oh my gosh, nate...
you crazy crazy man...
i'd laugh if i didn't think you were more than halfway serious!!!
I've got a friend of mine who has a 2 year old little girl, and he's already is a lawyer... wants to be a judge by the time she's 13-14. At that time, when she's ready to go on her 1st date, all of her "uncles" will be there, and we are well armed. I figure the sight of 5-6 knuckle dragging old men, cleaning an arsenal, between all of us, that could outfit a decent sized police force should be enough to scare them away.
If that doesn't work, being a judge, he can always say "Kid, I'll kill you AND I'll get away with it, too."
I figure he'll do it, too.
I plan on practicing field stripping my AR whenever anyone shows up for a first date. And I'll probably be wearing camo, with a boonie hat, or maybe a "Rebel Flag" doo-rag. Maybe have The Deer Hunter playing on the TV, and yammer on about how it's my favorite movie next to Clockwork orange and Apocalypse Now. Then give him a serious talk about My Little Girl.
Bill,
When I was in Jr High I asked a girl to go to a youth group function. Her dad had his entire gun collection out cleaning it when I showed up to pick her up. He got slightly pissed when he realized I was more interested in his colts than his daughter.
He demanded to know how I knew so much about guns. It got worse when I told him the old man and many of my cousins were USMC and that my 2nd cousin was a DI and on the 45 comp team and they had been teaching me to shoot and he scored me as expert.
Our little talk went down hill from there fast.
That's really odd. Generally speaking, folks that know much about firearms are safer and more polite than those that don't.
Yeah, Nate. That will work.
Speaking of big brains...do you know how hard it is to find size 8 hats?
Bill, you took the words right outta my mouth. I was going to tell Nate to clean his biggest guns at the kitchen counter when the poor fella gets introduced. Occasionally look down the barrel and mutter to yourself about how the neighbors are going to get it if they throw another party.
Teenage girls are just plain scarry and I'm 16. Haha. Good look to you man.
Forgot one thing, make sure to show off your hollow points.
Nate:
Here's an option that doesn't require bloodshed (less fun, I know, but not such a long jail sentence). Get a chrome skull and mount it on your car's hood. When the boy arrives for the first date, take him and show him your hood ornament. Let him get a good long look, then put your arm around him and say quietly in his ear: "That's what happened to the last little punk who tried something funny with my daughter. But it's our little secret, right? Looky there how that chrome coating catches the sun's rays. Boy was good fer somethin', after all." If the kid doesn't scream and run or immediately need a change of shorts, ya know ya got a keeper.
All Kiddin' aside Res, if a boy shows up and we get to talk guns, I'll be a happy camper. He can't impregnate my pt-101.
The real plan of course is to be smoking sittin on the porch swing with my sidearm on my hip.. preparing to light a stogey..
I figure right before they leave.. I'll put the end of the cigar in the cutter and say... "Have her home by 9:00."
*** SNIP ***
You could just chaperone.
BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I figure any girls I have just plain wont date till *after* they are married. Its all so much easier and less complicated that way.
No fuss, no mess. And blood is SO hard to get out of the carpets!
Wait, I forgot, Nate lives in West Virginia. He's gonna have problems if his family starts takin' after the locals.
*runs and hides in shame at the bad joke* 
oh, believe me...nate is getting the hell out of hell as soon as possible!....NEXT YEAR!!!
Next year's right!
I get paroled in December of 05 baby!
Will Dr. Who's residency be over or something?
Right-o Astro.
sweet...
So where are y'all thinking of moving after that? Back to Tennessee?
Somewhere in the By God south.
God's Country!
Not Massachusetts?
Actually, my current job is getting kind of boring, so I'm looking to find another job in Colorado or Arizona. I had one bite so far in CO, but they didn't get the contract.
I wish I could talk more about my job, but I've chosen not to. I'm an aerospace engineer, and I live in the Dallas area, so you can get pretty close on your own.
