Those are awesome pics! I've never liked roller coasters, either.. Iris loved the 'tame' rides she went on at the fair last year- this year we'll step up to the roller coaster and ferris wheel. I'll let you know how that goes..
Hahahahahahahaha!!! Love the faces, that's great!
If you need someone to help hold purses and split some cotton candy, I'm your man.
I fucking hate rollercoasters.
HA! I like how the girl in front of her is only mildly entertained--and there Juniper is, white-knuckled.
Okay,I can understand the hating rollercoasters thing. I do, too. But come on, man. You're afraid of the tilt-a-whirl? The thrill machine of the 1920s? I thought that thing was designed to allow people to cop a feel more than anything.
this story was priceless. too funny.
Laughing until tears come down my face. Watch out, Gram will be your roller coaster rider.
Hilarious.
Juniper's face in that last picture is exactly how I pictured your face on the Magnum.
I hate roller coasters too.
Oh man...I went to Cedar Point for our 8th grade trip, too. And I think I also spent the whole time hoping beyond hope that the boy I liked would pay any kind of attention to me. *sigh* Thanks for the memory. 
Of course, I love the Iron Dragon, but have never ridden the Magnum as I am a lily-liver chicken.
Kennywood. Kiddieland. Several rides with no thrill at all.
I feel sort of guilty laughing at Juniper's pain. I'll get over it, I'm sure.
What's wrong with that girl? She looks like she's constipated!
Still cute, though-- she reminds me of my son there, except he'd be more focused on clenching his jaw and widening his eyes than making that sour face or screaming. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
oh jeesh! I'm sorry, but I'm laughing. Those are some great faces.
Oh holy crap, is this funny. Did every kid in Michigan take the fun-filled 8th grade trip to the Pointe? It's like you've taken a page out of my junior high journal, right down to the constipated look on the Magnum. But you failed to mention whether you were wearing Umbro's or Girbeaud jean shorts.
Oh a Cedar Point reference, I love it. Great story, well told.
Hysterical! I love her face in that first one, especially when you can see the calm grin of the girl in front of her.
In 7th grade I succeeded in the quest to ride the Magnum 50 times during the summer. I fucking love roller coasters!
I feel old. The Gemini was the big thing when I was in 8th grade. Actually I think the Corkscrew was the newest ride. Or the Demon Drop. It's all coming back...
"ichthyological"
Great word.
Oh, how awesome. Poor Juniper.
I am sorry but I cannot keep from laughing. I broke a rib on a state fair ride once because I was crushed by the other two people in the car who were having a great time...so, I stay on solid ground these days, too.
Thanks for sharing!
I'm dying right now. BWAH! Look at that GRIP! (So funny to juxtapose her face with the big grin on the girl in front of her. God. I'm a big meanie.)
My 13 yr old boy still won't be dragged onto anything with a hill, peer pressure be damned. He's all, "No really. I'm good." My 7 yr old prefers coasters where you catch significant air. (Shudder) My 3 yr old girl is standing right here looking at these pictures, asking what the ride is called, and when can we go on it, is NOW the time? How about NOW?
You never know, until you find out. Hee!
Aw she still looks so cute despite the desperation! I feel her pain, I HATE rollercoasters!
Haha! So cute. Those photos are pretty much exactly how I feel on the inside when I'm at an amusement park.
I did ride the Magnum once, though, and almost lost control of my bowels.
I think I might have peed myself from laughing...
I'll delurk and say that I've been enjoying your archives - lots of what you've talked about I totally know (Russ'-I'm also dutch and various Detroit references) since husband and I moved from metro D (Redford) last summer into the Grand Rapids/Holland area. I've been following the Kwame drama (ass) and the radio station switcheroos.
Anyway, thanks for the entertainment!
I *hated* roller coasters when I was little. My little sister always wanted to ride them and was too short, so my dad made me do it because he loved them. I screamed and cried the whole way. Sometime around my teenage years, I grew to love them, though they still make me a little queasy sometimes.
I hope I haven't scarred Petunia because when we were in Disney World three weeks ago, we all rode the Tower of Terror as a family. We did buy the photo of all of us free-falling thirteen stories: Basil laughing, Petunia staring blankly and slumped in her chair, me laughing and hanging on to the side for dear life. I hope it didn't traumatize her too much. I want her to ride Expedition Everest with me the next time we go.
