You're serious, aren't you?
What a douchebag. Ever heard of satire?
Pete, I hate to tell you this, but The Onion is a humor publication where all of their interviews and articles are made up. But I'm glad you took it seriously.
*cough*satire*cough
That's beautiful. I mean, the Onion is consciously working to create satire and yet you outdid them by writing an absurdly funny article without even knowing it!
How on earth did you learn to use a computer?
AHAHAHA! Totally missed the boat, huh? You are so smart, S-M-R-T!
Check it out: http://sufficientscruples.com/bl...tinuing-series/
Oh Pete, I am really blown away with your sheer lack of a clue. I am sorry that you fell for the Onion's satire.
I hope you do a bit more research next time before you fly off the handle.
Best of luck with burning and creating your lynch mob for this fictious woman.
Wow, you're obtuse! But I won't criticize you; I'll pray for you.
You are a dumbfuck.
And in your banner, is the sentence "We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life" a reference to a period? Serisouly, I didn't not know that the shedding of my unterine lining was actually a pro-life rally. I'll let my right-wing fallopian tubes have it later.
I promise you, I'm honestly curious. Are you a little bit embarassed for misinterpreting The Onion? Who pointed this article out to you? Or have you read the e-magazine before, always taking it seriously? Do you believe us when we say it's not? Please, drop me a line.
I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?
Bra. Vo.
Dumbshits like you are why I left the anti-abortion movement and the Republican party years ago. Christ on a cracker, dude, where have you been the last 5 years if you don't know that The Onion is a satirical site?
Lemme just say, I was at the post-abortion party and if fucking rocked....Fallopian tubes were just falling out for the hell of it.
I believe L. Ron Hubbard could use a mindless zealot like yourself.
And some irony from one of his other posts:
So why do many liberals believe that it's okay to kill someone who kills animals, believes in war to challenge evil or digs up a forest for lumber. The answer of course is that we expect liberals to talk and act like lunatics.
Oops... forgot to add the 2nd part:
Blogmaster is right. Liberals always talk like lunatics. They should talk like his colleague, Rev. Spitz:
I think it is morally jusified to kill a babykilling abortionist if that is the only way to stop him/her from murdering more innocent babies. I know you don't agree...
Wow.
Really...
Wow.
Its semi-retarded people like you that make the world go round. Now stop blogging and get back to your job as an elevator operator. Just remember, its so nice being an epsilon level citizen, without having to worry your noggin about thinking mans problems.
M-O-O-N. That spells "dumb".
Oh. My. God. I'm saving this as a PDF to use as an example that someone actually beleived a story from the Onion. Nobody will believe me otherwise.
HAH! I laugh at you! Pathetic excuse for a caring human being. I didn't think it was possible, but you make the fascists you agree with look bad! May the great and glorious FSM have mercy on you and allow you to have a brain in the next life!
Hey Asshat.. Your refridgerator is running. C'mon.. Who read the article to you?
There is no parody like self-parody. Who on the internet doesn't know that The Onion is a satire site?
And I say that as a pro-lifer myself.
I'm tempted to snark about your qualifications to be an elevator operator, but I'll just go away.
Snickering.
M'Gawd. Stupidity on such a vast scale amazing, and the fact that it took you still don't get it seven years after this article was written simply boggles the mind.
But Pete, the Onion article is from 1999. Don't you think you should try to track her down and see if her views have changed in the last seven years? That should be easy to do, except for how she's completely imaginary.
And shouldn't you be concerned by more recent events also reported in that paper of record, like this shocking development?
Another follower of the FSM? It is good to see His noodly appendage bringing us together. I always liked onions in my meatballs.
You idiot. Have fun with your crusade, jackass.
Oh my! It must be REALLY embarrassing to be you.
Nice. The Onion is a SATIRE paper, you stupid ass. You people are just dumbing down the gene pool aren't you?
Wow, this is just the belly-laugh I needed to end a fabulous weekend. While it is frightening that people can actually survive into adulthood with this severe a case of tunnel-vision and general jackassery, it least sometimes it provides a good guffaw.
Cheerio!
I always suspected rabid pro-lifers were idiots. Now here's proof.
Fume all you want, abortion is still legal and most likely always will be, at least in your lifetime.
Gosh, I'm sorry you got confused. It must be kind of embarrassing. I thought maybe you were doing a Colbert-style parody, but... uh, the other stuff in your blog suggests to me that that is not the case.
Pwned.
Excellent. I think you should devote all of your energies to tracking down Miss Weber and changing her mind about abortion. After all, if you can change her mind, you can change anybody's.
And don't listen to all these commenters telling you that the Onion is satire. They don't know what they're talking about. You'll show them.
Hee! Thanks for the giggle. Great satire, A+.
...wait, you were serious? I... hot damn!
it's good to see that for every complete jackass out there who thinks he can run our country there are a hundred people ready to laugh their asses off at him. and pete.. you are a jackass.
now if we were just more vocal everywhere. somehow these guys get away with labeling liberals as hippies and conspiracy theorists (and as people who would actually write this complete joke article), when day after day this corrupt administration proves us more right. don't let them fit our country into their tunnel vision. call them out.
((OH P.S... did anyone think that maybe pete knew this article to be a joke, but used it to pursuade other like-minded tunnel-visionists to sway in his direction?? i wouldn't put it past him.))
Ladies and Gentlemen... we now have a new tide mark for the shallow end of the gene pool.
