OH man. That is way too sad. Who on earth puts on these events? I can't believe you're the only one who showed...
I talked to the woman behind it. We agreed the location and the advertising were to blame. I said, "Next year, call me: I have this. . .blog."
I agree, so sad! Did you ever find out why the one lady didn't bring her own age appropriate daughter? You'd think that would have been a free "take your kid to work" day!
this woman worked for the wayne co. parks & rec department. my guess is her daughter was at a daycare somewhere in the suburbs.
you are always the one going to these events... I am always the one throwing the event.
(i think this post would have been much improved by some pics of juney standing solemnly on the winner's podium with her medals. you know, for the national anthem.)
Aw, we woulda been there. I'm an events-scourer myself.
My daughter pulled a Juney-at-the-Olympics when she realized that we were the sole audience members at a variety show last month. It IS a little weird being mimed at and juggled for so directly. But she still asks how that man fit so many ping pong balls in his mouth, so I know it was a success.
Ok, coupled with the realities of Detroit, that makes me doubly sad. I'm part of a listserv with 1,000+ folks in the Ann Arbor area. I'm sure we could scrabble up some discus competition and my own daughter does a mean marshmellow toss. Alas...
Well. This is possibly the saddest story I've ever heard. It could only be sadder if the Olympics were, in fact, some child's birthday party.
I imagine showing up for exactly these sorts of events when my daughter gets here; the problem in New York is the opposite, though -- you end up jostling with 8 frillion other parents, children and caregivers, and spend 85% of your time in an endless line, far from the action. I think maybe I prefer the Detroit version.
Man, that is so freaking sad.
Instead of competing, maybe you should have had Juney pretend to be a protester. She could have held up a sign campaigning against the Detroit Nursery School's human rights violations. Or maybe she could have worn a t-shirt saying "Save Detroit!"
By the way, excellent A-Team reference.
that is just too sad. good for juney though, it could not have been easy. i also have sympathy for her lack of throwing skills, even with my advanced age i still can not throw. hopefully next year you will be the proud father of a Diaper Derby champ.
That is so sad. The people who should be using blogs aren't! That would have been a hilarious event.
I live in Redford (just west of Detroit for those unfamiliar) and we are always looking for new and interesting things for our 22 month old to experience. When I started reading your post I thought "wow, that sounds like fun, I wonder when it is happening?". As it became clear this was a post event post and a depressing tale at that I have to say I was a little disappointed! I obviously missed the original advertising for this event and heard absolutely nothing else about it at all.
I was glad to see that you stuck it out though. Your daughter sounds like she had a good time in spite of the lack of other children and at least someone enjoyed all of the hard work done by the volunteers. But seriously, what a mismanaged promotion and a waste of resources .
i too was happy to have a mental picture of mr t in my head, but sad to consider where it came from (much like a chicken nugget). i kept waiting for the "and then all the kids showed up on a bus that had broken down!" part.
That is sad! Wow. But I had to laugh when you talked about your daughter's knack for missing the target when she throws something. Nine times out of ten, when my three-year-old throws a ball in the air, it hits her on the head. Oops.
Well, at least you had your pick of half a dozen portapotties, though, right? And they probably all stayed clean.
Pretty please tell me you took pictures and post them as soon as humanly possible! That totaly sounds like a scene for a Wes Anderson film.
You must be so proud of your little Olympian. Way to represent!
My hubby is one of those rare stay-at-home dads that are shunned at the playground. Perhaps the moms planning to attend the Nursery School Olympics heard that a SAHD was planning to attend and kept their obligatory 25 mile distance. I'm just sayin.
I laughed so hard. If anything, I'm sure it was an amazing way to bolster her self-esteem!
By the way, I love reading your blog. I'm a Dooce reader who fell in love with your guest post.
For some odd reason, this breaks my heart.
All those kids who would have loved those marshmallows.
I'm afraid they'll never try this again. And yet, it's such a brilliant idea. Why did it not work?
