Maybe you are pregnant. That makes us really emotional.
Just wait until the junk-food cravings kick in, Dutch. PMS is a bitch. 
People always tell me that I'll "grow into" Ava's leaving and be ready when it's time. That seems pretty hard to believe when I'm standing in her room at night, watching her sleep and gazing at the same sweet, tilting nose I first saw on our ultrasound picture.
How did our parents ever learn to let us go?
Definitely hormones. Have some ice cream; it'll make you feel better.
That's it. Now I'm convinced you are sitting there in layers of Babylegs.
speaking of total crap how was 300? i seem to remember the new york times calling it "stupid".
Don't worry, you'll become a raving bitch in the next ten minutes, yelling at Wood and Juniper how you are wasting the best years of your life picking up toys and folding laundry. Then Aunt Flo will make her visit and you will be fine, but everyone will cower for 48 hours just in case you aren't over it.
Have you been borrowing Logan Summers' iPod or something?
I used to run a storytime at starbucks, and every week a parent or two would be crying! Don't worry, it's not you, it's just that some of those books are pertinent and touching =)
That's nothin'.
Since becoming a mom, I now cry every time I accidentally stumble across a cheerleading competition on ESPN. Because I'm just so darn proud of those hardworking kids! Look how excited they now that all those long hours of practice are finally paying off! Awwwww!
Bleargh. And I always HATED cheerleaders.
Oh God. I left out a verb. That is going to drive me completely barking mad.
That book was featured on NPR recently. I bought it and crumbled. Of course, my baby was about to turn 1, and I have a uterus. So for me, it's okay.
It's a beautiful book. I just gave my mom and sister a copy.
I don't know about crying over them, but the various pigeon books by Mo Willems are pretty awesome, and they're somewhat recent. I especially like the tantrum the pigeon throws in the middle of "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus."
Thank you for this, it made my day. You are f-ing hilarious.
That sounds like a book that would make most parents emotional. It's not like you were reading Kipper and bawling your eyes out. For a funny read try Lauren Child's books. I haven't cried yet reading "That Pesky Rat" or "Beware of the Story Book Wolves." Avoid reading "Love You Forever" and "I Already Know I Love You", unless it's your time of the month and you need a good cry.
I'm only admitting this because I love you all: I also cried when I got to the last line of this total hippie-dippy book called On the Day You were Born, and that is one I had read to her a few dozen times without a tear.
The good news: if I am pregnant, I'm totally going to get a book deal.
I read that same book in a bookstore about a month ago and I, too, was bawling. And later, when I tried to describe it to my husband, I had to stop because of the tears. Glad to hear I'm in good company.
You wuss.
I think I'm the only guy to comment so far, so it had to be done.
I deserve it.
I am considerably more pathetic than you, because I cried reading both this post, and the Amazon reivew. Like strangling back the sobs crying. And I can't read that last line of "On The Day You Were Born" without getting choked up. Come on. "We're so glad you're here"? How CAN you read that to your beloved child without getting choked up?
But then I am SUCH a damn chick.
I'm 7 months pregnant and think I best stay FAR FAR away from that book for a while. Everything is making me cry. This post reminded me of a song my mom used to sing to me when I was about Juniper's age: "What'll I doooo, when yoooou, are goooonne from me...I'll be bluuuuue, what'll I doooo..." I would cry when I was little and she sang it, and now I'm crying thinking about it. You aren't the only one who's loco!
ha- i was totally going to say what merseydotes did...you cutie patootie men with your sensitivity and hormones...welcome to my world. call me when you start crying along to extreme makeover home edition. in all seriousness, it says a lot for you (and my husband and a lot of guys i know that are dads now) to be willing to admit that you feel this way about your kids- that fuckin rocks and our kids are going to be better for it.
now i'm off to knit a pair of booties for your latest addition. all i can think of is arnold schwartzennegar saying "it's not a tumor"...hee.
You haven't made it to womanhood just yet. Getting a period is nothing.
When you shoot a watermelon sized baby out of your nether regions THEN you are a real chick.
And THEN you get the book deal.
Hilarious, excellent post!
I'm scheduling an induced c-section.
you rule, seriously.
What size shoe do you wear? We can do a little tradey-trade.
P.S. Amazing post (as usual).
omg, i read that book to my little one recently. sniffle.
You are quite possibly the sweetest guy on the internet. My husband, also a SAHD, will be glad to know that he is in good company, the sentimental sap that he is! He has recently joined a bowling league just so that he can get a weekly boost of "manliness".
I second whit -- suck it up, dude. You'll need your strength for labor ...
this book is heartbreaking as a mother and a daughter. how could you not cry?
How could you not read "On the Day You Were Born" without crying? I always cry with that one.
