I just went off caffeine myself this week. The first day it seemed so easy and then Day 2 happened and it's been a battle ever since.
Glad to know I'm not alone.
oh, I didn't mean to give the impression I'm off caffeine. I'm just off the artificially sweetened drinks.
I'm very much still on caffeine. Very much.
so I am alone.
Awesome.
I don't know if you are alone, but if you are giving up caffeine entirely, you may be insane.
I, too, have gotten through college and years of a soul-sucking corporate job without ever succumbing to coffee. And I used to be a Coke purist, too - the straight, red-can, sugary stuff. But in an effort to lose weight last year I switched to the dark side: Diet Coke. And now, I am right there with you. The searing headache after a day without Diet Coke always pulls me back off the wagon and into the clutches of its effervescent elixir.
I gave up caffeine for three weeks and I swear my brain was going to disengage and fly out of my nostrils. I'm *trying* really, really hard to not drink diet coke but if the urge strikes I drink caffeine free diet coke because it seems as though I enjoy being miserable.
My office has free soda, too. It takes every ounce of will power not to drink more than 1 or 2 sodas each day. Usually I fail. Damn corporate America.
LOVE the Trainspotting bit at the beginning of this post!
Good luck with kicking the artificial sweeteners. Can I make you a nice espresso and a pot of green tea?
i'm off DC since november when my dentist told me i couldn't have it after some dental work. it was really really hard to get off...my body was not happy (headache, chills/sweats, ear ringing!). after three days i was better. good luck!
I gave up soda altogether in college as a 6 week test of my wills. Harder said than done considering the cafeteria choices were soda, soda, soda, soda, orange juice, cranberry juice, iced tea, and some mystery red punch.
But honestly, after the first week, it was easy. Since then, I rarely touch the stuff. It just isn't as appealing. Nowadays I'm a big iced tea drinker. But in an attempt to cut useless calories, I only order it unsweetened.
Diet Coke is not a crime, dammit. I've given up all my other vices in the name of parenthood, but you can have my DC when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
I got hooked on diet pepsi when I was an undergrad. I was the newspaper editor, and there was a four-sided pyramid of pepsi cans taller than me in the corner of the student newspaper office. All mine.
I quit diet pepsi when I got pregnant. And coffee, but I'm back on that now. I have a diet pepsi about once a month or so, and I can't believe I ever drank so much of it. It tastes weird now.
Good luck de-coking.
When I was pregnant (and constantly nauseous!) I would have given a kidney for a Diet Coke. Really.
Now, I go for 2 maybe 3 weeks at a time w/o it - but then I'm back, baby - just can't quit it!
a few years ago the soda machine at school used to have a 2 for one on the vanilla coke- if you pressed the button just right, one would ka-thunk down, and then the other. it was awesome.
we used to give up soda for lent (unroll your eyes) every year til it sort of became a way of life- we just noticed that we weren't so chubby after 40 days of fasting from it. so we just kind of stopped drinking it altogether except for a treat- especially at passover, when the special real-sugar coke comes out- mmmm...
i was waiting for wood to suggest that sacajawea never had any damn diet coke on her journey cross country. but clearly, she's a better woman than i am.
And she drinks diet soda instead of water because she "doesn't like the way water tastes."
I have said those very words about myself, I am embarrassed. I gave up the diet soda when my doctor said something about it possibly harming my fetus. That was 12 years ago but after reading your post I think I'm still a recovering addict, made me want to drink Diet Coke again.
Oh, Diet Coke/Diet Pepsi. I love them both so much. I've abstained off and on since college and you know what is the thing I miss the most? The fizz. I LOVE the carbonation. I MISS the carbonation. And those carbonated waters or 7up/Sprite/Sierra Mist are not the same--the bubbles have a different texture. Clearly I've thought about this a bit too much. But damn, my mouth is watering just thinking about soda.
You all are too much. I think with this one, the comments are just as funny and entertaining as the post itself!
I type this as I drink my Dr. Pepper and smile...I love being an addict!
I guess Wood is the clever one, appealing to your inner skinflint.
