The judgment seat is huge and wide. There is room for us all. We have all sat there at one time or another.
But I will seek in vain to find my Lord there. He is not there--not in the judgment seat.
Leave the seat. Follow him. And in doing so, I must try not to judge myself.....
--margaret
I picture myself in a courtroom. God is the judge. How is it that we are not meted justice, for we have fallen short of the mark. In fact, we cannot hit the mark, ever. No matter how many laws are created, especially old testament prohibitions, sooner or later we miss the mark. So, God looks at me and finds me guilty. I wriggle and squirm but there is nothing I can do -- I cannot justify myself. But, and this is a powerful but, God, our rightful judge, in the person of Jesus steps down from the bench, wraps me in his loving arms and says, "this is what Yawheh requires of you, ...to act justly, to love tenderly and to walk humbly with you God". Jesus then kisses me and joyfully goes to the cross FOR ME! I can scarcely breath, for nothing, absolutely nothing else matters!
"I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me should not remain in the darkness."
The power to love one another and our acts of kindness bring 'light' to even the darkest place.
Serving God by serving each other.
"for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."
The rule is love one another.
Don't think about it. Do it.
All the other rules mean nothing compared to that one single commandment.
"...I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."
This part of the passage stood out to me. I am trying so hard to make up for lost time when it comes to my relationship with God. I went to church growing up and I 'heard His words' but I didn't have a relationship- I didn't 'believe'. This makes me realize that we are not expected to believe right away. He is there when we are ready. If we fall away for a time, it's OK. We can go back and try again.
For that I am thankful.
Jake:
Thank you for sharing what must be a personal and painful revelation. As a person who judges others far too often myself, I know that this superiority complex can become a stumbling block. Yet in this text we also know that Jesus wants us to move out of that place of judgement. He invites us to "not remain in the darkness" but to step into the light.
I believe this light that Jesus invites us to live into is one where we do not reject our gifts or powers of discernment --for with these things we can see the needs of others and ourselves, and move to act upon them.
The key is to remain alive to the differences and distinctions amongst us without finding them a cause for discrimination or cruelty. It's a challenge that caused many a would-be follower of Jesus to walk away.
If we truly "see," we see beyond that which is visible. If we truly "believe," we hold a belief in that which is unknowable.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
"Judge" to me means to pass final sentence perhaps without the right of appeal, to use a modern concept. Pilate finally judged. God will finally judge. Until that time we are informed, quite clearly that we are not permitted to take God's place or do God's job. To do so involves frightful temerity; we become Pilate.
This does not mean that we may not criticize -I use the word in its precise sense. We may, prayerfully, hopefully, express our opinions about what others are saying or doing IF our motive is redemptive.
At once we realize just how far short we fall of such a role. We are all, I speak for myself, enthusiastic about donning the judicial role and banging the hammer. We are not good at speaking the truth in love. Lord I believe, help the unbelief in my actions.
"I came not to judge, ..."
So we can do no less.
For me right now, that says nothing about whether I must forgive, ... It is enough for now, looking at the clamor over the canons, over who is right and who is wrong, the ongoing backbiting and nitpicking that would engulf us again in a sea of hostility; it is enough not to judge.
God creates positive and spiritually/emotionally healthy guidelines and offers me courage (that I often don't have) to see, understand and pursue them.
I see discerning "required" in that example of stepping "into the light."
Being aware/responsible requires choices and sometimes my/your "choices" aren't so hot.
You call it whatever you want and I realize I not able to change you but change MAY come to me.
I was given a challenge in my early life to say "yes" to say "no" to say "maybe" and then repent or change my mind entirely as I grow toward God as a Chirstian.
GROWING up spiritually is a quest that is a inside/outside job for me.
The "word" is a guide and it is not intimidating or a death threat to me.
The REAL death threat in my life lies with "inner and outside fear" and NOT taking responsibility for my own wrong actions against others and/or against myself is degenerative to my wholesome spirit.
Saying no to harming myself and/or others and saying NO to those who would harm me and/or others is essential...no matter what "loss/cost" I might suffer I must be self-searching and stand before God as I am as I approach "right."
With Gods help I'm able to gain on viewing/acting on my everyday reality more positively...it's required of me in the best "sense" by my creator.
When "changing the things I can" and "accepting the things I can not change" I'm encouraged to know/see and LEARN the difference between appropriate actions and not.
