Yeehaa, there's John Hawkins waving a half-eaten cheetoh around like a spear of righteousness, frothing at the mouth, stuttering as he realizes that he's telling his last remaining friend on the face of the earth that he's a no good scumbag...
"I know what you're thinking: 'Did he drop six G'bombs, or only five?'
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is the Internet, the most powerful tubes in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
One day this war's gonna end.
CHARLIE DON'T SURF!!!
Put another way, if you're a Republican Senator up for reelection in 2008 and you vote for amnesty -- and you face a viable primary challenger -- I've got two words for you:
You. Lose.
That'll show 'em!
Pass the popcorn...
He's going to organize multiple Googlebombs. Not just one. Multiple.
Sadly, that level of effort would make him look like John Rambo next to his orange-fingered fellow wingnut bloggers.
I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a Googlebomb.
and Google, who rewrote their algorithms last year specifically to combat linkbombing, are never going to notice.
and Google, who rewrote their algorithms last year specifically to combat linkbombing, are never going to notice.
Yeah, really. No wonder these people can't do anything right. They keep fighting today's intertubes wars using strategies from yesterday's intertubes wars.
This is the best news I've read in a long time.
But who is this guy? He writes the way O'falafel talks.
Oh brother. Don't these morons ever stop to think? So. Lessee. I don't agreee with one plank. So I'm gonna destroy a moderate Republican who maybe has a chance in the general election, so as to put in a radical right-wing Republican run who will have no chance in the general election. Now I see how these genuises got us into Iraq. One day both sides will learn that this "cafeteria" style of politics won't work. It's the one that has the best overall vision for America who will get my vote, regardless of whether I agree with ALL his/her opinions or not.
In other matters, I wish you posted the "Charlie don't surf...napalm" scene. Personal favorite.
No, not teh Googlebomb! Think of the children! For the love of God, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, John, how did that massive Googlebomb campaign against the Democrats in ought-six work out?
Disneyland. Fuck, man, this is better than Disneyland.
All your Googlebombs are belong to us.
OH NO! They set us up the Googlebomb.
I learned to surf in New Jersey.
Anyway, when I was a hard-bitten, irony-obsessed teenage existentialist, I was enamored of the received common knowledge that of all species, only rats and humans would eat their own kind. Logic suggests that this is probably spurious. At any rate, the list should certainly be revised to read rats, humans and Republicans.
I'm also going to offer those candidates my services, pro-bono, as a consultant, to try to get their names out in the blogosphere. On top of that, I'm going to hunt down every single piece of dirt I can find on the pro-amnesty Republicans and I'm going to release it in the blogosphere.
Those Republicans are so wetting their pants right now!
wow
this guy is mui manly
arf
HAWKINS: They gave me a mission... and I'd never want another...
A major. They were going to make me a major...
But who is this guy?
I can actually fill in one spot I'm sure he'd prefer to leave blank. He used to be a quite active poster on a politics board that I frequented (much to my shame) in my "Gosh, I just got the internet and holy shit these Conservative dinks are sure arguing poorly all over the place" summer of 2001. Archfiend tagged every post with the URL of rightwingnews v.1.0.x. This was a CGI board. So he either typed it or had in an open notepad so he could C&P it. He's got moxie, this kid!
That board would be Utopia Politics. The sub-forum for a free fantasy combat strategy game. It's only slightly worse today than it was then. Put on your hip waders and put some Vicks under your nose and go check out the creche for the campaign staffers of tomorrow.
TomBwaha, In honor of this embarrassing confession I would be gratified to see some G. Love pop up some time soon.
I totally meant to drop a link up there (every connotation of the preceding verb fully intended).
Internet Archive has some drawrings up on the fridge.
I just think it's cute how he's bragging about his success rate in character assassination. He points out that his preference is for the "worst, most damaging, hit pieces" and am I overly cynical in imagining that he won't spend a lot of time seeing if they're accurate?
Hey there, just saw this article about your favorite lead singer EVAH! and, naturally, my first reaction was to jump over here and see if you'd posted anything yet.
I bet at least a hundred people have e-mailed the link already...
No wonder these people can't do anything right. They keep fighting today's intertubes wars using strategies from yesterday's intertubes wars.
Eric B. | Homepage | 05.21.07 - 8:36 am | #
You go to war with the intertubes you have, not the intertubes you wish you had.
Last year, I organized the Rightroots effort to raise more than a quarter of a million dollars for Republican candidates in the last 3 months of the election.
I know what Hawkins is saying, but a MoveOn e-mail can raise that much between lunch and high tea.
He *organized the effort* to raise more than a quarter-mill.
I myself organized the effort this weekend to mow my lawn... maybe I will actually do it someday...
Martin: Let's put it on the Internet!
Bart: No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter!
Cap'n Phealy beat me to it... 2006 Democrats indeed.
If Charlie doesn't die on this week's season finale of LOST, I'm going to organize multiple google bombs! MULTIPLE!
am I overly cynical in imagining that he won't spend a lot of time seeing if they're accurate?
I wouldn't call that cynical, as accuracy has never been too important for these guys.
Let's follow along, though, as Mr. Hawkins (great name, as it either implies Hawkishness or a prediliction toward snake oil) puts up his bullseye chart as he takes down one
Speaking of google, a certain Shrieking Harpy has a new Middle East peace plan.
P.S. Did somebody say Shrieking Harpy?
~
Fuck haloscan. Maybe it doesn't work with Mozilla anymore. I was just trying to link to Instapundit anyway, so maybe haloscan has more sense than I do.
You go to war with the intertubes you have, not the intertubes you wish you had.
R.L.Page | 05.21.07 - 3:04 pm | #
ha
The Republicans are getting their Nader on. That Robespierreian purity of political vision, of a very white city on a magically self-mowing lawn, sounds eerily familiar to me. Sounds like the South will go for some spoiler fucktard and hose the Republicans for a change.
I can hope, can't I?
Hey,
You try surfing in Feb. with a 10 mm wet suit, NJ surfers are the most dedicated in the world,
I organized GoogleBombs last year that targeted Democratic candidates and we got 70 out of 86 negative links in the top 30 search results on Google. This year, since we have more time, we will probably have an even higher success rate.
Ah, now we see the real reason for the 2006 Republican landslide.
You go to war with the intertubes you have, not the intertubes you wish you had.
At least they can take credit for coming up with this idea second, even if it's a couple of years late.
One thing people seem to be missing: isn't it our responsibility to be sure that those worst, most damaging hit pieces are written and prominent?
I guess he hasn't heard about Google tweaking the search algorithm to defuse most g'bombs. Sigh..
Meanwhile: Anyone brave enough to fight the Cav can drink out of MY water bottle any day!
No, Cleveland surfers are the most dedicated in the world.
Commenting by HaloScan