Poor Juney. Such cute pictures, though.
I love coasters but Tilt a Whirls make me puke. Maybe she'd prefer a bigger coaster 
This is one time when I really am LOL. Great pics of her on the coaster! The Iron Dragon was one of my first roller coasters, too. (Can't remember if I rode that first, or the Beast at King's Island.)
I like the Magnum, although it is far less scary than some of their new coasters. I'm one of those coaster lovers, although when I was a kid I was scared of them and probably looked a lot like that, too.
Did you have to go back to CP for high school physics? That trip was a rite of passage for most teenagers from northeast Ohio as well as many from Michigan. At the time (1991) the Magnum was the hot shit as far as coasters went. The place didn't have half of the stuff it does now.
Sadly, I realized something had happened to my former self when I became massively sick to my stomach after one ride on that multi-armed "spider" ride. I still love roller coasters but as for stuff that goes in circles, no way.
Oh, the poor little sweetpea! And yet, I can't stop laughing at that second photo.
I think the Magnum was the last roller coaster I ever rode. It was terrifying. I didn't stop to see the picture.
The pursed lips, the clenched fingers... I'm laughing and my heart is breaking, all at the same time. Great buildup to the photos, too. Hopefully other rides will be more to her liking!
I'm new to your blog and was compelled to comment after that post! I loved it! The story and photos were priceless!
Is it wrong that I think Juniper still looks cute, even when she's terrified?
Keep up the great work!
that looks a lot like a ride i once tried at "kentucky kingdom" as a child...immediately afterwards, i left my partially-digested hotdog on the waiting ramp and some ride boarders' shoes. at least your experiences left no victims!
Poor Juniper! Atleast you'll have a buddy that stays on the ground with you from now on. I love coasters! The bigger, the better!
Oh my GOD that is awesome.
But I bet everytime you look at that photo you get a pit in your stomach worrying about how you're going to get her off of there!
After reading your blog for a few months, I am finally delurking to tell you that this post made me laugh right out loud.
Also, I almost feel bad now for buying the photo of my mother's husband (2 copies, actually) screaming his head off in fear and panic on the Millennium Force at CP a few years back. So thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Well, almost. Heh.
Great blog -- love your writing and your stories and your photos of the D.
Too funny! I was scared of roller coasters growing up and would have nightmares about being the one kid in the world not wanting to go on one at cedar point and the other kids pointing and laughing at me! But I came to like roller coasters, who knew?
Did Juniper last the whole ride? My girl looked like Juniper too on the same/similar 3 mph roller coaster. We waited three rotations to see if she might settle into it before asking the operator to stop the ride. I wish I had taken pictures too - not only for my toddler's facial expression, but the concerned kids' faces sitting just behind her. Our girl is a brave ferris wheel rider though!
i absolutely love that last picture. great story, perfect pictures.
Cedar Point... wow... I feel like I'm living a horrid, early teen, flashback moment from the movie National Lampoon will likely make about my life story. My youth pastor literally drug me on the cork-screw because he said I wasn't involved enough. I never said much in church but on that ride, with him next to me, every other word was muthaf*#ck this, and muthaf%#ck that... I totally channeled Jay (of Jay and Silent Bob fame). Needless to say I wasn't asked back to youth group. Oh well, Fudge It!
The pics are great... 6 year old my step-daughter rode her first coaster last week and the feeling looks to be mutual.
Oh goodness that's exactly the way I feel on rollercoasters too. Scared to death.
Oh and the tilt a whirl is EVIL. My brother and sister and I all three got on one car at the town fair one year. My sister and I didn't realize my brother had eaten an entire bag of Doritos until it was too late. I will never be able to ride one again.
You started her out on the back car! My sister ruined her roller coaster experiences this way by sitting on the last car of the Cyclone in Coney Island. Poor Juniper. I feel a little bad laughing so hard...
Poor, sweet baby girl!
It might make me the meanest lady in the world but that is the best picture ever.
Those pictures are priceless!
oh, the poor baby! i feel so bad for her, and yet i can't stop laughing! i'm the same way, i like my lunch to stay IN my belly, thank you.
