You didn't have a Crotchety Old Man in your neighborhood, growing up? It seemed like there was one around every corner in my home town; sometimes, it was a woman instead.
The gent at the end of our alley was Old Man Schantz. We used to sneak into his garden and break off a stalk of rhubarb on a hot summer day. He took all the fun out of it when he told us we could help ourselves, though. Turns out, he wasn't as crotchety as we had supposed him to be.
Ah, but some of them just go too far. It's happening in my father-in-law, too, himself a disabled WWII vet. They are losing control of their world, and it just kills them. So they try to control others, instead.
Sad.
Hey Nate. Congrats on catching your first fish! How old are you?
Anyway, now you know why we likes it.
I'm not saying you did anything wrong, or he did anything right... but if the guy is your neighbor, I'd recommend that you look for a chance to buy him a drink and ask him how he lost the legs.
Poor guy.
Thim... Its far more likely that I would shoot him in the face than buy him a drink.
Some people are pricks. Can't do nothin' about it. Askin' a prick why he's a prick won't work either cause he don't know.
I'll bet the old man lost a relative to drowning or his own child, or almost drowned himself. Some people are just scared shitless of water. Unreasonably so.
But this old man, since he wouldn't give his name or get out of the truck sounds more like a bitter old man out to get his way.
As for fishing, not one fish until that day? I'm shocked and scandalized. Who took you fishing as a kid? They must not of known what they were doing or didn't care to really teach it.
I'm not real fond of fishing now but I fished a ton when I was a kid. I was lucky to have access to my Grandpa's pond.
What you need to find is a hole guaranteed to hold bluegill, perch, sunfish, bream, whatever you call them they're fun to catch. That way you can use a bobber and live bait. Cast and retrieve isn't a fishing method for little kids. The bobber will teach patience. The bluegills could get them hooked on fishing. You don't need modern fancy gear to fish with a bobber either, in fact you can use a plain bamboo pole with no tackle on it.
If you run out of bait you can pretty use anything on the hook. They won't bite as much but they will bite. I've caught bluegill with wads of algae. I'm not kidding.
I hope you teach those boys about the other dangers of a fishing hole, like snakes and snapping turtles.
I've been chased by water moccasins, they are very aggressive.
Sometimes when using a bobber you will catch things other than what you intend, like very large snapping turtles. I hate snapping turtles. They're just mean and full of spite. They will take your finger clean off if you aren't careful. Even if you cut the head off it will still bite down on a stick if you put it close to the severed head.
and while I understand that it is traditionally an uncle's responsibility to teach his nephew to fish... Jeb and Eli are blessed with two no-account and shiftless uncles... neither of which can hold a job.
Mighty big talk from my brother (the shame is nearly unbearable), the domestic godess.
Too bad I wasn't there; the boys could have learned about casual violence to cripples and the inherent hilarity therein:
"Look, Jeb, the cripple-man fell down! Isn't he short?! He's almost you're size! Let's put wheels on him so you can take him home. Think your mommy will let you keep him?"
I caught my first fish. Seriously. My first fish.
Wow. Not even a feisty little panfish caught before? Those little bluegill will bite a lure as big as they are. I suppose the wait made the catch that much sweeter. Congratulations. Sounds like the boys had a lot of fun too (at least in the fishing part).
He took all the fun out of it when he told us we could help ourselves, though. Turns out, he wasn't as crotchety as we had supposed him to be.
That made me smile, WB.
A little OT:
In a couple weeks, hubby and I are going to be headed on a trip that will eventually get us to N. Kentucky. Seeing that my husband likes good barbeque, can anyone suggest a good place to go in N. Kentucky or even N. West Virginia? He's willing to go out of our way. We're heading home to MI through Cinci (wanted to check out the creation museum), so not too far west though. We're coming from Wilmington, DE with a night's stop in Gettysburg. (After coming home from Gettysburg, I figure I'm going to need a couple DiLorenzo books to recover.)
Thanks!
"Mighty big talk from my brother (the shame is nearly unbearable), the domestic godess. "
Ya work more now than ya did when ya had two jobs. While I on the otherhand have taken a trip with you... gone camping for a week... and am fixing to spend a week in Texas where I shall kill a hog..along with countless varmints.