Dude, this might be my favorite story you've shared. It's just really funny. And I've been on the other side - the side that plans and organizes and promotes and prepares for "the big event" - to then have only a few show up. You deserve the gold medal. Borrow one from Juniper.
There's always one word that in each of your posts that makes me snort with laughter. Today's word: sawbuck. Any post's a good post when it includes the word "sawbuck"!
Only in Detroit, man...
Similar disappointment on my end with the local farmer's market. I had visions of riding my bike there, even bought a corny little basket so I could haul my goodies home without churning out car emissions. The first day of the market? One. booth. One.
I was like a deflated balloon; husband laughed like a looney man.
I am another Dooce reader who fell in love with your guest posting. We are the same age, and I am an attorney (married to an art teacher for balance), and I have three young boys. Reading your posts are like reading about my own life, only told in a wittier manner than I ever could. I have spent the better part of a work week going back through your archives and reading your blog. Thank you for taking the time to write!
This is heartbreaking and extremely funny at the same time. I don't have any problems imagining Juniper with a hundred medals around her neck and it kind of breaks my heart, but I am having a hard time imagining the closing ceremony. Was it cancelled?
My heart just broke a little! How very brave of you and your daughter to stick it out - but what about your son? I am sure he could have tried competing in the toss the marshmallow challenge?
I really admire the fact that you not only take us through this heartbreak, but also have no fear naming it, making it real by verbalising how pathetic the event seemed without any kids around...
That *is* sad. I've had to start keeping an eye out for those events -- the ones that seem like they were only listed in the events calendar the local alternative weekly, where only couple dozen activity-obsessed parents like me might've found it.
I'm kind of disappointed you and Juniper didn't compete with one another. I put my odds on her for the marshmallow shot-put.
I guess Gram won the diaper derby, just for showing up?
We've been listening to the Annie soundtrack lately, so I really appreciated the reference to all those jazz hands.
What a wonderfully written post.
Where...when...how?? How did I miss this? (although now I am vaguely remembering seeing something, somewhere, but recalling they were Downriver for some reason). We would have LOVED this! And I would have written about it for Savvy Source and my three readers would have come! Sheesh. Well,I'm glad Juney grabbed the gold, anyway.
A similar thing happened to us several years ago.
http://kristyk.org/blog/?p=58
Each year more and more kids show up. This year there were almost fifty!
oh that is tragic. maybe it's the advertiser in me but what kind of event planner doesn't specifically reach out to all the day care (public and private) nursery school and day camp directors to notify them of this type of thing? not to mention local religious congregations, local news stations, etc. ugh. what a waste of what detroit doesn't seem to have enough of to begin with.
too bad you couldn't have called up a bunch of parents and gone or met as a group- even if that's not your style.
This sounds like many of my childhood events. I was homeschooled in Minneapolis back in the 80s (when it was still in the throes of white flight/urban blight) by parents who were doing it for education anti-establishment reasons rather than religious reasons, and we'd often happen upon events that were poorly attended. Add to that my mother's fear/loathing of crowds, and many of our field trips were solitary both by accident and design. We once happened upon Frank Gehry as he was working on a sculpture for the Walker Art Center and he spent a good chunk of time explaining his art and childhood to us, my mother and three kids, 4, 6, and 8 years old.
Good memories all around.
Oh Detroit. If i could hug a city, i would.
That is so sad - my daughter would have loved to participate.
So that makes me feel better about the 7 kids at the film festival this weekend..
The worst fallout from this may be that she will have an inflated sense of self and her athletic prowess. You should hide any pictures and the medals themselves until you are sure she won't employ them in setting herself up for some major embarrassment in elementary school.
Cause I just know that's what would have happened to me.
that is seriously sad. for some reason, even though i just read the newspaper, that seems like the saddest sad story i've heard in a long time. maybe i'm creating an amalgam. uh, is that how you spell that?
I always feel so bad for the people that go to the trouble of putting these types of things together. They seem so sincere and then - bam! Nothing.