Oh, the poor little dear, tell her she's very brave to go on such a wild ride
Oh, man. Thanks so much for the memories of Cedar Pointe. I'm so glad you guest-wrote on dooce so I can find your great blog--you're reconnecting me to the joys of living in Detroit.
So yeah, those photos are priceless. I imagine you showing those as part of a Juney montage at her wedding one day.
Oh, my goodness! I'm laughing harder every time I look at those pictures.
my very small kids are total thrill seekers and love the thrill of being spun around, falling down dizzy, doing everything fast. i fear they will be very interest in drugs. seriously.
I have one just like Juney. And I can get motion sick just sitting in the back seat of a car. I once puked half a bag of popcorn, a grape icee, and a cotton candy after getting on that silly silo barn thing that spins in circles and drops the floor out from under you, where you're plastered to the walls by centrifugal force. Um, yeah, I'll hold Wood's purse with ya dude. And my daughter will be happy to stand there and entertain Juney.
Oh bless her heart, that was so ME when I was her age. I cringe at the words Tilt-o-Wirl. Holy smokes those are cute shots, guys!
I rode the Magnum once. I cried. I was 32.
Last year, my sister got me to ride the Raging Bull at Six Flags. I screamed so loud and hard that she seriously was afraid I was going to leave this world. I looked at her staring at me and started laughing so hard I peed my pants. Fun times. I should have learned my lesson the first time, when I was 9 and she was 8 and our parents made us ride the Rock n Roll ride at the carnival (which was basically us getting strapped into a tin can and rolling as we went around in circles). The harder I cried, the faster she would get that cylinder of death rolling.
so...thanks for the stroll down memory lane... =)
Ah yes, the 8th grade field trip to the CP. I got my first real kiss on some chessey pirate ship/tunnel of love type ride. Classy, no?
I also went back for the high school pyhsics class AND senior skip day after prom.
The best though was our church youth group trips where we got to spend one day at Cedar Point and the other at Sea World nearby. A Sea world in Ohio was something I never really could wrap my head around.
Thanks for the memories!
The carney with the cigarette hanging: happened to me when I took my little neice to a street carnival. Was sure those ashes would drop right on her dear little head. Never told my sister- she would have freaked.
HaHa. Pics are so cute. The first time I took my son on a roller coaster (Blackpool UK) - all was going well until I noticed, just as we were heading down, that he was resting his mouth on the safety bar - you can guess the rest!
The second time I managed to convince him to ride he screamed how much he hated me all the way round. The other passengers were in hysterics and I have to admit that I was too!
Oh sweet girl. I hope she has recovered from her terrifying event.
last night she made us walk down to the riverfront again so she could "watch the dragon, but not ride on it."
Poor girl looks terrified, but it makes great pics.
I loved roller coasters when I was younger, but it's been years since I've been on one. I'm not sure I would like it anymore. I don't even like to drive fast these days.
Cedar Point, how I do love thee. My 8th grade class took a trip there too. This was before the Magnum when the Demon Drop was new. There was a crazy lady behind us in line who swore up and down one of the cars from the Demon Drop had flown right off the track and plunged into Lake Erie killing all aboard.
The reason I had a child was so I can some day go back and not have to share my car with a stranger. My husband is of the purse-holding variety like yourself. So far she's proven to be quite the daredevil.
Never in the history of time has sheer terror been so adorable.
Awesome... you can watch the kiddos while I steal your wife for some roller coaster riding.
Not that I'm the wife-stealing type.
haha. She looks just like I must have as a kid on those rides. My parents had to stop a ride I was on once at that age because I was screaming and crying in TERROR. Now I like a roller coaster on occasion but it's still pretty terrifying. I pretend that fear is an adrenaline rush and get through it.
Hahaha aw poor Junie.
At least she wasnt so scarred that she never wanted to see it again.
I wonder if Gram will be a fearless little hellraiser or they'll be alike.
My first roller coaster experience was at Cedar Point, too. It was the Gemini, and I was 5. And terrified. I cried the whole time but afterward, my uncle bought me a button that said "I rode it! The GEMINI" and I proudly wore it the rest of the day. In fact, I still have that button. I'm 35. I still hate roller coasters.
awwwww. those pics make me laugh. is that bad? the second one is tooooo cute. what a sweetheart
Oh my god, these are the greatest pictures ever! Love it, love it, LOVE IT! She is truly one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. Thanks for sharing.
