That's great that you are thinking about all these things! They are hard topics to try and "master", but always trying your hardest is the key, of course, only possible with God's help.
"Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable."
~Lord Chesterfield
Something similar happened to me last summer. God started showing me how narrow minded and self-centered I had become. Little did I know that he had some crazy idea of what I was to do that fall...
Keep focused on God, you never know where he might lead you!
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