His #1 myspace friend (besides Tom)Johnny Bouncewell lives in Plainfield, IL. Maybe HE knows something.
Interesting case, Steve. I hope they are ok. If they had to leave FL they might have been selling their boat too. I hope it's not another one of those cases.
His #1 myspace friend (besides Tom)Johnny Bouncewell lives in Plainfield, IL. Maybe HE knows something.
Interesting case, Steve. I hope they are ok. If they had to leave FL they might have been selling their boat too. I hope it's not another one of those cases.
Why did they have to go on the run?! That's what it sounds like to me, they've gone to ground for some reason. (Or he has?) Why?!
Sounds like he has Kat, if the add for the dog is anything to go by....
Very ominous.
i think HE may be in Chicage, not so sure about the girlfriend. He has a nasty history of violent tendencies....very alarming
And maybe, just maybe Trevor and Wendy just went to Chicago to find a place to live and all before they come back to get their belongings. Maybe they felt that as adults they didn't need to get anyone's permission. And maybe the idiot they thought was a friend who agreed to care for the pets failed to do so and is now keeping their mouth shut while everyone is running away with the speculation about this case. Maybe when Trevor and Wendy learn of this they will be very angry. And who can blame them?
I don't think anyone would blame them. You have to wonder, and I just made a note to this effect in the entry above, why no one else reporting this story brought that up. The St. Pete paper caught onto the Craig's List post about the dog -- after I published this entry.
Then again, I have yet to check the news, so maybe they have caught on. In which case I'll take this entry off-line, something I only do in situations like this -- where a 'disappearance' turns out to not be a crime, after all.
Steve
this couple is heavily into cocaine and pills, like xanax. i was one of their neighbors. one of the most odd couples i have ever met. trevor was the sweetest guy in the world one moment, then next he'd start shit with someone. he is truly a psychopath. it wouldn't shock me if it was a drug deal gone wrong or if he did something awful to her. she also has a daughter, which no one mentions in the reports.
forgot to add that i know them from hernando county. they moved up this way in the summer of 2006. they told me they were originally from clearwater.
I am thinking either both of them are on the run from some kind of trouble (legal, or angry people meaning to do harm) or only he is on the run. That's just the vibe I get from the ads. It might still be tied to crime somehow. The fact that they apparently gave the dogs away tells me they were planning to go to ground and be less traceable. They've watched AMW and the like I'd say.
Concerned Neighbor, can you elaborate on the daughter? How old is she, and who kept her? If they were placing those adds to set the stage for a planned disappearing act, then I would bet Chicago is the LAST place they would be. More likely, they have headed in the opposite direction towards Texas, California, or even Mexico.
Clarifying. I know the pets were left behind, what I was saying is, the fact that they advertised to give them away shows they were planning to go underground and not be traced. And, the dog(s?) were left behind. Whoever is on the run (if they did manage to get away) doesn't want to be easily traced. It is still possible that the nameless entity(s?) they were working to hide from got to them first though. Or, he killed her and set it up to look like she went away with him willingly.
KatK, if I were a betting man, I'd lay my money on the latter possibility. That domestic battery bit is bothersome.
Yeah, his previous charges are worrisome. *sad*
If you're running away and may have possibily murdered your girlfriend, why bother finding someone to take your dogs? Why not just drop them off at the animal shelter or, if you're that big a douche bag, just leave them on the side of the road.
Is it possible these two have gone into wittness protection or protective custody?
You make a show of giving away your possessions to lend credence to the idea that everything's ok, you've just moved. Implying: "Nothing to see here, she went with me to Chicago." Or, "we've gone to Chicago, and not in completely the opposite direction, so look there for us". It was part of the gambit, either to fool people into believing Wendy is still alive and whith Trevor or to fool people into going to Chicago to find them (while they went the other way).
Wow this is really crazy. Sounds like something bad happened. Sounds like they are going through very extreme financial problems. I know that the mortgage business has been very tough for EVERYONE. He seems to be a Lose Cannon???
Search Trevor's name. Yeah, something is definately not right.
http://www.clerk.co.hernando.fl.us/
Concerned neighbor, did you read the blog entry? I linked several Hernando county records found through searching that site yesterday. Is there something new?
As far as the Daughter is concerned, shes safe with her father since july. Dad was aware of trever being a domestic violence case, and faught for custody and won. My prayers are with wendy.
I used to employ trevor, Wendy, and Her Brother Russel. I have always known Trevor to be very aggressive towards wendy and to russel. I pray that she is alright and I know someone in Chicago that he may contact if is in deed heading there. But I believe he is from texas his father is an attorney there.
Did anyone notice that Wendy is named on this court document...
Does anyone with info here know who the other persons named on the document are?
http://www.clerk.co.hernando.fl....&
case_prefix=DR
Also does anyone know what this court case is? All it says is real property....
http://www.clerk.co.hernando.fl....&
case_prefix=CA
Read Steve's entry again, he mentioned the last court case you linked Kel, *and* linked to it. He said "McGinty and Wendy Dusza were both named in this Hernando County Probate case. It was a foreclosure sought by LaSalle Bank. A default judgment was entered against Trevor and Wendy and 3 other defendants on October 19."
We need to look for Trevor!!! Wendy would not abandon her pets! Trevor has a history of abuse and Wendy always calls her family!! There is so much more and somebody really needs to investigate this case! We have been worried about her before this happened..... and they were not stable, he was abusive!! Please find her!!!
I believe Wendy was found murdered over the weekend and he was found after having commit suicide.
Sorry, I read it wrong, she is still missing. He committed suicide.
To Wendy's Mom, Dad, brothers, and cousin Amy: My heartfelt concern, thoughts, and prayers have been with Wendy since first hearing of this early Sunday afternoon. My thoughts and prayers remain with her and you.
To others reading this blog: If you believe in a God, your prayers for both Wendy and her daughter would be very appreciated by me.
Just reading the news last week, there were more than 3 women who were killed or missing, and the spouse is the "person" of interest. What is in the water?
I'm not so sure that he was planning this. Perhaps they both WERE planning on going to Chicago, then he killed her, and took off. In any case, it's a horrible situation. My prayers are with her family, and especially her child.
To Wendy' daughter and her father you know you are in my prayers and should you need anything let me know
As former employee of Trevor, I find it interesting that no one has mentioned his past in the restaurant business. Trevor was the general manager at a popular St. Petersburg restaurant for quite some time, and was actually the person who fired me (so he could re-hire his cocaine dealer!!).
Trevor was known for his erratic, violent behaviour, and I'm very glad his girlfriend at the time left him, because she could have ended up like Wendy.
UPDATE: Trevor comitted suicide after a standoff with Gainesville Police, and Wendy's body was found in the storage shed of their Tampa apartment.
This story is so, so tragic. My heart goes out to their families.
I feel sad for women that find themselves in this type of situation. Maybe he was kind and loving at first before his violent side was shown. By then she's in too deep or under pressure to stay together when a emotional trigger is pulled and the violence spins out of control. Everybody loses, nobody is unaffected, lives are lost and lives are changed. Very tragic indeed.
Thank God her daughter's father did what he did, when he did, when he got custody! I think we would be reading about 3 people instead of 2 if the actions taken did not take place. I've known Wendy since school, and she did not deserve this! Only a coward can beat a women to death, and then take his own life...Our deepset sympathy goes out to Wendy's family. She was a beautiful woman.
family
I will never be quite the same without you Wendy!!! I will always watch over your daughter but I never got to say goodbye....I will always love you...you were a sister and a friend...May God always be with you!!!
Love always yours sister.....Amy
you were a great mother and you will be missed...
i love you with all my heart and i wish this would have never ended this way, but now i hope you realize what a jerk he was and why i left....
if i would have stayed, this would have happened to me too...
i love you very very much and i will see you in heaven. i am glad you are in a better place; away from trevor.
Britt, Hey doll my heart goes out to you and your dad and if you need anything you call me !!! your mom was a great lady and my prayers are with her, you and your dad!!!
This goes out to whomever thaught Trevor was a sweetheart. And to his family, I want you all to know, I was the one who had to tell my daughter this morning that your so called sweetheart killed her mother. Bear that pain as you grieve.
My deepest sympathy goes out to my niece and Wendy's family. No one deserves this. I was the one who helped "dig up the dirt" on Trevor's violent past (FL, IL and TX) to assist her father in getting his daughter out of a very dangerous situation. I am glad Britt wanted to get away while she still could. God only knows what would have happened if she would have stayed.
To Trevor's family, I hope you now know what a psycho he was. To say that everything was okay between the two of them was one of the biggest lies you can ever tell. I have no idea how you will be able to live with the fact knowing your son took a child's mother away from her. You did not have to be the one to break the news to her. You were not the ones who had to hold her as she cried. You cannot even imagine the damage your son has caused to Wendy's family and friends.
I knew trevor for years and I called this years ago, he is an EVIL scumbag and when I got the news this morning, I wasnt a bit surprised! ROT IN HELL TREVOR! My heart goes out to the family of Wendy.
To Wendy's family: You are all in my prayers. Brit, I am so sorry to hear about what has happened to your mother, no child should ever have to go through what you have been through.
I know this isn't going to sound right but I feel I should say this....it was Trevor who did what he did, maybe his family didn't know him like most of you did....his family is hurting to as they have lost a child as well....I realize he was not a good person but they have the right to feel sad too. What is did was wrong and horrible but it was not his family that did it. Please try to find it in your hearts to pray for his family too so that they may try to heal as well. Once a child turns 18, it is not always the parents or family members you can blame for someone doing with this POS did. Please do not direct your anger toward Trevor's family because they are the ones that are here....keep your anger where it belongs, with Trevor and his crimes.
I am not friends or related to either side, I just want you all to be able to heal and pray for each other....Britt is the one right now that needs all of the love and support everyone can give her. Focus the positive love and emotions on this young child as she needs to come to terms with what has happened. She saw things first hand, thank God she was able to get out!
Good Luck to all of you in this terrible situation.
I live in this neighborhood... it's quite shocking and tragic. I just wish there was something I could have done to save this poor woman. My heart goes out the her friends and family.
Speechless.... Wendy was a good friend....and a good Mother. He turned her into what they both became. Cuz we all know it really wasn't her. RIP Wendy ... I know you're smiling down on Mike and Brittney. He saved her,.she saved herself.
From Wendy's family - we would like to say thank you to all those who have offered their condolences in this sad situation. Needless to say, there is ALOT of misinformation and speculation about this situation. We can now say that our dear Wendy was shot once in the face by this sick person, and then she was placed into a large storage container and "hidden" in a storage shed. Then the sick coward ran from the scene until police finally found him. Instead of acting like a man he choose the cowards way out, and killed himself. We knew Wendy was with a very psychotic person, yet nothing we said to her would stop her from continuing a relationship with him. A wonderful, bright, loving, warm, and caring person was taken from us by an individual who should have been institutionalized years ago (and the key thrown away!). Now, we are left with memories - and a huge hole in life. I pray that none of you ever suffer this loss - always love those important to you, since life can end in a literal heartbeat. We will never know the exact circumstances that transpired that night, since the reasons died with Wendy - only time will help in healing, but closure can never take place. Thanks again for your concerns.
October 26?
my heart and prayers go out to wendys family, i met wendy about 4 years ago she was a great women and so very kind to me. Cary
To Wendy's family, you are in my prayers. Take it easy, don't over-extend yourselves. EAT! DRINK WATER! Cry if you can, when you feel the need, but don't feel guilty if you can't yet. Rest when you can. Take it a minute at a time if you need to.
To Brittany, her father, and his family. You also are in my prayers. Help Britt to journey through the process of grieving. You will have to be watchful and work to help her go back out into the world when it is the time for her to do so. Sometimes going back to everyday life as much as possible can help the person heal. But, a balance must be maintained, over-working "to forget" is bad, but not wanting to do anything at all past a certain point ins't good either. Help her admit her feelings, and work through them, even if she finds herself angry. You are in my prayers Brittany, I'm sorry.
