His Own Private Possession!
I'd add these things:
I hate stupid "sermons." For example, "The A,B,Cs of What Jesus Means to Me," and ones that lack the Gospel but rather spout self-help or humanistic drivel.
Doing gross things in the pulpit bothers me as well. Go take some Nyquil for Pete's sake BEFORE you preach and hock up something nasty in front of us all.
Unprepared sermons.
Singing the Gloria Patri or the Doxology as if we're in some funeral.
Praise bands that are to loud to hear the congregation singing, or even the person next to you.
Unscriptural, self-focused "praise" songs.
Great list. I think it is helpful to see what outsiders think about us, especially in this case when it is as fair and thoughtful as this one. I'll have to add this blog to my reader.
I especially agree about the touching. There is something creepy about going to a touchy church. I visited one church where deacons tried to hug me. I think it offended them when I put my hands out to stop them, but at least I avoided the hug.
Hi Tiger,
Yes, it seems to me I remember a mission trip to Mexico where the men had to share the beds, and Jeff accidentally touched you and you ended up on the floor trying to get away. 
Of course, I'm sure you are trying to wipe the memory out completely.
Don't worry, if you ever show up here, I don't think anyone will try to hug you. We had a hugger come through, and he eventually left. He gave us the willies. Not too into hugging either, except my lovely bride and two sons.
Blessings
"Doing gross things in the pulpit bothers me as well" For sure. Or anything out of the ordinary: back in my altar boy days, our Episcopal church brought in a special speaker
during lent. A very old white-haired
senior from some east coast seminary.
We had one of those old fashioned ornate pulpits, high above the nave.
He peered down at us and gave a sermon well worth recalling. Exept at the end, he forgot about the three steps in backand went head over cassock with a crash. Notes came fluttering down. I was one of the 'first responders', and the septuagenarian thankfully bounced right back up. Naturally, my only recollection of the topic or the sermon is that fearful summersault.
I agree with lots of those and could add more if I had time!
Great list.
Tim - I'm interested in this Presbyterian church of yours. Are all Presbyterians the same? I really miss the Roman Catholic Service.
Perhaps we can email each other on this one...
Edgar.
Hi Edgar,
No, not all Presbyterian churches are the same, but there are a lot of us who believe this way.
Blessings
Like BB, I'm also an Episcopalian. Here's my take on this list:
1. I've never been in a church where people waved their hands in the air.
2. Never been in a church where people yelled out anything during the sermon either. I've seen this done in videos though, usually in Black churches.
3. I agree. It's annoying when people walk in late.
4. Oh. Now I understand. The author is indeed probably speaking in regard to Black churches since the author is "brown". Or is he Hispanic? But most Hispanics attend Catholic services. Hmmm. I'm confused.
5. I would like Black people to attend our church. They don't. I think that most of them find our service too traditional and boring. I can't blame them though, because I don't attend their churches, not because I'm afraid of being a minority, but because I don't like all the shouting and handwaving.
6. I think if one is in church and knows about the bible, it should be taken for granted that others in that church are going to think you believe in the bible. Most Atheists don't attend church.
7. I think letting the kids participate in church activities, such as skits, is a good idea, although they don't do it in my church. I wish they would. It gives the children a sense of being part of the service and, if the skit is about Jesus, as it should be, it helps them to learn. I don't see anything wrong with it.
8. If he was doing just fine a couple of hours ago, why did he feel the need to go to church in the first place. If he doesn't like being told he is on the "right path" by being there, then why is he there?
9. I've never been in a church that passes out Christian business directories. Perhaps with as many Muslims that are running businesses in this country it may not be such a bad idea. I understand your point here Timothy, but there may soon be other considerations. I know I sound like a biggot now. So be it. I think a long time will pass before I'll be able to trust Muslims. I wish the "silent majority" of them would speak up!
10. I can understand that one. If I need your prayers I'll ask for them.
11. No, I wouldn't appreciate that, unless it's from one of my dearest friends in church who know I need prayer. I don't think I'd mind then, but I don't really know as it's never happened.
12. I've never heard that one before either.
13. I can't imagine being "happy" in that state, Timothy. Again, why is an Athiest who doesn't want to be saved attending church in the first place? I think you friend is begging to be saved.
14. I've never seen that. Most people who bring their kids, especially smaller ones, are so busy trying to keep them quiet they couldn't fall asleep if they tried!