Damn you all for even making me think of the stuff. Now I may have to partake.
I feel the same way about the non-diet stuff. Love it, love it, love it. The artificial sweetners in diet drinks give me a screaming headache. Love real coke, but the calories don't love me back. I am down to one a day, but I resent it with every breath in my body. Sigh.
I am astonished you made it through Law School un-caffeinated. In those days it was sometimes the only thing keeping me going. Now I am not even a human being until I have had an espresso or a very strong coffee. The firm I worked at had a Starrbucks in the building lobby, I was told it was one of the highest grossing stores in the country. My spending on coffee during those days would rival Imelda Marcos' shoe budget. I recall one particular incident, on a Monday morning no less, the line was snaking its way around the better part of the lobby. I resisted my urge to pull the fire alarm and make a dash for the counter. I head upstairs completely crushed, defeated, to my first client of the day. There sits the daughter of one of our most important clients on her third DUI in as many years......my response to her pathetic "what am I going to do..." I snort.. " Well, I guess you're fucked aren't ya" from that day on my paralegal had a large Caramel Machiado wating for me ......I think she was an angel.
Your wife is a wise, wise woman.
You are one brave soul.
I don't drink pop only because I don't like it, and because it can strip the paint off metal. So I'm giving you this assvice from the perspective of a non-addict.. take it for what it's worth - try club soda cut half and half with cranberry juice, or any juice for that matter. It tricks your mouth with that refreshing fizz, but without the 29 teaspoons (or thereabouts) of badness.
Now all you need to do to find me guilty, though, is write a post about beer. I swear, at least half of my suppertime calories are liquid.
Hey! Imagine all the beer you could buy with the money you'll save. There you go. If that's not a silver lining I don't know what is.
I gave up my Diet Coke (which also happens to be the only form of caffeine I consume) when I was pregnant. I made it 18 months.
Then I ordered it for lunch one day. I thought I was okay. I thought I could just dabble and be responsible. No such luck. Within days I was spending all my diaper money on cases, stashing them strategically around my home and office. Damn you aspartame!
I'm in medical school--and medical school students are famously addicted to Diet Coke. I like to watch my classmates pound it at 8 AM, dying to stay awake and losing the inevitable battle.
I, myself, tapered off to one diet soda a day two years ago, and have recently given up caffeine, so the trunk of my car is filled with cases of caffeine-free Diet Dr Pepper, which they stock where my parents live [but not here]. Sometimes, though, when I'm visiting family or my boyfriend, I'll let myself drink more than one in a day, and suddenly the case in gone in three-four days.
Good luck with the detox. 
Try black or green tea, hot, it has a lot of caffeine, and lots of good things for you. It's one of Dr. Oz's must have everyday, at least 4 cups a day. It's what gets me through my day w/two crazy boys and a 10 1/2 hour work day.
mmmm faygo. i need to go to meijer's
I gave up caffeine a little over two years ago (figured out it was causing my migraines) and it was ROUGH. Now, I drink flavored seltzer water (usually grocery store brand) all the time. It's fizzy, a little sweet, comes in those familiar cans and has no calories or weird sweeteners. When I come to northern Kentucky to visit my family, both of my parents (divorced) make a big deal of telling me how they hunted all over for seltzer water and my dad always makes sure to tell me how the people at The Party Source - where he goes specially to get it - are always slack-jawed that someone would drink that stuff by itself.
Good luck, Jim.
Is it coffee then? Or caffeine mints?
Will. Never. Give. Up. Caffeine.
I'm the same way, only I like my Coke straight up: no diet, no artificial sweetener. Try it. You'll like it.
I worked at an office in NYC and they had free pop as a benefit. I always say I was the Forrest Gump of the place. (The scene at the White House) I would drink 2 or 3 Cokes a day. Now, I may have 1 diet Dr. Pepper a month.
Faygo...I loved Moonshine, Rock N Rye. The classics of the Midwest.