Hey, cretin, as everyone else has already told you, The Onion is a satire magazine.
The Onion article did make a good point, though. If contraception was covered by HMOs, there would be fewer pregnancies. Plus, because of you anti-choice people, pharmacists are refusing to fill perfectly legal birth control prescriptions. You anti-choice people brought on the abortions yourselves. Plus, it's clear you anti-choice people don't like sex unless its only in marriage. Talk about stupid and misguided.
Oh my god, you are SUCH a MORON! 
)
I havent laughed so much in ages. I feel lucky to have seen this, if I made a gaffe like this I'd have destroyed all evidence ASAP. But then again I took "Recognising Humour 101" and "Basic Identification of Jokes" so I knew what I was getting into.
Oh my god, this is almost as good as the lady who complained about an article praising JK Rowling as supporting a Satanist, quoting an Onion article as her source.
Honkknob! You're an idiot.
Hey fuckwad. Do you realize that the entire internet community is laughing at you now? Thanks for making my day.
Oh, but I do respect that you laid out exactly what pro-lifers really hate - promiscuous women. That is what it is all about - punishing women for having sex. If men were the ones getting pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
This is the best thing I have read in a long time. With people like you fighting to criminalize abortion, no one has anything to worry about.
If your goal was to suck all the credibility out of your "movement," you've succeeded. Congratulations, you've made all pro-lifers look like a bunch of people who can't CHECK THEIR SOURCES.
Dude, seriously, you need to get news from a more reputable source. Try http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
And when Bat Boy performed the abortion, he found Osama bin Laden hiding just beyond the under-developed fetus (dialysis machine and all.)
AWESOME. It's only Monday, and you just made my week!
Okay, I'll bite. Even if this were real, your argument about "sorry ma'am" but you shouldn't have had sex outside of marraige... makes no sense. How do you know if people are married or not? Married women get abortions. Seven-year olds that were raped can get abortions. The world isn't as simple as you think.
I think you meant "Blogging without conscience."
Holy fuck. Just... holy fuck. I thought the stupidometer didn't register this low, but apparently I was wrong.
Genius, "The Onion" is satire. You know, stuff made up to poke fun and make a point?
Dig out your blogging license; you're suspended until you grow some brain.
You are a fucking idiot. THE ONIION IS A SATIRICAL PUBLICATION. Jesus fucking CHRIST!!! *bangs head against wall*
Why did you abort your brain?
You tell 'em Pete!
Don't listen to these liberal pinko shmucks telling you that this is some sort of 'satire'. You've done a thorough and impressive job of debunking this Miss Weber bitch and those communist babykilling faggots know they don't have one single idea or argument that can stand up to your rigorous intellectual scrutiny. Their only hope now is to whine 'But we were only joking' like the crybabies they are and try to make you look like some sort of dumbass. Pay no attention! Real Americans can spot the truth a mile away, you mark my words.
These unChristian fucks pulled the same shit on us when we used an Onion article to expose Harry Potter for the Satanist cult it was. One minute we had a grassroots campaign bandwagon going, the next minute this 'satire' tag gets laid on it, and every punk-ass motherfucker on the internet starts laughing at us. It took us MONTHS to live that shit down.
Well I say enough! To hell with this liberal satire bullcrap. I'm armed, I'm a christian and I'm not afraid to defend my way of life with extreme prejudice! The next time one of you babykilling terrorist faggots wants to debase MY goddamn country and MY goddamn religion with this so-called "satire" shit, I'm going to grab the first motherfucking liberal abortionist I come across and ram my bible and a copy of the Bill of Rights up the bastard's ass. See how you'd like THAT, you satirical internet motherfuckers!
This is awesome. Best thing I've seen all day.
All those people are saying 'The Onion is satire' to throw you off the trail, Pete. Don't believe them. The Onion is a respected online journal - as it says in their masthead, "America's finest news source."
Keep up the good work, my friend.
Your new mantra:
Eye yam sofa king, we todd did.
Practice saying it out loud.
Wow, that second grade education is really paying off. Amazing.
In the blogosphere, no one can hear you check your sources, and then decide to take down the article. Well, maybe leave it up and pretend you didn't see the comments, and hope it all ends soon.
I bet this is not how you wanted your 15msecs of fame. Well, congratulation: you got it whether you like it or not.
For the record, I don't think you are necessarily stupid. I do think you might be a little too credulous, however. You might want to put together some arguments based on facts -- you ain't gonna convince many people if you keep shooting from the hip like this.
Maybe a review of "Modes of Reasoning"?
Better luck next time!
Pete,
This is utterly hysterical, your falling for an obvious satire/parody from a publication that's devoted to nothing other than parody. Your piece is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Next, you can pray for a brain. I'm sure it will be just as effective.
Don't listen to these naysayers. They are trying to throw you off the scent. The godless ones have let too much of themselves show and you called them on it. Kudos to you.
-kyle
Holy crap.
Although I suppose if you can believe a carpenter walked out of a cave after three days of somatic death, there's nothing to prevent you from believing that someone would be so excited about her abortion that she'd throw a party.
I suppose you thought Jonathan Swift was serious, too.
lmao.
...I...I...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The Countess at 7:24 nailed it -- heh heh heh heh he typed "nailed" heh heh heh -- but maroons like you will be jokes as long as your obvious misogyny, in this form an anti-contraception angle and the blatant "SLUTS! Keep your legs shut until we MEN decide when you can have sex" attitude drives your *cough* beliefs *cough*
My God, that was the best laugh I have had in weeks.
