Mean Dr. Who. Mean Dr. Who.
Heh heh heh - good one though.
'Joy was just a skinny little 14 year old girl who was way to sheltered'
Man, I could have swore that it would be much worse than that based on this sentence above.
Of course, I have a much more humiliating story.
Um, the males might like to discontinue reading....
When I experienced my menarche, my Mother proceeded to make literally about a dozen phone calls to relatives and a few of her friends bragging that her daughter is finally a woman. The humiliation was unutterable.
Beat that, Joy!
Sarah...
Darlin'... When a wife does something that cruel, selfish, and stupid... it's a husbands responsibility to take her over his knee and bust her ass.
Menarche? Is that some french word for, um, cycle?
Do you know that my father-in-law refused to go buy feminine products for my wife and her mother and sister?
It's no big deal to me. I really hate when Always changes their stupid logos, which they have done twice in the past few years, so that I have to figure out the right ones to get again for Mrs. Astro. Dadgummit.
Astro = pussywhipped
Hey, buying femine products for your wife is announcing to all the other guys present that yes, I have a woman and she fertile. Sarah, it's pretty close between the stories, Joy was there in person for her embarassament, if your mom had announced it at large family gathering you would have won for sure!
Nate...it was at the front door, first thing when y'all saw me, y'all were standing in the doorway together she said "Look, Nate! Joy got boobies!" I turned beet red and 'bout hit my sister.
and i am proud of them....now.
BTW, I would never ask Vox to buy them for me.
it was prolly obvious...but that anon was me...joy
Menarche is just a technical word for something I'd rather not be too explicit with.
She felt bad afterwards, Nate, she was just caught up in it - I suppose.
Well, Jay already announced that he is never going to buy them for me. I was like, 'sheesh, hon, it's not like they are dirty. I'd never have you touch THOSE'..he's like, 'I don't care'. He was quite adamant about it...
It's not too far off from a family gathering..I was still there when she made these phone calls although I didn't hear their reactions (thank goodness!).
Hey Joy, are you saying that you weren't proud of them, then?
...um..it's not like I asked him or anything...ok, I did but only to see his reaction! Alright, I'm going to leave before I incriminate myself further....
In Julie's defense.. the last time she saw her little sister she was practically flat chested.. and this time she was... ummmm... far far from it...
She just said what we were both thinking.
i have a story that beats that... involving drill team tryouts in high school and a little leotard.. and.. nevermind...
ack! i guess all the hypno-therapy to remove that memory from my mind isn't working after all!!
it's amazing any of us survive adolescence in tact!! 
No no no no.... You don't get away with that. I told my eyeliner story.. and Joy and Sarah shared their moments of humilation.
You don't drop a hint like that Tonya, and then scurry off into the darkness. Let's hear it.
Nate, I ain't afraid to buy them feminine napkins. What are they going to do, turn me into a woman? Not likely.
I've been right there at the birth of my three kids, too.
I've actually had checkout girls at the grocery store tell me how surprised they are to see me buying those things.
Why do the pad and diaper commercials always use blue-colored water? The former should use red water and the latter yellow, wouldn't you think? There is actually that one recent ad with a red period flying around the screen. That's the closest I've seen them come.
I watch too much dang tv...
Astro... I will not allow this is devolve into a pad commercial conversation. Those commercials make for the most uncomforatable moments in any given day.
Sitting through one is only slightly less uncomfortable than say... a dinner table conversation about anal sex.
The things that float around in our minds... pretty scary... and we're good Christian men, too.
lol @ nate!! well, at everyone, really...
