Isn't that the truth!
And why does Somerset just call out your name whenever you think about shopping?
As an attorney, I can say that your life sounds appealing and glorious to me! But being able to reconnect with a friend who lives a totally different life is truly wonderful.
haha ... isn't THAT the truth. We look for someone to pull us out of our reality for a bit sometimes and when they experience ours, they just want to crash. Such is life.
As a part-time attorney (for a brewery) and a mother of three(!) boys under the age of 5, your words could have been mine. Life can be mundane, yes, but at the same time so filled with joy that I could weep at any moment thinking about how lucky I am. If only I could have the time to make breakfast for myself before I leave the house, or brush my hair...that would be a treat. An evening out that involves cocktails and fancy clothes is unfathomable to me.
I LOVE my friends who don't have kids yet!!!!! Especially the ones who would love to have kids and don't yet. They have so much more patience than I do.
The only friends I dread visiting now are the ones with YOUNGER kids, like babies who have never pulled the curtains off the windows while throwing an enormous tantrum. I just dread the look of "we'll never let our kid do that!" in their eyes!
The first time I was at Somerset Collection, I basically felt like a hobo. I had never seen eleven year old girls with highlights and Coach bags. Then I went to the more expensive side and I was afraid to walk in the stores.
I have felt the same way as you with our childless single friends or even double-income married childless friends. They just can't understand and you can't help but feel self-conscious about your life.
OMG, this is so funny and exactly what my childless sister says after a day with my daughter.
in a nutshell, girl! perfection as usual.
we still get invited to things we'd barely be able to manage w/ just one child. we just look at each other with eyes of acceptance.
hope you are loving the new job- xo.
OMG that is awesome!
And congrats on the new clothes. It can make SUCH a difference!
can't we? i'm tired too.
There is no place else I would rather be now then on my couch with my daughter laying in my lap watching Dora!
P.S. I am so glad you found a pair of jeans, that in and of itself is a "win" in my book!
Hah ... I had a very similar experience when I was newly pregnant with our 2nd and feeling very tied to home. Meanwhile my old pal came by for a visit with her new beau and were telling tales of their very cool travels. Shortly afterwards she became pregnant with twins! Now, I am off to Spain with our mobile kids and she is asking for stories from afar to keep her motivated.
ha! vindication!
Strangely, my husband is involved in a campaign to not spend any dollars, period (nevermind what city or suburb I'm in). I'm glad you got a chance to reconnect with a friend.
I love reading this blog because it reminds me of me, but in another life. I've been that NY corporate lawyer, I'm actually an LA corporate lawyer, but we're having our first kid in October and I'm hoping to transition into that sort of "mundane" joy that you describe on these pages. We're settled out here, but on occasion, I think about returning to Michigan for a quieter life. You guys let me explore that idea through your stories. 
Thank you.
Having grown up in Troy, now in SF with my 3 yr old girl and 6.5 mo old son, I enjoy your blog. Somerset when I was young, was such a different place. It's a bit much, but a great indulgence occasionally.
Funny. My hubby and I were just talking last night about this thing. Being parents and losing the "glamorous" life. And about how I wished so desperately to be "glamorous" again instead of a soccer mom to two boys. To have highlights and manicured fingers and accessories that matched! I guess we all long for this at some point. But life comes in stages. We're steeped deeply in mamahood now. But our time will come, full circle. We'll be the glamorous ones while our now-single-then-married-and-pregnant friends look on enviously. I promise.
Return of the Leggy Swede!
(I loved that nickname.)
Sometimes you just need a great pair of jeans...and you can't find them at the local thrift store. Thank goodness for your having a friend who motivates you to go out and have experiences like this--while embracing your children.
I miss being able to shop at Somerset - not that I was able to afford much there, but loved looking around anyway. West Michigan is a little bit lacking in the shopping arena. I'm trying to campaign for at least a Trader Joe's around here!
And I know exactly what you're saying about feeling embarrassed about the mundane-ness of life with kids...especially when you're visiting with childless chichi friends.
This is just perfect. l love your blog, usually lurking, but this post captures the mom experience and the contrast with others so well, I had to write. And I think I also have to send the link to all my non-blog reading mom friends who don't understand my blog habit.
Thank you, Wood.
This was such a beautiful entry. I loved the dichotomy of your lives meshed in with your friendship. Lovely.
Oh wow, yeah Somerset! When I was a kid, we used to ride our bikes down there to mosey around. It wasn't nearly as fancy back then as it was a few years ago when my cousin took me there to find a swim suit. I hardly recognized it.
Classic. And GOOD for you for nabbing those perfect jeans.
It's only been a year, but I'm not sure that I remember what it was like to have energy, to have the drive to get out at night for anything!
As for your husband's quixotic quests, I can totally relate to those. It's what we do as men now that we don't have anything important to do like hunt or gather or make war.
I think you and Jim seem like such a good fit. I hope he realized it was in the best interests of his one-family revitalization project to allow you a splurge outside the city without too much complaining. It's like a periodic cleansing forest fire.