Thanks for putting your lack of wisdom on display for all to share
oh dear sweet raptor jesus. i would say you've made me lose all faith in humanity, but the 70+ comments of "you're a fucking moron" slightly redeems it. Keep up the good work! Maybe you should start citing General J.C. Christian or Fafblog! Or Jon Swift! They're really reputable sources.
No way, man. The Onion is a hard-hitting investigative news site. Look, they've already found the author of this blog.
Wow, you Republican yokels are really astonishingly stupid, aren't you?
Dear sir,
While I am uncertain that you have a central nervous system of sufficient complexity to register high-level emotions such as embarrassment or shame, I still must implore you: please, please, please... no matter how many people on this comment thread cast doubt on your mental capacities or call you "asshat" it is imperitive that you never delete this entry. You have accidentally written the funniest thing in history.
Johnathan Swift and Voltaire working together for a hundred years could not surpass you.
This must be preserved for posterity.
Holy shit... I can't stop laughing... at you.
But really, the Onion has a good point in showing us that this is really how some radical pro-life activists really see pro-choice people. I'm triyng to be nice here... but wow, you are a fucking idiot. How long has The Onion been doing satire?... since 1988. Wow, you're eagerness to condem this woman has completely blinded you from... all reason. Here's a tip, next time you have something to write... don't.
But seriously... that was a great laugh.
wow, that was a great laugh.
two words: you dumbfuck
Wow. Your mother should have had one.
Dumbest.
Blogger.
Ever.
(P.S. Thank Ba'al that Firefox makes it easy to download and save the magic. It would break my heart to think something so, um, special might ever be lost.)
Has someone archived this yet?
I've saved it but lack a place to post.
Don't listen to these idiots! The Onion is "America's Finest New Source" and contains some of the finest reporting on the abortion issue in the country - stories that the MSM just won't report for fear of angering abortion advocates. For example, the article "Recreational-Abortion Enthusiasts Applaud Repeal Of Partial-Birth Ban" was, as far as I can tell, only reported by the Onion. It just goes to show...
Are you nuts are just that thick witted? Using "The Onion" as source material?
Or you have to be joking.
Which one is it?
And if you are serious, you are a prime example as to why pro-choice people cannot take you seriously.
By the way, someone should correct your terminology. Let it be me.
Clearly you have problems understanding the world in general (satire, humor, etc.) But let's get at least ONE thing straight: nobody -- yes, that's NOBODY (ok, except maybe Hitler) -- is "pro-abortion."
So here's what you need to do: get it through your humorless head and hate-mongering heart that reducing the number of abortions that occur is a goal that BOTH sides of the debate have. Calling the people you purport to "pray" for "pro-abortionusts" only further publicly displays the crass ignorance that your clueless "Onion" has already amply demonstrated.
I always knew the day would come when blogs were so easy to make that retards would start publishing.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent— it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills."
― Robert Heinlein, in The Notebooks of Lazarus Long
Did you catch this one? "Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell"
I can give the guy a break for somehow knowing that The Onion isn't satire, but what I can't get past is how ANYONE could read that article and think it was the real thing.
Good grief... are there people out there so ignorant and clueless that they think those quotes could possibly be real?
I am pissing myself laughing at your stupidity!!!
You and people like you are the reason that your cause is forever doomed.
schmuck
I just wanted to get on the bandwagon when I say AHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man, what a MAROON!
Dude, you just became the BEST POSSIBLE example of what sad, sad mistakes abortions can solve.
You are EXACTLY the reason why there should be more abortions - or more accurately, better birth control in the first place so no one would feel they *had* to have an abortion.
IF YOU TRULY ARE A CHRISTIAN...
You should know that you can NEVER, EVER pass judgement on others. If I want to have an abortion, that's MY CHOICE. You can pray for me if you like, but forcing me to do something against my will makes you both judge and jury -- and IS A SIN.
Why can't religious folks keep their own religion straight?
KILLING IS WRONG, RIGHT?
But most zealots in this country support the war.
How is killing an innocent, unarmed Iraqi ANY different than killing an innocent, unarmed baby?
You are a sinner. And people like you make me sick.
I too am laughing.
Also, I like that subtle reference to abolishing a woman's period.
Stay classy!
Other Blogs (like Pharyngula) have been picking up on this article, and *look* at the number of comments you've had. There are almost one hundred, compared with maybe five at most for your other articles - Internet Fame at last, dude!
You have made it to the big time! Well Done! Check your site meter readings out for this week, too. You've hit a winner. (Too bad about the satire angle unless you really were being tricky and trying to turn tables on people with reverse-satire... but are you that clever?) Naahhh.
(signed) marc
Congratulations, Pete! You and your lack of reading ability have made Fark! Now EVERYONE will know about your bonehead move. Well done!
jesus fucking christ
Thanks to Joreth for pointing this little bit of idiocy out to me
I snatched the site & have it mirroed in case the asshat author removes it
As a Pastafarian and believer in the TRUTH His Noodleness has shared with all those willing to listen, I would like you to know that I will pray for you to the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster. Because of your ignorance and outright stupidity, I can't imagine how someone like you will ever get to Heaven. It's obvious you hate women. This is not the path to the Beer Volcano. You had better work on getting that GED and start applying some critical thinking skills. The FSM does not reward stupidity and the oppression of women.