Cry for me. Get back to work and stop yer blubberin'
I can't believe you have never caught a fish before - what Athor said - get them out there with a hook and bobber , the site of that bobber going down will hook them on fishing for sure!
My father in law and I took NumberOne out fishing in FL when he was four. It was his first time fishing and we had so much fun. Caught very few fish (four or five I - to many dolphins hanging around) but he was thrilled to death and talks about that fishing trip all of the time.
Wendy:
If your headed anywhere near Owensboro, check out the Moonlite Inn for BBQ.
You will not be disappointed.
Nate,
You know, it's no wonder you like fishing in Wow. You actually catch fish there.
We're not the fishing kind, SB, anymore than we are the harley kind. We're the kind your mother warned you about.
Congrats on the first fish, I still remember my first one.
A good tool to bring along for those pesky hooks is a pair of needle nose pliers.
have fun!
I've never caught a fish, but I caught the crabs on Cape Cod.
He's now just an old woman, and enjoys the ego thrill of being thus. Water Boy put it nicely. Control.
First fish? W T F, OVER?
You never mentioned what kind it was...largemouth? you said it jumped...
One of my best friends growing up had a pretty good sized pond on their farm. We used to spend many, many hours fishing out there. Of course, his dad would regale us with tales of the giant snapping turtle that live waaaaaaay out in the middle of the lake 
, and we spent a lot of time trying to catch that turtle, but (surprise) never did.
Those snappers take a hotdog on a treble hook tied down from a milk jug. Put 'em out in the afternoon and harvest 'em in the mornin'. Mash it's head, stick an air hose up his ass, blow him up like a balloon to get the shell off and commence to cleanin'.
Now, that's a good time!
It was a large mouth... about a foot long. Bigger than I expected for a little pond.
That's hilarious--in the same day, you caught your first fish, and threatened a cripple that you'd beat him until he'd never walk again!
I will think of that, in idle moments, and laugh out loud. For weeks.
Funny, funny stuff.
For Nate from bw:
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**FOR SB: My Ridgeback Belle
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Michael,
Not too many people brag about catching crabs...
I caught my first fish a few years ago out on the pacific. As we were staying in a hotel we didn't keep any of them and gave them to others to make sure everyone got their limit.
Sounds like it was an interesting day. Have fun fishin', the old man will get over it of course. Based on what you wrote, I have a feeling you won't see much of him anymore
"Not too many people brag about catching crabs..."
Well they were literally crabs, in my defense.
We were crabbing of the pier at Wellfleet.
I was watching my brother and nephew using a crab trap. It's not really a three person job. They filled up a rather large bucket very quickly. Then we'd drop them on the pier and watch the hara-kiri back into the water some 20 feet below.
I grabbed my nephew's fishing pole and started casting with a hunk of squid as bait.
I "caught" a bunch. They'd hang onto the bait until you got them fully out of the water reeling back in. Then they'd drop back into the water.
Silly day, but fun.
BUT! Nate, I saw on TV the other day how to prevent the line tangles. You brake the line before it hits the water. It will cut the hook's travel short and make the line taut before hitting the water and supposedly prevent the tangles.
I really wish I'd known that the day I caught them crabs. But I never had any uncles take me fishing either.
And I've still never caught a fish.
Just the other day John McCain yelled at me to get the hell off his lawn...
Did you threaten to shoot him in the face?
Hmm, I was expecting some sort of post honoring this historic day. I'm rather disappointed.
Luke & thimscool: thank you.
Brightened a day surrounded by frikkin' idiots...
Wendy: to which particular date are you referring?
April 14, 1865.
bw - she's beautiful - a very apt name!
Did you threaten to shoot him in the face?
I'm not Dick Cheney.
Or Slick Willie, for that matter... 
As a point of information I have offered SEVERAL times to take my brothers out and show them the fishin arts ... sadly all offers have been declined. And trust me if Nate is any more crotchety than me it should make a book of records somewhere. Had a guy say I reminded him of an agrevated rattlesnake once. go figure.... I always thought i was a "nice guy".
some old people are just crotchedy. Good job, Nate! Very funny and what a despicable bastard to talk to a young child that way!
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