To Wendy's friends, my prayers are with you. Don't blame yourself for "not doing enough" to help her, I'm sure you all did what you could to support her and bolster her and help her see her worth as a person. I've been in a very abusive marraige. It often starts "gently". My abuser very slowly and gradually broke down my boundaries over a period of years. If he'd shown the disrespect and utter disregard for me as a person during the courtship that he did in the final years of our marraige, there wouldn't have been a marraige. I "woke up" one day and was amazed I was putting up with such things. By then he was very aggressive, I lived under the threat of violence if he didn't get what he wanted. He was emotionally abusive, financially abusive, and sexually abusive to me. To this day I am very careful on the internet, because if he found me he'd kill me. All a friend can do in such cases is be there as a shoulder, and wait for the day the person decides they want to get free. Friends and family can do nothing until the abused spouse realizes they want free, and gathers the courage to begin to take action to do so. Don't blame yourselves for what that scum did! You might want to talk to a counselor who works with battered women to help absolve yourself of the guilt that really isn't yours, to help understand the dynamics of what goes on, so you can heal and grow.
I don't know what to say. I am shocked, disgusted and appalled. Wendy was beautiful. I took her picture this time last year. I will remember that image of her, always. She was so pretty; what a beautiful smile and shinning, glowing face. She was happy, yet sad; a conficting emotional time for Wendy, I'm sure. I knew her breiefly through the priveledge of being related to her family. Her family, by the way, is the kindest, most sincere, fun-loving bunch anyone should ever be privledged to know. I know her cousin loved her and is currently VERY angry with the whole situation. He had a lot of fun with her (Wendy)and thier shared cousin, A_ _, both as children & as adults. This is a heart-felt family with GOOD roots and spiritual souls. I personaly LOVE my husband's family and I am proud to call them my own. I am so sad today; yet I am still so grateful to share the rest of my life with such as wonderful family as Wendy's. God bless FAMILY & may the HOLY SPIRIT heal our pains today, tomorrow & always, JoAnne M.
Wendy was such a great person... I'm so sorry this had to happen to you.. My prayers are with you and your family.. You will be missed.. Friend of Wendy & Russ
O M G ! My sincere condolences to Wendy's family and daughter. I can't even imagine your pain right now, especially since you wanted her away from this loser-coward.
I also worked with Trevor, as his boss, and had him removed also because of his selfish-arrogant-self centered, abusive & sick, psycho behavior.
He was abusive then to a wonderful and beautiful girl too. She got away. Lucky...
Poor innocent Wendy didn't...
This is what drugs do! He was an alcohol and drug abuser for many many years...and his family all knew it too!
His family will need thoughts and prayers too...he was a 30 yr old adult...(sicko)...
I will be praying this week for the families and all the girls/women out there with an abusive(verbal-emotional-physical...no matter!) partner/boyfriend to GET OUT NOW! PLEASE GOD, GIVE THEM THE STRENGTH TO RUN HOME OR TO A FRIENDS FOR HELP...PLEASE!
I never met you Wendy, but you are an Angel Now for Sure...god bless
Today I am so sadden that this had to happen to such a sweet, caring woman. I am so greatful that you got away Brittany. We love you so much and are so very proud of you for standing up for yourself. Trevor was a awful person and we are happy that he will not spend another second hurting anyone anymore. I know that God will punish him like all of us here on earth want to so badly.
My husband, Derek has been best friends with Wendy's brother Russ for many years. This will put a void in all of hearts forever. Please just remember this family in your thoughts and prayers, as this will take a long time to cope.
Brittany-Derek will be coming up with Uncle Russ. I wish I could come also but I have to stay here with the baby. But, I am sending you a little something with him, so make sure you get it and he also has a BIG hug and kiss from me. I love you sweetheart and I am so sorry that you had to loose your mommy. Keep your chin up.
We were shocked to hear that Wendy Dusza had met with such a tragic end to her life.Our thoughts and prayers are with her mother,Debbie,her father Paul Dusza ,her daughter and brothers,also her extended family in buffalo,N.Y.Know that she is with the Lord and is at peace.God bless and be with you all.
Jan and Bill Henry
Deland,Fl.
I have honored Wendy with a FEATURED PHOTO on my_photographic_soul "HOMEPAGE". Oddly, enough (family will understand), I took this picture of her a YEAR ago (to the day?). Just click the blue HOMEPAGE link. With LOVE, JoAnne M.
We had the priveledge of meeting Wendy when we rented the house in Hernando county. She was a wonderful person, and was great to talk with, when Trevor wasn't there. She was always talking about her daughter, and how much she loved and missed her. We only saw Trevor a few times, but struck us as very dominating over Wendy whenever he was around. Our prayers are with you, she was a good person.
everyone forgets wendy was a druggy too?
godbless all families involved! its a terrible tragedy, we will never know the truth i guess!!
FL
I just want to let Wendy's family know that I am so sorry and that you are all in my prayers. Brittany I met you awhile back, I worked with you're Mother at Hops and then I had got back in touch with her about 3 years ago and I saw you both at a restaurant. May God bless all of you.
When Wendy stayed with me for days and she was never on drugs, she was here in Buffalo a year ago to this day for my Uncle's funeral. I'm not sure what she did while she was with "him", but she has lived with me for years in the past and she was never a druggy!! She lived here before she was with Trevor, and I KNOW FOR A FACT that she was not on drugs, I spent everyday with her! She was an honest christian woman and I know she is in heaven right now with my Grandmother and Uncle Jim by her side!!RIP....
Whether she was a druggie or not, does that give Trevor the right to do what he did?? Whenever I saw her, she was fully in control of herself and never seemed like she was under the influence of anything.
I JUST WANT TO ADDRESS ANYONE ON HERE THAT HAS SAID THAT WENDY WAS A DRUGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TWO THINGS TO SAY TO YOU, "SHAME ON YOU" DON'T YOU HAVE ANY EMPATHY IN YOUR SOUL.WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR CHILD OR LOVED ONE, WOULD YOU BE SO NASTY AND CRUEL THEN? AGAIN "SHAME,SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JAN HENRY
DELAND,FL.
To "never mind" a.k.a. the apologist for a murderer...
Sounds like you are probably a friend or family member of the murderer Trevor. It doesn't matter whether Wendy did drugs or not, she did not deserve to be murdered.
P.S. IN REFERANCE TO THE PERSON THAT POSTED AND SIGNED,NEVER MIND. I NOTICED YOU WERE TOO ASHAMED TO SIGN YOUR NAME. I WOULD BE TOO, IF I WERE YOU.SHAME,SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JAN HENRY
DELAND,FL.
I would like to share the following words of encouragement sent to me by my niece, Kim Meissner. (Mike's cousin) ... Before I do, I want to say that we know that Wendy was unable to remove herself from an abusive situation, like so many women before her, and like so many women will be unable to do so after her. Britt has been busy printing and collecting pictures of Wendy, family and Lucky. Our family, the Klodzinski family, knows that Brittany, Debbie, Paul, Brian, Russell and Amy, tried their best to help Wendy escape. For those posts here that indicate otherwise, you may find enlightenment in educating yourself on the signs of abusive relationships and how difficult it is, and for some impossible, to escape them.
Now the words of encouragement from Kim:
Aunt Deb, Uncle Mike, Lea, Chris, Mike, and Brittany:
You are all in my thoughts and prayers at this time of loss, sorrow, and grief. The unthinkable has touched your lives. Please know you will all be lifted up in prayer.....
************
There is sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love.
~ Washington Irving ~
God says "TRUST ME"
Do you believe that I am the
Son of God and that I died for
all men and women?
Then why do you continue to be
distracted and anxious about
your loved ones?
Do they not also belong to me?
Could it be that I could somehow
refuse to work in their lives
while performing wonders in your
own?
I have not put you in charge
of saving anyone. That is My job.
Nor have I charged you with
changing them: I will do that.
YOURS IS THE TASK OF FORGIVING,
LOVING AND INTERCEDING IN PRAYER.
Come closer to me for the grace
to accomplish this; I will do the
rest. TRUST ME; I will never fail you.
i would like to dedicate the song IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL to Trevors family.for anyone interested in the lyrics please google---song/in the arms of an angel-------------read the words it is sung by SARAH MCLACHLAN.
BOTH FAMILIES SHOULD READ THE LYRICS.
Treveor's family does not deserve a song dedication. Unless it's "little boy you're going to hell." Trevor is not in the arms of an angle. Rather, he took an angle from us. I am sure his family knows he's rotting in hell.
Every adult is responsible for their own actions. To blame a family for the actions of their son is hateful and short-sighted. Trevor's family suffers as well, and should be allowd to grieve without verbal attacks. I have not seen anything where his family excuses his actions.
What do you know "Errrrburrp" of what that family deserves or not, hmmm? Do you possess perfect knowledge so that you can make such determinations? For that matter what do you know of God's justice? I suppose if an individual's suffering assuages you then that is natural, however is not very Christian. If you wish to vent fine, but leave out things of which you do not know.
Teveor's family mourns too, and I'm sure those who feel adversarial towards them right now, will come to realize they are just people, and had no more control over Trevor than Wendy did. *TREVOR* chose to do drugs, and he chose to abuse people. It doesn't mean he had permissive parents, or was abused as a child. Sometimes abusers just grow that way, despite being nurtured to develop better than that. The blame rests with Trevor, not Trevor's family. I hope people can come to terms with this idea, so Trevor's family can also heal in peace. Imagine having the idea brutally hammered home that you've been holding a viper to your bosom this whole time. Their world is upside down too, mercy!
to errrrpburrp, before you say anything about the song"in the arms of an angel" you should google-- song/in the arms of an angel----------then read the words very closely!!!!!!!!!!! go to the one sung by sarah mclachlan then go to lyrics.
This is not Trevor's family's fault, he was an adult. I do have hateful feelings towards Trevor at this time, but I hope I can eventually forgive, because I know that is what God wants us to do. We are all human and we can't help to have these feelings, but I will continue to pray and hopefully God will ease the pain and the hate....as for Trevor's family, I am sorry that you have to go through the pain of what Trevor did to my dear Wendy, your family will also be in my prayers..... and I mean that sincerely...
I'm sure Trevor's family feels just as bad as everyone else in the aftermath of this tragic situation. How much can they do when living soo far away no matter what they knew or didn't know. Trevor's judgement day has come, and God has decides his fate.
Sad to say, because she will be missed so much, but Wendy is in a better place where she will no longer have to feel pain. I'm sure that what ever she went through in this relationship does not even compare to the pain she felt of losing the custody of her daughter. She was not only a sweet person, but a caring Mother.
I just wish that her murder was not the deciding factor in this whole situation...
Never claimed to be a christan... Nor am I blaming his family. I am blaming him. If anything they know that Treveor was a coward, and he is in hell. He broke a commandment, "Thou shalt not kill" YOu should know that. His parents could have stopped this if they caught his physco behavior early enough, but no, they did not pull the trigger, their poor excuse for a person of a son did. Trevor took away a daughter, a mother, a sister, and a friend. I have no remorse for his family.
So,Rather than feel sorry for that sick scum bags, coward's family, my thoughts will be with Wendy and hers.
Drugs and alcohol have such a devistating effect. It is awful to see 2 lives come to an end because of it.
No, you cannot magically stop a psychopath if they are the kind that murders. Rarely do others believe the person raising the alarm about a psychopath, because one of their traits is the ability to *CON* people into believing them over alarmists who see through their mask of sanity. You *are* blaming the parents errrburrp, whether you see it or not. Read up about the "common" psychopath you probably know at the link below.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workb...ully/
serial.htm
Some say that it is possible to correct the behaviors of a few psychopaths with behavioral therapy, while others contend that it isn't proven. In any case, you can't blame the familyl for not seeing it, since they are good at mimicing and saying what people want to hear.
Alcohol and drugs have a devistating effect on a person. I know personally and through family what it can do. I pray for all involved, and hope God and not errburrp is the one to pass judgement
Dude.... you just sent me a link to bullyonline.com? if you were trying to bring up some kind of credible facts you should have at least directed me to the APA.
Cel, so does murder.