Pete, I have the story that should make your next blog entry. It's ABSOLUTE PROOF God answers prayers!
http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/
28812
Fantastic! You ARE the voice of the right-wing! Humorless, clueless, and un-American. Thankfully, the founding fathers put up a shield against your type, it's The Constitution! Designed to keep the nation safe from you. But then you'll argue "it needs to be changed!" mmpphhff!
The Colbert Report is also satire - just so you know.
Hope you're not disappointed.
I laughed so hard I aborted my foetus. Thanks for nothing, babykiller.
You poor, poor idiot. You are never going to live this down. Just give up this blog and start over; even if you erase this post, too many people have seen, and even the other anti-choicers will never take you seriously again. Poor little wingnut...
Pete man, these people are saying that onions are not real!
Can you believe that?
I say you prove to them that onions ARE real. Cut an onion in half and rub the two halves in your eyes.
That'll show them.
.
Did you guys and gals really expect right wing christo-fascist Bush sycophants to actually have a sense of humor?
you are fucking dumb
Do you think the Inquirer is real news too?
... or fox news?
The fact that you can vote scares the shit out of me. That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Are you a fucking ass?
Watch out! Water is really trying to take over the world!
It's written! It MUST be true.
And in case you didn't get that, I was implying that you are a fucking idiot.
So your mom fucked her brother and made a dumb fuck like you, and you are still against abortion??
Is there realy anything I need to say that hasn't been said, like "you're a fucking idiot" or "douche bag"...
I know Onion articles (such as the one that stated that J.K. Rowling really does advocate witchcraft with the HP novels) have snagged frothing-at-the-mouth right-wing fundie lunatics before, but has a blatant satire rag ever snagged left-leaning media?
Easy on the boy, folks. Make him think and he might choke on his bubble gum.
/golfclap
you are aware that the onion is a fake newspaper, right? the person who wrote that doesn't exist.
I'll bet you admire the intellect and scholarship of Ann Coulter.
oh dear! im afraid that anything you have to say in the future will have little of no meaning after this episode.
Hilarious.. absolutely hilarious!
Thanks for sharing.
Jason
What is satire? Is it a Frech word meant to destabilize our great country? I am sure the real name for that site is "Le Oignon".
That was a most heartfelt, and sensitive article about the sanctity of life. Shame on you dirty commie creep pinko subversive bastards, I hope you all go to hell and die. You will see the error your ways when Jesus comes down to annoint GW Bush for a 3rd term.
-Amen
First satire and now sarcasme.
My god, and I though *I* was a useless fvckstick. I'm glad this link is traveling the internet so everyone can see what a total fvckstick loser you are. Fvckstick.
I really hope you reproduce. In a few years time, my children might need a laugh as good as this one. The ones I don't throw into the shredder on a whim, that is.
That's just dumb with a capital D - U - M - B.
Wow.
It's scary that this is the intelligence of the pro-lifers.
Baby Jesus should have come as a vision to your mom and insisted that she abort you, so that the world would have one less useless idiot walking around.
For fvck's sake, are you totally retarded? o_O
My boyfriend fingered my pussy last night, and I became pregnant. Abortion is the best. The Onion is not a news source.
I have done my duty by passing this idiodicy along on my blogs, and have used ScrapBook extension to capture this stupidty for prosperity.
Should you *ever* run for public office, your detractors will have this article to prove you can't tell fact from fiction, and go around singing "If I Only Had A Brain".
animal porn u fuckers animal porn hot sweaty nutsack.. bbbbbaaaalallllllssss
Somebody aborted the wrong part of the gene pool.
http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cac...us&ct=clnk&
cd=1
Congrats, this page is now cached by Google and effectively a permanent fixture on the Internet landscape!
This is why red states* shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.
* There's technically no such thing as a red state. There are just great red wastelands between the nice pockets of civilization scattered around the country.
Don't miss Pete's subsequent post. Despite all of our best efforts, he STILL doesn't get it!!
Two Words - Fucking Moron!
christ almighty...too bad no one aborted this douchebag before he could inflict his idiocy on the internet
All right, all right, I think he's gotten the point. The baying hordes of right wingers should be arriving in their characteristically behind the curve fashion any minute now. Let's skidoo!
Jeez Pete - The Onion is only a satire! If your world is governed by prejudice then you only see and hear what you want to see and hear.
But then that is typical of fanatics all over the world. Hmm. Maybe it is time to look within the borders of the US to quelch fundamentalists passing "Fatwas" (religious judgements) on other people?
Pete, you have achieved something few bloggers do - you have found a HUGE audience to read your publications. Your responsibility is clearly to continue the dialogue that you have initiated.
Please, enlighten us further ! I'd love to know where else you're getting inspiration from.
Bwahahaha, this just show yet again how silly the so called "pro-life" movement is. Bunch of self righteous propagandists.
Not only have you reinforced my belief in the pro-choice movement, you have also firmed up my stance on euthanasia. You've certainly got an incurable condition that qualifies*.
* Satire, sarcasm or sinful suggestion? I'll let you decide.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
This is the funniest god damned thing I've ever seen in my life.
God couldn't even get this funny. Oh my God! This is actually funny because of God!
HAHAHA!!
You have no chance. Make your time.
all your abortion are belong to us.
Jesus is laughing at you.
