Beautiful.
Amazing. Brought back lots of memories of watching Scarecrow and Mrs.King as a kid and long nights with the kid now.
wow. you always pack the spare key? i'm impressed.
would you expect anything else from such a smooth operative?
I had an uncle who spoke Chinese and worked for the CIA. He even had a sinister Gorbachev-like birthmark on his head.
Now he coaches girls' softball and tunes pianos.
that reminds me of my wife's former professor who was a CIA spy in China for awhile. He was chubby and had a sex offender mustache and mall glasses and made a clumsy pass at her once (later apologizing for "making a pass").
I think the only place he has ever been a badass is the World of Warcraft.
Cute story. Instead of CIA fantasies, when I was a kid I would dream of somehow getting my hands on a metal detector and finding some buried treasure in the field across the street from our house. Never happened. Or, I should say, it hasn't happened yet.
You may not be a spy, but you are certainly a writing and parenting superhero.
Hearing "The Final Countdown" always makes me think of Arrested Development.
I like how what was frustrating, and a tad mundane, has become adventurous on this screen.
I actually applied for the FBI my last year of lawschool and was called back for the intelligence tests and interviews, but then I got deployed to Iraq. When I got back, I decided I'd had enough adventure and would prefer to make a decent living with my JD instead.
Great story. I was in a pensive mood and now I'm happy. Thanks for the read!
I did four years in the Army, from ages 18-22. At the time, I had visions of joining some kind of plain-clothes federal agency post-discharge.
Then I got out of the army, went to college, and grew my hair down to my chest.
Tomorrow, I turn 39. I have short hair, two kids, a wife and a mortgage I can barely afford. But I get paid to sit at home and write, and I see more of my kids than most dads could hope for. I'll take that over the 007 life.
Taking a vacation to the French Riviera alone with my wife, on the other hand ... THAT I could go for.
Yes! I too harbor spy fantasies--and definitely of the cinematic persuasion. Excellent.
I work in DC and for a few years helped train "people". You're right. They're nobody you'd think of when thinking of spies. Even so though, sometimes while training, or running mock excercises I'd think 'this is so badass'. The fun thing about DC is that it's been used for those sorts of things for years and the invisible layer of secrets is there if you know how to look for it.
I love this story so much. I don't have kids yet, but I think everyone can identify with wanting to be on a covert op of some such.
Impressive skills there with that key. I hope you found Woods' reaction satisfactorily gratifying.
I though it might make you smile to know that we have changed the lyrics the The Final Countdown to The Final Meltdown, to be sung when the universe is confirming it's nap time. I can send you the full re-worked lyrics if you'd like.
No joke, I was training for the FBI during my last year of law school. The cigarette smoking didn't help much. I had also conveniently forgotten about the fact that I'm a naturalised American formerly a naturalised Canadian and accidentally joined the World Socialist Organization in Harvard Square at the age of 15, basically making any sort of clearance extremely painful.
I was just clinging to the dream of Miss Congeniality and my parents being Republicans to push me through the world of badassery.
Honestly? On a day like this even being holed up in Jakarta with a mousy former National Merit Scholar sounds better than being holed up in a messy house on the outskirts of Detroit with two little children. At least in Jakarta we can go outside (I don't mind monsoons).
I had discussions with the CIA after law school...usually in non-descript Roslyn-area office buildings. My expectations were along the lines of dry analyst assignments at a cubicle in Langley. To my surprise, they were looking for "social" operatives adept at embassy parties and other events, to be placed in foreign countries...cultivating intelligence sources. I think the question "are you comforable socializing at parties" was asked on more than one occasion. Although intriguing, I ultimately went in a different direction. The retinue of follow-up tests (lie detector, sodium pentathol et al.) also seemed somewhat daunting.
I know you're committed to this crunchy-granola lifestyle and all, but please: You're allowed Pampers for road trips. I mean, the earth will recover.
thanks, nance, but we'd have to go to target to get diapers, and we don't have one of those in detroit, and it's actually more of a pain to get there than you'd think. and we're a little lazy. and cheap. It's not so bad to travel with cloth diapers. of course, I'm not the one who lugged the smelly bag to the car, so it's easy for me to say.
This is awesome.
I, too, have always wondered what my life would have been like had I followed my Le Carre and Clancy dreams. ~sigh~
nice!
sahm or wahm mostly out of work... just one kid but this warmed my heart. Nice to be reminded, sometimes this is the place we need to be right now. Even if I wish I was sitting on a nice WARM beach anywhere else 
this was really good. it's funny to think we all desire these glamorous lives and know we are meant for so much more... meanwhile i am cleaning dog poo off the hardwoods for the third time this week.
One of my husband's favorite pieces of totally useless knowledge is that Fred Rogers (as in "Won't you be my neighbor?" Fred Rogers) was a CIA sniper, either in WWII or Korea (the husband can't remember which.) There's definite hope for your espionage career.
the spies i know
are so deeply undercover
that i don't know that i know they're spies.
or something.
loved this post!
Re: Mr. Rogers ... the good man was not a sniper ... http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv...tv/
mrrogers.asp
I worked in a CPA office as a secretary for a guy who was an accountant. He'd formerly been in the CIA. He had a beard and was very good at noticing little details.
