I dropped out of partying mode twice. Once at 18 (after a very "smokey" 2 years) and once again at 29 (after drinking myself into a stupor 5 nights a week for 2 years. Hey, I got laid a lot. (I think...)
It's all about choices. They all add up to who we are. Some of my friends from those days are still living that life and they're happy. I wouldn't be. Some don't want to hang out with me anymore cuz I don't party. Oh well...most of them have never read a book for pleasure.
Life is just a string of random happenings, some good, some bad. I take them as they come and try to learn from all of them.
The bad ones usually make the best stories...
Boo
MBR took some of the words from my mouth. As in, what seems like bad decisions now seemed like good ones at the time based on your priorities. I'm sure, positive actually, that some of your past mistakes (I don't like using the word mistakes) were the result of decisions you made to try to achieve peace in your life. There's nothing wrong with that.
I just realized that we've known each other for twenty years this summer. I never thought of you as a party girl, just someone who knew how to have fun at a party (like the time you made us get up on stage with Boney M to dance to Rasputin).
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Speaking for myself, I could use a bit more partying but it's so hard to get the right balance between drunken antics productive actions.
I remember going out to a club one evening and I decided to have just a couple of drinks. Everyone else was in their usual heavy drinking mode. I was stunned at how some of them acted and ashamed that I could only regognize the fact becasue I was sober. It occured to me that their behavior seemed normal to me when I was drunk too. It wasn't enough to make me quit partying, obviously, but it did make me appreciate the value of moderation.
You know what makes you happy. I don't think you'd be content never going out again. But I'm sure if you make the choices that keep you truly happy and act on them, no one will think any less of you.
"Funny, it takes so long for most of us to realize that. "
Gage, most people don't ever realize it. Some people take longer than others.
"And once you do, it's even harder to put it into practice."
sure is. start simple. start at home. start with you. just like learning to crawl before you can walk.
but once you can be at peace with your own life, people will notice. it is a destination that everyone want's to achieve.
then the next step is how to bring that peace to others, or bring that peace to a relationship.
relationships are tough. men and women do not play nice together.
marriages are even tougher, a spouses demands on one another, their expectations of one another are very high, & often unrealistic; lover, soulmate, friend, companion, parent, doctor, & whiipping post.
we can only do what we are capable of.
when we were younger, and ignorant, and lacking experience, and lacking patience we make different decisions than we make when we are older.
our priorities change. what's important to us changes.
that steers your perspectives and guides decisions.
things you regret from the past are not necessarily bad decisions, but based on our priorities at the time, they were good decisions.
think of what you learned from all the "bad decisions" and how your priorities are now, making your hindsight to see them as a bad move
but is still something that you learned from.
A gift to develop a talent, if you will.
another beautiful mess. join the club sister 
Can there be a happy medium between partying alchy and serious life-liv'er
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