True genius
and you still think you should be allowed to vote?
Another American idiot *sigh*
while you're checking out the Onion, the horoscopes are usually spot on, too...
NEDM
AHA. The Onion is FAKE.
Nice, you are probably the same kind of person that is a supporter of the NRA or at least have a gun at home... need I point out the hypocrisy? It's kinda funny that almost everybody with an I.Q. above 80 could make up that the article was a hoax...
You are the reason many people probably go pro-abortion. Better abort than give birth to a kid who goes thru life without a clue like u!
Best of luck taking your next breath buddy!
You do realize that, by posting portions of an article in a humor publication as "evidence" of a real attitude, you make yourself look exceptionally foolish.
If you don't have the mental capacity to tell the difference between satire and factual articles, your ability to reason is in serious question and any points you make won't have credibility.
What's more, The Onion is famous (and infamous) as a humor publication. The fact that you don't know this makes your appear unsophisticated at the least and incapable of doing proper research at most. The fact that you insist the article is real only further undermines your credibility and your cause.
Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally.
No Babies were harmed in the making of this Onion Article. However, I'm sure many bottles of boos will be consumed by the staff at the Onion, in celebration, of the first duffus that took an article seriously. seriously. However, a current article declaring that " 18 year old miraculously finds soulmate in hometown " has probally happened.
Seriously, I have been giggling for hours over this - not about the actual case in point, but everyone else's funny ass comments on this blog.
It makes me happy to see so many people justly attack this bullshit.
Cheers!
AHAHAHAHHA!!! This is now all over the net - currently riding high on Reddit.com. What a puritanical idiot you are!!
Jesus wept.
So the Union is not real? It was all a joke? Why didn't they tell me?
Dear author,
You are not qualified to hold a strong opinion about something.
Regards,
The world
So that's how you get your facts, right ? Time for serious thinking on your part. You should view this as an opportunity.
Wow talk about shooting yourself in the foot. AGAIN.
"Mess Weber summed up her article with..."
There is no Weber. Capish?
God's teeth, son, your ignorance is really flying a flag today! If you're trying for the double-finesse of satire, I have to say that, yup, we've bitten hard and you're really good at this and we should all bow down to you for being so good at it... but somehow, I don't think that that's what you were up to.
I can only imagine that someday you're going to forget to breathe.
Would you be any more annoying if you actually had a brain?
we should just turn voting booths into death machines to kill all people who vote republican
Wow, I can't believe someone can really be this conceited. You are an ignorant fuckwit who should be tied to a wheelchair and shoved off the edge of a cliff with a cactus up his ass.
Stupendous - can't stop grinning at this! It's not really worth insulting you or arguing over your delusions - I'm sure you'd just be too thick to get it...
religious, conservative pro-lifers... wanna keep the baby... don't want to support it! nice!
HAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Asshat.
I thought everyone in the entire freaking world knew that The Onion wasn't a real news source.
Just goes to show that the extreme right wingers will believe any bullshit.
YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU SEX IS NOT GOOD, SO NOW YOU'VE GONE MENTALLY RETARDED, TAKING THE ONION FOR SERIOUS.
GET A LIFE! QUIT YOUR CHURCH AND SAY "HELLO, WORLD!" COME TO MANHATTAN AND BECOME A SEX WORKER! OR GO TO IRAQ! EITHER WAY *QUIT BLOGGING!*
Hi and thank you for your writings. My name is Tom, though my friends call me Horseonovich. I think abortion is a sin against God and this hideous woman who is so proud of her aborting an innocent should be hanged. There is no room for mercy when it comes to women who kill those innocent cell clusters they call "fetuses" and we know are beautiful babies.
Thank you and keep up the good work. Please write to me.
Tommy
Someone didn't realize that The Onion is a joke (i.e. its fake, idiot). Well, enjoy having the world laugh at you I guess.
This is *exactly* the kind of inadvertant humour I'd expect from a pro-lifer.
Oh, BTW, you've been reddit:
http://reddit.com/info/9ry2/comments
Note that this (http://marchtogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/
satire.html) only makes us laugh harder at you
Controversial stuff !
Thanks for the laugh.
Are you serious? You didnt really think? Did you... oh my word
Jesus fucking christ! you fucking retard.
Hail Xenu! *cough*
Thanks for proving to yourself what everybody else already knows: pro-lifers are blind fucking stupid.
hahahahahaahahahahahahhaahaaaaaa...
lol
hahahahahahahhahahaaa..
classic. absolutely classic.
I never thought of the idea of throwing an afterparty......thanks to you i'm gonna have a good weekend.
And you say abortion isn't fun ?
Interesting..
It is you all that fail to see the point.
Pete has allowed you all to show yourselves as the mindless lemmings you are.
If Pete had made an error in repaeting satire as though it were fact, he would have deleted this entire thread.
Rather he allowed all of you to ramble on like a bunch of steer on a rampage without a clear thought of your direction or intent.
Pete has recognized good satire and simply made it available for discussion.
Just as the Onion uses satire and humor to make their opinion know, Pete is using satire and humor.
The truth is Pete, all good satire is grounded in some fact and that is why you knew you get the response you did.
Good job Pete
You got to be kidding me. Are you, no wait, obviously you are that stupid. Pull your head out of as and get some oxygen in your brain.
you = the dumb
How do you go to The Onion's website and NOT see that it's fake?