*sigh*
well, i'm 15 or so, soph. in HS. drill team tryouts. i'm nearly undone with nervousness.. REALLY wanted to make it. anyway, i already feel weird walking around in a borrowed leotard thingie through just throngs of similarly clad girls and parents and other specimens who probably shouldn't have been there. i mention something about my 'big fat stomach' to a friend and this weird old fart says out of nowhere 'heh, well if you ain't got a little extra to hold on to, you ain't got nuthin' and i basically run in the other direction. anyway, i make the first cut. i'm feeling pretty good now. i make the second cut. alright! i'm practically strutting around and thinking being in a leotard might not be so bad after all. so.. i'm standing there with my chest held high and one of the older girls.. heads my direction. one of the officers for next year. and i'm like, 'wow. she's coming to talk to me! i'm cool!
cont.
and she leans over and whispers in my ear... 'um, tonya, is that your name? well, i think you started your period.' i was utterly dumbfounded and look down.. and there on my nice pink tights.... aaaggghhh!! a girls worst possible nightmare!!! i honestly felt that i might pass out.. so i run through the crowds desperate for a bathroom with my poor friend, totally unaware, following. i'm in the bathroom crying my eys out, (and thinking that i have to move now because how can i ever leave that bathroom much less see any of those people again)..
cont.
cont.
all my very carefully applied mascara streaming down my face. and the call comes out for the final round. what can i do??? so my friend finally says.. 'here, just put these on.' and gives me her shorts to put on over my leotard. so now she's just sort of hiding in the girls bathroom with nothing but underwear on. i try to wipe the stuff off my face and wobble out of the bathroom and get in line... anyway.. no i didn't make it that year, but by crackey i tried out again the next year and did make it...
*shudder*
gee, thanks nate for making relive all that!!!
OK... I have to admit I feel a little ashamed now. I was thinking this was gonna be a, "and my boob feel out in front of everyone!" story.
My bad boys. I didn't mean to expose you to that.
Jeez, sorry Tonya...you poor thing.
You had better watch with that spelling, there, Nate! (boob feel)
see!!!
i tried to tell you!!!!
aggghhh... it's like it's happening all over again!!!!
hehehehe
Nate: don't have a problem buying the fem products but I will not buy make up for her. It is obvious the fem products are for the wife but w/ makeup the checkout girls might think your a cross dressing pervert about to make yourself all pretty for the evening.
JohnR, me too. She knows she has to buy her own makeup. One time she asked me to get some for her, and I got the wrong kind. I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not...
I am usually the one that goes grocery shopping. I actually enjoy it, and it gives me a chance to spend time with one of the kids by themselves.
'Sitting through one is only slightly less uncomfortable than say... a dinner table conversation about anal sex.'
ROFL
I always look at the men in the room when those commercials show up - see if I can catch anything in the expressions on their faces.
Tonya, ok, I admit - you beat both me and Joy. That was a clear home run.
Astro, I think maybe Nate mis-spelled that on purpose...
Don't know what the big deal about buying that stuff is - Chris hasn't had to do it for me yet, because I usually do the shopping, but my dad used to get them for my mom and me all the time, and it was no big deal. Astro, we used to tear the box lid off for him, so he would get the right kind, otherwise all of the brands, colors, and sizes confused him.
As for men buying make up, I would never send one for it because he would invariable bring the wrong thing home. Besides, when do you need make-up in an emergency? I was in Wal-Mart the other day, though, and a man approached me in the "beauty" section and asked me to help him - his wife had sent him out for toner and he thought it was foundation - I set him straight. He and his poor son were walking around totally lost. I thought it was cute.
RJK,
it's simple really... if we see a guy buying that stuff, we assume he's pussywhipped. Are we right 100% of the time? No. Only about 95%.
Tonya:
but see, you overcame the trial and got in the next year... and you rocked! You also walked away from the whole "drill-team" thing with something that all those other hussies didn't.... ME!
hubby...
ain't it the truth, baby, ain't it the truth!!!
they all still hate me for that!
When I was in college I worked at a Pizza Hut. Prom night we had a bunch of high school kids in. They were decked out in formals.
This one cute girl had a strapless backless dress on. She dropped something under the table. I guess strapless dresses are held up by plastic rods. Anyway she caught one of the rods on the front of the dress on the underside of the table. When she stood up the front of the dress didn’t.
I (and everybody else, the place was packed) could see from her navel up.
Nate, I have to agree 16 year old breasts can cause a lot of comments.
She stood there in shock, for what seemed like forever, before she covered herself and ran to the bathroom, with the dress almost falling off.
Nobody said a word.