So...did you let the tears just flow or do you take that monent of silence while you will yourself to quit getting so choked up over a book! that makes you cry every time dammit! but it's so beautiful you have to keep reading it, over and over.
DON'T read "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch if it is your SAHD Period time, you will drown poor Juney in your tears.
But definitely read it when your testosterone is high.
Dutch, reading your blog is the highlight of my day!! You should win a Pulitzer for this blog! F...cking fantastic!
Here's what you need to do: have Wood kick you in the groin, just to remind you that you're still a man. 
Yep, I'm with the others. You'd best avoid Robert Munsch (Love You Forever, at least).
You're not a woman! You're one of the good guys. That's all.
I loved this post. Taking pride in J.'s pigtails...awesome, Dutch.
God I loves this post. You're awesome, Dutch. Truly.
I meant *loved*. Sorry, that was just bugging me.
Dude, I dunno. Ever since I had a kid it's like I'm always on the brink of tears. Anytime some kid in a movie turns to his/her dad and says "you're a great dad" or "i love you" or whatever, and that fictional dad is thus able to reach deep down for the inner strength to push forward, carry on, save the day and do what's right, I'm like fucking water works.
I'll confess: I cry at the end of Where the Wild Things Are. Every time.
dutch, a little tip- when you take off your socks tonight before you go to bed, if you see a nice deep line in your leg from the elastic, that's when you *really* know it's that time of the month. that and the two empty containers of edy's samoa cookie special edition grand ice cream in the trash. good times.
I can't read Love You Forever without crying. I watched my dad read it to my daughter and HE cried. It's just one of those books that gets ya right there....in the heart.
Good! Now you know how WE feel when we read your blog at work and find ourselves CRYING ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD because of all the beautiful things you and Wood say about Juniper. Revenge!
As many women here can probably attest, the crying does not limit itself to PMS and pregnancy after you give birth. Now, I cry at commercials, books (children's or otherwise), and freaking nature shows. And if I'm watching a TV program that involves a baby in distress? Forgettaboutit. I have turned into a S-A-P. It was only inevitable for you .
My husband and I both started bawling yesterday while listening to Stevie Wonder's song about his daughter (Isnt's She Lovely). Ever since we've had our little girl who is now 6 months old, we've become unabashedly sentimental. It's a good thing. A very good thing.
Feeling a little bloated too? Yes, everything changes when you have a baby...like that Johnson and Johnson's ad.
Here's a list of notable books from the last year selected by children's librarians for your reference.
http://www.ala.org/ala/alsc/
awar...rentnotable.htm
i can't even get through watching the rutgers women's basketball team press conference without bawling my freakin eyes out...
btw pnuts daddy is willing to have you over to hammer up some drywall with you to help you through this foray into your feminine side.
Number of times I cried between ages 15 and 30? Maybe 4.
Number of times I cry per DAY now that I'm a mother? Maybe 4.
Fuck, dude, it comes with parenthood. I was SO NOT A CRIER ever before. But I also do that shit with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and watching ANY show (CSI: fill-in-the-blank-city or Law & Order variants) where there's a child who dies or is kidnapped or whatever. RIP MY FRIGGING HEART OUT.
And we had to have our 13 year old lab put down the other week (heartwrenching), and the vet made a pawprint from his paw in this heart-shaped elastimer stuff, painted it and stuck little gooey letters of his name on it, and mailed it to me, telling me he was special to them too. Okay, this is CHEEZY, but holy shit, I BAWLED MY FRIGGING EYES OUT.
I can't even LISTEN to "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross. Bawl city.
Next I'll probably cry when I hear a muzak version of that one mike & the mechanics song. that is when I know I've hit rock bottom.
My son's preschool teacher bought him LOVE YOU FOREVER, and I couldn't help feeling creeped out by the mom coming with a ladder to her adult son's home in the middle of the night.
The teacher told me it was her favorite book, creepy.
Dutch, it's only going to get worse. The other night I was watching "Click"--yes, an Adam Sandler comedy of all things--and cried thru the entire last half of it b'cuz I was once again reminded that my babies (2 and 4 yr-olds) are going to grow up and leave me. Adam Sandler. I don't even like him. (In my defense, I just weaned myself of my antidepressant, so everything's making me cry these days as I re-experience having emotions again).
Ah yes, The Living Years.
Cat Stevens' The Wind and Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow turn my husband into a blubbering girl every time.
Oh, by the way, can you teach Heather how to do perfect ponytails?! My OCD tendencies get all twitchy when I see little Leta's crazy, crooked ponies.
This is priceless. Bravo!
DUDE. There is a whole booth full of the raddest defunct '50s TV sets in my fave local flea market for $30 each (obsessively documented here). I've been trying to figure out some way to justify bringing some of them home for years now.