15. I believe my denomination is the best one for me. I believe anyone who believes in Christ with all their heart will be saved, regardless of their denomination.
16. Yes. That irritates me too, bu
Like BB, I'm also an Episcopalian. Here's my take on this list:
1. I've never been in a church where people waved their hands in the air.
2. Never been in a church where people yelled out anything during the sermon either. I've seen this done in videos though, usually in Black churches.
3. I agree. It's annoying when people walk in late.
4. Oh. Now I understand. The author is indeed probably speaking in regard to Black churches since the author is "brown". Or is he Hispanic? But most Hispanics attend Catholic services. Hmmm. I'm confused.
5. I would like Black people to attend our church. They don't. I think that most of them find our service too traditional and boring. I can't blame them though, because I don't attend their churches, not because I'm afraid of being a minority, but because I don't like all the shouting and handwaving.
6. I think if one is in church and knows about the bible, it should be taken for granted that others in that church are going to think you believe in the bible. Most Atheists don't attend church.
7. I think letting the kids participate in church activities, such as skits, is a good idea, although they don't do it in my church. I wish they would. It gives the children a sense of being part of the service and, if the skit is about Jesus, as it should be, it helps them to learn. I don't see anything wrong with it.
8. If he was doing just fine a couple of hours ago, why did he feel the need to go to church in the first place. If he doesn't like being told he is on the "right path" by being there, then why is he there?
9. I've never been in a church that passes out Christian business directories. Perhaps with as many Muslims that are running businesses in this country it may not be such a bad idea. I understand your point here Timothy, but there may soon be other considerations. I know I sound like a biggot now. So be it. I think a long time will pass before I'll be able to trust Muslims. I wish the "silent majority" of them would speak up!
10. I can understand that one. If I need your prayers I'll ask for them.
11. No, I wouldn't appreciate that, unless it's from one of my dearest friends in church who know I need prayer. I don't think I'd mind then, but I don't really know as it's never happened.
12. I've never heard that one before either.
13. I can't imagine being "happy" in that state, Timothy. Again, why is an Athiest who doesn't want to be saved attending church in the first place? I think you friend is begging to be saved.
14. I've never seen that. Most people who bring their kids, especially smaller ones, are so busy trying to keep them quiet they couldn't fall asleep if they tried!
15. I believe my denomination is the best one for me. I believe anyone who believes in Christ with all their heart will be saved, regardless of their denomination.
16. Yes. That irritates me too, bu
Timothy, if the comment I left here is signed as "Walt" it was left by me.
Hi Gayle,
I figured it was you. My wife and I do it to each other all the time.
13. Happiness is based upon our surroundings and circumstances. The non believer can be very happy, albeit temporary happiness. The believer can be very unhappy. The difference is joy. Joy is based upon who we are in Christ, and happiness may be absent from our lives, yet joy can reside. I think joy is far more important than happiness.
14. Yes, I agree. By the time we get our two boys ready for church, we're exhausted already. But that is being a parent and we press on. It's usually the older children whose parents fall asleep.
15. I like the conservative portion of your denomination and the worship style. The two denominations are intertwined historically.
Blessings
Good list. I agree, a lot of these bother me too. My comments (not really directed at you)...
Waving hands in front of me - That's ok by me, as long as you don't expect me to do it. I wasn't born with rythym. I can either focus on movements or words, not both (forget about me focusing on tune all together).
Yell out random words - Major pain. Especially when someone is praying. I want to tell them to be quiet...
Walk in after the sermon has started - How about walk out before it's over? Or leave your cell phone on ringer?
Peform a skit - Here I differ. I think skits can add a lot to the message. If done well.
Ask if they can pray for me - What would you do if they said no?
Look at their watches in mid-sermon - oops...
Pastors ask questions with obvious answers - We had a guest speaker one who asked "who in here believes..." where the obvious answer was "no". A little boy in the middle near the front, raised his hand. The congregation nearly all cracked up laughing.
Hi Randy,
Yes, children can really bring some levity. We had a guest preacher who's 6 year old son kept answering all the rhetorical questions. It was wonderful that one time, and everyone stayed awake.
Blessings
Edited by Timothy
This guy had nothing worthy to add the conversation but childish insults, so I removed what he wrote and will ban him.
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