Shut the f*ck up with your pro-life bullshit. While driving your car, you are using up God's sacred oil. Poluting the complete world. Religion is world's No.1 reason for war. So plz do what you like, but don't bother others!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what a douchebag!
Wow! Those blinders you're wearing must have a life-time warranty. Do they come with a "Get Out of Hell Free" card if I call within the next 30 minutes?
Maybe you should A) Actually do some research before writing an article B) Quit throwing stones at everyone who has a different opinion from you or C) All of the above.
I'll pray for you, too.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
I guess by now you know that you are a dumbass and should probablynot be spouting your ill-informed nonsense in public.
Anyone who is too blind to spot that the onion is satire is OBVIOUSLY to blind to have a measured opinion on important matters like abortion.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
*ahem*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(the idiot...)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
Dude, have you thought about running for president for 2008? The republicans haven’t named a candidate yet and it would be hard to find anyone outside of the current Oval Office capable of such embarrassing and mind-numbingly stupid mistakes.
..... Why do you even exist?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*points, laughs*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You want to be pro-life? Kill yourself! No, seriously, eat a bullet. You're too stupid for the genepool. You're a danger to humanity. Really. Darwinize yourself already. Just do it. It's for the greater good of humanity. This would be the greatest pro-life act you can ever take. Just do it.
Umm, as people have told you already, the Onion is a satirical magazine. One does not take it seriously. Rather, it parodies the excesses of political discourse on both the right and the left (though admittedly more of the former). Please tell me that your blog is an answering humor piece, because if you took the original Onion piece seriously it betrays a serious lack of research and understanding.
Enjoy your 15 minutes of stupidi... err "fame" on digg:
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/
Sat...officially_dead
I guess this rebuke fck doesn't even know how to delete comments
um... did you eat lead chips as a child?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ok, here's the thing: You are wrong for citing an Onion article. I'm pretty sure you get that at this point. I don't agree with your opinions in general either, not a single one I'd imagine.
What matters is that the commenters are acting like children. It's not going to make us look better to wander around calling everyone on the right a moron, even if we happen to believe it. They call us godless heathens, we call them right wing zealots and nothing gets done.
Don't get me wrong, engaging in some sort of thoughful debate would be utterly pointless with you because, well, you'd get emotionally involved and not hear a word anyone else said and wind up just screaming.
I'm just saying, 100 people calling you a moron or derivative thereof isn't really going to help the matter.
I mean, come on. Fish. Barrel.
thanks Pete! you made my day.
That's hot.
After reading these comments, you must be embarassed, so I'm wondering... is the red on your face making your red state redder?
i join the entire world in laughing at you and whatever argument you were trying to make.
See kids, this is what happens when you have sex with yer cuzzin!
Moral of the story? Don't do it--think of the children!
Irrefutable proof that you need your brains vacuumed out to vote Republican--thanks Pete!
Get a sense of humor, dumbass.
people like you become the leaders of fascist countries.
Hahahahah you're a fucking idiot.
OMG SAVE TEH UNWANTED BABIES
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*gasp*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nice one! You don't look at all stupid.
You are getting royally - and fairly -- reamed for falling for this gag. The Onion staff high-five each other when someone takes one of their satires seriously.
If it's any consolation lefties get taken, too.
On the article itself, this isn't one of their better satires. Too meanspirited and crude in its approach to the abortion debate. Not funny at all.
I'm pro-life and even *I* think you're an idiot.
What a tard. I love that you took this seriously. It just shows your side to be the reactionary, humorless asses we all know you to be.
(Also a pastafarian here - can I get a RAmen from the congregation?)
Hilarious. This crap is now spreading through the 'internets' like wildfire.
You've made an ass of yourself, and I'd wager that at least a 100,000 people are aware of it already. Beautiful.
You fundamentalist Christianists are so ignorant, bitter and humourless you actually thought someone would say they were 'psyched' for an abortion. How fucking stupid can you be?
Oh my, I haven't laughed so loud since... well, I can't remember.
Hey P E T E you're a goddamn M O R O N...or some derivative thereof...
Pete, is it?
First, let me just say that you really are a gullable fool for believing the Onion.
Second, (assuming that Pete = male) what right do you have to say anything bad about abortion? You have a penis, not a uterus. When you are brutally raped someday and have to carry that monster's abomination around inside of you for 9 months, then we will talk about how abortion is the devil.
Please do me a favor and shut up.
What a knucklehead! What a moroon! What an IDJIT!
I'm going to have to get pregnant so I can have an abortion in honor of this insane blog piece. Then I'll get my nails done and go shopping.
Somehow, I don't think the word 'gullible' quite covers your stupidity.
And you know, all this traffic and I don't think you've converted one person to the pro-life lobby..
I'd kill (in a pro-life friendly way of course), to get this amount of attention!
Most people who are absolutists are completely out of touch. You're certainly no exception, Petey. Get a clue. Better yet, get an abortion - they're fun!
BWAHAHA!! You thinking that was a real article is so much funnier than the article!
Did you actually say you are going to pray for her to suffer? You are an evil bastard. Just like many Christians, you aren't christian at all.
Did you even read the Bible? Because you sure didn't learn anything from it.
Yeah, sorry to say, but its been posted at the Anandtech Off Topic Forums... you are official humor bait now, they are relentless.
Good old Pete. Promiscuity is obviously OK within marriage for this bunch.
Keep on scraping the bottom of the brain barrel.