Did you even pull up the link? Have you ever visited the site at all? Or, did you assume the site as "pro-bullying" by the name and sneer? *eyebrow* Also, *dude* I'm a dudette for the record. *steely gaze*
THIS IS THE VERY WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO BOTH SETS OF PARENTS. NO PARENT WANTS TO OUTLIVE THEIR CHILDREN.IT'S SO SAD THAT THESE TWO YOUNG PEOPLE CAME TO SUCH A TRAGIC END.I DO KNOW THAT WENDY'S FATHER, PAUL DUSZA IS PRAYING TO GOD TO GIVE HIM THE GRACE TO FORGIVE TREVEOR.IF HE CAN PRAY FOR TREVEOR THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL LOOK INTO OUR OWN HEARTS.PAUL IS ONE OF THE KINDEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN AND DEBBIE TOO,NO WONDER WENDY WAS SO SWEET,AND NO WONDER EVERYONE IS SO ANGRY AND SAD ABOUT HER LIFE BEING CUT SHORT.IT'S BECAUSE SHE WAS SO LOVED BY EVERYONE WHO KNEW HER. LET' HONOR HER MEMORIE.
"His parents could have stopped this if they caught his physco [sic] behavior early enough, but no, they did not pull the trigger"
Errrbuuurp, this conversation ends here, such a suggestion makes me unwilling to listen to you any further. Also, to the others in this "thread" I suggest ending as well, because at this point it is co-opting the family's grief.
No, I did not assume that the site was pro-bully. I attacked the credibility of the site.
Again, this is about Wendy. Let God be with her and her family.
SORRY, I MISPELLED "MEMORY" IN MY LAST POST.
I FINALLY FOUND THE SONG I WANT TO DEDICATE TO WENDY'S FAMILY. IT'S CALLED "ONE DAY AT A TIME" BY CHRISTY LANE. YOU CAN GOOGLE------------------ ONE DAY AT A TIME LYRICS-BY CHRISTY LANE
YOU CAN READ THE LYRICS AT THAT SITE.I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR THEM I JUST HAVE TO FIND IT.
I WISH ALL OF YOU PEACE AND LOVE.
Jan & Bill, Thankyou for caring so much, it has been years...I am Conrad & Marlene's daughter... I just want everyone to know that Wendy was a kind, loving, compassionate woman who always found good in everyone....I guess that's how she always found good in Trevor? It may seem crazy but...I will not be the one to judge her because it's not what I am here to do, I will just be here to always love her & I am saddened to think she really thought she was with a good man....
I FINALLY FOUND THE SONG I WANT TO DEDICATE TO WENDY'S FAMILY. IT'S CALLED "ONE DAY AT A TIME" BY CHRISTY LANE. YOU CAN GOOGLE------------------ ONE DAY AT A TIME LYRICS-BY CHRISTY LANE
YOU CAN READ THE LYRICS AT THAT SITE.I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR THEM I JUST HAVE TO FIND IT.
I WISH ALL OF YOU PEACE AND LOVE.
DEAR AMY, I KNEW WHO YOU ARE. AS FAR AS WENDY ALWAYS SEEING THE GOOD IN EVERONE I THINK THAT TRAIT RUNS IN THE QUAGLIETTA GENES. YOUR MOTHER,SANDY,AND DEBBIE ARE THE SAME, NO WONDER THEIR CHILDREN ARE THE SAME. WENDY GOT A DOUBLE DOSE THOUGH BECAUSE WE TALK TO PAUL EVERY WEEK AND I'VE NEVER HEARD HIM SAY A BAD THING ABOUT ANYONE,EVER.I CAN FEEL YOUR PAIN RIGHT NOW IS SO RAW AND I KNOW YOU'VE LOST ONE OF THE BEST LOVES OF YOUR LIFE,I KNOW YOU KEEP WONDERING "WHY". WE NEVER KNOW WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED FOR US BUT I KNOW YOUR FAITH WILL STRENGTHEN YOU SO YOU AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY CAN ENDURE THIS UNBEARABLE PAIN.
I KNEW WENDY'S PARENTS BEFORE THEY WERE MARRIED, I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS BORN, I REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SAW HER IN BUFFALO WHEN I CAME UP WHEN MY LAST GRANDAUGHTER WAS BORN. SHE HAD HER LITTLE GIRL WITH HER(JUST WALKING) AND I COULD SEE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING SHE WAS. SHE WAS SO PROUD FOR ME TO SEE HER LITTLE GIRL. I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT TIME.SHE WAS SPECIAL AND THAT IS WHY GOD NEEDED FOR HER TO COME TO HIM,HE WILL COMFORT HER AND GIVE HER PEACE THAT SHE COULDN'T FIND ON EARTH.I WILL GIVE YOUR AUNT SANDY OR YOUR MOTHER MY E-MAIL ADDRESS SO WE CAN TALK MORE.TIL THEN,TELL EVERYONE WE SEND OUR LOVE.
JAN HENRY
My prayers are with Wendy and family Ive lost part of my soul! I ask my self why do you stay with someone that discharges a firearm in front of your daughter? Sounds like this guy was too controlling. The daughter got away ....Smart...What kind of control freak was she with. Wendy I LOVE you! I'm sorry!!! I'm just left with an unknown?? CUZ
First and foremost I want to extend my deepest sympathies to the families who have lost such a wonderful person that they shared such a special place in their heart for. Mike and Brittany...my heart goes out to you both, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I have not seen Wendy in years,the memories that I do have of her were always very positive. She was a very happy, beautiful, and caring person and did not deserve to have her life taken away.
This tragedy has been haunting me day and night. I met Wendy and Trevor the day they moved into the Beachwalk condo approximately 2 months ago. I was walking my dogs as they made trip after trip and carried their belongings upstairs. I still remember thinking to myself, “Wow, that girl is a hard worker; she makes at least two trips upstairs to every one trip of the other two people helping and she keeps smiling.” We introduced ourselves and I welcomed them to Beachwalk. As time passed I frequently ran into Wendy when she walked her dogs. She told me the male dog belonged to her daughter in New York (“….but that was a whole different story.”) and the female dog was hers. I got the feeling right away that something wasn’t right and she wanted someone to talk to. The more we ran into one another walking the dogs, the more we would visit and talk to each other. She was obviously crazy about animals and we always let our dogs play together. I thought she was such a sweetheart and when I would see her with Trevor I often wondered why such a beautiful, vibrant girl like her was with such an emotionally dead person like him. See, when Wendy was alone we would talk and visit together all the time but when she was with Trevor, she would just walk by me and hardly say a word which I thought was very odd. One night we were walking our dogs and ran into one another and must have stood and talked for an hour. She suggested we hang out together sometime and I remember feeling disturbed by the desperation in her eyes. Later that night she knocked on my door around 1:30am but because I had to get up so early I didn’t answer the door. I know this will haunt me for quite some time; maybe I could have been there for her and helped her somehow! I’ll never forget the last time I saw her, she was so upset that she was moving to Chicago and had to find a home for her little dog. I told her to take some color pictures of her and we would post them at the Beachwalk mailboxes and I would also take some to my office and hang them in the break rooms. I told her we would definitely be able to find her a good home. That was the last time I saw Wendy. After that I would walk by and see her little dog on their screened patio and assumed they just hadn’t moved to Chicago yet. After a few days passed and the dog was still out on the patio I started wondering if something was wrong. Unfortunately when I got home from work last Friday I ran into the police and the owner of the condo and found out her family had reported her missing. I knew nothing about Trevor’s violent past but he was the first person who popped in my head. I can recall a day she was walking to their jeep and he was walking behind her and just the way he looked at her gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wish so bad I could have done something to help her. I think about her every time I walk by that condo and say a prayer for her family and friends. I am
I was a friend of Wendy back when we were teenagers and up to our early twenties, SHE NEVER DID DRUGS!!!
At least not with me. Wendy was a wonderful person and very hard working. She never said anything bad about anyone and was a true friend. My heart is broken for her family and most of all her daughter. Brit, she will be watching over you, I know it. I'm so sorry that your mom is gone. You also have a wonderful Aunt Amy that will always be there for you. Wendy, you will always be remembered.
To the ignorant person that called Wendy a DRUGGIE, may the supreme being curse you for speaking without knowing!
This is such a sad situation. My husband worked with both Wendy and Trevor and has been friends with Wendy's brother Russ for sometime. Since we recently relocated to Chicago from Tampa, Wendy and Trevor often spoke with us of their plans to move here. My husband and I are absolutely shocked by this unfortunate tragedy. Both families are in our thoughts and prayers.
One glaring question is not being asked.
Why would a Mother choose someone like this over her own daughter?
Mr. Geezil, it is part of the dynamics of the cycle of abuse. The person isn't like that at first, and by the time the person being abused realized it, they are already committed and probably don't have a clue (or the courage) to extricate themselves. The abuser may already have made threats about what they would do if the person leaves. Sometimes it's "I'd kill myself if you ever left me." sometimes it's "I'll never let you go, don't even try to leave me!" and yet others it is "If you wouldn't make me so mad, I wouldn't have to do the things I do, if you'd just do better things would be better for you." All of that is aimed at keeping the abuser in control, and the person being abused in the situation.
That is exactly what happened!
It saddens and angers all of her relatives on her father's side of Wendy's untimely death. We remember her here at Buffalo as a child mostly. At family gatherings, at picnics and having fun with the other cousins she has here. She did not deserve to die in this tragic way. We will never have closure to her death because the beast of the man she lived with was an abusive animal and took the cowards way out. There are all sorts of questions - could have, would have. Then you think, maybe if she would have stayed in Buffalo this tragic death would have never occured. The last time I saw Wendy was a couple of years ago and she was a beautiful and wonderful human being. Our hearts go out to her daughter Brittany. God chose her for this untimely death for a reason. I try to make myself believe this. She is now sitting up there in heaven beside Him. He is taking care of her now. She is out of her misery. Even knowing this, it saddens us. She had so much life ahead of her. All her relatives here in Buffalo pray for her. Even though she didn't come back to Buffalo, her home town, Wendy, my dear, you are home at last, beside the Lord. We are truly sorry for the abuse you must have under gone while living with that animal. We just wish you would have left him. We will never know why. My dear Wendy, you deserved better than this. We just hope you know how much you were thought of and loved back here in Buffalo. May you be happily singing with the angels and the Lord. Love, love, love, Uncle John and Aunt Kathy
KatK, thank you for addressing Geezil's comments. The Wendy I knew would NEVER have chosen a man over her daughter. Please understand that it took 3 years for Trevor to work his way into Wendy's life, taking it over one bit at a time, alienating her from family and friends, abusing her, battering and belittling her in front of her child, belittling and abusing Brittany as well to the point where BRITTANY chose to never go back. The legality of it all was only necessary as a result of Trevor's abuse and Wendy's inability to remove herself from that relationship.
Wendy willingly shared Brittany with the Klodzinski family from the beginning. She spent many of her birthdays here, with her dad and us. Last summer, tickets were purchased for Britt's flight to Buffalo, and at the last minute, TREVOR would not let her come. Britt sporadically kept in touch with me through late night phone calls when she was allowed to call family on her cell phone. She spent alot of time grounded in her room, doing laundry, cleaning that new house, cutting the grass, and alone without the benefit of television, radio, communication with friends and allowed only sporadic contact with family. When an agreement was finally struck to allow her to spend one week in Buffalo this summer, Brittany had her chance to escape from the drama that became her everyday life. She told family members that she would run away before she would agree to go back to Florida and a household with Trevor. She missed her mom a great deal and Wendy tried to keep in touch. When they conversed, Trevor was usually involved and I would watch this child's head drop in silence as she listened to a litany of verbal abuse at the other end of the line about her refusal and reasons for not wanting to come back home.
The Wendy I knew called Brittany almost every night when Britt was in bed for the night while staying here in Buffalo with family. They had frequent contact throughout the day also. She would call just to say she loved and missed Brittany. What changes this bond between mother and daughter? An unbreakable cycle of abuse, wearing your host's defenses down while the abuser endears himself to the host, showering the host with affection and promises at first, then s-l-o-w-l-y sucking the breath out of the host while the abuser continues to control EVERY aspect of the host's life. The host is not even allowed to have her own opinion or speak for herself. It's all about the abuser. Add a child to the equation ... unspeakable. I am sure Wendy went along with alot of Trevor's decisions just to simply keep peace and to keep him from abusing her and Brittany until he finally sucked the very life from Wendy.