Also, um, congratulations on becoming a woman. I used 'dude' as an emphatic interjection - I wasn't trying to dishonor your transition in any way.
Do your boobs hurt? Bloated? Craving chocolate?
Oh and don't try to read "I'll Love You Forever" at Borders. You may die.
I ate at Russ' for the first time this weekend. I thought of you because, well, you're dutch!
After dropping our youngest off at college, EVERYTHING made me cry for weeks afterward. That stupid bread commercial, the one with the song that goes "I don't love you much, do I?" had me sobbing like an idiot just watching the mom play with her little kids on the swings before sharing sandwiches. Ah, the things parenthood does to us.
Hold your head up high Dutch. That way, you won't drip snot down Juney's back during your episodes.
Thanks for the book recommendation so I can wail about my daughter growing up. 'I Love You Forever' just killed me with my son when he brought it home from the library in Pre-K. I hope you listen to all the advice already given about avoiding this book like the plague, since Lake Michigan already has enough water.
Oh, just to give your testosterone a boost so it knows it is not alone, my Bitter Half needed a quiet moment for the tears that FLOODED down his cheeks when our 10 year old daughter asked us if it was true we were Santa and
The Easter Bunny. His little girl was growing up and he couldn't stop it. Bless his heart, and yours...
The kid's book moment that always gets me is in The Wind in the Willows when Mole finds his home again. No children there, but oh the tears.
""What day is it?" I asked.
"Why?"
"Because Jesus Christ, I think I'm about to get my period.""
*giggle*
You crack my shit up
Don't watch Toy Story II! I have to ff the part where the girl grows up and forgets about her cowgirl dolly then gives her away to good will. 
There's a whole subgroup of kid books that do that to me. Even Miss Spider, the line at the end, "When you look for your mother there's one simple test, just look for the person who loves you the best" or something like that. Never can read that straight. Dang.
Dammit, I picked that book up at the library today after reading your post and ended up all weepy on the floor of the children's section. Is there any parent on earth who could read that thing aloud to their child without sobbing? That thing should be shelved with the grown ups' books or something.
(I'm pregnant, too, though, so maybe I'm overreacting.)
haha... oh dutch, you make me laugh. now you know how it feels!!!
Well christ. Don't read "You Are My Miracle" either.
http://www.amazon.com/You-Miracl...e/dp/
0399240373
*I also cried at On the Day You Were Born*
You should know that I had to run to the ladies room and compose myself I was laughing so hard.
Second it was always and still is "The Giving Tree" for me. But I am not a parent yet so that leaves everything wide open for future tears over books. Oh and perfect pigtails...beautiful.
welcome to motherhood.
well, i have three boys...age 11 and twin boys age 3 and i came to the realization that i am growing a penis.
my younger songs were obsessed with Toy Story and we watched that a gazillion times. The last month their obsession has moved to Star Wars. We watch each Star Wars movie and I get bombarded with questions about all things Star Wars. I have become nearly as knowledgeable as any well versed Star Wars fan.
my older sons discusses all the ins and outs of various video game consoles and DVR's hours of south park, family guy and robot chicken. I think i have seen more south park then any other 36 year old woman in Michigan, if not the US.
I make jokes about balls and nuts. I find the word penis hilarious. Farts priceless.
PS: I Love You Forever makes me bawl everytime. (Glad to see I am not alone!)
...and if/ when you have a boy and read Love You Forever by Munsch....water works every time.
You should read "The Tenth Good Thing about Barney" by Judith Viorst. My husband cried when I merely told him about it.
If you are turning into a woman, I'm becoming a funny kind of Sweet Juniper lurker.
First I ordered a copy of your book, which some Spanish company sent me in a very interesting looking little box. It's the favorite cat-sleeping place now.
Then I read this post and ordered the book at my local Dutch bookstore, where, of course, they never heard of it. Being in a Dutch speaking country etc doesn't help.
"Someday" arrived today and after picking it up I sat down at my desk and started reading. I wanted to cry.
I'll give it to my mother and will ask it back when (if) I have a child of my own. I'm sure she'll understand what I want to say to her.
dont worry, reading your post made me cry. some days are just like that. i find it is more difficult early in the morning
Lee Ann Womick - I Hope You Dance - and you have to trust me that I'm not a country western kinda gal. "I hope you always feel small beside the ocean..." Bawling like a baby... the song never would have gotten past my ear pre-kids. Oh well.
LOL I came across your blog after searching for this book online. (word for word ... that's for the audio link!) I had recently checked it out and read it to my little girls and wanted to share it in my journal.
Hilarious entry! ;o)
LORI
Who I am ... underneath it all
http://journals.aol.com/scotthlo...i/
DiscoveringMe
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