I also love saying "pop" instead of soda. You can confuse any bodega owner in NYC by saying, "Do you have any pop?" I had one owner refuse to acknowledge my request until I said SODA at the top of my lungs.
ohhh, aspartame gives me a raging headache (+ reading comments about aspartame). And coke always makes my teeth feel weird, like chalk - why is that? Good luck with the detox. San Pelegrino is the best sparkling water (but it's no soda. Good with lime juice though... as is coke).
As I started to read this post (at my desk at work), the very mention of Diet Coke was too much to resist. I popped one right open. Hey, it's Diet Coke Plus. Plus vitamins. It negates the aspartame.
I was once a diet coke addict. 3-6 cans a day. I used to drink it at breakfast...
I down-graded to diet gingerale in 2000 and then to club soda in 2003. Now its just water - plain cheap tap water and tea for caffiene. It took me eight years to give up pop fully. God knows what I would if I was addicted to something really addictive...
yeah, yeah, yeah...where are all the baby pictures?
not that I am not sympathetic, but what about my fix? at least email me a few would you?
I? must be insane. Because I have this same habit, but I drink caffine free coke. Red and gold can, only available in 2 liters or 12 packs. And I can kill a 12 pack in a day, easy.
OMG. Why would you give up soda? I'm so addicted to diet Dr. Pepper that I drink it even without the caffeine. How sad is that?
Holy shit, I just read some of the Rumsfeld/Aspartame stuff. Wow is that ever scary. Knew it was bad for you, but doubly infuriating that he is connected with it.
I also work in an office with a constant supply of free diet coke. I decided to go cold turkey about three weeks ago. (At the same time, I tried to give up sugar, but I failed that.) The DC ban I'm sticking with though, although my productivity is definitely impacted by the amount of time I spend thinking about not drinking diet coke! I also use crystal geyser seltzer as a crutch for now - although of course I have to buy that myself. Good luck!
Growing up in the 60s we always had iced tea with saccharine. Hated the stuff. I stf, so I learned to drink plain old Lipton's straight up. I still can't drink my coffee straight so I limit myself to one yellow pack a day, split over two large cups of coffee.
Good luck with your withdrawal.
You can do it. My husband did it a year ago and he feels great. I can't blame her for wanting to keep you around with the 2 kids. Wait till they start dating.
I became addicted to diet coke while working at a gas station in high school and haven't looked back. Nowadays, I have a 64oz mug of it that I drink at least two of every day and I've become kind of a connoisseur. I can even tell when someone's mix is off on the fountain dispenser...not that I should go around telling people that..
This will bolster your resolve:
http://myaspartameexperiment.com...t.com/
index.php
i went off the diet dr pepper two months ago. i miss my d.d.p. but i think my appetite is more even-keeled now that i don't drink it and my mystery stomach pain has decreased as well. i rely on coffee and iced tea so i am also still on the caffeine train. damn you aspartame- you are a wicked temptress.
I feel your pain.
I'm a real Coke kind of girl, I just can't handle the diet stuff. I prefer the can, too, it's just better in so many ways (except of course the glass bottled Coke, that's just...oh). Many times I've thought that it was the carbonation burn that I really crave - and when I did Coke Zero for a diet thing for awhile, if I drank it really fast, it hit the spot.
Good luck on your road to soda sobriety.
I have no children, yet, it takes me 2 cups of coffee to be fully present at work. Add this to the fact that my boyfriend is a bloodhound for aspartame and refuses to have it in the house. Yikes!
Oh wow, best of luck. I do find that having given up real Coke (and never getting addcited to Diet, due to aspartame-headaches and a hatred for the taste of any no-cal sweetener, including Stevia), I don't really like sweet beverages anymore. Now I find ultra-dark French-pressed iced coffee with no milk or sugar the single best cold caffeinated beverage - and no cals to boot.
If you want to learn the whole aspartame conspiracy theory, there's a documentary called "Sweet Misery: A Poisoned World" which is extremely low-budget but highly educational as to Donald Rumsfeld's career at Searle circa 1979 (or whatever it was he was doing in between 'Nam and Iraq).
Ok, boring suggestion but switch to tea. Hot or iced.
I had a brief fling with Vanilla Diet Coke but I got hooked on tea early and I think it saved me from what you are going through.
