My understanding is that the people used to throw stones at government officials (the king's carriage, etc.)...it speaks volumes of our present society that people actually give a shit about public officials - to the extent of "choosing" one to rule over them - and are not actively mocking and threatening every one of them at every turn, publicly.
Seems a whole sight better than our current affair.
If you're gonna do the whole Pomp and Circumstance bit, it should at least be done right.
I like it...
"I shall degree that any government official that speaks publicly... or in any government meeting or official capacity... must only speak in rhyme."
So they will create a Department of Rhyme; staff it with all sorts of creative people to advise congressmen on how to fulfill their rhythmic obligations; stock it with computers and supplies and lyrical source material. More money.
"Further more... all laws must be written in iambic tetrameter and must also rhyme."
The DoR just doubled in size. More money.
"In addition to these rules I would also require ridiculously silly parades once a month... "
Parade organizers; police for crowd control; silly walk instructors to train the less-capable congressmen. More money.
"There would also be a hat... resembling a penguin astride a massive pineapple... which would be warn by anyone speaking in congress."
A hat; a penguin; a pineapple; a commission to solicit designs and select the final hat design; a handsome commission to the winning designer; a host of security measures to guard and protect this "cherished national treasure". More money.
Boy, for someone advocating smaller government, you sure do want to force them to spend an awful lot of my tax dollars. 
And a belated Merry Christmas to you and yours, too.
Nate issues his decree and suddenly nobody wants to enter into politics.
Great idea, Nate.
I love it.
My understanding is that the people used to throw stones at government officials (the king's carriage, etc.)...it speaks volumes of our present society that people actually give a shit about public officials - to the extent of "choosing" one to rule over them - and are not actively mocking and threatening every one of them at every turn, publicly.
bw | 12.28.07 - 2:16 pm | #
I don't know. Seems to me there's plenty of shit flung at them. Left, right and center.
WB
you miss the point. The creation of such a department would be government growth no doubt... but the department would only exist to harass the government... NOT the people.
Plus.. think of the bureacracy! Every bill would have to be submitted to them for rhyming before it could be deliberated on... who knows what the bill would say when it came out! It would be almost completely unpredictable!
Its just a glorious catastrophe waiting to happen!
It is probably more humane to just open a hunting season.
Limit (per day): 6 Lawyers, 3 Politicians, 12 Bureaucrats. Feminists may be harvested without limit.
Season Dates: January 1- December 31.
Shooting hours: Sunrise to Sunset
Legal methods: Firearms shall be capable of producing 2,500 foot pounds of energy at the muzzle. Archery equipment is legal, caution should be used with feminists.
Protected Species: Bureaucrats with the handle Equus Pallidus or EP, are protected species and may not be harvested, provided he quits his job.
Is this the ATF, bitch? GOOD. About time. I'm tanked.
Nate - it would also immensly speed up government business by removing all chairs from meeting room.
Is that John Cleese Nate?
Or are you thinking 'I want to be a pompous pom and that's how I'll walk to the train station in my new land'
it is in fact John Cleese. I have no desire to be a pom hoss.
Panama has my attention though
Jamie... Just so we know the pecking order here... did any major producers of liquor or beer send you a Christmas present this year?
Because Makers Mark sent me a pretty nice one.
Oi, I got to write my name on a barrel motherfucker, but I didn't, do they expect Aussies to lift a finger bitch?
piss off you pommy bastard. They wouldn't give the honour to no damned aussie soccer fan.
Oi, I got the label here, and the website, every individual that buys Maker's gets a turn it seems, beatch!
Declaration of Independence bitch!
What would you aussie cunts kow about the declaration of independence? You didn't let go of the pom tit until they made ya.
Ha ha ha, we learnt that being too passionate just leads to SHIT ALL.
Nice plug w/ the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks.
Maybe Dr. Dre could be the president under your requirements.
Ya drink like a limey... a GIRL limey!
I got a coffee now bitch! Let's get it on! I got some lined up after this!
How's the South beatch!
The South is God's country son! Not like some damned ex pom penal colony!
Alright... fine.... fuck it.. I'm in! I'm breakin' out the Bookers. 127 proof bitch!
Care to shoot with me?
Okay...
I crank out my shit.
Bookers!
I got 1792 here on my end.
Bourbons Round the World here, eh?
127 proof, speak metric system bitch.
I got 18% staring me here, I'll go that, but let's face it, I've been steady in this game since like 9 PM last night, Corona's is like 2pac in the 90s to me motherfucker, it's 9:30 AM. Word that shit up.
You're dirtying your name Nate, you know you can't go to me, I am on another level of embarrassment, you still have some credibility man, let it go. Let it go.
Boo.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Untouchables in the house.
Jamie... you jolly great vagina... 127 proof... to convert to % alchohol you divide by 2.
2!
18%??? You bitch!
I'm talking 63.5%!
Huh?
Speaka Aussiea
bookers = 63.5 percent alchohol son.