Shaking. With. Laughter.
And second-guessing my plan to put the 2-yr-old on her first merry-go-round this summer.
Huh.
I seriously love roller coasters (I'm fond of the wooden variety myself) but I still sometimes make that same face. I know from those stupid cameras...
Fabulous pictures! Came over after your guest post on Dooce. Love ya'll's stuff! Your posts have run the gamut of emotions for me. Wonderful!
Poor thing, she looks so terrified I don't think I could have watched that.
Oh, sweetheart!! (Uh, Juniper.)
I used to LOVE rollercoasters and flying in planes. Then it seems, along with my daughter, I delivered a mortal fear of anything resulting in raised adrenaline.
The problem is now my daughter LOVES them. Photos of a mother hanging on in blind panic to her maniacally-grinning 3yo are pretty embarrassing.
those faces are priceless. Thought I have to admit, I rode a tiny dragon roller coaster with my daughter at a fair last year. Luckily, the smell of the carnie operating the ride wasn't enough to knock me out, but I nearly puked from being jerked around by it.
I probably looked like Juniper when I go down the slide at her age. My daughter is the complete opposite.
Came to visit your site after reading Dutch's guest post at dooce. Loved it. I'll be back for more.
OMG, I feel terrible for laughing my ass off at poor Juniper's expense. I love rollercoasters, but I rode the Magnum on MY 8th grade class trip (I kid you not) and it's the only one in my life that has ever made me want to puke.
Bossy can't help but think it's an IQ test.
Ha, these pictures are priceless. I remember going to Cedar Point when I was just a few years older than her, and I'm sure my facial expressions weren't too different.
Oh...I love that little face. I have a few pix of my kids I consider my favorites...and a thousand I missed by forgetting the camera. Good for you for catching this one!
I need to do a best pictures post on my blog...thanks for the inspiration.
I used to adore roller coasters and would go again and again. Another side effect of getting older, I cannot tolerate coasters at all, Juniper's face is exactly how I feel too.
I am so glad that dooce had you write a sub-post on her site. I am so happy to have found you!
Looovvved your men's bathroom essay. Thanks for the laughs. xx
I live in Dallas - Fort Worth area and NEVER EVER go to Six Flags. I absolutely won't get on any roller coasters, never have, never will. Of course I dont' have kids.... so they never had to beg me to ride with them. My last trip to Six Flags was for my 30th birthday almost 20 years ago. I rode the kiddy rides like Mine Train and other low key attractions. But you save lots of money if you just say no.
HAHAHA! Your blog is one of the only ones that makes me laugh out loud. I love it!
I imagine that this post captures one of the true pleasures of fatherhood: finding out that your beautiful children really are kindred souls with you.
Fellow former Michiganian can TOTALLY relate!
http://shakenfruit.blogspot.com/...s-
metaphor.html
we went to cedar point for my senior class trip too. 1992.
love those photos.
m
I know that you have many, many loyal readers who comment on your blog. I am more of a lurker here I guess. I just wanted to say how wonderful your writing is. I am sure you get that a lot. Really though- just a wonderfully heartfelt, well written, entertaining blog.
One of my absolute favorite reads.
I see her white knuckles. Remember when life was ...well.. . bigger than life?
The stadium pics are stunning. You couldn't design a better backdrop than that faded blue wall. I was recently in Detroit and I'm really sorry we didn't stop to pay our respects.
I laughed out load at my desk at work.
I love roller coasters, if only I was married to a purse and baby holder! We were just discussing planning a family reunion at Cedar Point. For now I have to be content with riding the gemini/blue streak ride at our local chuck e cheese.
I still have memories of shaking after my first ride on the Iron Dragon, and my dad's guilty face, thinking he'd scarred me for life. Heh.
I love it! The face is priceless. That is me now on anything other than the merry-go-round.
Talk about a picture speaking a thousand words. I am so curious what she said after the ride.
Really, really funny.
that was a heck cute post! But i lovee scary rides!
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