Brittany has been very busy putting together a scrapbook of pictures of her mom, spent alot of the day yesterday on the computer reviewing pictures of Dusza family celebrations and telling me the names of all her family members in the photos and what they were doi
oops, it cut me off and did not include the rest of my message ...
Brittany has been accepting calls from family throughout this tragic event and speaking with everyone. She is and has always been a very inter-active young lady. She is fun loving and has always loved to be with family. Long ater this shock and outpouring of emotion stops, Brittany will remain with us all. Please continue to include her in your life and help her to grow to her full potential. She is very outgoing and social. Converse with her, keep abreast of her activities, and share your life and shared family with her while helping her to move forward.
(Britt's Gram)
MR. GEEZIL, YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF THE CYCLE OF ABUSE,BUT SOMETIMES THE ABUSER EVEN THREATENS THE PERSON BEING ABUSED THAT IF SHE SHOULD LEAVE HIM HE WILL HUNT HER DOWN AND NOT ONLY KILL HER BUT WHOEVER IS HELPING HER OR GIVING HER A PLACE OF REFUGE,ALSO HER LOVED ONES. I THINK THAT IS THE REASON SHE NEVER REACHED OUT TO HER FAMILY OR FRIENDS. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO ENDANGER ANYONE SHE LOVED BECAUSE OF THE WHAT SHE PERCEIVED AS HER WEAKNESS FOR HIM. AFTER BRITTANY LEFT HE HAD THE BEST WEAPON IN THE WORLD.IF SHE LEFT HIM HE WOULD THREATEN HER THAT HE WOULD HURT BRITTANY. THAT WAS ENOUGH TO KEEP HER RIGHT WHERE HE WANTED HER,IN HIS TOTAL CONTROL.THE PSYCHOPATHS ARE ALL ABOUT "CONTROL" AT ANY COST!!!!!!
I have read all the posts about Wendy being involved in a controlling and abusive relationship. I can tell you from personal experience that it is very difficult to escape. You have to realize you are strong enough to get out and then do whatever it takes to get out SAFELY. From all that I have read, it seems that Trevor was a real piece of work; controlling from the very beginning. His control issue was not obvious at first. No matter what your family and friends tell you or want you to do to get out, the person being abused (in any way, shape or form) is the one who ultimately has to make the decision that it is time to leave and then stick to it.
My heart goes out to Britt. She was strong enough, despite her fears for her mother, to want to get out and ultimately able to escape an abusive situation.
Mr. & Mrs. Henry,
Is all that you write known facts or is it just suppositions on your part?
Don't get me wrong, what was done to this young lady was evil and inexcusible but, it seems that much of what I am reading through this entire string is a lot of conjectures on many people's parts. How can anyone know what is really going on in someone's mind?
To Mr. Geezil
You ask why a Mom would choose Trevor over her daughter?? My(and probably everyone's)first reaction was the same..why would she stay? WELL when Trevor lived with MY family he caused a lot of arguments in MY family and when I started to see him for what he was, I was asked to leave my family. My Mom, Dad and brothers thought I was just being bitchy and selfish for not wanting him to live with us anymore and we argued about this so much that I was asked to move out. Trevor had an uncanning ability to "divide and conquer",which his step father warned us about before we took him in. Trevor could be very charming, but when I wasn't on his "side" anymore, well I felt the full brunt of "divide and conquer". I consider my Mom a very intelligent person, but I will always remember she chose Trevor over me, as did my dad and brothers. I love her and it doesn't make her a bad person, he was just that good at what he did.
Trevor had a screwed up life with a very screwed up mom, but A LOT of people tried to help him. Ultimately Henry/Trevor chose to never stay in any place long enough to get the help that he desperately needed. It's easier to move, then to muster up the courage to get the help that you need. And his final act on this earth proves that. If this was an "accident", a moral person calls the police, seeks help for the victim and takes responsibility for what he or she has done. But he killed her, hid the body of the woman he loved in a storage locker, left his home and pets, and had 7 or 8 days to call, think, or to do anything close to the right thing. But he didn't. As fas I know,he didn't call, he didn't do anything. He ran,waited for police and took his own life instead of facing what he did. And if any note says he was sorry for what he did, doesn't almost all abusers feel and say they are sorry?? Does it make it any better? NO
I am truely sorry for all the family involved in this tragic event, especially Wendy's daughter. My heart and prayers go out to all involved.
MR.GEEZIL,ANY IDIOT THAT HAS EVER KNOWN ANYONE IN THIS SITUATION KNOWS THAT WHAT I SAY IS TRUE. WHY DON'T YOU CALL A PSYCHIATRIST AND ASK THEM ABOUT PSYCHOPATHIC KILLERS.IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROLLING THE OTHER PERSON,AND POWER. BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN EMOTIONS AND BY CONTROLLING THE OTHER PERSON IT GIVES THEM THE POWER THAT THEY SEEK BUT CAN NEVER ACHIEVE IN OTHER LEVELS OF THEIR LIFE.IF WENDY WOULD HAVE ESCAPED HE WOULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM.HE WAS A VERY SICK MAN AND CHOSE TO DO WHAT HE DID,AND ULTIMATELY DID HIS LAST CONTROLLING THING TO HIMSELF.HE AND ONLY HE WAS GOING TO CONTROL WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. HE KNEW AHEAD OF TIME WHAT A JURY WOULD DO AND TO BE IN THE CONTROL OF OTHERS,i.e. JURY OR PRISON WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO HIM SO HE CONTROLLED HIMSELF TO DEATH.
P.S. TO MR. GEEZIL, HIS LAST ACT OF CONTROL ON HIMSELF WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE HE EVER EXERCISED ANY "SELF CONTROL".
If its of any comfort to Wendy's family at all, the type of psychopath Henry/Trevor was [and, yes, "youknow", I caught the identity switch implication you made], he had molded what he thought was his perfect partner, his true victim.
So why kill her?
Because the planned move to Chicago without the dogs--HIS plan to move yet again, as again "youknow" so astutely noted keeping one step ahead of the truth--was the final straw.
She told him unquivocably NO.
I'm not going. I'm going to Buffalo to be with my daughter.
With his ego all about control (cf behavior with Brittany, even), how could he tolerate that from his "emotional slave", and now after all these years of successful control, he was ALL ego. So he killed her in just the way he had threatened to, so many times before.
BUT -- she had told him no.
Alas, Wendy had no idea of how to do it SAFELY, as concerned spoke about above. People get so far down that darkened pathway that they can't see the door handles always near by.
Still, please remember, he killed her because Wendy said
NO
which was her YES for Brittany.
You know what as the days go by I am reading all these different comments by everyone and I am starting to see why the world is getting so bad you can tell who the good people are versus who the people who are just talking to hear themselves talk!! Let's remember one thing here Wendy did not chose this fate !! No matter what was going on previous to this and no matter if the rumors were true or not the fact remains this Wendy was a good person and I am sure given the chance of leaving or being brutally murdered ,she would have left however she wasn't given that chance her life was just taken from her, did all of you people (who are blaming wendy for this and pointing fingers ) ever think maybe she was trying to leave maybe she was content knowing brittney was safe and she was slowly backing out and that is why she was killed? Maybe her plan was to not pick him over her daughter like some people are assuming but to indeed make sure she was safe with people who wendy knew could protect her and now wendy felt safe trying to get out and that is what she was attempting to do !!! the fact remains noone will ever know and pointing fingers and placing blame is wrong what is done is done and as I stated earlier I am sure this is not what wendy would have chose so unless you can say you walked a mile in her shoes then don't judge her!!!! Noone knows how she was feeling!!! Let us just remember she left behind a beautiful little girl who needs people to surround her with love and support and she should not have to read about people saying negative things about a mother who loved her enough to let her go so she could be safe let us all remember wendy for the good person she was!!!! I only met her a couple times but the times i did she always had a smile on her face and that is what I will always remember!!!!
CRIME
Abuse preceded ex-area woman’s slaying, reports show
By Gene Warner NEWS STAFF REPORTER
Updated: 11/07/07 6:56 AM
SOURCE: BUFFALO NEWS
A former West Seneca woman slain in Florida had frequently been abused by the boyfriend who shot her and left her body in a garage where it was found eight days later, authorities and family members said Tuesday.
The body of Wendy Dusza, 34, was discovered Saturday night at their Tampa condominium complex. She had been shot once in the head, authorities said.
Police issued a warrant for Trevor McGinty, 30, and traced him Sunday to a Gainesville, Fla., motel room, where he apparently shot himself to death.
Police reports and family members described an abusive relationship that Dusza was unable to escape.
“She was a great person, a very loving mom,” her daughter, Brittany Klodzinski, 14, said Tuesday by telephone from her grandmother’s home in West Seneca. “We did a lot of things together before she met Trevor.”
“He was always abusive toward her every time I was with them, and he was drinking,” Brittany added. “He would always hit her or push her or throw her around.”
Brittany had refused to return to her mother
’s home in Florida after coming here this summer to stay with her father, Michael Klodzinski Jr., and his family.
“We are just amazed, at her age, that she could see that she had to remove herself from this situation,” said Deborah Klodzinski, Brittany’s grandmother. “We were amazed.”
According to records from the Hernando County (Fla.) Sheriff
’s Office, an attack last February led to a domestic battery charge against McGinty.
“Wendy walked through the house and was ‘slammed’ around a few times in the garage,” the investigating deputy wrote in his report. “Trevor pulled her hair and slammed her on the ground. She advised [us] he threw her around like a ‘rag doll’ and pushed her. I did observe an area on the left side of Wendy’s head where there was hair missing.”
The report also accused McGinty of pushing Brittany, calling her names, throwing her stereo and PlayStation 2 game to the floor and trying to pull her off her bed before her mother walked into the room.
Brittany
’s grandmother also said the teenager had been grounded, in her bedroom, for months at a time.
“Wendy’s mother tried to get her out of the situation,” Deborah Klodzinski said. “Her brothers tried to get her out of the situation. And Brittany tried to get her out.”
But she didn
’t get out, and that apparently cost her her life.
Family members reported Dusza missing Friday after failing to hear from her for days. Hillsborough County sheriff
’s deputies who went into the couple’s condo found the couple’s dog and cat, which uncharacteristically had been left with no food or water.
Saturday night, after obtaining a search warrant, sheriff
’s deputies entered the nearby garage, where they found her bod
Being Britt's aunt, I know Wendy would never choose a man over her daughter. No one will ever know the exact details of what happened to Wendy and why Trevor did what he did. As Robert M. put it, it was because Wendy told him no. The truth of the matter is, no one was there that night and no one can say for sure what actually transpired; it is all just speculation. Trevor kept Wendy isolated from everyone as he watched and controlled her every move. There is not one of us who did not try to help Wendy get away from Trevor.
Please remember this, Brittany is reading everything you write. While no one in this world is perfect, there are certain things Britt does not need to read about her mom. Wendy truly loved her daughter and did the very best that she could raising her. I truly do believe that Wendy died knowing that Britt was safe with us here in NY. I can only hope that gave her some type of solice. She was taken away from her family and friends way too early. She will be greatly missed by everyone whose life she touched.
the remainder appears at: http://www.buffalonews.com/cityr...ory/
201371.html
I AM A FRIEND OF TREVORS SISTER ALISSON,AND I AM HERE TODAY LOOKING AT WHAT EVERYONE HAS WROTE. ALL OF YOU ARE SISTING HERE AND ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS WRONG AND WHO IS RIGHT ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION. THE FACT IS THAT IT WAS NOT A GOOD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED. IF YOU WANT TO SIT HERE AND SEND YOUR LOVE AND THOUGHTS THEN DO IT , BUT DO NOT SIT HERE AND ARGUE BACK AN FORTH WITH EACH OTHER. PEOPLE GET RAPPED UP IN THERE OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND FORGET WHAT THE SITUATION IS ALL ABOUT.