Drink like a man!
Bookers? So I'm getting challenged to new labels? I thought it was Maker's?
Makers is nice... its a starter bourbon.
Move on to the mens drinks son.
So I gotta get Booker's now? Holy crap, that's my Sat night then.
Oi Bitch, I'm gonna look for that, I may crash, first, but I'll be back, my nigga.
Yes. Yes I WILL.
Wombat!!
ok... now we know jamie is officialy pissed... he's refered to me as "my nigga"
Nate, just keep plugging him with stronger drink. The boy needs it. He's a little...green, if you know what I'm talking about.
I'm up again.
Sooo? What happened?
It's like surveying a battlefield.
Oh I see I whipped Nate's arse.
To be expected.
I shall go on a quest. I shall get Bookers. I shall win Round 2 as well.
But first, I eat cheeseburgers.
Whipped what? Nate's right here sugarbritches. Bring it!
Oh you woke up in your own vomit did you, just cleaning yourself off as you type ey.
You don't wanna mess with me man, I take the pickles off my cheeseburgers.
Nate woke up with a dress on.
A moo moo!
what in the blue hell do pickles have to do with it?
Ya still sippin' that girl's drink Jamie? My wife loves vodka to!
So do I! Cream soda with spritz
That's what the Raspberry Vodka cooler tastes like. I'm glad Jamie knows how to drink with the grown up women.
heheh
I never thought you'd crash our drinkin' games Crystal... good on ya mate!
First you take off the pickles, then you get the power, then you get the women.
I'm about to go shopping, liquor sto'.
"Excuse me, will this be sufficient enough to make Nate my bitch?"
"Oh that will make you Magnum DUI."
"That's what I'm talkin bout bitches! Holla."
And now its time for a tale!
Jamie's exploits inspire...
So this buddy of mine... driving home from a party... he hits a tree.
He maintains he fell asleep... and the booze had nothing to do with it... but when the cops asked him how many he had... his response..
"well.. I had 24 but it wasn't even real beer it was nat light!"
What do you say Crystal? You attracted to men who take the pickles off their cheesburgers?
come on Jamie... its 2:40am here... I've been drinkin' since 4:00pm. You call yourself a man?
No, I call myself THE man.
You'll fall asleep on your gun soon.
You'll wake up, "Did the South win?"
what? not even a snicker for the natural light story? humorless aussie...
Ya think Crystal's drinkin' to?
I didn't know what natural light is, we don't get that beer here, so it must be American, and that means it must be crap.
If I Snicker it's a chocolate bar.
Yeah, a Coke.
oh its crap... you have no idea... imagine a can of old bud light... poured into a litre of water... now dip a glass in and take a drink.
Its more like mildly beer flavored water.
we need to get Crystal and Darlin' Joy drunk together. oh man that'd be fun.
bbl ya aussie cunt... old lady needs some... attention.
Oh it's Luther Vandross with a rebel flag!
LOOK OUT
There's the mental image for the night peoples.
I was just ribbing Jamie about the vodka. While the bad part of me would love to crash one of your parties...I really don't know. I've been indulging the bad part of me all night long, and I think it's time to go to bed at nearly 5 am.
I totally got Vox tonight on the menorah thread! Pwnage!! Now, that is something worth celebrating with something new and snappy.
As long as the man gives me that pickle for my cheeseburger..sure! And DJ would agree with me. Me and DJ, I think we'd get along well...from her blog anyways.
$10 says Nate talked a big game, then fell asleep on the toilet taking a shit.
I'll take that bet
"$10 says Nate talked a big game, then fell asleep on the toilet taking a shit."
Jamie R
That's cold.
"I'll take that bet"
Crystal Lake
That's really cold. Damn.
Crystal, I'll hang out with you any time! You're my girl, yo!
I'm BACK. Ha ha ha, you must have suffered. A wounded Southron, man your hangover would have been good.
But not me! I'm BACK.
Good luck with you Titans tonight. My Local paper predicts a Titans win.
Hey Nate! I got longnecks, heard of them? But tonight.... I stay sober, no big New Year's Eve celebrations for me. But, maybe, I go 3 out of 4.
Maybe.
Go Patriots!!!!!
N.E. Patriots are the best team and will win the SB.
"Go Patriots!!!!!"
"N.E. Patriots are the best team and will win the SB."
onejohn512
Don't count your chickens 'fore they hatch.
"did any major producers of liquor or beer send you a Christmas present this year?
Because Makers Mark sent me a pretty nice one." ---- Nate 12.28.07 - 4:35 pm
I got mine too, but I'm still trying to reckon how it helps me drink!
Awwww... hell with it. It's New Year's! I'm buying some Booker's and getting TOTALLY PISSED TONIGHT!!!!!!!!
Happy New Year's to you Nate, your loved ones, and to all the others who frequent your blog
Happy New Year all.
Vols win!
SEC- Superbly Eviscerate Competition.
Happy New Year, Nate and all here.
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