Hilarious. I used to work in Kokomo for the Dems during the 2000 election (well, the political consultancy I worked for placed me there). It's a dying auto industry town and doesn't have much in the way of non-chain dining from what I remember.
(long time lurker,btw)
if you had traveled about 15 miles (if that) southwest of where you were to good ol' logansport (or, logantucky as we affectionately call it) you would have found some of the best old time drive thrus ever. and an excellent place for someone like junie. the park is called "little turtle water way" she would have loved it.
you may have even got to see dirty earl. the resident one-shoed recycle stealing guy of the town.
Loved this! The Carly reference was hilarious! I have the same desire with regard to dining out while on vacation. For some reason, we're always in some big hurry though and end up at McDonalds or Burger King.
Ugh, we have one of those at home, in the petulant 4 year old version...
incidentally, if you hear of anything cool or kid-worthy going on in the Detroit area around the 4th of July, we will be visiting relatives and would love an escape plan.
As difficult as it is to remember at times, what is wonderous in the eyes of a child seems tacky, plastic, disgusting, unhealthy, and generic to us. And vice versa - the things we find nostalgic, quaint, pure, unique, kitchy, and brilliant seem blah, boring, uneventful and lackluster to them. She will develop taste one day... in the meantime, driving the road of moderation between the extremes, veering one way or the other from time to time, seems the best approach!
You gotta hand it to them they know how to market to kids..
I long to build a place for adults like the mcdonalds playland.. COuld you imagine the structure it would be magnificent..
Bert grew up in Auburn. There is a drive-in called The Little Brown House that serves excellent chili dogs. No tubes though. But I'm sure there are plenty of kids named Carly walking up to the window.
Trasi's got the golden ticket. SO right.
For a long time, as we flew constantly from Rochester, MN to Rochester, NY, I had my children convinced that McDonald's existed only in the Detroit airport. It became part of our magic day of flying and riding the red train.
That's what I'm talking about. Look out, Dybek.
I've been reading your site for a while now and love it! However, I haven't had a great reason to comment until today--I grew up in Middlebury, IN, home of Das Dutchman Essenhaus! Those Amish people market the hell out of that place.
As I grew up there, I watched as the restaurant turned into an entire compound (seriously, the whole place is huge!) complete with an inn and gifts shops all crammed with the same cheap country-looking crap and plastic toys. Sure, the food is ok, but to this day I still can't understand the mass appeal of the place. Whenever I return to visit family that still lives there, I can't believe all the people that drive from all over the country just to visit the place.
I guess I'm jaded from living there, but honestly, you didn't miss much!
The tubes. Of course.
Wow, even you can't trump a place with decades of experience luring children and their poor parents in with bright colors, plastic tubes, princess toys and fatty, salty french fries. The mere mention of the golden arches makes me want a cheeseburger.
I stopped at McDonalds with my daughter for the restroom and a shake and lost at least 35 minutes of my life trying to coax her out of the tubes. Finally, I had to crawl up there myself and wrestle her down. I wish Carly had been there.
hey that's how my husband describes his college experience- except his tubes were in the 3ft variety...
we caved on mcd's a long while back...i will say that their 3 chocchip cookies for a buck is a nice way to console myself over the rest of the meal's nutritional content.
this reminds me of an article i once read where the author decides never to take the kids to a destination vacation again, and just takes them to the local holiday inn equivalent a mile from home- justifying that travel is waste of money with little ones when all they care about is the pool at the hotel.
kudos to you both for doing a driving vacation with a 3 yr old and a newborn. wow.
It was a noble try to avoid the McDonalds, but it is almost a rite of passage to cavort in the big plastic tubes that smell like feet!
See, the McDonald's of my youth were not full of tubes, but very cool tree-house things you climbed up inside of and then could hang out the 'leaf' part. If that makes sense. I think they were much more fun.
This was hilarious, and very true. Love it.
Did you know that Das Dutch Essenhaus is a chain? Crazy.
I've been to one in O-H-I-O.
I love McDonalds. I know.
Oh, sweet Essenhaus. My mouth waters just thinking about their magical Amish peanut butter.
I love to eat at new and unavailable-at-home places, but somehow every road trip I end up with a McDonald's bag in my car.
I'll keep trying to avoid it, but I know, one day, it will find me again.