I was going to point out that The Onion is satire, and maybe have a quiet chuckle at your expense. But the sheer volume of people doing just that would make my effort seem rather gratuitous.
I can't decide which is sadder... that you took this seriously, or that your 'complete lack of a sense of humour' genetics is going to be passed on to your children, who likewise won't understand why they keep being sniggered at. Please - for the love of all that is good and sane in the world - don't procreate.
you know what you got me lolin on the internet. QQ MORE IMO. the fact of the matter is lol.
IT'S A TRAP click my homepage
Thanks Pete, this will keep me amused for the next year or so.
i love you. seriously. :*
Idiot. Obviously from the South?
Perhaps this post is evidence enough of your talents that Our Leader will appoint you to a position on the Supreme Court.
Oh! Thank Heaven for 7/12! Hmmm. Needs work.
I heartily second the comment above that you bookmark Fafblog and the good, gawdly Gin'rull J.C. Christian. I make the good Gin'rull part of my personal daily briefin'.
Here's another suggestion. How about you pickin' up where the person who ran Terri Schiavo's Blog left off? You've certainly got the brain activity of Miz Terri.
Now, let us all indulge our Inner Bill Murray lounge lizard singer:
Star Jones Wars.
Yeah, Star Jones Wars.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Star Jones Wars, yeah, baby...
I'm pro-choice.
Linking to an image hosted by another website is called bandwidth stealing. If you had downloaded it and saved it to your own server, then you would be violating copyright.
You have a right to an attorney.
Proof of evolution, your parents had a Monkey.
My entire office has this frikkin site up on their computers... GET BACK TO WORK YOU HALFWITS!!!
This is fucking hilarious. Pete, you definitely need to join forces with Kirk Cameron. He could give you a guest spot on his site.
Seriously though - like, this does kind of totally undermine your ability to grasp difficult subjects. I wonder if you're gonna take a step back and rethink your political views, or whether you are gonna keep on truckin' - because like, you seem a bit of a busybody christian and you've kind of proved to yourself and everybody else that there's no real way of getting through to you. I hope you aren't in any position of authority or power... what am I saying, you're a blogger, of course you're not - hahaha
Doesn't "Caroline Weber" look familar? Some child actor for the 80s, perhaps?
Well, first you're a class A moron for using the Onion as a reference. Second of all, what would you say to all the MARRIED woman out there who are in the same situation as our fictitious heroine? My husband and I don't want children ever. Would you tell us to stop having sex in case of conception -- which in intruder would be aborted faster than you can say "Pro-Life". Wait, no you said that all married couples are allowed to have sex (unless it's those nasty gays, I imagine). Not all abortions are requested by "promiscuous women" having sex out of wedlock. Quite the contrary, there's a new trend in married, middle age women who are either finished with having children, or didn't want any to begin with.
You know, I really don't understand people like you. You claim to be "Pro-Life", but still insist on a clump of cells being worth more than a woman who may suffer extreme psychological, physiological, and financial damage if forced to carry to term.
FUCK PRO LIFE THE AND THE CHRUCH, ABORTION AND SEX GOOD NOT FUCK U BITCH
wow NICE Work cheeze fuck your brain must be noodles (which i would love to eat). FRy dem noodles up and eat them out of your asshat... MMMMM that taistes BItchin
God is just pretend! Human beings can do whatever they want to their bodies!
And the Onion is a "fake news" source. Good thing you quoted the article!
You've made a great impression on behalf of pro-lifers everywhere! THANK YOU! Now we know you're ALL retarted!
I've long wondered how pro-life people can be against Stem Cell Research, but after reading this I realize you're all just humorless idiots.
Holly Molly... This stupid Red-Stater doesn't know the Onion is fake does she?
See folks, this is what happens in Red-Topia when you push crap like "Intelligent Design" into schools. your kids are getting dumbereroreror
I just wanted to participate in this special moment, when people from all over the internet came together and joyously mocked the blinkered oaf who wrote this.
I look forward in years to come to telling my children that, yes, I was there on THAT day. If I don't decide to abort them first, that is. Oh, and in the case of the first two the abortion will have to be retroactive.
HAHAHAHAHA! Joke's on YOU! Oh my gosh! You took that article seriously!!!!!
Cerebral paralysis.
Mental inertia.
May-blossom senility.
Can't be borne by the sane or civilized.
Blogger should be abused with a wet trout.
Administer an bazooka to your own straining wits, Pete. There's not an instant to spare.
...tard.
Unbelieable.
To paraphrase Rick Cook: just when I thought I've seen the biggest idiot, the universe makes a better one.
*reads your blog*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*points at you*
YOU ARE SO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID
OMG
The glory of the internet is that this can go all around the world. What does it feel like being so famous cos your so stupid?
This is already doing the rounds in the UK and it'll be heading elsewhere already.
In fact I'll be emailing this to a few people my self.
Glorious...
oh what an ignorant cun7 you are
haha, this post is priceless!
Maybe concentrate on yer own issues, rather than scouring the net trying push your parent's morals onto others?
Anyhow, you get todays ass-hat award onion boy!
Is this the place where we all come to point and laugh? Looks like it! Haha!
Pete:
Do you fall down a lot? Sometimes when you're standing still?
Congrats on making the del.icio.us popular list!
Wow, still going. I pointed to this in my blog & mirrored your page to help out a little.