When she came out she was beat red and looked like she would cry. Her date got up from the table, I guess to leave. The whole place was still silent and everybody was watching her.
She started laughing, and the whole place started cracking up
Res... so was she hot?
Too bad those camera phones weren't invented yet...
Just kidding.
You know, we got caught up in these stories, and I forgot my comment about how I am dreading when my daughters get to this age. I can already tell that both my girls are going to be babes. I'm going to have to be well-armed by then to keep the boys out. I'm sure my son will help me protect his sisters' purity as well.
12 years until the oldest is 16...
Astro,
So far I only have a little boy... but I know for a fact I'm gonna end up with at least one little girl... so let me tell you my plan...
no wait... I better blog on this...
Hot?
Oh yes, even before the show.
BTW this story is my one and only experience with 16 year olds.
“C” can be so above average.
no...back then was still an awkward stage...i wasn't proud yet...i had not quite learned the benefits of having them...*evil grin*
Nate, how do you know for a fact? Or maybe you just want to keep having them until one of them turns out to be a girl...
Nate's gonna have a girl cuz he's got a girl in him.
Y'all aren't turnin' this thread into one of those 'I'm a man cuz I act like, wear clothes like, think like a girl threads are ya'?
JAC, ya lost me there buddy. I'm not quite sure who you are insulting.
Res
C means perfection doesnt it?
Is Red adequately prepared for Joy?
questions questions. Inquiring minds want to know. (for those of you old enough to remember that)
i don't know if anyone will ever be adequately prepared for me...but Red is trying to figger such things out...still no outcome yet.
of course, i'm leaving the country in august for a year teaching abroad...so it's bad timing in the first place
That's JAC'III' there Junior,
Was I insulting somebody?
I was just wonderin' if ya'll were a bunch of those panty wearin' types that think they prove their manhood by exhibiting femininity. You know - wearing pink shirts, shedding tears, apologizing, empathizing.... that stuff.
If it ain't so, speak up. Simple question.
JACIII
Lol
Nate in pink *anything* would be absolutely hillarious! But if you scroll down the blog a bit you can read of him in a blue lace teddy. Also quite the hillarious tale.
I do believe the newbie... What was that Nancy?? JAC4 was it?
I believe he was refering to the first bit of this thread.. when were talking about guys buying feminine products...
for the record I'm siding with JAC4 on that. You don't prove your manhood by acting like a damned woman.
Hey Nate, do you want to know my method for improving your chances of having a boy or a girl?
Actually, I may have already written it here but I can't remember.
It worked for us, though, although for our seven month old girl, we weren't really trying.
Well, trying for a girl is a lot more fun!
Right you are Natalie,
Some things are simply beneath a man.
JACIII
She's helping me type right now, by the way...when she isn't grabbing my beard! (the baby, not Mrs. Astro)
JACIII, are we afraid of a package of maxi pads?
Astro... depth of penetration, and the number of orgasms the female has prior to ejaculation are factors in the sex of the child... the deeper, the more, the more likely the child will be a boy.
I have a son by the way.
Well, it also helps if the father hasn't ejaculated for a couple of days before, and if the copulation occurs on the day of ovulation.
Ha ha...what am I, a freaking obstetrician?
Nate that sounds like bragging to me! You one of those "this:
>>
Dagnabit, the other arrows dissapeared!
i'm gonna have to stop reading this...i'm still too sheltered for this type of discussion
Erik... I need not brag. I am Legend.
Confound it, the whole rest of the comment dissapeared too! Just as well I guess
Sucks to be blonde sometimes
I have to concur w/ astrosmith on the ejaculation interval. His thesis is in harmony w/ the old wives tales. - Gotta be true.
Afraid of maxipads, Astrosmith? These things are beneath me - as I said earlier. I love the logic, that's how we got 'homophobic' for a word.
One must not let fad or fashion define his tolerance.
Well, if you love your wife, sometimes you have to buy the damn things. I'm not saying I enjoy it.
Now, to get a girl, just copulate like rabbits for several days in a row around the day of ovulation. Lots more fun that way.
