I loved everything about this post.
And, the Elmo hysteria kind of makes me sad (ridiculous!) for all the old characters, Ernie and Bert and Big Bird, and Snuffleupagus.
How exactly does one "woot"?
I second Olivia's comment, I love every single word of this wonderfully written piece.
I love this post as well. I love the window you provide into this world that is so very different from mine. thanks.
thank you for going where I have not yet dared to go. Maybe next year
It's stuff like this, Dutch, that makes me like you even more. No matter how many times you sit in your eames chair and wax poetic, when it comes down to it, you're just a dad who loves his kid enough to take her to see big gihugic sesame street characters.
But this:
"All I know is I haven't seen a more inspiring performance of Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out for a Hero since the climactic moments of Short Circuit 2."
CLASSIC. Thank you. I'll be thinking about that all day. And sadly, I'll be singing that damn song too.
I loved this post! It made me laugh right from the belly. Thanks for making my Monday morning so jolly.
we saw "Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music" last night. E sat through nearly the entire show with the glazed-over her senses get overloaded. Then she danced like crazy. Then she went ape-shit.
I'm with you: I couldn't help having a blast.
To be a parent is to live with pure, unadulterated Elmo worship, BUT it also means you get to experience the wide-eyed wonder of the evolving little person next to you. As you expressed, it is most definitely a fair trade-off.
While driving my daughter to catch her megabus back to school in Chicago yesterday, I saw thousands of people leaving the Fox clutching those very same Elmo balloons. Just for a moment, I was wistful and sorry my kids were too old for stuff like that because the honest joy on the little faces was wonderful to watch. Glad you and Junie enjoyed your afternoon together. You seem to be an amazing father.
On a less serious note-"Ernie catching Bert giving the assistant carpenter head behind Hooper's store" has to be one of the funniest lines I've ever read. Thanks for making my Monday morning read a funny one.
Holy crap. I totally forgot about Tully.
Tully rules.
Glad you changed your mind about Elmo. You're totally right. The only thing that matters is Juney's happiness. If a little thing like Elmo makes her happy, go for it!
I guess we'll be seeing you at Wal-Mart soon?
haha, when the picture came up and i saw the two tickets to SSL i couldn't believe it! i thought maybe you won a contest. yeah, for as much as we parents like to complain about how lame some of the stuff we do with our kids is, i think the previous commenters are right, it's way more fun to let go of all that and just have pure, unadulterated fun with your child. i'm pretty sure that will be the memories our kids will never forget. for the record, i still harbor a little resentment that my parents never ponied up for that show. i can't wait til pnut is old enough to go!
a toast to you, dutch- for many reasons you are an awesome dad, but this post (joey mcintyre? surprise that juney was more impressed w/ the balloon than the ceiling?) just sealed the deal. thanks for warming up my heart this morning.
I love the references to screaming concert-goers over Elvis. I have a clear picture in my head.
I'm sure Juniper was just a doll.
Not only were we there a week ago, we actually saw the aforementioned balloon float up to the ceiling. Watching Maggie's face, and hearing all the other little kids lose their shit, was absolutely worth the price of admission and the hours I had to sit through it.
And I was wondering, this whole hilariously brilliant post, what you'd think of the exorbitant balloons. I dispatched Paul to get one when we saw them, and he came back balloonless with a look of shock on his face and flashed me ten fingers. We were with the grandparents, who immediately decided they would step in until we explained it wasn't that we didn't HAVE $10, it's that we refused to SPEND $10 on such a blatant "screw the parents" ploy.
Back in the day, before Ilitch restored the Fox, I used to go see bands there including REM with the Replacements opening. Kind of weird to sit with Maggie in the same place I used to be all vintage-clad alternateen....
It is one of the best lessons I learned in being a mother... that children like what THEY like. No matter how lame we find those things as adults. Dora the Explorer drives me nuts, Elmo's voice grates on my nerves, and the gullibility and affability of Telly Monster (I think it's Telly, not Tully) makes me ROLL MY EYES. But, Hootie loves it. And I soon figured out that I loved watching her delight in something more than I disliked her choices as a toddler. I wasn't really encouraged to be a child, but rather a little mini-adult. And I am trying not to make that mistake with Hootie! Clearly, you already figured all that out WAY before I did!