MY LOVE IS FOR BOTH FAMILYS.
I KNOW THAT TREVORS SISTER IS VERY SORRY FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE AND HER THOUGHT ARE WITH WENDYS FAMILY AS WELL.
Johnny Bouncewell. “Maybe HE knows something.” Yes. Yes I do. I’ve known Henry/Trevor for over ten years. He was a brother, friend, and a teacher to me. There were always two sides to Henry that made him such a complex person. When he was good, he was great. He had a natural talent of gab and he could entertain for hours with his stories of misadventure. When he was bad, he was rather rough. Yup, he had a rap sheet. Yea, he got in trouble. Bar fights and bad deals followed him (or perhaps he brought them) wherever he went.
Henry taught me how to stand my ground and be strong. In me he instilled a sense of adventure that has taken me around the globe. The street smarts he unknowingly gave me have many times helped to remove myself from undesirable situations that I
’ve either brought about or have the misfortune to be dropped into.
That being said, what he did was wrong. I am torn between my loss of a good friend and what he had transformed into. This was not the Henry I knew. Both of these people are gone and I am appalled by what he has done to Wendy.
My sympathies go out to Wendy
’s friends and family. This should not have ended in a manner such as this. I hope her daughter will be able to grow and become stronger. Hate him if you will, I understand.
Just as many of you have lost a friend in Wendy, I have lost a friend in Henry. Never once was he aggressive towards me and would always be there if I needed someone. For that I will miss.
A friend of mine was staying at the Clearwater Beach motel where Trevor and Wendy were staying. I went to visit my friend who was sat with Wendy and Trevor one evening. We all sat around the table and Wendy appeared upset about something, he was unsympathetic and was drinking a lot. As time went by he became abusive and started waving a knife around. He started verbaly abusing me, and I sensed he was going to get violent so I left. As I walked home I just couldn't believe what an evil bastard he was and prayed that Wendy would be OK. Pitty I didn't stay. I'm convinced he would have stabbed me....I would be the one dead, that asshole would have been in jail, and Wendy would still be alive.. Hope you're burning in hell Trevor.
Please let Wendy rest, no one deserves a coward of a man hitting and beating on her and especially a child. Everyone has an opionion but let wendy rest and think of ONLY the good things she brought to this world. I love Brit I get the honor of being her future step mom. Wendies shoes can never be filled. So I need everyone to pray for her and it must be working because she is tough. Pray for her families to heal there pain. Pray for my fiancee who has to be strong for his daughter! Wendy rest in peace. Sorry Trevor will never rest!
I want to wish the best to Wendy's family. I worked with her and had no idea of what was going on with her and Trevor. I wish I could have done something to help her, she has been in my thoughts since I heard the terrible news.
I have known Wendy for many years and she has always been a good person. She was fun, loving, caring and she was always a very involved mother to her child. I worked with her a long time and I never would have thought in a million years that she would have taken crap like this from anyone. Brittany, I am so very sorry that mom is gone, you were the apple of her eye and I know that you will grow to be a beautiful smart young women. Please stay sweet and know that we will be here if you need us. With love from our family to yours...God bless...
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
My thoughts and prayers are with Wendy's family.
I am Trevor's sister, Allison. I have been reading most of these posts and am at a loss for words. I too have been an observer of the most heinous and unthinkable crimes and have passed ignorant judgements. I have never understood the true magnitude of Bipolar Disorder. I myself have never suffered from depression. I have never dealt with demons, drug addictions, alcoholism, or violence toward others. My brother has been a confused and tortured soul for years. He left Texas and moved to Florida in search of a new life and a fresh start. We all know one can never run from yourself -- all evils and troubles will follow you, find you, and consume you. His entire family, excluding his Father and Stepmother, live in Texas. We would often go months without hearing from Trevor and when we would he would lie and lead us to believe that he was happy and successful. He said he found his true love and was wanting to ask Wendy's hand in marriage. As time went on it was apparant that their relationship had become tumultuous. I would receive random calls but was kept in the dark about the full extent of their lives. I knew there was domestic violence issues but when I spoke to them neither would admit to me what had happened. It would be some made up tale downplaying the actual events. We knew Trevor suffered from extreme mental disorders, we knew he took drugs and drank hard liquor often. We have all tried to intervene but ultimately it was on him. He lied to us time and time again. This incident was just as shocking to us as it was to Wendy's family and friends. Perhaps even more so because we were not in Florida witness to their behavior with each other. Wendy never spoke to me about abuse. Trevor, naturally, hid it well. If there was anything any of us could have done to help/prevent this horrifying crime/suicide we would have. We mourn Wendy. We also mourn Trevor. He was my brother. I will always remember him before he became the monster that he was. He was a happy baby, a loving child, and had a heart as big as Alaska. Unfortunately his heart become filled with darkness and despair. He self medicated with whiskey and cocaine instead of anti-depressants. Over the last few years his psychosis snowballed into an overwhelming rage that he could no longer control. And neither could we. No one could have prevented this. The only two people who truly knew the extent of the abuse are now gone. I am in shock as is my Mother. She blames herself, naturally. However it is not her fault nor mine nor anyone else's. I understand the anger. But please do not pass blame onto our family. We are suffering a great loss too. I have lost my brother, my Mother a son. Despite his sins, he is still my family and he was not always this person. God bless Wendy, Brittany, Deborah and the rest of the family. We're truly sorry for you loss. And we're truly sorry for ours.
Sincerely,
Allison
I'M FREE
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times,a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Author: Linda Jo Jackson
DEAR LINDA JO, I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A SONG TO DEDICATE TO WENDY'S FAMILY THAT HAD EXACTLY THOSE TYPE OF WORDS IN IT. I WISH I COULD HAVE FOUND A SONG SIMILAR BUT YOU HAVE JUST PRINTED SOMETHING EVEN BETTER. I KNOW WENDY'S FAMILY APPRECIATE IT.
Allison, while I understand you are grieving the loss of your brother, please think of this: there is one person who knows about the abuse, lived with it and, thank god, was able to escape it. Wendy's daughter witnessed the abuse her mother was subjected to first hand as well as the abuse your brother made her endure. No one deserves to be treated that way; especially that child. I am not diminishing your family's grief in any way. BiPolar Disorder is a very difficult disease to deal with. I only hope that you and your family will realize that this child lost her mother by your brother's hands and her life will never be the same. My prayers go out to you and your family for the loss of the person your brother was before he became a confused and tortured soul.
This is from her Aunt Kathy in Buffalo. I am her father's sister-in-law. I believe the song is appropriate at this time. But her life was taken unnecessarily. It doesn't make us feel any better because she lived with such an animal and we were unaware of that situation. You must have been aware living in FL. I was not aware that she lived with such an abusive person. Obviously, you were. Why was her father, Paul, not contacted on this? I don't think a song will make us feel better. She had more life ahead of her. The only thing that consoles me, as her aunt, is that she is in heaven. A song won't do it for me right now.
The previous message was noted for Jan & Bill Henry whom I met in Buffalo years ago at my house on Autumwood Dr. in Cheektowaga. It seems to me that you know more that we did in Buffalo. Maybe you should have notified the family here.
Brittany, please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and we are so sorry about the loss of your Mom. We thought the world of her and you too. We knew things were not quite right at your house and only wish we had been able to intervene. We are so thankful you were brave enough to get out.
Love, Linda, Keith and Penney
Uncle John and Aunt Kathy: You stated you live on Autumwood Dr. in Cheektavagas? Small world, I live on Basswood Dr. one block from you...I grew up and went to school with Wendy. She will be deeply missed.
Brit is a beatiful young lady, and one positive thing I feel about this tragic event is that she is now here with all of us and we are very blessed to have her soo close to the family now!
DEAR KATHY, WE ARE VERY GOOD FRIENDS WITH PAUL. BILL AND PAUL TALK ON THE PHONE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK. WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH WENDY AS I DON'T THINK PAUL KNEW. THE SONG WAS POSTED BY LINDA JO.I HAPPEN TO THINK IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND REPLIED TO HER ABOUT IT.I'M SORRY YOU DON'T AGREE.
WE'VE KNOWN PAUL FOR AT LEAST 35 YEARS THROUGH HIS FORMER WIFE DEBBIE AND HER FAMILY. WE'VE HAD LIMITED CONTACT WITH DEBBIE'S FAMILY OVER THE PAST 18 YEARS SINCE WE MOVED TO FLORIDA EXCEPT CHRISTMAS CARDS,PHONE CONVERSATIONS OCCASIONALLY AND AN OCCASIONALLY TRIP BACK TO BUFFALO.IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL WHEN YOU ASK ABOUT HOW SOMEONE'S KIDS ARE DOING FOR THEM TO TELL YOU HOW WONDERFUL THINGS ARE.WE KNEW WENDY FROM OUR TIME IN BUFFALO,WHEN WE MOVED WE LOST TOUCH WITH DEBBIE AND WENDY,AS THEY MOVED TOO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO WHEN YOU STATE THAT I KNEW SO MUCH.PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.
JAN
Brittany is a very brave young lady. She made a very difficult and adult decision for her own safety and stability. I cannot imagine what she feels right now.Wendy did not deserve this and Brittany does not deserve the loss of her Mom.
Thankfully she is surrounded in love!
My prayers and thoughts go to her and her family! Thank Heaven she has them.
I knew Wendy a few years back, and the last time I saw her or spoke to her was a few years ago, we went to lunch at the Olive Garden, in Hamburg, and she brought her daughter. She looked great, as usual, and her daughter Brittany was sooooo grown up - not the little toddler I remembered. We talked and had a nice lunch, I thought her daughter Brittany was a wonderful young girl, seemed "older and wiser" for her age but respectful and gracious at the same time. Wendy, I am sooooo sad that apparently you suffered, and for so long, you didn't deserve this, you deserved so much better. The entire time I knew you, you were trying so hard and I wish you had the happy ending you deserve. Amy
I am in shock. I haven't stopped thinking about this since I heard. I go back to childhood memories in my mind. Wendy was a good friend of our family while growing up. I visualize her smile. I think of us as kids, teenagers. She was real close with my sister Chris growing up here in Buffalo. We are praying for everyone.
Kim Reinard (Plummer)
Kim, I went through all my photo albums and I found old pics of you, Wendy, Sharon C. and the whole crew.... memories I've forgotten at Sharon's house.....thanks for the prayers....Amy Sucharski Croce
does anyone know if brittany's dog was able to be brought back to buffalo yet? i know that's not the main thing on everyone's mind at this time, but i'm sure that it would help brittany at least alittle to have her dog back with her?
yes i was able to get my dog....
she is coming up today and i cant wait
Brittany, I'm glad to hear that your getting your dog today, I hope she helps you to get through this terrible ordeal. My prayers go out to you and your family.
I'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE THAT I TALKED TO PAUL DUSZA LAST NIGHT ON THE PHONE AND TOLD HIM THE SONG I DEDICATED TO WENDY'S FAMILY(ONE DAY AT A TIME BY CHRISTY LANE) AND AS SOON AS I SAID CHRISTY LANE HE LET ME GO ON AND TELL HIM THE TITLE. HE SAID AS SOON AS I SAID CHRISTY LANE HE KNEW THE SONG BUT HAD TO WAIT AND HEAR IT FROM ME.IT SEEMS THAT IS HIS VERY FAVORITE SONG IN THE WORLD.HE STARTED SINGING THE WORDS.HE COULDN'T BELIEVE I HAD PICKED THAT SONG.IT WAS VERY TOUCHING.
I ALSO READ HIM THE POEM THAT WAS SENT BY A FRIEND OF WENDY'S,BY LINDA JO AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL HE WANTS ME TO FAX IT TO HIM SO HE CAN KEEP IT AND READ IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.HE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.I WANT WENDY'S FRIEND TO KNOW HOW MUCH HE APPRECIATED HEARING THAT POEM.HE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE AS WE BOTH COULD TELL YOU ARE A VERY CARING PERSON.
