Best article I've read all week! As someone who's beginning his first home search, I'll be sure to heed the lesson of this story very well.
Oh so very true and sad. We tried for six months to buy a house and I went through every single one of those steps, except the last -- actually buying a house. We were going to seriously compromise on a house just so we could say "ours" but then I thought ahead to all those things -- the kitchen that would be a waste of money to update in a house that wasn't really what we wanted, the way I'd feel like a visitor in "my" own home because it wasn't where I really wanted to be and where we'd leave as soon as we could (2-3 years tops).
So, we are renting for a year, saving more money over what we have, opening up the options a second income will provide and working on buying our "dream" house -- or at least one we think we can remain for 20+ years.
Why buy a house just to feel like you're on borrowed time and are constantly waiting for the chance to get out and buy what you really want? Of course -- their are plenty of reason why and why not to do just that, we're sticking with our choice for now.
We bought when we did because we had a new baby and we couldn't afford to continue to pay $950/month for a too-small space in the neighborhood we loved. We moved across town into a perfect-sized house (definitely a starter house) with a mortgage payment of $565. It just made sense in our case.
But it does break my heart to be building such strong relationships with my neighbors, knowing all the time that our kids won't grow up together, and that I'll probably stick them with a renter for a neighbor when I leave.
I knew buying a studio that it was a starter home. But I figured I could turn it into a rental if I really wanted to keep it and move out to something bigger.
I'm a little "different". I love the starter homes. I love the potential that each one provides. Using my imagination I can see what they can become. Every little thing you do makes a huge noticable difference.
First homes, second homes, all homes I wouldn't miss it for the world. Good Times, Hard Work and Great Satisfaction.
Keep the faith - all things are possible.
We bought our dream home five years ago but your description brought back memories of those days driving neighborhoods and hitting the real estate websites.
We have a good friend that has driven a particular neighborhood so many times that the neighbors wave to him. I think they think he lives there! 
We do, however, have that list of things that we can live with "for now." White, laminate kitchen counters, a couch and loveseat that our new dog decided to teethe on, dated decorating (remember jewel tones?).
I love our house, though, and we do try to stay on top of the big stuff. Great post!
Seriously, you've just described the last 4 months of my life. I thought it might just be me.
Great post Claire...I haven't quite progressed through all the stages, but I can definitely imagine myself getting into a situation where I'd just wish I had waited for the "next house."
It's probably deeply wrong for me to be as happy as I am that my fiancee's grandfather died just in time to provide her with the money to buy a house we can live in once we get married. (Yeah, it's all her money...but I'll be paying her back over time. At the $1000/mo we've agreed on, my half will take just a hair under 13 years...but interest will be working for US instead of for a mortgage lender.)
But yeah. None of this "until we buy the next house" stuff. We're buying the house we want to die in.
>>Your own home! When you say "my house", there's a new, subtle emphasis on the word "my".
Technically you own a debt. The bank owns the home.
Also...
>>You make an offer and it's accepted.
You left out the part where you have to put in a bid that states that your bid will automatically be $1 more than the next higher bid.
But then again, a starter home in your area might not be the same as this one:
http://www.burbed.com/2006/07/27...cisco-uh-house/
"You left out the part where you have to put in a bid that states that your bid will automatically be $1 more than the next higher bid."
We did get outbid on one house, but it was priced about 30% under its market value for the neighborhood so there was a bidding frenzy. For our house, we made a full-price offer within a week of its going on the market and it got accepted right away. We would have paid 15% more for the house and just felt lucky the seller didn't really seem to be too aggressive about the price.
I like my house well enough, but it's our second starter home. Too bad we live in darn expensive places that buying a 1 bd condo, 3 bd townhouse, are more than the average home in the US.
I think my next place hopefully will be a final destination. My dad always told me 3 trys to get it right.
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