Wow, and I thought was bad...
Wow, and I thought [insert church here] was bad...
Sorry, the symbol I used the first time got turned into an html tag, somehow...
Lovely story, Nate. One to share with the whole family.
Anonymous was me.
Nate - you ever consider stand up comedy?
Outrageously funny. I've been in a few wildly charismatic churches, but never saw anything like this.
Do you think they had restrooms at the church?
Oh man, holy crap, that was funny! ROTFLMAO!
I can't believe that people actually do this stuff.
How did this woman know not to wear panties that day? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man....
Demons anything like cats in marking their territory?
When Jesse Jackson said "Stay out da Bushes," well, now ya know why.
Well, believe it or not, I've been to churches like that too - in fact, one church I went to regularly (my grandparents went there) was pretty much like that in the service every couple months.
I remember one woman dribbling and drooling because of 'demons'. I remember that a girl's epilepsy was blamed on demons, especially when she would fall over onto concrete or something like that.
I remember the bogus 'words of knowledge'..well, I knew a couple of them were bogus because the dude doing the telling in one didn't know I was there and supposedly God had counted everyone that was there. Another time, a dude came up to me and told me that I'd be friends with this one chick there forever. Um, we aren't friends anymore. I haven't spoken to her in a long time.
Just crazy stuff - and I'm not discounting the existence of demons, prophetic, and all that stuff - there is just a lack of discernment. People get hyped up about the fruity, flaky things it seems..and what is usually glaring about folks like that is..
well, this one church had serious authority issues. Bickering and backstabbing was constant. There was also sexual immorality there (although not among the leadership). Control and Power Issues, etc...messed up. I'll never forget it.
I wonder whether the Toronto Airport has those same kinds of issues...
In situations like this, I turn to the Reverend Richard Pryor...
"You know God... There's a person here, that's possessed... And we was wonderin' - I know you're busy. I've checked your schedule... And, if you don't mind, the devil's just actin' a motherf****n fool, could you exorcise this motherf****r to Cleveland someplace?"
I bet you were completely freaked out, bein a good methodist boy and all. Nothing like having your world view radically messed with in such a immediately visceral way.
I would have paid money to have seen your eyes bug out.
Yes I grew up in a Assembly of God church. I never saw any pee buckets but I sure saw and heard a lot of speaking in tongues.
When I got older I started doing bible research and what Sarah said about there being a lack of discernment in some churches hits the nail on the head. It's like people carry around the rule book (the bible) while at church but never read it for themselves. Everything having to do with dealing with spirits is enumerated in the new testament.
You guys all seriously *need* to get the audio book Counterfeit Revival by Hank Hanegraaff. Be sure to get the audio book, not the print version. It's about 75% audio of these sorts of church services. It's eerie how just listening to the sound removed from the experience changes things.
I've been to several Charismatic churches and it's amazing that people think this is from God.
Oops, I got a little sloppy there, I didn't mean to denigrate all Charismatic churches, just the ones that condone things like the so-called Toronto Blessing and similar things.
for those of you who know me...i don't think the emerging church is headed in this direction...heh.
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
You could insert Church of Christ guy and Christian Church guy, and have the C of C guy ask him if he likes instrumental music, and then push him off!
We had a guest preacher yesterday at church, and he was pretty funny. He actually joked about baptism, and how one time he had someone who wouldn't bend their knees, so some part of her body was still above the water and therefore it wouldn't count. So, an older minister started making waves in the baptistry so that, for one saving instant, she was completely submerged. LOL!
Kamikaze Terrorist?
Explosively Propelled Terrorist?
Self
Explosive
Perverse
Terrorist
In
Cognito?
Nitro
Igniting
Groupie
Generating
Explosive
Rage?
Dennis S,
Are you sure you have the right thread?
Dagnabit - I are confusicated. Will post on other thread - sorry.
Res, hay-larious story.
I haven't had time to read naught but the title...anybody else think of Hillclitry when they read the phrase 'Demon Bush'?
...like pushing it into an electric pencil sharpener...yeesh.
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