At least you picked a McDonalds. When we were on vacation I had a 2 month old with a shitty diaper and a 2 year old with a really shitty diaper and they didn't have a changing station. So i had to change the baby on a food tray in the bathroom on the floor! My husband had to change our 2 year old standing up in the boys bathroom!
i believe you just wrote an ode to mcdonalds, like it or not. this is probably the most poetic thing they've ever had written about them.
Holy Crap Dutchman! I ate the Essenhaus EVERY TIME I visted my first husbands family in Goshen Indiana. My life was finally complete when I had fried mush. I got cankles (and I am rather slim ankled) eating there...
Have you been to the Mennohof?http://www.mennohof.org/?
I've been trading on the info gleaned from the anababtist movie.
I like your attitude - not eating anywhere you can eat at home. I remember a road trip from Columbia, MO to Memphis on which we tried to do just that. This was five or so years ago and it was virtually impossible then. I can only imagine it's gotten harder as America has no doubt gotten more McChained.
The Mcdonald's of my youth had no tubes.
They did have flattened burgers that came to you in styrofoam containers that you could spell things on with your fingernail. Once, a real-life Darth Vader and 'Stormtrooper' visited as a part of a promotional tie-in, and we stood in line to see them. It was warm that day, and something was dripping out of Darth's mouthguard. Still, I got their autographs and mouthgaurd drippings on my "The Empire Strikes Back" promotional flyer.
Wait, not Mcdonald's. Taco John's.
It is a dark day when you have to sit in a sticky booth at along I69, and worry about what germs your child is picking up in the greasy tubes. I know the spot well... it's on the way to our lake house. We zoom by without stopping as often as possible. Nice that the Carlys were there for the rescue.
Huh. Apparently you have a strong Goshen/Middlebury readership. I have nothing useful to say, but wanted to be added to the list -- my parents live and I grew up a couple of miles from the Essenhaus.
Oh, wait! I do have something to add. Next time you're in the area, you must go to E&S Bulk Sales in Shipshewana. It's an Amish-run grocery (cash only, of course) which sells everything in bulk packaging. Ever wanted to buy a bag of colored marshmallows bigger than your child? Okay, no. But you do want to look at a place that has that for sale for super-cheap, right? (And actually, a better selection of organic whole-wheat pasta than I've seen in any yuppie-granola store in the Boston area.)
Hilarious. Damn McDonalds. In high school and first year of college, I worked at two of them. I have vowed to never, EVER take my daughter to one. But of course, last time the in laws had her they took her. I guess once in her 2 years isn't going to kill anybody. The thought of 12,000 kids in one Playland makes me want to go bathe in bleach.
Glad y'all made it home in one piece 
I swear we have eaten at that very McDonald's (after the one in Kokomo didn't have a playland). I don't ever admit to eating at place's like that, but your post was too good.
I've been reading your blog for quite a while and it's weird to read something about Kokomo, since i lived there for a few months not so long ago. And it's so sad yo know that you ended up at a McDonalds!
Next time you're in the area (if you ever do) look for Jay's Authentic Thai Cuisine, it's the ONLY thing i miss about that place Seriously, pretty damn good food! the type you would never expect to find in a place like Kokomo.
I haven't lived in Indiana for over 13 years, and I left Bloomington over 17 years ago....but I feel a strong sense of homesickness now. I'm wondering which lodge...actually, I'm guessing, and if I'm right, I'm surprised wifi was ever an option.
I had the opposite experience driving through Detroit with our 2.5 year old and 5 month old. We got trapped on the interstate in a blinding rainstorm with a hungry toddler and a baby who wanted to be nursed not now, but right now, while I (the source of all things lactation) was driving.
We began to desperately scan the horizons for an off-ramp and the golden arches. For some reason, the 800 golden arches we had seen and commented on previously (as in, how many of these damn places do they need?) suddenly petered out into nothing. We finally exited, and found a little dive-y place called Scooters, which boasted the oddest collection of clientele we had ever seen on one place.
The place with the tubes. We stopped there, just once, on the way home from a trip to Montreal, and it immediately became THE SLIDE PLACE and, apparently, her most visceral memory from a weekend in one of our country's loveliest cities. But for the peace it brought, and the smile on her face, it was worth it.
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