JAN HENRY
i have been reading some of the stuff on here and some of it is real nice butsome of it i have a hard time wrapping my brain around.for instance when the aunt kathy thinks that just because mr&mrs henry live in the state of floridathat they should know what's up in wendys life when she didn't even know her own nephew lived one block from her.floridas a big state,not just around the corner.it wasn't up to the henrys to keep tabs on wendy.i don't think that was their job discription,just wondering where the aunt was coming from she seems kind of weird to lay that on them.it seems that they are just friends of the family.
a friend of wendy
Ok, let the two individuals rest. This has happend and is now over and done with. Let them go, things like this happen everyday across the world. It was no-one's fault but Trevor's. He wanted to deal with it by ending his own life. Its sad, and i am sorry for the both families. We can't harp on this EVERYSINGLE day. Help is out there for people that want to help THEMSELVES. A family member, a friend, a sibling, a child can NOT help the individual from a violent relationship until they help themselves. I am sorry wendy went through this but at the same time stop blaming the people that knew what she was going through for not helping. Its sick reading how people can carry a conversation and point the finger. JUST STOP GO ON WITH YOUR LIVES. No one deserved any of this and Brittany doesnt deserve to be stuck reading everything on here.
To my darling Neice:
One day a mother died.
And on that clear, cold morning,
in the warmth of her bedroom,
the daughter was struck with
the pain of learning that sometimes
there isn't any more.
No more hugs,
no more lucky moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, No more 'just one minute'
Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away.
never to return before we can say good-bye, Say 'I Love You.'
So while we have it . . it's best we love it . .
And care for it and fix it when it's broken and take good care of it when it's sick.
This is true for marriage .... and friendships .
And children with bad report cards;
And dogs with bad hips;
And aging parents and grandparents
We keep them because they are worth it,
Because we cherish them!
Some things we keep --
like a best friend who moved away
or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that
make us happy, No matter what.
Life is important,
and so are the people we know
And so, we keep them close!
Britt - We all love you very much and we will all be there whenever you need us. I am just greatful that you were up here with us. Words cannot even beging to say how sorry I am that such a terrible thing happened to your mom. I know you loved her very much and you will miss her. I know your mom loved you more than anything in this world.
Jan - I am the one who posted the poem. I am Britt's Aunt. I found it on a website and I thought it more appropriate than a song. It was not a dedication to anyone but rather words to ponder during this difficult time.
Sam: I am not Aunt Kathy's nephew. I am Brit's Uncle, her father's twin brother. I stated that Brit has family one block away from me, and I was not aware of that. Small world I guess.
To Allison: Sister of Murderer...(sorry)...
Allison, I read your post and my heart goes out to you and your family too, however:
Please DON'T continue your family's 'denial' in the situation regarding Trevor.
I am a Recovering cocaine addict and Alcoholic! I was a millionaire at 27 and lost everything at 34! I was shot 2 times in drug deals-gone-bad! I was forced into treatment after a suicide attempt! I was diagnosed 'Bi-Polar' at Alexian Bros Hospital/Chicago! Stopped using...went to meetings and then...I founded and ran a drug treatment facility for 8 years! I am speaking to you from true-life experience and as a treatment professional! NOTE: I qualify....
I have first hand knowledge that your Mother and Father had numerous occasions to "Intervention" on Trevor, and like most families do, everyone "chose" (yes! It was a choice you all made! Now, a very unfortunate one!) to take the "easier-softer way" and let Trevor work his way out of his "illness/addictions".
Yes, Trevor could be very convincing and 'conning'...we all know...and we all knew he was full of sh*t! It amazes me that Brittany, a child still, had the guts and the "common sense" to see his horrible acts and BS for what is was and "ACTED upon it"! God Bless that lucky-sweet-strong little girl!
Trevor was "shipped off" to Florida from Texas, to escape the messes he created there and in Chicago. He was "Rewarded" for his bad behavior, then, with a Ford Contour SVT car! When you "Reward" bad-vicious behavior with new cars and money, what do you expect? Behavior/reward...behavior/bribe...behavior/
reward.
I'd really like to know who "bailed him out of Jail" the three times he was arrested this past year?? Who Allison??
If he was left in jail for 2-3 weeks , he would have had a "forced detox" and then, maybe someone could talk some sense to him when he was NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE of anything! Also now had a good taste of life behind bars(his future perhaps)! And Wendy might have had a chance to "escape". And I do mean "escape". Women in those situations of "abusive terror" only have a chance of leaving when they have a 'detox' time away from the abuser! That's why Trevor DID NOT LET HER GO to New York recently!
Unconsciously, they know if the person gets free of their "captive fear", they might lose them.
I am sorry in a sense to write this, since Britt is reading this, yet I feel she is a very very strong young lady and will understand this and perhaps help her.
Also, I am hoping that writing this today, someone may get a clue for another loved one who may be suffering/using like Trevor and INTERVENE IMMEDIATELY so the person can stop, detox, even for a short time , and get the help they need!
Most imp
PART 2...sorry, got cut off...
Most importantly! I hope this note may prompt someone, if only one person, to talk to their sister-friend-in law-daughterco worker-neighbor-aunt-neice-etc in a private and SAFE manner to let them know it ok to talk to them if there are any problems in their relationships/marrige that they would like to talk about in complete confidence. I would like to see Wendy's tragic end be the beginning to a legacy of survival and recovery from abuse like this...Her life will not go unnoticed and I will help in any way I can to support any Fund or Foundation in her name...she was a prisoner and paid the ultimate sacrifice! Her life can be the Salvation and Rescue for many many others...or even just one...that will be a Miracle in Her Name!
Geno P., St.Pete, FL
"What do we live for, if not to make the lives of others less difficult!" ---E.G. Eliot
To Geno:
Your words are true and accurate. I think everyone should know that Trevor called his sister about a week prior to this terrible incident stating he had suicidal thoughts due to a failing business. In fact, while he was on the phone with her, he had a gun to his head. These are all things that she does not mention in her post. She had talked to him again a few days later. Yet, she did nothing.
Get over it all...get on with your lives and stop all this pointing fingers. TREVOR was an adult. You can't mold an adult to behave well. Like you can a child when they grow to be an adult. Its no-one's fault BUT TREVORS. Trevor stayed in jail no one bailed him out. Those were his sentence dates. Anyway, i hope you realize Brittany reads these post. Just as Wendy never deserved any of this. Brittany doesnt deserve to read all the hate. Just keep it to your self. We will never know reasons, and i am sure Brittany would like to have peace and move on. Do her a favor and stop the finger pointing and go on with your lives.
My heart goes out to all of Wendy's family and friends. I am so very sorry for your loss. Wendy & I were very good friends in our younger years and our families have remained friends over the years. I remember her beautiful smile, her caring nature, and the fact that she would do anything for her friends. It's hard to believe that such a good person could meet an end such as this. When Amy stated earlier that Wendy always tried to find the good in people, I think she was right on.
That's just the kind of person Wendy was, probably largely due to the fact that she does have a very kind, loving, wonderful family. And although I am very very saddened that I will never see my old friend again, I'm grateful for the time we had together and how she touched my life. Christine Reinard
Hi. I'm a reporter with the St. Petersburg Times, and I would like to talk with family and friends of Wendy and Trevor. If you would like to talk, please contact me at 813.226-3373 or by email at vansickle@sptimes.com.
Ihave been reading for days and kept my comments quiet all but once way up this list. All should know Britts hangin tough, today she gets her dog back along with a piece of her mothers memory. I feel for Trevors familys loss, to a certain extent. They did not force Trevor to do this to Wendy. But I have had the pain of consoling Britt for days now, and I am glad to know that pain is nowhere near what Trevors evil soul is going through right now as it will be burned and tormented in the fires of hell for all eternity. Britt will be very well loved and taken care of, which was my vow at birth, and when I got custody of her back in July after hearing horrific things.
I hung out with Wendy and her cousin Jenny during our time at West Seneca West School. I can't beleive that this has happened to her. My friend from Buffalo called me when she heard about it on the news and I have been reading all of the stories online. I also live in Florida now. I just feel so terrible for Wendy's family and I wish I stayed in contact with her after high school.
My thoughts are prayers are with all who loved Wendy.
Katie
A Mother is taken
Many hearts awaken
Broken by death,
Everyones last breath.
Who is to blame,
Be you to ashame.
We are all Gods children when born,
But yet another one has fallen to Gods angel with horns.
The mother taken to the angels,
A new day of evangel.
I am no longer a prisoner,
Of one who was such a sinner
Do not mourn over me, do not scorn those whom have hurt me
But do not let it be.
Instead help a child escape the devils subject
And help the child escape the devils reject
Say a prayer that the pain of loss fades
So a child can get through her day
Cry for all who have lost
At a very high cost.
A mother, a daugther, a sister, a cousin, a niece, a neighbor, a lover,
Hold memories tight so you do not lose them forever.
I wrote this from my heart and it took a lot to put in poetry perspective.
I don't know if anyone noticed, but the Gainesville police reported he left the suicide note stating: I am sorry for my suicide and what happened was an accident...
Now nobody knows if that was the actual order/words he wrote that in, but if so, even in the end that evil man thought of himself first! Very disturbing....
Woman was created from the rib of Man.
She was not made from his head to top him.
Nor out of his feet, to be trampled upon.
But out of his side to be equal to him.
Under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be Loved!!
Wendy, you will be dearly missed,
you were a good hearted, fun loving,
beautiful woman, I can see your daughter is turning out to be just as wonderful as you were. Brittany, were here for you, should you need anything, to talk, go shopping, or just hang out. We love You!
Deanna Klodzinski(Aunt)
Dear Brittany,
As I wrote before to you and your Dad you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have always been the type of person to want to help and I know there probablly is not much I could do. I have known your Mom and Dad for almost 20 years and I just have not been able to stop thinking about you and your family. I have a little girl myself and my heart goes out to you sweetheart. I have a son too he is your age. I know that you have been living here not all that long, so I just wanted to extend the offer that if you ever want to hang out with some kids, play video games, go skating,or whatever you kids do. I thought that maybe sometime you might be interested. I guess that is about all that I would be able to do, but I just would like to something. Hang in there kiddo, you have a great Dad and he will always be there for you. Take care honey...Jenn Dittmar
Dear Someone...
You are right, Trevor was an adult. You left something important out though;
He was a 'drinking to excess' and 'drugging to excess' alcoholic and drug addict, con-man, physical-emotional abuser!
Were you in court any of those three occasions on the prosecution side to help Trevor by being a witness to have him "Court-Ordered" to substance abuse inpatient treatment? Were You?
It sounds like you knew what he was doing to himself and Wendy?
I hated my doctor who had me "institutionalized" in a nut house before Icompleted the 28 day program and 1 year aftercare! I HATED him at that moment!...and I'm clean 21 years last May and I hug-kiss that dr (Dr. Ghattas) ever time I saw him!
So don't lay that irresponsible liberal mumbo-jumbo, "What can I do, baby whine!!!" that "You can't mold an adult to behave well." Because someone(s) sure molded this out-of-control 34 yr old! To live a life 180 degrees from the way I had for 21 years before(started using-drinking steady at 13)!
If we all believed the crap you believe the world would have NO ONE in recovery! Maybe you can sell that at the Betty Ford clinic, or Mayo, or Hazellton, or Stepping Stone, or AA, NA, CA, GA, SAA, OEA, Alanon, or Alateen...you single minded clueless ignoramous!
When I led many Treatment Centers for Care-Unit(7 units @ 30-60 per unit per month), I used to hear from the "doubting Thomas" parents-spouses-employers-kids-parents-etc the same story over and over..."You know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink!" (They were already making excuses for their loved ones FAILURE before they even started!!! O M G !!!)
To which my standard reply was..."Yes, sometimes that's true, however we have some very persuasive ways to make them VERY VERY THIRSTY!". And those persuasive ways were called "serious consequences"! Immediately we STOPPED any and all rewards/bribes for using behavior-attitudes-threats!
You would be amazed how human we really are when the help we need is given "unconditionally" and full force with no surrender...Tough Love my friend, Tough Love!
God bless you Britt and so happy to hear your doggy is home with you!