My wife's cousin is a sgt on the local PD and he says that he's going to insist on the boyfriend coming in to meet him. He'll meet him at the front door in uniform with his hand on his service piece.
I married into a family of six girls. The rule of the house was that any potential date had to visit with Ma and Pa a week in advance of the first date. This visit meant showing up, when the whole extended family would be there.
In an hour or two the fellow got to hear plenty of stories (some actually true) about relatives who have been in trouble with the law. A couple fellows around 300 lbs take you out back and ask what your intentions are. They are explicit about what will happen if she isn't treated with the highest regard.
Back inside, a few more scary Halloween stories are told. The girls themselves were in on this, telling stories to see what a potential date was made of. They'd tell stories about being afraid to even go to the bathroom at night, because their Dad might think it was a prowler, and he always had a loaded gun with him at all times.
It's been 16 years of strong marriage. But let me tell you - no sex until the wedding night.
BTW, I got the top pick (of three red-heads and three blondes), and it didn't take us long to get married. After they saw that it could be done without imminent death, a few other fellows married into the family within a year of our marriage. And no, I don't do the shopping.
When I started dating my wife, my ex-Marine redneck heavy equipment operator FIL pulled me in to his office and said, "Son, I've got a .45, a backhoe, and plenty of acreage... and nobody's gonna miss you."
Funny thing is, when he walked her up the aisle, he leaned over, whispered in my ear and said "Babe, don't bring her back", started laughing and walked away. (I think I was more scared then.)
When I married, my Wife's 14-year old cousin was staying with us. She became my little sister/daughter, affectionately called "the Nanny Goat".
Well, before long, the Nanny Goat grows up into a very pretty young lady, moves out for college and her first year in, she fell in love.
I met him once, early on, towered over him by about nine inches, and scowled the entire time his was here. The Nanny Goat told my Wife that I had scared him silly. Good!
A month before the wedding, I told the Nanny Goat that I wanted to see him and that made her nervous.
When they arrived, I had out five of my guns, and was cleaning them, and told him to sit down and then told my Wife and the Nanny Goat to take off.
They did- with trepidation.
I did not say a word to him until I was done cleaning, and then told him to load up the 12-Gauge and ammo into the truck, and holstered the .45's.
--continued
--continued
I took him to the range and he informed me that he had never fired a gun before. I told him that was all right, as I was going to teach him to ensure that he understands what his duty is as a husband.
I then preceded to one-hole a couple of silhouettes with both .45's and decimated another with the 12-gauge. It was his turn and after a bit, he did fairly well.
Time to go home.
We arrived back to the house, he started to go in, and I stopped him. I took him to the back yard and made him get a shovel out storage. I then took him to the farthest part of back yard and told him to dig. He was shocked but proceeded.
After fifteen minutes, I asked him if he understood that if he ever hit or harmed her or their children, what would happen- he said he did.
I then made him refill the hole and took him inside for a cool drink of water.
I have three more daughters…
I figure I'll have the young man over for dinner. Instead of using a normal carving knife I'll use my KA-BAR. Then I'll look him in the eye and say, "You could just drop a hotdog on this and it would be cut it in half".
Lol I love all the plans everyone has laid out.
I have to ask the question: Seeing as there are so many umm less than wholesome women out there and will be more when your little boys grow up, what ya gonna do for them?
Well.. I can't speak for the other boys... But as for Jeb... I figure I'll teach him that you don't swim in another man's pool.
I'm going to have my boys memorize Proverbs 5.
3The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet,
her soft words are oh so smooth.
4But it won't be long before she's gravel in your mouth,
a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.
5She's dancing down the primrose path to Death;
she's headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.
This is pretty much exactly the plan I had for when I have a daughter reach that age.
You really only need to kill one. That's all. I just never figured the sentence could be cut that short.
Also, there is a great scene, really the only scene worth watching this movie for, in Bad Boys II where a boy stops by to pick up Martin Lawrence's daughter for a date.