Judging.
As I ask God to help me "judge" my daily affairs I move away from self-pity, slothfulness or blame (guilt or blaming others) and into clarity.
Gods "will" will be done.
I hope to be able to continue to accept the parts of "Gods will" that I, often grieviously, can not change and to rejoice in the "parts" that God helps me to turn into a healthy "change" or "graces" me with.
More will be revealed and less will be concealed if I keep asking God for clarity today and keep my eye on the ball.
Rigorous self-honesty demands that I no longer am willing to "play pretend."
First, I was struck by "not to judge...but to save..."
THE WORLD
He came for all. He came to save.
As I read through the second time, though, the words light and darkness struck me. Hymn #490 (1982) started going through my head over and over again.
Specifically..."I want to walk as a child of the light, I want to follow Jesus....in him there is no darkness and at all, the night and the day are both alike...the lamb is the light of the city of God, shine in my heart Lord, Jesus..."
I know this is a hymn that has come up quite a bit in recent months.
Before beginning, I cleared my head. I prayed, "Lord, I clear my head and open my heart to you. In doing so, I lift up to you in prayer ---- I clear my head and open my heart. Amen."
My sister-in-law is at a very important doctor's appointment right now, so I wanted to devote this prayer time to her, but I also wanted to be silent and allow the words to speak to me. I tend to pray my way through each day, but I don't typically sit in for devotional time until the end of the day. This was a refreshing experience. The anxiety I was beginning to feel has subsided. The rest of the day today, I will allow Jesus to light my way and fill my heart. It allowed me a necessary re-focusing.
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus.
I chose to write down my thoughts while they were fresh on my mind, so I hadn't read through the other comments.
The post above by Fred Schwartz gave me chills, in a comforting sort of way. What a beautiful imagery! I will carry that with me.
And a thought I had in relation to: Ashley | 03.18.08 - 9:35 am |
The beautiful thing is that we don't have to make up for lost time. We can meet him at the cross and continue our journey forward together with Him. Isn't that an awesome feeling?
Jake--Thank you for sharing. If there is ever a week for considering judgement, this is it. But, go easy on yourself. No person is not guilty of this. Let God be the judge. All we can do is try to emulate His love for us. Rest in his hands and find His peace and His love. Lectio Divina is always good and especially in Holy Week. You are helping us all in moving a bit closer to the Holy by emphasizing this practice. Keep it up, we will make a Benedictine out of you, yet.
Pax,
Jake, a long time ago I was judged for the way my father acted to my aunt when I was but only 5 or 6.
She read me the riot act over it (and other behaviors unkown to me by my parents when I was but a child). I said, "Auntie, why do you condemn me, who was innocent of the behavior, let alone knowing of it until now (when I was about 25 or so). What could I have done to change the way my father acted? She would hear none of it, but the rest of the family in the room did.
Eventually, she apologized to me.
I would urge you to let those old feelings go, as your brothers and sisters were only children (I assume) then. Offspring cannot be held responsible for another's actions.
Please forgive them, and build a bridge to them.
You may not agree on much, but for yourself mainly, you all need forgiveness.
I say all this not knowing if they had acctually played a hand in your turmoils as a child, but with the assumption that they did not.
Of course it is understandable, the way you reacted. Those feelings have been buried along time I bet.
I would encourage a "response" rather than a reaction.
I know your love light will shine through. Peace, Brother.
With love, VSJB
"...whoever sees me sees him who sent me. I have come as light..."
As I follow Jesus, I find my active interest in pondering "the rules" almost completely gone. It's relationship, and quality of relationship, that I care about. He is a blinding light, this Jesus (from the hymn..."'tis only the splendor of light hideth thee!"), and the light is so much more compelling than the rules.
But the rules were planted in me deeply. Once upon a time not long ago (Sunday) I witnessed some behavior that seemed questionable to me. My impulse was to correct the behavior. But, you know, the honest reason I wanted to correct the behavior was that I had been guilty of the same behavior more times than I can count. It's a familiar pattern, isn't it, to dislike something in someone else that reminds me of something I dislike about myself.
Here's where I ended up about it: Oh what the heck, he's just reaching out for relationship. And in that act, he's being light in the darkness.