This just increases the CHANCE of one or the other, it's not a guarantee. However, I will say that this has held true for our girl, boy, and girl. Actually, the only one we were actively trying to have was the first one...
Astrosmith,
I don't mean to sound condescending, You seem like a good guy. I'm telling you this for your own good.
If you love your wife you will NOT buy here unmentionables for her. You risk your stature as absolute authority in your housesold.
You young fella's have been so inundated with newage crap yer twisted around. See, women have a cuckolding instinct. While they don't often literally cuckold a man, they will symbolically cuckold him by browbeating him into doing things that diminish him. Same urge - same effect in her eyes.
Trust me - your wife doesn't want a man she has made less of.
There's a lot of truth in that.
We have to get Vox and JAC together. Between the three of us... we have this girl thing figgered.
as a girl...can i support ya, JAC?
JAC, refresh the blog. there's a story you'll appreciate. You sound like a man's man... and man's man has to be a car man at heart.
Thanks, Joy.
By the way, Congrats on the boobies!
Thanks JAC...they've served me well thus far in life....hehe
No finer thing has God wrought.
Can I get an 'amen' fellas??
A-men!
Hey Nate,
This is a pretty cool blog. Mind if I hang out here every now and again?
"dinner table conversation about anal sex". When my wife was in residency, sometimes the residents and their spouses would all go out to dinner together. Of course, they would talk shop. I would frequently have to say something like this: "Uh, you need to keep your voices down. The people at the next table are turning green." Or, "Why don't you change the subject. You're emptying out the restaurant." Sometime I'll have to have my wife blog about the time she had to perform a procedure you won't find in the CPT or DSM-IV books.
To make sure you have a daughter - have the wife crunch on ice a few times a day in the early months. Freezes 'em right off.
Joy,
I’m dying to know, did you send the topless pic?
I know porcus sent one, but who else did?
no, but i did show nate a good cleavage pic of me in my new pjs that he refused to use even after i told him he could. what's hotter than a cute chica in comfy pjs?
your question got me to thinkin' if nate has ever had the opportunity to see me topless. there was one time when i was takin' a shower at their house. for some odd reason, there was a long, slender window in the shower that looked into the backyard. thankfully dr.who had partially frosted it. well, there i am, praying to God that none of the neighbors see me, when suddenly i see nate's dog running across the backyard with nate chasin' after him. i don't know if nate ever noticed me, but i ducked rather quickly. he never said anything, so i think he missed his opportunity.
joy
'You don't prove your manhood by acting like a damned woman.'
Oh gosh, this is getting ridiculous...so what, buying feminine hygiene products doesn't make you feminine, wearing them do!
'I have a son by the way.'
I am glad that this hasn't reduced itself to a 'I'm better at sex than you' discussion...
'While they don't often literally cuckold a man, they will symbolically cuckold him by browbeating him into doing things that diminish him. Same urge - same effect in her eyes.'
*snort* I will do that to *every* man except for Jay. This is why I enjoy so much the 'Mrs. Doubtfire jokes' (recent eg: Vox's eyeliner), esp. with men who feel too uppity about their masculinity *clears my throat@Nate*..well, I would do it to Nate more often, but I fear that he will take it much too seriously. You see, I choose to make Jay feel like a man..yet, with every other guy, it's fair game! And Jay buying me unmentionables - ok, he will not do it anyways -
lol@Joy
JACIII says;"Afraid of maxipads, Astrosmith? These things are beneath me "
Uh, yeah, that's how they're generally used. Soooo, what are you trying to say?
lol@Bill..JAC, you've got some explainin' to do.
Nate-
Ya missed your chance!!!! And by the way, y'all, the pic that Nate ain't postin'..... it's worth it. Yeah, it's worth it. Heh heh heh.
I'll not respond to potty humor.
Might laugh though......
I guess that is beneath you too
I think the only time Daisycat ever asked me to buy her feminine products has to be close to fifteen years ago, and if I recall correctly I bought the wrong kind, and that was the end of that.
In all honesty I can't even imagine her asking me to now.
After this much time, I think we've pretty much got this division of labor thing worked out, though she still would prefer a troop of foot-servants to do her bidding.
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