And that's what stuff like blogs are for - to vent your distaste for some of the gewgaws and brightly colored plastic shit (rather than the VERY cool stuffed and wooden toys we all love as adults looking back on childhood...) without sullying Juney's experience of it. You're a GOOD FATHER, Dutch!
Kids. They take you places you never thought you'd go.
I took my kids to see The Wiggles in concert at the Fox and God help me, I danced and sang along with them and had a blast. If I hadn't been there with a 3 and 4-year old, I would have thrown my panties onto the stage. I'm glad you had fun at SSL.
I took my son to see The Wiggles at The Fox Theatre in St. Louis and the collective preschool roar was similarly impressive. I never realized there were other Fox Theatres. You prompted me to look it up and apparently, there were four built in Detroit, St. Louis, Brooklyn and San Francisco.
Missed one- Atlanta had one too.
My parents actually drove 4 hours to a bigger city to take me to see Disney on Ice every year. I am a grinch. My kids saw Dragon Tales Live once, and the circus once. I speculated that both were a lot like a room in hell.
You are so much better.
This experience is the same reason my dad knows all the words to "Rubber Duckie".
Oh, my word...I loved this post. I remember going to SSL when I was about six, and coming away with a felt Prairie Dawn character on a stick. Prairie Dawn adorned my walls for years. I can't wait til my daughter is old enough to experience the wild toddler delight of seeing TV characters huge and live.
My favorite line: "So a man standing there in the six-foot Elmo costume basked in the love of a thousand ecstatic toddlers, while a pre-recorded voice sang and he flapped the giant muppet lips to the words." So ridiculous. So awesome.
Sometimes I need a little nudge to remind me to enjoy the little moments with Bean. Thanks for providing that this morning!
okay - never mind the $10 balloon rip off ... is the $10 ticket price because because of a) Detroit is just cheaper than Boston, or b) the whole same day box office thing. Seriously, tickets here would be like $300 each ...
For $10 each I'd go every day!
I love the Fox Theatre! I used to perform in the Nutcracker there every Christmas for years and years. Oh, good old ballet days. Actually, it's a terrible stage for putting on live performances - it was made for showing movies (e.g. shallow stage, sucky dressing room facilities, no 'backstage' directly behind the stage - if you exit stage left and want to reenter stage right, you have to run underneath the stage or behind the backdrop) - but the theatre itself is still beautiful.
Actually, memories are coming back now: our yearly run of "Nutcracker" there ended around the end of high school when we were evicted by the Rockettes, and I'm still a little bitter.
Love, love, LOVE this post, and am wistful for the days I did these things with my kiddos. They're 13 and 10 now, and the price of the things they love is significantly higher now (just try to score tickets to Hannah Montana at the Houston Rodeo!) While we still do fun things, that look on their faces of sheer joy and amazement is just not the same (except when we walk into the Magic Kingdom at Disney World and we see Cinderella's castle at the end of Main Street - then my face looks just like theirs!).
Perfect post.
You made me laugh out loud and feel all wistful and sad (about the oafish kid--it won't get better for him, will it?). The pure, all-encompassing joy we get from our kids is a better drug than any pharmaceutical warlord could ever make.
This is the kind of post that makes me want to have kids, because even though I can't imagine anything more horrific than an afternoon with Elmo, I know that it is truly something magical to see that kind of joy in your progeny.
Loved this post. Every. Word.
And my mom had a similar experience when she took me to my first New Kids On The Block concert.
All I have to say is parents like you are just the best.
And the gesture will count twice. Once right now because Juney got to see Elmo up close and personal and bask in his unkempt fur. And again when Juniper is old enough to realize how much of yourself you had to subvert to even take her to such a show.
I don't think that this is what all parents do. Don't sell yourself short.
thanks for the heartfelt post - really lovely.
See what I love about you is you are so goddamn cool that you aren't afraid to be utterly uncool. And it makes me sad for those kids who have the other kind of cool parents. You know the ones who aren't going to Sesame Street Live. Thankfully I have another year before I have to cross that divide. Regardless, I love this post and have such a beautiful visual of you and Juniper in that magnificent theater.
Ohhhh, I love this post. Having sat thru SSL two times, I appreciate every single word. My kids are 8 and 10 and I would do anything to go back just for a day, and spend it with them and Elmo.