Jake -- you are, I would guess, not only mourning the mother-you-might-have-had but the childhood-you-might-have-had. Cut yourself some slack. Among the people Jesus doesn't judge is YOU. It is sometimes harder for me to accept that I am forgiven than for me to forgive. For me, anyway, that is just pride.
Amen to what susankay said, Jake. You had a lot going on there, and on top of dealing with all of it, you now judge yourself for not being quite ready yet to handle it perfectly.
Trouble is, it's complex and very, very intense. For me, and perhaps for you too, sharp reminders of the abusive childhood elicit at least two separate inner responses: first, the lost, frightened, helpless, totally hurting child inside is awakened -- a child who lives within us forever, sometimes quietly, sometimes not so quietly -- and then there is our adult self who eventually stood up, named it, and condemned it for what it was: child abuse. There are few if any acts more unforgivable than child abuse. When child abusers go to prison, if they're lucky, they get a solitary cell and protective custody, because everyone -- all those other hurting kids in adult bodies -- is out to take revenge.
I'd say you handled it just fine. You attended, you were polite. You paid your respects. We who were harmed as children can and will keep trying to reach that place of complete understanding that brings the peace and forgiveness we long for. You will continue in thought and prayer to deal with what she did -- and, who knows, perhaps her liberated soul will be dealing with it, too.
But until that peace is achieved, go easy on the little guy inside, and go easy on your grown self who is understandably shocked and angry. As susankay reminded us, Jesus doesn't judge you for this, and so no one else can, not even yourself.
Be at peace, Jake.
And thank you once again for your outstanding honesty and courage.
Jake,
You were the best son that you were capable of being given the circumstances.
Is it possible that in the dusty file cabinets of your mind, that you might blame the Greeks for not rescuing you and that's why you feel as you do about them.
Perhaps you need to go to confession before Easter. Not because you sinned in how you dealt with her and the situation, but because you need to her the words "God loves you, and you're OK in his book."
And you're ok in my book, too, my brother.
Zela came though the surgery quite well, Jake -- thank you for your prayers.
"Whoever believes in me believes not in me but in him who sent me.
A good reminder during this week - that we are celebrating what the Father did for us, through the Son...and the Son so did it in the name of the Father.
"I do not judge" became juxtaposed with "whoever sees me sees him who sent me." I cannot judge, to push people to where I think they should be. I can only let the light shine forth and allow others to come to their own awareness by how I conduct myself. As I show that love in my classroom, the unloved, the abandoned, the orphaned act out less. At least maybe for today. For ten minutes. Help me, God, to keep that channel open and let your grace enfold me, so that I might show your love to the world.
Jake, you are with me every day as I reach out to certain students. Thank you for sharing your story from the "other side."
The phrase, "...[f]or I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."
Oh boy:(
A little background:
For about 25 years or so I have been involved in land use/environmental issues. To say "involved" probably understates my involvement considerably. I have been a litigant in many cases, mostly successful, but some not. I am in Orange County, CA afterall... so the courts here are whacked.
I have protected one piece of property, which to this day remains undeveloped and which we now have the money to acquire, which has serious historical, Native American, archaeological, wildlife (including several ESA species), movement corridor (within a globally significant area, as defined by others, not me) for 23 almost 24 years.
This last round has been horrible with the land owner an out-of-state casino builder with too much money and no brain. We've been in court four times (have won each time), and go to court again for a change of venue (long explanation... not applicable) within weeks... along with a mishmash of other legal issues at the same hearing (all this under CEQA except the venue change). It is a complex case in the real and legal sense.
Today, I get a bunch of e-mail to comment on a project of serious significance to our rural community by one of the biggest developers in California. I don't go to the meetings as I have "just so much time" and the time given to THAT is given to my mom. It relates to transportation issues which, for me, constitute my major emphasis. I guess this has been in the works for weeks and i stupidly assumed that someone had this under control. (We are in litigation with this company/county for a previous project now, and this will be the second on-going piece of litigation. The developer is probably THE most powerful developer in the state of CA).
So... I respond. Tell them who to call, including the phone number, and exactly what to ask for in terms of technical information needed for ME to write a proper response for the Admin Record.
And what do I get back? A bunch of gee... why should we call... I don't have time... I think what the board wants are inarguable facts... blah blah blah.
I WAS FURIOUS.