Traveling with cloth diapers?! You really are a bad ass!
I really enjoy your blog. One of my faves.
Man, can you write.
Priceless. The grass always seems greener, doesn't it?
you're one of the coolest cats I know.
Nice. You always manage to bring a sentimental tear to my eye.
This brought back some memories.
Both my dad and his best friend were in "the agency" when I was little. Years later, post agency, when they would get together I would crouch at the top of the stairs late into the night and listen to their stories.
They never talked about the intrigue (and my dad was a field guy). Instead they laughed over pranks they had played during training.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
You cracked me up! That's no small feat, as I'm a 17-year veteran of single motherhood and accordingly worn down. Thanks for the laughs!
Ah, but keep in mind that those "pint-size slobs" have dreams as precious as yours!
I don't know if it's leisure exactly, but it's definitely leisure. And yeah, I've been there, but instead of a bank account in Geneva it's a loft in Soho, with no phone.
Definitely elegant, I meant to say.
Signed,
I may be tired, and spaced out, but at least I'm using disposable diapers.
dude, that is seriously hard core traveling with cloth diapers- even our most hard core hippie tree hugging ecoenviro-lovin friends use disposables when they travel...wow.
also, sounds like jim could use a leatherman for his bday- my FIL swears by his, and it has gotten quite a few broken keys out of locks through the years. plus all the other nifty spy gadgets, of course.
and i thought i was the only one with a kid who knew 'the final countdown'- that is awesome!
I'm a day late and a dollar short, this is pertaining to your last post about Cincinnati. My husband is from Covington, KY and I never had the pleasure of visiting the vast wonder known as "nati" until soon before we married. I have to say, I was quite surprised by what a great town it is! Just wondering are you as fixated on Cincinnati Chili as I am? We have to pick up a case every time we visit, and while we are there, we usually visit Skyline or Dixie at least 5-7 times during our long weekend visit. Btw, I'm from Neenah, Wi, and remember staying for weekends in Green Bay and thinking it was the s**t! Just loved the magical motels!
Thanks to Nancy @ nn.c for leading me to your site. I think your description of "tetrissing" your luggage was outstanding! I instantly knew exactly what you meant. My wife and I recently spent a week in Germany with our daughter and son-in-law (US Army officers)and our year old grandson. While traveling between Frankfurt, Landstuhl, Garmisch-Partenkirchen and Munich, hauling luggage for 4 adults, car seat, pak-and-play, stroller and the required baby support supplies, as well as two sets of ski gear, in a Subaru Forester, I've experienced "tetrissing" first hand.
I also enjoy playing the spy game, but it almost got me in trouble on my last visit to Heidelburg. Showing my passport, clearing customs, listening to the various foreign languages being spoken, and blending in with the local citizens all lend authenticity to the fantasy.
The USAEUR HQ is located in a former Nazi compound, with massive statues depicting German military history decorating the outer walls. My son-in-law suggested I could take some pictures while waiting on him to finish some business inside the compound, so I went across the street to capture the historic scene. All I can say is, the US Army REALLY DOES NOT APPRECIATE anyone taking pictures of secure installations. The fortified front gate was out of my camera's viewfinder but I was not out of sight of the MP's! After some interrogation (NO waterboarding necessary), deleting pictures from my digital camera and a phone conversation with his superior officer, the MP sternly told me, "The Colonel is busy. I suggest you disappear before he gets UNBUSY!". So ended my brief career as a secret agent.
What kid doesn't dream of being a spy, you know?
I left you an award on my blog. I don't expect you to do anything about it, I just wanted to lead more people over here.
Interesting. You are the only other human being I have ever shared (knowingly) the desire to be a spy as a youngster with. I guess I was a bit older - mid to late teens - and I used to practice my spy skills all the time. I got a degree with a major in one language, and minors in two others, with this exact intention. During my several backpack-wielding trips throughout Europe, sleeping on stinky trains and in lackluster hostels with nothing but a garden hose for a shower, reading used copies of Ludlum novels, I envisioned a different existence for myself. Of course, now I am also a "jobless" child caretaker, creating artwork in my spare time, exactly where I should be, which is not blending into Europe eavesdropping on conversations or analyzing reams of text and spools of tape. I don't think it is nearly as glamorous as it is in our minds.
Touche, pussycat. Beautiful redhead indeed.
P.S. The man you fantasize about? In the convertible Aston Martin with the Bridget Bardot(ian) soundtrack? He doesn't hold a candle to the Dutch we know and love, indie-rockin' down the back streets of Detroit with the windows up.
*Brigitte
When I was a judge's clerk, pushing paperwork at the local courthouse, I used to dream of being one of those CSI investigators. The kind that could look at a speck of dirt and know exactly what area of the country it came from, saving the world from another madman with my encyclopedic brain. And of course, I'd take that madman down myself - a BadAss in 4-inch heels.
Now, as a SAHM, when my eye starts twitching? I imagine I'm back in Mexico. On that vacation before we had The Screamer. Just quiet. That's what my fantasies have boiled down to.
your stories keep getting better and better - I hope you write a book someday
and how smart is it to take the valet key along? only a spy would think of doing something so simple, yet incredibly useful
Commenting by HaloScan