I'm sure the presence of a gorgeous Swedish lawyer for a few days helped ease any strains for him during that time, though. Beautiful people and fresh scenery always have calming effects.
I love you Wood!! Please write more postings! I love the way that you write - straightforward, no nonsense & exactly like it is.
I know I know- that was an excellent read!
I love it when you post! This was another great one. I imagine the lives of my single girlfriends in much the same way. I don't even want to know how they see mine.
Your concerns when comparing your life to hers sound so familiar. But I have found that each of us always wants a bit of the other side. I contacted an old friend from middle school, and found her with 3 kids living in our home town. I was envious because that's what I wanted, the stability and promise of a young family. On the flip side, she was envious of my single life, living in different parts of the states. Although not a mom yet, I can only imagine how much you have on your plate with work and kids. But what I wouldn't give to be in your place - as I am both unemployed (living in a foreign country, trying to find work has been a bit tough) and trying to start a family.
Oh, and thanks to you and Jim for the laugh. I look forward to that epic poem... =)
Somerset Collection is one of the main reasons I go back home to visit family. There is nothing like it here in DC. Just please tell me that you did go out later.
I am currently visiting a friend with kids and the second I walked in the door she asked if I wanted wine. I was like "Uh, no. I want to change out of these damn clothes and go to bed."
Also I think I'm a closet 56 year old. The other day these older women in the office were talking about how they go home and do what they do and RARELY leave the house afterwards. I was like, if I get home at 3 PM on a Saturday afternoon? That's it. I'm not leaving the house again. So either I'm old or lazy or both.
Beautiful post Wood. It seems we always romanticize a life that isn't ours and have a hard time realizing that our lovely little life is being envied by someone else at the same time. (did that make sense?)
As for Somerset, I'm with Michelle. I feel like a hobo there too. I try to put on that "air" like I'm a rich person in disguise, but I still feel people know I'm an imposter and belong at the lowlier mall a few miles south. Truthfully, I prefer that lowly mall, so it all works out.
As the working mom of two in elementary school, I totally sympathize with the exhaustion of the mundane. The post really struck a chord with me, because we visited my oldest friend this summer, a married but childless professional in another college town like ours, in a similarly old house fighting to decay before it is restored. And while we talked about those things and the upcoming election and absent friends, as we cooked and played with the kids, in a basic way we reverted to our senior year in high school, when we met.
We tried on each others jeans, we compared lotions, she confessed to trying Botox. My daughter was surprised we spent so much time "talking about beauty" (because it's not much of a part of my daily life). But after a certain point, there are so few people you can bond with over that stuff, and at heart you still do care, even if you don't care much.
I made an appointment to get my hair cut today after reading this. I don't think I'll venture to the farflung strip malls of Ilium, though.
I can so relate - this is exactly how our weekends go when my best friend from college comes to stay with us!
And congratulations on finding the perfect pair of jeans ... THAT is a HUGE victory all unto itself.
The story of my life at present. I love it!
Great post, Wood! And good for you for getting out and indulging yourself a little bit (congrats on the new job, too!).
amen.
you got hot jeans *and* dutch got a day off.
and your friend got a new dose of birth control. amen again.
I am currently following Jim's philio in an attempt to get back to Detroit so I can do what he is doing & have occasioanl nights out with my girlfriends that are still there like the one you attempted.
It's so nice to have friends that are always just like you were before. It makes you feel like the loss of all those brain cells wasn't that big of a deal. Awesome that she just slung Gram on & all. She's good people.
It's so refreshing and nice to hear that others are going through the same things my husband and I are. I do get embarrassed at our messy, toy-filled, diaper-changing, food-on-the-floor, crumbly, ring-around-the-tub, nothing to wear and laundry everywhere, what's for dinner lifestyle. I just don't know how to change it yet. My kids are just too small still.
I would like a cocktail.
See, kids suck the energy out of everyone! Even gorgeous, Swedish lawyers. :o)
We think those little munchkins are worth it though.
Don't get me started on the embarrassment over the messy house!
Oh how I long for Somerset somedays! What's with the new outdoor mall trend? I know it's warm in Kentucky for most of the year, but it's still pretty darn cold while I'm Christmas shopping in December. And the last place I lived was Cleveland...there's something wrong when they spend a ridiculous amount of money to heat the streets and sidewalks of the mall because it would be cheaper than snow removal. Hmmm...maybe a roof would've done the trick.
I feel your friend's pain. I watched my 2 nephews one night while my sister & brother-in-law went out. I was only there for 4 hours, but they wore me out! I didn't wake up the next day until 11:30 and I still felt like I needed more sleep!
Rock on you super Moms!
This:
But mostly I was embarrassed for being so worn out so much of the time from a life that was so mundane.
OH YEAH.
Oh There is somethimng so familar in your story, even though our life is probably very different. I really enjoyed reading it
X M
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