To Britt: Someone told me this at my Dads Memorial(19 yrs ago)...."Every night when you go outside and see the stars in the sky, when you see the "Brightest Star" in that sky "TWINKLING"
....that's your Lovely Mom 'winking' at you and saying
Cont:
To Britt: Someone told me this at my Dads Memorial(19 yrs ago)...."Every night when you go outside and see the stars in the sky, when you see the "Brightest Star" in that sky "TWINKLING"
....that's your Lovely Mom 'winking' at you and saying: " I Love You and Sweet Dreams tonite! "
No-one made him drink no-one made him do drugs. My point is he chose to make his own decision's. We can't hold his hand every second and say dont drink dont do drugs. Those are his choices. Were they right? NO; not at all. My other point is no-one needs to point the finger anymore. They are both gone and there is nothing we can do to bring them back. Instead of writing on here every minute, hour and day, go help another individual out so they dont get hurt or abused. Dont sit here in front of the computer and bad mouth anyone who makes a comment that you dont approve of. Get a life outside this website. Help people out there. I dont care to know your personal life. Everyone is different and have other problems going on. So Trevor didnt want help, he dealt with it and he's gone. No need to STAY on here CONSTANTLY and argue with one another. THATS WHY THIS WORLD IS THE WAY IT IS. YOU PEOPLE THINK ITS OUR, YOUR, HIS, HER PLACE TO JUDGE SOMEONE. ITS NOT!!! LEAVE IT FOR THE MAN UPSTAIRS! If it was someone in your family that this happend to. I would think you'd like some peace and quiet. You wouldnt appreciate others budding in and trying to point fingers. Get on with your life leave Trevors family alone. Leave Wendy's family alone as well.
to someone: allyou have to do is turn off your own computer!!!!!!and not turn it back on.
To the addiction counselor. You know very well that all the intervention in the world will do no good, if the addict doesn't want to get better inside themselves! Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda....it makes not one whit of difference if Trevor didn't want to get better. They'd have made more progress eroding away a brick wall with their breaths as they talked at it. You know this! Shame on you for pawning off guilt onto them!
No-one made him drink no-one made him do drugs. My point is he chose to make his own decision's. We can't hold his hand every second and say dont drink dont do drugs. Those are his choices. Were they right? NO; not at all. My other point is no-one needs to point the finger anymore. They are both gone and there is nothing we can do to bring them back. Instead of writing on here every minute, hour and day, go help another individual out so they dont get hurt or abused. Dont sit here in front of the computer and bad mouth anyone who makes a comment that you dont approve of. Get a life outside this website. Help people out there. I dont care to know your personal life. Everyone is different and have other problems going on. So Trevor didnt want help, he dealt with it and he's gone. No need to STAY on here CONSTANTLY and argue with one another. THATS WHY THIS WORLD IS THE WAY IT IS. YOU PEOPLE THINK ITS OUR, YOUR, HIS, HER PLACE TO JUDGE SOMEONE. ITS NOT!!! LEAVE IT FOR THE MAN UPSTAIRS! If it was someone in your family that this happend to. I would think you'd like some peace and quiet. You wouldnt appreciate others budding in and trying to point fingers. Get on with your life leave Trevors family alone. Leave Wendy's family alone as well.
SAM I could turn my computer off and not turn it back on! But i wont do it for you...sorry! I was thinking of Wendy's daughter. Do you honestly think SHE ENJOYS READING ALL THIS "bs" THAT MEANS NOTHING TO HER? I know she loves to hear the condolences and sympathy. Just think about her, she's reading this! Several comments have been mentioned to respect the fact that she's reading these and to keep the arguing away.
We come here, to figure out why such things happen, so that perhaps we can find a way to sense the events coming, and maybe find a way to head things off in some cases. That is why we are here. This is part of human nature, to try to figure out why others do such things. It is part of our mental framework, part of "how we tick" to do such things, it is hardwired into our psyches. For some this urge is concious, and stronger than others. The "websleuthing" community has also helped in criminal investigations, a prime example being the case of Taylor Behl.
From the first time I met Wendy she took me under her wing like the little sister she never had. She was a sweet, compassionate, yet very driven woman. She was on the road to success and big things for her and Brittany until that unfortunate relationship with Trevor began. It was all down hill from there. Once she starting dating him she stayed secluded from us. We usually only got to see her during holidays or birthdays and even that was difficult because we knew we would have to put up with "loud mouth". Even though I'm not "part of the family" anymore I still consider myself very close to them and have been with her Mother, Step-Father and brother Russ since we found out this tragic news. I am eager to get back to Buffalo to see all her family and mine, but saddened under the circumstance by this reunion. Especially considering that this time last year we were just there under the same instance (Hi Uncle Jim).
Brittany- Hi baby, it's "auntie" Nikki. I wish I could've talked to you the other day with Uncle Russ but he said that you are very strong and mature. I am glad to hear that! Hope you and Lucky are having fun and can't wait to see you on Saturday. Never forget how much your mom loved you and don't hold anything against her. Just remember that I'm a phone call away no matter what time of day or night. You always have a place to stay when you want to come and hang out on the beach (b/c it's always 80degrees in Tampa). You are surrounded by soooo many people who love you and your mom is always watching over you. I love you
Cont’d...
Mike-I know you already know this but you have a wonderful daughter. You should be proud of both you and her. I know Wendy is thanking you now for helping Britt to stay up there with you and not allowing her to be involved in the tragedy. Keep your head up and stay strong.
My wife and I used to hang out with Mike and Wendy at separate times before they even met each other. We haven't talked to either in a very long time and I am sorry that it takes such a tragedy to bring friends together. To Mike: I know it's been a long time and have not even met your daughter, but I hope you can help her find the strength to deal with her loss. We are still in Buffalo and are just a phone call away if you need anything. To Wendy's family: We did know her and have very fond memories of her time with us. She was very happy and very kind. We share your heartache in your time of loss and hope you can also find the strength to deal with this loss.
As much as I have disliked some of the comments, this site has given me some comfort and answers. I know some of your comments have not been so nice, but everyone grieves in their own way and has different opinions. I pray that everyone can find comfort eventually, especially you Brit! You are such a beautiful and strong girl. I know your mom is very proud of you!! You know I will always be here for you.. I love you very much!!!
Cont...and as for you Mike......thankyou for being such an awesome father to Brit and keeping her here in Buffalo!! We love you like family and know you will always take care of her..and Carrie, I am sure it is quite crazy right now, but we would like you to know that we appreciate all that you do...you are a wonderful person.. we are a phone call away if you need anything..Love ya..Aunt Amy/Amy
Hello brit not sure if u remember me or not. I just saw you on the local news here in tampa recieving your dog. it really hit me with sadness but yet joy. I remember wendy and you would come hang out with me at the airport before you guys would fly to buf for the holidays, her buying us starbucks and just hanging out. she was so very nice to me. she has done some great things for me, i still have a cple things she got me for christmas years back, (when i was least expecting it). She was so kind, and i want u to know that. she loved you so soo much brit.... oh and do u still have that phone i gave her to give to you. Keep strong hun. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers take care
I keep coming back to this page, as many of you do, to try to find answers. I wanted to know if there was a symbol to show support against domestic violence. In visiting KatK's home page, I found the symbol. It is the purple ribbon shaped in the same manner as the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon. The links below are copied from information on KatK's homepage. I hope the links work for you. Support those affected and educate those who are ignorant.
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesl...1601/
dvmap.html
http://www.geocities.com/
Wellesl...ndchildren.html
http://www.geocities.com/
Wellesl...rpleribbon.html
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesl...1601/
wheel.html
http://www.geocities.com/
Wellesl...dvfactstwo.html
Thank you KatK.
Britt's Gram
To wendys' family: my deepest sympathy goes out to all of you. wendy will never be forgotten.
to someone:i didn't indicate you turn off your computer for ME. i indicated you turn it off for YOU.you seem to be the one getting upset soyou would be the one to benefit from turning it off and get on with your life.
PLEASE EVERYONE: LET US HAVE ONE HOUR OF SILENCE FROM 11a.m.TO 12noon FOR WENDYS MEMORIAL SERVICE.
THANK YOU EVERYONE
JAN HENRY
I'M POSTING THIS AT THE REQUEST OF WENDY'S FATHER,PAUL DUSZA----------
FIRST HE WANTS TO THANK EVERYONE THAT ATTENDED THE MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR WENDY AND ALSO THANKS EVERYONE WHO COULDN'T ATTEND FOR ALL THEIR KINDNESS AND LOVE.HE ALSO WANTS THE ONES IN FLORIDA WHO COULDN'T BE HERE TO KNOW HE APPRECIATES THEIR BEAUTIFUL FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS AND HE WAS SO TOUCHED BY EVERYONES LOVE FOR WENDY.
HE FELT AT THE END OF THE SERVICE HE NEEDED TO SAY SOMETHING BUT DIDN'T KNOW IF HE COULD.HE EXPLAINED TO ME HOW IT TOOK ALL HE COULD DO TO GET UP IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND SPEAK BUT SOMEHOW THE STRENGTH CAME TO HIM.
HE EXPLAINED THERE WAS A BOUQUET OF 34 ROSES,I FOR EACH YEAR OF WENDY'S LIFE.THERE WAS 33 PINK ONES AND 1 WHITE ONE AND AN ANGEL IN THEM.THE WHITE ONE WAS FOR BRITTANY. WHEN HE GAVE IT TO HER HE SAID TO HER AS HE PUT THE ROSE TO HIS EYE: AS THE TEAR FELL ON THIS LITTLE WHITE ROSE, THE TEAR WILL DRY BUT THE MEMORY OF YOUR MOTHER WILL LIVE FOREVER,AND FOR THE REST OF US ANYTIME WE SEE A LITTLE WHITE ROSE WE WILL REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER AND KEEP HER IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER.
HE WANTED ME TO ADD THIS SO THAT EVERYONE THAT WAS THERE AND EVERYONE THAT WASN'T THERE THAT HE HAD MORE TO SAY BUT COULDN'T AT THE TIME. THIS IS THE COMPLETE WORDS HE WANTED TO SAY TO YOU BRITTANY:
AS THE TEAR FELL ON THE LITTLE WHITE ROSE,THE TEAR WILL DRY BUT THE MEMORY OF YOUR MOTHER WILL LIVE ON FOREVER AND FOR ALL THE REST OF US, ANYTIME WE SEE A LITTLE WHITE ROSE WE WILL REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER AND KEEP HER IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER.PRESS THIS ROSE INTO THE PAGES OF YOUR HEART AND WHEN YOU'RE SAD AND LONELY YOUR MOTHER WILL BE THERE.
I LOVE YOU BRITT
GRAMPA
I dated wendys brother brian for almost 10 years. Wendy is a women you can never forget. she puts everone in front of her, before caring about herself. She was a loving mother, and did everthing and more for brittany. She was a hard worker who never gave up. Everything she did she gave 110 % if not more. I never met someone so kind and caring as she was. I am proud to say she was my sister for the 10 years i knew her.
I will never forget all the things shes done for me and my ex.Shes done more than i could ever ask for me, and then some. I moved done here without notice 3 years ago, no thanks to my ex. and she opened doors wide open for me. That same day Trevor moved in. When I first met him I knew he was trouble. I didn"t like him , And I told Wendy this. She feel in love with him because he gave her a new love. He did Spoil her and give her 100 % attention that I think she never had. Hermen were always pretty, muscular men, with big ego heads. She died for a scumbag that thought her ruled the world because he had a gouragous lady, with a heart of gold on his arm.
I would like to give my love and respect to the family. everyone will be in my heart and thoughts.
Brittany I am so sirry I can't be here for you. You will always be my ynattirb. I love you and miss you. Remember all the good times we had, and keep up the good work in school. Auntie kimmy misses and loves you.
If yous need anything please let me know. I miss the family and wish you all much love and happiness.
kimberly miszko
"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intellingent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wendy, You will never be forgotten. Thank you so much for guiding me through my young adulthood. There is no question you have made me the man I am today!
Brittany, Together we will get through this. Just like the pastor preached... you must continue your mothers sweet legacy. As we all know my sister was the strongest most independent, amazing women, and her life will continue through brittany. Thank you everybody for all your loving support... my family will never forget it!