It's kind of like the time I took my boys to the train museum - no one even knew one existed in Houston. When we got there the staff - mostly older men who retired from the railroad - were all over my kids. One admited to me they hadn't seen a child in the museum in over a month so they were very excited to see the younger generation taking an interest. (I hated to mention we were there because it was free)
Apparently it had been long enough that the tour guides forgot how to talk to children, so for a 7 and 5 year old discussion on the pressure requirments for steam engines to pull 200 tons of this and that meant little to them. They did their best, but when one of the guides asked if there were any question after a particulary lenghty dissertation, my oldest raised his hand, "I have a question, sir. Are you done talking yet?"
My hat goes off to anybody who puts themselves out there to entertain children at no personal gain to themselves.
Found your blog from your guest spot at Dooce and I can't tell you how great it is to know you live in Michigan!! I live in Port Huron. Loved your post about the stadium. The photos are wonderful!! This blog is great, so glad I found you!!!
That sounds completely surreal. I've had messed up dreams like that, I could swear it.
I second the call for a pic of Juney stumbling under the weight of her many gold medals.
I guess sometimes you build it, and they still don't come.
Another Michigander (Lansing) brought in from Dooce.
As someone who assists in event planning, this is just seriously sad. But, woohoo for the golds!
Such a bittersweet story; such a beautifully written post, as per usual.
Please tell me there are photos of Juney from this day!
I, too, found you through dooce and I'm so glad I did.
I'm so glad you stuck it through and I do believe that the Nursery School Olympics do, indeed, count, and make a difference. It's great to read about dads who go the distance with their children.
Brilliant. The best Roller Coaster Bossy has ever ridden.
An Urban "Tree Falls in the Forrest" conundrum, indeed. Loved this.
oh god. this is perfectly expressed. it's not sad it's fucking hysterical. and if it was put on by the city, then whaddya expect. i worked for th city of LA housing (i.e. The projects) and there were so many events like that for kids living on developments and nobody ever knew about them to go.
this was so funny and your BA Baracus reference really made me forgive you for that f-ed up post on doulas way back when. not that your sorry, but ya know.
My favorite line:
"Hot damn, I thought, that will burn at least an hour of daylight!"
My thoughts exactly, back when I stayed home with our 3 girls.
Hilarious!
My son (6) was the only kid at the portable planetarium in one of Detroit's suburbs the other day. We waited 15 minutes for other kids to show up and then he got the royal treatment of the galaxy all to himself. Weird feeling, huh?
You're being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/20...edition-
13.html
This is the greatest story ever. Period. so much so I HAD to illustrate it.
http://graphicvectors.blogspot.c...on-this-
is.html
I hope you like it.
Love the added artwork! That makes it perfect.
"If you build it, they will come."
Damn. I would hug Detroit, too, if I could. How many marshmallows did y'all get to eat?
I wanted to mention, too, that I fell in love with Sweet Juniper long before I read Dooce. For what it's worth.
hamtramck, last summer - signed the boy up for recreation for rugrats, aka - sports. the first meet the (really young) coach was there but showed up very late, 2nd meet the coach wasn't there but one other parent showed, 3rd meet no one showed except for me and the boy. super lame.
That's awesome. Although, as a YMCA employee, that is always my fear when we try something new. Will anyone show up?
Glad to see that Juniper inherited your athletic skills, though.
"this woman worked for the wayne co. parks & rec department. my guess is her daughter was at a daycare somewhere in the suburbs."
Oh. THAT breaks my heart.
So very sad, and probably a memory that would be fantastic if Juney can hang on to it. I think at three it's a bit dicey what will stay and what will be just another crazy story Daddy likes to tell about the years he stayed home with me. My fave part is actually the anticipation, since I just read on The Happiness Project that looking forward to the experience is one of four components of happiness. It's ironic that the looking forward to it was such a mismatch with the actual experience. Happily, the anticipation phase had already delivered some happiness to you guys.
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