Silly
I love this post. Your description of the audience and the intermission Elmo balloons was so spot on. We've been to the Sesame Street Live shows twice and always sit in the balcony. It's amazing to watch the enormous bouquet of Elmos dispersed among the crowd as the hawkers walk towards the back of the theater. When I see my daughter and her fellow audience members reacting in astonishment and delight at the sight of these characters right there in front of them I can't help but get all choked up. When we took her to Sesame Place last summer I started bawling during the uber-corn "Rock and Roll" parade.
Being a parent is so sacrificial. I loathe children's dance recitals with a passion generally reserved for times of great political injustice or, say, The Black Eyed Peas winning a Grammy. In the past both of my nieces have taken dance class after dance class and, of course, I always beam with joy as I watch them because they are cute as cupcakes dipped in cookies and I'd support them even if they joined a mime team or went on a reality show to become the 10,000th member of the Pussycat Dolls (I literally quivered as I typed that).
But the minute they exit stage left, I turn into a potty-mouthed version of Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets. No-holds-barred cynicism trips from my tongue - I am not above heckling a little girl that can't get her act together, especially if she's dancing to Celine Dion.
Kudos to you for being so supportive. I can't wait to have a kid that drags me to such dreck. What a joy!
That is probably the best post about parenting I have ever read. From the dramatic tension to the rapping dad, my eyes welled up and I thought, "Fuck, yes. In another five years, maybe I'll do that."
Loved this: "I never looked at the stage. My eyes were on my daughter's face."
This post is so great I'm tempted to start writing a paper about it. I love the backstage view of the complicated resigned loving grown-up experience that dedicates itself to that straight-up child's joy. That's true of all your posts, but thinking about that relationship in terms of theater just makes it all seem that much more absurdly beautiful. The speculated actual backstage life, of course, is an awesome bonus.
hello insomnia: like this: "woot!"
dutch: awesome post, I chuckled to myself the entire way through. genius. pure genius. and also, is there any chance (probably not) that you took pictures?? I would LOVE to see juney's elmo (aka crazed psycho glee) face.
I have been right there, with my daughter, and did almost the exact same thing.
I even shed a tear when she went nuts over the song and dance.
I thought about the people's lives inside the furry costumes.
We didn't spend money on a overpriced balloon we could get at the grocery store.
I made fun of the entire production when telling people about it.
It was one of the best moments watching my daughter so far.
That was awesome, it was like I was there, and the turquoise muppet, her name is Rosita, it always reminds me of that Frank Zappa song, little green Rosetta. Makes me wonder if sesame street creators aren't closet hippies.
In a couple of weeks we're going to ge see "Go Diego Go! Live" and I can't wait to have the experience you wrote about. I can't wait to see the looks on the boys' faces when a real live Diego and baby Jaguar come out on stage. 
"It was like 1955 Elvis Presley combined with the 1964 Beatles with a dash of 1988 Joey McIntyre and just a pinch of 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio (in Japan)." -- this totally gave me the feeling of what it was like to be in that room. I remember going to a New Kids concert back in those days and screaming myself hoarse. I hate Elmo, though, and I hate that he's taken over Sesame Street. Why oh why can't he refer to himself as "I", and maybe use verbs correctly? Don't even get me started on "Baby Bear", either, what is UP with Sesame Street now? It's like they forgot about teaching kids and decided to show that it's okay to speak like a moron.
You've done something that I thought no one would EVER be able to do: you've made me accept that if I someday have a kid who loves Sesame Street, I will actually pay money and take them to see Sesame Street Live.
For years, I've wondered why anyone would pay money to sit through it. Now I know! :D
You see, this gives me hope--if kids can love stuff adults find so annoying, I will have no problem using D as my cover to indulge my monster-truck-rally fetish and my affinity for awful amusement park rides. "But it's for the KIDS."
And your description of Telly was so. spot. on. Love it!
The College of Wooster doesn't have a Dance-Theater department, it is the Department of Theater and Dance. If you're going to disrespect the Fighting Scots (and what did we ever do to you?), at least get your facts straight.
A great piece of writing! I am taking my four year old daughter to see a Sesame Street Live next week. I am actually looking forward to it.
Thanks for the heads up on the $10 balloons!
I've been reading this blog backwards through the archives for about a week now and I have to say, this was the best post ever. Having graduated from the College of Wooster, I had to do a double-take at the shoutout - most people I know think I'm talking about Worcester, Massachusetts. Cheers!
hilarious. The real "Elmo" story. Best post I've read in ages -- a joy to have stumbled upon.
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