Juney truly is a smart little girl. I'll be here reading in twenty years to see where life leads her. I'm sure it will be somewhere great.
V.
So beautiful.
I think the vulnerablity of our hearts is what makes them strong. If we don't put them out there, outside our own selves, they don't have the opportunity to grow stronger, love harder.
You're a great dad, Dutch.
Just beautiful. Painful, but beautiful.
It's hard to think of our children as mortal creatures, potentially subject to the same pain we've faced, isn't it?
When Charlotte was brand new, I remember whispering in her ear a little prayer, or command: "Live forever. Or at least longer than me."
juney sees you living with *intent.* it doesn't get better than that. i think she lives her two year old life with all the focus that a toddler can bring to it. (i always think of her as older.) thank you for sharing the ride with all of us, it's very, very precious.
Oh Man! This made me get all puddley-eyed! Very beautiful and well written.
It's really kind of spooky how profound our kids simple questions and observations can be.
Lovely post.
Your killing me. This is about the fourth post from you that brought me to tears at work. So touching.
I cried. Looks like mi corazon still works just fine. Thank you.
Such a beautiful post, and I think your answer to "Does Wendell have a heart?" was perfect, too.
But: bugs have hearts, though they're not quite the same as ours, and their blood flows openly in the body, bathing the tissues. But not all animals (or plants or other living things) have hearts or ciculatory systems. (Forgive me; I teach biology.)
Darn you, Dutch! Darn you and your touching and truthful prose! (Shaking fist toward the laptop screen...)
You break my heart, man, putting into words these thoughts I tiptoe around, that I can't help but feel but dare not think too long on, lest my heart collapse in on itself and sobs catch in my throat, like they are right now. (at work! Have to stop reading at work!)
Thank you for the part about the representation of vulnerability, because that to me is the most shocking part of being a parent (or truly loving anyone, for that matter) - my, but the potential for pain in staggering. But the potential for joy pushes us on.
The love I feel for my son is fierce and frightening and I have never felt more brave or more afraid. I've acknowledged that to myself a lot while reading sweet/salty that you turned me on to.
Rambling now. Thanks for the words.
amazing. makes *my* heart hurt.
I never thought that a paragraph including the words "seventeenth-century ascetic artists" would choke me up.
Gosh, that's a great entry.
WOW
You're one of the best writers I have ever read. Truly.
Ann said what I was going to say: Wow.
wounds heal and the skin is tougher afterwards
I can picture Dutch writing this, having to pause every few moments to blow his nose and wipe away tears, barely making it to the end without a full-blown meltdown. You remind me so much of my own father, dutch, who was sentimental about my childhood even back in its lived moment, in ways that made me acutely self-conscious of it (in a good way). The family joke is my dad's slightly sappy nostalgia, which makes us all love him that much more, my dad who wears his heart utterly exposed and full of us.
Actually.....the most important thing to do is make sure your heart keeps beating.
(Ok, ok, I just couldn't resist saying that. I'll shut up and go away now...)
Really lovely. My daughter is named Cora and we love how it reminds us of el corazon.
Amazing all that can be felt and written about the heart. Thanks for your personal thoughts on how you hope to handle the inevitable heartbreaks Juniper will encounter - Though premature, I have the same anxieties regarding my 22-month old and hope to be able to convey the same loving message to her when it becomes needed.
lovely post. Juni sure is one lucky girl to have a dad like you.
wonderful post. touching and thought provoking. here is something for juniper...
Only mouths are we. Who sings the distant heart
which safely exists in the center of all things?
His giant heartbeat is diverted in us
into little pulses. And his giant grief
is, like his giant jubilation, far too
great for us. And so we tear ourselves away
from him time after time, remaining only
mouths. But unexpectedly and secretly
the giant heartbeat enters our being,
so that we scream ----,
and are transformed in being and in countenance
-Rilke
I really worry about passing on my prejudices and fears to Petunia. It takes every fiber of my being not to freak out at the needles when Petunia gets a shot. You did a good thing by letting Juney watch those movies (okay, maybe not the Heart video) without freaking out yourself.
Lovely, lovely post. (Sob.)
Hm, maybe Juney is going to be a surgeon when she grows up?
Perhaps you should buy her "Operation" when she is old enough. 
All joking aside, this is a really beautifully written post.
So beautiful. Stunning in the simple humanity. I'm a new reader, but I'm definitely hooked now.
I've been reading (and admiring) for a few months now, and this post is especially beautiful. I look forward to reading your upcoming novel, too. Thanks for sharing your extraordinary family with us!
This made me cry, no weep. I miss Two. I see Eight right down the street, and Sixteen is already tearing my heart out.
This was beautiful.
That was so beautiful I feel a little teary now. My son has aortic valve stenosis, so we go to a cardiologist and take pictures of his heart once a year, and he's fascinated for that one day, but beyond that no interest in hearts. Brains, yes, and zombies eating brains, and bones and skeletons, but not hearts. I wonder why it catches Juniper's interest so fully? The cards are equally gorgeous, and the game that goes with them a lot of fun. I want a deck!
How beautiful. And why I appreciate the parenting part of this, the paragraph about Wood and you breaking up...that got me. My hubby has to go away often for work, and I've felt a similar pain. I've had bad dreams of him leaving, and I've felt that pain. And while it hurts, that pain is what tells me that it's real. Thanks for sharing, and reminding me.
Speaking of El Corazon, this video made the rounds of my med school class a few months back. I think Juniper might enjoy it.
this is why i read your blogs.... so eloquent, so true.
nice one.
got me all puddley eyed too.
makes me miss my dad.
and hope my son sees life the same way he did an tried to teach me to.
How beautiful...and how lucky she is to have such a wonderful father.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
The first time I had my heart broken, I was inconsolable for a month. Both then and now, it seems to me that there was a beautiful ache about that pain. I remember thinking that the pain that I felt was proof that my heart could love so very much.
I think I know the exact hill in the Arb you describe. I no longer live in Ann Arbor, but the Arb is heaven on earth. Everytime I return for a visit, I have to go there. I am looking forward to taking my baby girl this fall. Juney is such a lucky girl. I really enjoy reading your blog.
I visited your site for the first time today. This post is so touching. As a daughter who has never known her father I think it's even more so. I also love the hipster baby posts. I had been trying to come up with ways to make t-shirts for my boys, involving paint and sponges or stamps...the transfers would be much easier!
You certainly have a way with words. This post is amazing.
I realize I'm incredibly late to the game, but wanted to tell you anyway that I loved this post. Loved it.
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