"sitting opposite the tomb"
I have been surprised this year at the intensity of the feelings of grief, creeping up and whacking me right up the back of my head. I shouldn't be surprised, given that my mom died just twelve weeks ago--but there I am, sitting opposite the tomb, still weeping. (Fred, I am missing my mom too.) Usually, I am soooooooo ready for Easter. I only want to be ready, this year....
So, here I sit like the other women, opposite the tomb.
My mother always used to say, "Leave it lay where Jesus flang it!" So, I am imagining leaving death, and her sister grief, behind the cold stone, and trusting that God is at work, even on this day of rest, this Sabbath, cultivating even the rocky tomb into a place of unexpected life.
Come Lord Jesus, come.
So simple. So final. So human.
"So Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and laid it in his own new tomb,..."
True witnesses to Him until the very end. Courage. Grief. Loss. Exhaustion. Stunned. Love.
"He then rolled a great stone to the door of the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb."
I have problems with 3 and 6, so I am hoping for some quiet time this Easter.
And may it be a blessed one for you.
The greatest unasked-for gift that I have ever received was being asked to care for friends who were dying of AIDS. Although the emotional cost was (and remains) very high, burying so many that were the created family of my youth, the spiritual gifts were transformative.
Today's passage summarizes all of this week's passages for me because of these experiences I have had:
physically caring for those whose bodies have ceased to function normally
overcoming my own hesitation and fears to reach out in love
opening myself to grace through the teachings these experiences give to those who are open.
It is the painful and peaceful acceptance of the remains of life that allows me to see the promise of the resurrection to come.
I remember sitting by the bodies of my grandparents, my father, and so many friends, just sitting there and being. The learning and transformation take place in the emptiness and helplessness of my grief.
Jesus, you are my hope, my strength and my salvation. Blessed be your name.
"He then rolled a great stone to the door of the tomb and went away."
As I meditated on this I thought of the many times I have rolled a great stone across my vision or my willingness to be fully engaged in the world as a Christian.
"...in his own new tomb,...."
To create a "new tomb." A heart and mind more fully engaged and willing in the ministry of Jesus.
This day is the day I am glad I live now and not then. What huge faith some of those folks must have had. But for us, for me, I already know that this is a day of anticipation and not dread. I know that the story we heard of Lazaurus just a few weeks ago will be magnified seventy fold. And I am like a child again, maybe that is what He was talking about at the beginning of this week. As a child can hardly wait for his/her birthday I can hardly wait for Easter. For while the Apostles and disciples knew the man I know the Jesus the Christ. They had to ponder the seeming condundrum, for me it is the greatest truth of all. Yes, Good Friday is a terrible day, even now, but just as sure as the sun rises, the Son rises.
"rich man"
This in the context of tombs and resurrection gnawed at me because I have not been able to get out of my mind an organization a very good friend recently told me about, Women for Women in light of some videos I posted at War Against Women and recent readings about genocide in Rwanda.
In this Holy Week of a flood of words and emotions, readings, and reflections, I often feel overloaded at times, not knowing what to do with it all. I'm not one to go looking for new charitable causes or jump into anything quickly, but suddenly today, the part of the narrative about the "rich man" hit me, vividly in terms of the image of the tomb and how, in a small way, someone with worldly riches can honor our Lord and maybe help resurrect earthly life among some who have come so near to death, have witnessed death all around them, and barely cling to it themselves.
It reminded me that I need to somehow figure out how to be more outward doing (not just thinking), and this is, for me a small start. I write here not to plug this group or any other (although of course I think it is worth supporting), but to simply share this is what the reading brought me, something that has been welling up all week.
Thanks for directing us to the real heart of our faith this week, Jake.
As I sat vigil very early Friday morning(the bad hours are easy for me, the obstetrician), I felt stangely euphoric for the Christus Victor.
I'm off to the Great Vigil of Easter, bells in-hand, with my daughter, home from college for a time.
God's Peace.
How can I explain today...I guess I'll just tell you the truth about the luncheon...it should have been tomorrow but it couldn't be tomorrow because of some of the Jewish guests who would leave tomorrow...it couldn't be tomorrow because of the dear friends and their children from Mexico City and Puerto Rico because they leave tomorrow morning too...so, I had a lovely luncheon with Pastel de Amarillo (Puerto Rican favorite), Rice with Chorizo, Fruit salad with various types of melons, Zesty Carrot/raisin/pineapple salad, toasted garlic bread and a huge banana split (I have it made on one of my huge serving platters and keep it stored in the freezer at the icecream store until desert time when it is picked up, laced with whip cream and doused with nuts)...there was a open bar beforehand and lots of nice people met one another for the first time and laughed as shared...I like that...the buffet was served from the kitchen and people ate in the gallery and patio...48 for lunch, Juan Carlos and I hosting and Violetta and Estela doing the cooking/serving and clean up...Jennifer from San Francisco served as Bartender...it was a great day...it was a feast day, it was a beautiful time shared with many loving people...I love nice people (there was even a few Republicans that I love)...it *was* a tiny bit early for the celebration of Easter but mostly it was a moment too late joyfilled expression of Loving God and Loving one another...it was a smash hit...thank you God and I thank all of you for walking with me through this past year...I love you very much and simply coming to Jake's gives me reassurance and hope that all will be as it "ought" be.
He *has* risen will be more accurately recelebrated in a few hours but we got another taste of "inclusive" brotherly/sisterly love today down here at the foot of the volcano (active).
Thanks be to God, a God who also loves and WELCOMES ALL of us at The Episcopal Church/Anglican Communion of The Global Center/South.
You can count on it.
Trust God
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