If you need flavor, then try Chai. If you want to go scary corporate, then you can always drink Tazo Chai.
Good luck. My thrift store used to be called Value Village and Value Village was more like crack to me then coke ever was.
Firstly, good luck. It's worth it.
Secondly, what pisses me off the most is that you can't buy non-artificially sweetened medicines for kids these days. All the syrups/elixirs/mixtures proudly proclaim "sugar free" like it's a good thing that they won't use a little sugar, but pump it full of carcinogenic chemicals instead.
Sorry to digress.
de-lurking to tell you that I'm caffeine free and it wasn't easy at first. But It's worth it.
Watch out for the caffeine withdrawal headaches. I recommend Tylenol Extra Strength because Excedrin has caffeine in it!
It's also easier if you find a replacement drink that you love, with no caffeine. Good luck!
I could never do this. Diet cola is what kept me from taking so much as a sip of beer at one of the nation's biggest party schools until two weeks after I turned 21.
It started in high school, when I realized that babysitting money translated to cases I could stow in my locker and avoid the $1 20-ounce bottles that were all a late-activities student might depend upon to live until Mom or Dad came to get one's Drama-clubbing ass. Then Wal-Mart moved into my town and reduced the average cost of said cases to $2. My consumption increased until it was comparable to that of Nicole Kidman in 'Moulin Rouge.' I needed at least three cans of carbonated goodness in my backpack to make it through each day, four if I had anything after class. I took on the afterschool caregiving duty of Maria von Trapp, just to support my habit -actually pooling four Moms' worth of kids into one squadron and watching them at each house in sequence. It was thus, however, that I never had the spare cash, time or inclination to get into anything besides theater and corrupting the young with bad fanfiction while a high-schooler.
Then I went off to college in West Virginia, where the relatively depressed economy that occurs when what was once essentially a big foresty dirt farm on top of a coal-mine transforms itself into the leading exporter of cutesy pseudo-Appalachian crafts makes for accordingly depressed prices. Store-brand cola was $1.68 the twelve-pack my freshman year, and the increasing price of brand-name over four years still hasn't nudged the cheap stuff above $2.20. Add to that the fact that in hard-boozing college towns, the Designated One's refillable Coke is free at all bar-like establishments, and I had all the gluttony I could get. Beer would have cut into my four-can-a-day habit, so I became a Dean's List student, an RA and a general offense to everyone whose mother compares them to other kids. It was only upon the discovery that rum can be mixed with Diet Coke that I approached anything close to normalcy where social drinking was concerned -yet I've still never consumed more than two drinks in a public place, never been drunk among friends or strangers and otherwise failed to make a git of myself with alcohol.
Not that I'd suggest giving Juniper the stuff. Whoa, no.
Of course, there are those who hold out that the sole reason my now-fiance taught me to drive and restored a pickup truck to be my first vehicle was an attempt to get cans to the recycling plant -but wagging tongues may talk.
I'm trying to cut it down to three cans a day, but it's difficult. I shall be led by your example, though, and with the help of good friends and bad iced tea, I may yet overcome this shameful addiction.
Or not. Those Arizona Green Teas are sixty-nine cents each at Aldi, though, so maybe I'll just head for methadone.
jannie, I am breathless after reading your comment. I feel like you must be kin.
I went off caffeine over a decade ago, maybe even 15 years. That involved quitting my favorite drink in the whole wide world, I nice frosty fountain coke over crushed ice. Your description of opening that late night 2 liter has made me crave one harder than I have in, honestly, years. Boy do I miss it. But going off caffeine was so stupidly painful and awful that I'm not willing to go back and do it again.
Sigh.
I've been off the D.C. for EIGHT years! I used to be a six pack (or more) a day-er. Now, I am mostly soda free, although certain meals (burger and fries, pizza) call for a Coke. And most certainly, regular is bad for the body too, but nowhere near as cancerous as Diet.
I'm not too clear on any memories of stopping diet coke being a horrible withdrawal, but then again, I had only a month or so prior ditched a real coke habit. My experience may be slightly different because of that! Diet coke is addictive, but not quite as addictive as the other "diet" coke.