Russell Dusza
YOU can make a difference ... join The International Purple Ribbon Project and wear a purple ribbon for both Wendy and Brittany.
Thank you.
http://www.purpleribbonproject.com/
Brittany, I know I haven't known you for long since you moved to New York, but i've come to know that you are a sweet girl. I don't understand everything that you are going through right now, but I want you to know I am here for you Britt. Even though I haven't known you for long at all, I truly care about you and I want you to know that I am here for you and that you can talk to me about anything. When I saw those pictures of your mom in art class I knew by her smile that she was a wonderful person and you will grow up to be just like her. I am also going to support your purple ribbon campaign project because I want to help you in any possible way.
Awareness - Purple Ribbon Pins are available on line at:
www.pinmart.com/shopDetails.cfm?p=5767
Just wanted to let everyone that lives in Florida know that there is a big fundraiser in memory of Wendy (to benefit Brittany's Trustfund) this weekend in New Port Richey. There is going to be many vendors there and a huge silent auction. Please stop by and show some support. 100% of the funds will go to Brittany!!!!
In Memory of Wendy Dusza
@ Curves of Mitchell Ranch 727-834-8720. Located at the corner of Little Road and State Road 54. This event is on Saturday, November 17th from 1-5pm. If you have any questions you can contact myself @ 727-505-7681.
Thank you in advance for your support.
Hello all,
We are in final steps for the benefit for Brittany and raising awareness AGAINST domestic violence and I will be looking for donations, volunteers, caterers, things(baskets and gift certificates) for the chinese auction, etc. Please email me @ carrie.casu@yahoo.com Thank you.
Sorry about that. This Carrie - Brit future step-mom. The Benefit will be in Buffalo, NY. Thank you
I'm Speechless.... Wendy was a good person....and a good Mother & she will be missed....
To Wendy's family.... You are all in my thought's & prayers...Brit, I am so sorry to hear about what has happened to your beautiful mother, no child should ever have to go through what you have been through.
I pray you can find peace in knowing she is a beautiful angel in heaven & at peace with god ..she will be
with you always to protect you & guide you...YOU WERE HER WHOLE WORLD!!...
as for all the B.S. being written about wendy...i have one thing to say to all of those terrible people ''you should be ashamed of your self's''& may god forgive you....
Britt is the one right now that needs all of the love and support everyone can give her. Focus the positive memories & the love her mom had for her & keep ONLY those thought's alive...
We can never make sence of this kind of tradity, but we can try and prevent it from happening again to someone else...please in memory of wendy pray for the families and all the girls out there with an abusive partner to GET OUT NOW! PLEASE GOD, GIVE THEM THE STRENGTH TO RUN HOME OR TO A FRIENDS FOR HELP...PLEASE!
you are truly an angel...may you be at peace...i love you .i will keep your baby in my thought's & prayers always..
love candy
Hello all,
In Memory of Wendy Dusza, Please purchase a bracelet and help us speak out against domestic violence! There are also key chains and candles. Please visit
www.youravon.com/ccasuccio
or copy and paste
http://shop.avon.com/shop/produc...=383&
cat_type=C
100% of the proceeds goes to women and children escaping Domestic Violence.
Thank you!
I knew Henry and his family in Texas in my early teens. He only lived here for a year or so, and would visit occasionally because his sister Allison still lived here. At first we had to hang out since my parents knew his step father. But then we became friends and actually kept in touch a bit when he moved back to wherever it was he moved to (I guess it was Chicago?). Granted, this was about 15 years ago, but I remember Henry as a fun-loving guy that would share jokes and laugh and just was great to talk to.
It
’s strange because I even had a little crush on him at the time, and even though I was only in 8th or 9th grade, I can’t help but be weirded out a bit by that.
It is so heartbreaking that this happened. It makes me sad that he was in such an unhappy place, and that he couldn
’t have a moment of clarity and seek help. It’s sad all around. I haven’t seen him since we were both about 17, so I never saw this side to him and it is really just unbelievable. When I first saw his picture after I heard about this, I was more sad than ever because he looked just like he did in 8th grade with chubby cheeks and a big rosy face and smile. It’s just hard to believe that someone can become so sick when they started out with a pure heart just like the rest of us…
My heart goes out to Wendy’s family and friends.
To Henry
’s family: I will also be thinking of all of you. I know that y’all are all good honest people, not monsters that just let this happen… And I will do my best to remember Henry as he was when I last saw him.
Allison i am so sorry for your loss, mom pulled out a picture of Henry,her and Pat on the porch at the old house.. i guess they were just happier times
it's been too many years since we've last seen you and your mother
our prayers are with you
And to Wendy's family,
our family prays for yours,
with deapest condolenses may Gods bless you
Sincerly,
Samantha
I have been in Wendy's situation, in a gradually abusive relationship with a mentally ill man. I have a daughter. Wendy probably knew that she was in the grip of a relationship that she couldn't control at that time and would have wanted to save her daughter. Allowing her daughter to live with her father was an unselfish loving act...
Eventually I got out, time heals, but...it could have been me. Wendy just didn't have enough time to move on before he became very dangerous.
I hope Brittany will thrive and form good relationships in the future knowing that her mum loved her.
Some time has past since this all went down and I see the comments are all but done. I just want to let you know Britt that we as a family miss you and hope that all is well with you. You where always a sweet kid and our prayers are with your Mom. I am just glad you are in a safe place, I think about that as I look at the empty house across the street from me every day. Good luck and I wish you the best. Dave
W E N D Y
Cousin - O - Law of mine.
You are STILL missed and cherished.
Your posting is still honnored on my myspace account.
myspace.com/my_photographic_soul
God Love Ya,
JoAnne
W E N D Y
Cousin - o law of mine,
You are missed and cherished.
I honnor you on my myspace account in "featured photos" every day.
Love,
Bobby's wife,
JoAnne
altough a little late but i just want to add my 2 cents i knew trevor unfortunatly i met him in hernando county jail he was in for discharge of a firearm i was there also on a domestic he was going trough alot because of his charges he got out on probation and anger management clases at growing center couseling in jail he approached myself and another inmate for spiritual insights he seemed to accept his past and before he left i was happy ithought he found peace he swore to never drink again he even sent a letter and a picture of him and his wife thanking us for helping him i later saw him once at growing center counseling he was with his wife and her brother in a red jeep it was his last class he completed the class i was happy thinking he would be ok but a few weeks later was watching the news and saw what he did... to his family and hers im terrible sorry for his actions altough i only met her once she seemed like a beautiful big hearted person and did not deserve such a thing even tho i kinda considered him a friend what he did was f up and now only god can judge him his eternity rest on his actions i wish this never happened and it was all a bad nightmare but its not and to the families im terribly sorry for your lost..angel
It's about time / way overdue I said something on this site, I'm sorry, but a lot of tears. SOME REALLY NASTY PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL WOMEN YOU WERE!!! I miss my friend terribly!! Wendy, you were working the phones when I pulled up in a new car and said "F&^%k it" we're going for a ride -she clocked out and away we went in my new/used firebird. My birthday just past as yours--we always celebrated together. I am actually crying right now thinking of our crazy times. I miss your mom and Joe as we have all had so many years together. Bless you and you may be safe and happy. I LOVE YOU WD!!! kp (kayleen) XOXXO
i cant belive any of you would say that my mom was on drugs!
trevor was the one that was on the drugs here, so dont put this on my mom.
if anything, i would be the one to know about what trevor was like because i had to put up with him as well, and let me tell you; living with him was hell.
and the real reason why i left was because i wanted to try to find a way that my mom and i could leave.. together. i hoped that she would follow me. but i guess that didnt work.
i used to sit there and watch him beat the living crap out of her.. and every time i would try to back him away from her, he would just push me away.
it is just horrible to see those memories replay in my mind..
i feel terrible that i left.
i really dont think he would have done what he did if i was still there. i mean if he was going to do it, then he would have done it already because we were living together for 3 years..
its just coincidental because it happened only months after i left.
i just have one thing to say.
dont make these assumptions unless you know the information.
i know what happened, and thats that.
everyone please let wendy and trevor rest in peace, the whole circumstance was unfortunate, im alkso a family friend of the mcgintys, and trevor was a nice young guy, just unfortunate he turned to darkness, godbless all involved, we all need to have our memories and move on! GODBLESS
sorry i wasnt finished... god bless you wendy, your gods angel now look after brittany, and too brittany, may your heart become stronger"godblessyou
x
i've been reading these comments for months now.. and it seems that everyone has forgotten about them..
i think you all should know that i do read the horrible things that you say about my mom.. and i dont appreciate you talking like that about her.. because you either dont know her or you have nothing else to do besides sit there and insult everyone else based on things that you have no idea upon..
thats just unfair; and no one should have to read it.
i dont think you understand how hard it is to lose someone that you love.. because some things that you say wouldnt have been said..
i think about this garbage dump of a situation everyday.. an its not easy to live with it.
because there is so much other things that are bothering me right now besides the loss of my mom.. and for you to say negative things about her just pisses me off..
the point that i am trying to get at is just shut up, and dont say anything if you dont know what you are talking about; or unless you might have the slightest idea on what this feels like.
and to be quite honest.. about this and what happened; i only left florida and my mom because i couldnt stand being in the same household as trevor any longer... he was always abusing her, always drinking and he even abused me.. not quite as much physical, but more emotional..
to continue on that, trevor was a jerk. and i think its about time that people should know the real trevor.. he was a very controling and manipulative person.. thats one of the reasons why my mom fell for him. he was all nice and sweet to her in the beginning, but then he turned out to be just what i had thought he would be. she accepted him because he was loving and she needed that kind of commitment in her life.. and he took full advantage of her.. she was such a sweet woman and she did not deserve any of this.. and its not fair that this had to happen to her.. i just want everyone to know that i would know because i am the second victim here.. he was the worst person to ever possibly live with. i dont even know how i did it all of those years..
and to be quite honest, i dont think that he would have done it if i was still there.. i mean if he was intending on doing it then he would have done it in between the three years that we were living with him.. i think that because i left, he took more advantage of her because i wasnt there to stop him from beating the living crap out of my mom.. and she didnt fight for custody of me because she KNEW that i was right. and she was scared of what he might have done to me..
i just miss her so much.. and theres s much more to say but i dont even know how to explain how i am feeling right now. it is sooo hard to have to live with this everyday.. and not only did i lose my mom, but ive lost other people that are important to me and i dont understand why this is all happening to me..
Dear Brittany...Heve not been here in long time-
You are a survivor 4 sure-
Never met your Mom, but knew Trevor-
He was BUM...Sick-Demented-Evil BUM-
I worked with him for 1 yr or so and even had him fired for his lying-cheating-sick mean ways-
Don't dwell on him-
Don't let him "Live rent free in your head" or your soul-
Think of your sweet loving Mom and all the fun good times you had with her-
She's an Angel now for You!
So are the others who Love you and are gone-
he's gone and the world is better for that-
You will get better...maybe never well from this tragedy, but it will get better-
Think loving thoughts of you Mom...She loves you and is with you!
xoxo Geno P., St. Pete, FL
TO "tired"....(10-28-0
Trevor WAS NOT EVER a "nice young guy"....
He only "ACTED NICE" to suk you into his little phoney masquerade...
The guy was a real SCHMUCK, LAZY & COWARD...
I know! I was with him daily for 10 months! And saw his actions for many months later and heard of his behaviors for the years before! Just because he's dead doesn't give him a "pass" or sympathy! He treated his previous girlfriend like dirt!! He treated Wendy like dirt!! And he treated his own family like dirt!! Used them all!! Lies-scams-cheating-abuses-crimes!! His own family kept a long distance from him for good reason!! He scammed-cheated-sbused them countless times!!
"Tired", you need to focus your good will on a worthwhile good cause...he doesn't deserve it.
I absolutely feel for his family too. How horrible to lose their son, and also wonder if they could have stopped him before he "MURDERED" 2 people...
There is a hell for a reason! And he qualifies with top honors! For Wendy's tragic murder and all the abuses he left behind.
(PS: Obviously he fooled you too! Not surprised, he was a great con-man!)
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