and the time spent with your son while he's young, will be more valuable than any private university education, IMO.
state college is fine. your retirements should bare more weight over his college fund. as mentioned all the time, you can get loans for students, not for retiree!
kudos for the commitment.
I know a couple who had 4 kids, and they used to split shifts: one at home while the other worked. They admitted it was really tough and they were fortunate in that their jobs worked with that schedule. They had a really tight-knit family and they said they were really happy with the decision they made (their kids were grown). As for the state college -- it's a good idea, no matter what the economic situation costs. Save the money for grad school! 
We do arrange our schedules so we need less daycare. Right now, we work a combined 60 hours per week, and we only use 18 hours per week of daycare. The problem of doing this in an extreme way (using even less daycare or even no daycare) is that then you never ever get any time with your spouse. I couldn't do it.
I agree with you 100% with your title. We both hope to work 50% when we have kids, either that or one of us will stay home 100%.
Don't worry about college, it will happen. Contrary to all the doom and gloom out there, there is still a ton of merit and need-based money out there, and many private schools give out nice packages.
I wouldn't be too worried about using part-time daycare. I'm not big on the idea of daycare 5 days a week, but 2 or 3 days a week I think is good for the kids. Our children have certainly learned a lot about getting on with others and following (non-parental) authority, and they've been exposed to all sorts of creative and fun activities that we either wouldn't have thought of or couldn't have organised.
Commenting by HaloScan