They let this hang to the last minute (almost literally and they have NO clue what they are doing but instead of making the freaking call--let alone letting me know every three weeks-even three days ago-will argue with me on line for two hours... which makes me just nuts and right now I want to strangle every freaking one of them AFTER telling them what idiots they are and how they have not been doing this for 25 years and their questions and objections are ming-bogglingly stupid and they need to just listen instead of saying.... grrrrrrr).
Well, you get the picture.
So... what did I do here in light of the scripture that jumped out at me? I judged.
THEY are idiots.
THEY are lazy.
THEY don't get it.
Actually, these things may all be true... or not.
The fact is, they need more guidance.
It took me years and years of constant reading, work, testifying... you name it to be able to do what I do. I literally quit jobs and got new ones so I could go from PComm to BoS (held at different times of day). I gave up huge portions of my life, though I didn't see it that way, at the time. I did what was needed. I'm still alive, so it must not have been THAT horrible.
I judge them because I don't want to take the time to teach them because I don't have time to teach them. I had hoped that my past experience and reputation would get us over this hump, but it hasn't.
The fault is mine, not theirs and as I type this, I am still defending my point internally... meaning I am still not accepting responsibility for what I should be teaching them and have not knowing that I will just slap them silly if they argue with me...
I have a lot of work to do on this point. I'm not a bad person, but I AM very frustrated by people with brains that somehow disrespect experience.
My bad.
I remember being at a daily mass at my favorite anglo-catholic church in Philly. The dear priest (who has since retired) said "let God be God. He's be qualified and you already have a job (paraphrased)."
That has stuck with me a lot. God will Judge and God will take care of who's right and who's maybe not.
But what I found myself reflecting on the most were the first few sentences.
Seeing God in Jesus and maybe just everyone else. I've always tried to see Christ in each and every person (although at times i faulter and flounder). If we see Christ in each other and know that we are God's beloved there shouldn't be the need to judge (for we surely couldn't judge Jesus?).
fs is back! ONly comment, hope you are well.
now back to your regularly scheduled....
IT
What IT said: Welcome Back, fs!
...and PEACE to you, Jake. My own mother's recent death brought up a lot of stuff for me, too: mixtures of sadness, and PROFOUND relief. :-/
Beyond that: I judge myself too shallow for Lectio Divina, I'm afraid---Lord have mercy! [and Easter's comin...]
Again, Welcome back fs!,
I'm flunking Lectio Divina, though this was the last passage I tried. Hard to focus and not get lost in my own baggage.
I've been thinking of you especially, Jake, due to the funeral. I started my blog last year after we attended an emotionally intense funeral and burial after my m-i-law died during Holy Week, with a restaurant lunch that followed with the entire group of displaced members of family that had suffered much, from both their childhoods and the self-destructive behaviors that followed. The focus was the missing brother who had years before committed suicide -- whose grave we visited after burying Mom and whose ex-wife and children joined us -- all people whom my husband had little or no contact with since he escaped home at the end of high school.
Having only "been there" emotionally secondhand, I cannot begin to understand all the complex emotions involved in making peace with parents who created a living hell for one's childhood, but I would reiterate what others said -- go easy on yourself. Sometimes wrapping oneself in self-protection is the wisest and most loving thing one can do for everyone involved.
Thanks so much for the welcomes, IT, JCF, and Kathy. I'm not very "back" yet, but it's really good to see your names and comments again. Missed you all.
Cany, bless you for the work you do. Even though frustrations are a part of it, think of all the good you do for God's creation.
Kathy, Lectio Divina often works best for me in a small group setting. It seems to help with focusing, and the sharing period afterwards really adds to the experience. In solitary mode, it becomes more of a personal discipline.
fs,
I'm very happy to see you.
And I you, {{{dearest Leonardo}}}.
Terry D writes:
"Serving God by serving each other.
"for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."
The rule is love one another.
Don't think about it. Do it."
Yes, but sometimes it's easier said than done. I know I for one find it very hard about 99.9999999999% of the time...
"He came to save."
Hmm. This might sound odd, but I don't like the word "save." When I hear it, it makes me think of all those evangelists that beat people over the head with the Scriptures. I'm sorry, but the sound of the very word "save" really does cause my gut muscles to clench and my mind to go right smack on the defensive. I expect to hear someone yelling, "Are YOU saved?!"
I like the word "heal" better. So much better.
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