Anyway, stop drinking that nasty ass chemical brew! I've had one here and there since, and truly, you can taste the poison. Stick with beer, wine, water, san pelligrino (et al), juices, milk, tea, and coffee.
Okey-Doke! A comment. For my top 5 favorite blog ever!
I had to google "Donald Rumsfeld", no idea who the guy is. There are more countries in this world than the US, and they are doing their own research.
I simply feel that as long as there is absolutely NO academic evidence about a connection between aspartame and human diseases, there's no need to worry about food/drinks that have been on the market for more than 25 years.
@ HollyRhea: We are not rats. Well, anyway, I'm not.
My Diet Coke addiction reached a peak when I worked for a company that also rigged the soda machine to give us all free soda. This was a company of techies, and DC was in such demand that they had to give it two slots in the machine. (Who needs that Sprite shit anyway, right?)
Good luck to you. I've been cutting back on diet soda also, replacing it with iced tea. It's been fun experimenting with different tea flavor combinations. Right now I like brewing it with one green tea bag, one black tea bag, and one spiced chai bag. I'm slowly cutting back the sugar with each pot so I can cut back on the calories.
To go so forward into the world of pre-schooler, infant, and no diet coke... you are brave, brave man. Your wife is a saint.
Love you all!
Off topic - but check out the music by the Avett Brothers. It's called grunge-grass... sounds horrible, but really fabulously awesome. "The Ballad of Love and Hate" made me think about your random Dean Martin lullabies.
Ever tried Yerba Mate? It gives just the right amount of kick but doesn't keep you up when it is time to go to bed. I've been a big fan of the stuff ever since my husband brought me some back from Chile. CachaMate is the best. It especially good with a dash of maple syrup.
I gave up Diet Dr. Pepper for good last year. Sometimes I miss it.
Wow, I've been completely hooked on the diet crack for years now, but that Rumsfeld thing (and your brave example) made me quit cold turkey this weekend. I usually try to cut back every couple of months but my intake always increases right back up the second I get busy or stressed. This weekend I've been fighting off the withdrawal with lots of black tea, sparkling juice, and ibuprofen. Thanks for this hilarious, informative, and inspirational post.
Isn't Faygo the official beverage of the Insane Clown Posse? I would have never figured you for a juggalo.
I've spent that past 30 years drinking diet soda. I started drinking Tab back in the 70's and then moved on to Diet Pepsi in the 80's. That continued to be my drink of choice. I consumed at least one (and some days two) two-liter bottle(s) a day. One day last November I woke up and said, "I've had enough". I haven't had a drop since. I have no idea how I did it. I think it's all about being ready. It took me 30 years, but I was finally ready. You may have a couple of decades left in you.
Sacagawea didn't have Diet Coke.
Sorry, my own pregnancy-induced caffeine withdrawal is leaving me feisty.
i went off soda for an entire year for a new years resolution. it was super freaking hard. especially b/c i'm addcited to coke. the beverage i mean.
you know what helped? and sounds incredibly stupid? sniffing it. the beverage i mean! seriously though. just getting a whiff of the soda helped.
to a certain degree.
i really am truly not a druggie.
Oh it's about artificially flavored drinks? I thought you were getting a vasectomy???
I read about the Rumsfeld/Aspartame connection 5 years ago and haven't had anything with artificial sweetener in it since. And I lost 40 lbs.
That crap really does make you crave sugar...
My vice now? UNsweetened ice tea. I drink probably 3 quarts a day.
Yeah, that last bit is the reason I drink water almost exclusively, especially when we are dining out....I'm cheap!
Amen for Wood! She just saved your life!
(Time will prove this.)
I agree with Cherry above decrying "sugar free" kids medicine.
It's sad that this really makes me want a real, ice-cold pop. It's also sad (and says a lot) that one man can make so many people break addictions just to spite him.
By any chance, did Dick Cheney force approval of mozzarella cheese or cupcakes in the '80s?
Don't know if it's any better than aspartame, but Diet Coke also has a variant sweetened with Splenda.
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