I laughed so hard it hurt.
rent the movie just for that scene.
[taking notes for when my two beautiful daughters get older]
Great stuff. Familiar stuff, too, speaking from my end of things.
I've set the stage by telling them the order of things. Get married. Then have children. Maybe date before they get married. Maybe.
"Daddy, when can I go on a date?"
"When you're 28."
"Oh, OK. That's not too long."
While I appreciate all of the over protective father posturing (among those of you who don't have girls yet anyway). I'm curious as to what age you will allow your girls to go out on a real date and don't give me any of that when she's married crap, I seriously want to know. BTW, I loved the more "subtle" intimidations the best. Those poor boys, I grew up with a single mom, but 11 uncles, most of whom where in the military and all of whom owned firearms. She was the baby of her family and I'm her baby, you can imagine how that goes.
I imagine that should I ever have children, and should one of them be a girl, I will never be happy with her dating. However, I think that I would let her "date" at 18. I don't know why, probably just because if things stay the same, that's when she'll go off to college and I won't be able to stop her anyway.
And just so there's no confusion, I'm not married, I have no children, and I'm still riding the V-train
The V-train... that's funny! (At least from where I'm sittin' )
I'm glad I amuse some people :D
SB
I am disappointed you dont like my plan 
But seriously, I have NO idea how I will handle that. There are just some things that I do not want to really have to answer/explain. Getting caught, the birds and the bees and dating are perhaps the top 3.
All I can say for sure is that my approval of the guy will be required before they date. And I don't think 16 is too early, but again, with my approval.
SpaceBunny,
My wife has asked me the same thing, and frankly, I am thinking sixteen- though I really mean when they are married.
There are already ground rules though, and they will be chaperoned.
My reason is simple, I know what I was like then, and I see what the boys are like today.
Each of my daughter’s courters will be greeted with me cleaning my guns every time...
SB
I always behaved honorably towards my dates. I may be a little more trusting if we ever have kids or adopt. (Were fast running out of time if we are to ever have children).
I think girls are less likely to act “sluty” if they see that their dad isn’t drawn to that. I also think that girls that have a close loving relationship with their dad are less likely to be drawn to sex as a way to impress or “get” a boy.
I joke about 30 being a good age. If I had a daughter that had a good young man, I’d happily walk her down the aisle anytime after high school.
Thanks guys, I know it's hard to know how exactly you would/will handle these things when you don't have daughters of datable age right now. I was allowed to start dating when I was 15, but mostly did group things with my friends and older brother all through HS. I had a lot more fun that way I think. Also, growing up in a very small town meant that my mom knew most of the boys in town as well as their parents, it probably made her job a bit easier.
I plan on letting my daughter date when I think she's ready to date, probably around 17-18ish. Group dates at first, then individual dates after I approve the guy. Do this till she's maybe 19-20, then she's on her own. I'll encourage her to marry early, hopefully she'll be married by about 21 or thereabouts.
Also, I have no problem letting her and future hubby live at our house while they finish up college, save for house, whatever.
IMHO, dating for 10 years then marrying just teaches you to fall in and out of love.
SB:
I have twin daughters who just turned 6 last Saturday. I am quite afraid that they are going to be babes!
When the time comes (certainly not before 16), my wife and I plan to allow them to have a boy over at our house to visit with the family and 'hang out'. That will be the extent of their dating at first. At such time as we are convinced that the boy is serious and upstanding, we may consider group dating, but never anything where they are 'just the 2 of them'.
That's our plan through high school, anyway.
And that actually fits well with how our family functions. Most things we do are as a family, either immediate, extended or church family. Their dating should be no different.
My wife and I have discussed this and we feel group activities at 15 are appropriate (with our approval). Age 16 for individual dates, but no exclusive dating until at least a couple of years later (no "going steady"). Once they hit college, just spend a lot of time on our knees praying.
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