Folks, if you missed it, check out his follow-up post where he insists that it's not really satire but an actual reflection of the beliefs of pro-choicers written in a numorous fashion AND insists Ms. Weber is a real person.
storm78676, as for your comments, obviously you didn't READ that follow up post where he DEFENDS this one as valid and refuses to acknowledge his mistake. I doubt he has the capacity to achieve the kind of refined satire you accuse him of.
Please, Pete, do the world a favor.
Stop what you're doing right now, and kill yourself. I urge you. I beg you. Please rid the world of your presence.
Do it for all of us. Do it for your children!
Aw don't be so mean to poor Pete. Remember - if we lived in an earlier age his inept children would have been killed once they were born by a wooly mammoth or a ship wreck, rather than being supported by our liberal social programs.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA.
Idiot.
Time to upgrade the site-meter, dude.
The free version only tracks the most recent 100 visits on the worldwide map, while for just a few dollars you can see where the last 4000 have come from.
That 100 visit figure works out to the last few minutes! (And the 4000 is just a few hours' worth.) Upgrade NOW!
(signed) marc - from Australia
..
best blog ever.
You BELIEVED an article published by the most FAMOUS FICTITIOUS HUMOR MAGAZINE in the WORLD!?!?
I guess you must've been confused about the headline Life Jackets Issued to All Americans for Some Reason since you didn't get one. And that interview with Jesus Christ in 1999, talking about his upcoming 2000th birthday must've BLOWN YOUR MIND. And Howard Stern Organizes Women's Health Clinic must have been a real surprise!
I'm saving this blog post forever. Thank God for Archive.org.
do you know what satire is? If you take the Onion serious, i wonder what extremes you are willing to go.
lol you fail at internet
Cockgobbler.
What an IDIOT to take an Onion article seriously! Guess what? National Lampoon's: Vacation was NOT a documentary!!! Sorry, to burst your bubble.
In the words of Carlos Mencia....
"DE-DE-DEE!!!!"
Haaaahahahaaa you're so dumb!
Posting a comment here is a futile effort - how can I possibly believe someone who is capable of perceiving The Onion as a legitimate source has the ability of actually reading comments?
In case you make it this far Pete - you should know that the continuation of your right-wing rants and fallacious arguments will bring no peace to the world. Perhaps if you spent a little more time promoting legitimate forms of birth control and less time planning to bomb Planned Parenthood clinics you might get somewhere.
In case you are curious, when China starting paying for birth control measures (both surgical and non-surgical methods) their abortion rate dropped through the floor. Maybe they are on to something huh Pete?
Nawww....those commie bastards are just interested in killing babies for the fun of it, changing the poles of the moral compass, and stealing jobs from our Confederate flag waving, NASCAR watching, trailer home living, Camaro driving, welfare receiving citizens dammit!
Keep fighting the good fight Pete. Luckily for me I take solace in the fact that no woman would ever sleep with you without an unfortunate dosage of ether and a dirty sweat sock, thus the chances of you impregnating anyone is non-existent. However, every time you fap to the underwear section of the JCPenny's catalog you are killing millions of sperm. You are a murderer sir - and you will pay for your deeds one day.
When Pro-lifers have their way and abortions are illegal, the only way a woman can get an abortion is illegally. And of course that is going to be dangerous and she may die. Then their victory would be a death, and they call themselves Pro-life.
Huh?
Stupid, just like this jerk.
Just goes to show you what type of simpleton is pro-life attracts. I'm afraid Pete has a tiny tiny penis and is not "pro-life" but "anti-sex". That's why he feels the need to strict sexual partners. Who knows, if dozens of women hadn't laugh at his lack of manhood, he might be a decent person. So next time he whips out shorty, girls, please stop giggling.
Just reading through the various comments on this post is highly entertaining. My personal fave:
"I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?"
ROTFLMAO x 15!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*breathes*
...AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
you fricking muppet
Ummmm... yeah. Okay. Now tell us about how you heard Bat Boy was caught in a butterfly net, doused with ether until dead, and pinned to a cork board and put on display in the Albuquerque Public Library.
Death by Onion!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
I laugh harder every time I read this.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!1!!1oneoneone
You fail at life!
Dumbass
You guys all got trolled, bigtime. Sad.
Fucktard.
Ummmm...
You were home-schooled weren't you?
Guys, Pete is satirising the satire. There is no way there is someone that stupid, just look at some of the things they say, even the stupidest of people wouldn't say what he says and mean it.
You are such a moron. Only someone that believes that abortion is murder would take an Onion article seriously.
The Electronic Liberation Front invites you to join the Avocado Ribbon Campaign to end stupidity on the Internet.
The ELF is attempting to protect the resources of the Internet for the intelligent, by isolating the net from the stupid. To this end we have lobbied extensively for the permanent removal from the Internet of those persons with an IQ of less than 120. We are also endeavoring to restrict the legislation and regulation of the internet by the stupid.
We look forward to a day when the stupid will not even be aware of the Internet, and they will be able to safely watch Alice reruns on the Superstation while we, the intelligent and wise, post anonymous messages in usenet forums and engage in other activities that stupid people have time and again shown they cannot comprehend.
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
You are really dumb.
Yutz.... giant fucking yutz.
"it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married."
Boy Pete .. you just can't get laid huh? and need to punish anyone that can.. sad jealous little man.
Seriously, you are a moron.
i guess people who believe Fox News is "fair and balanced" will believe anything!
Just amazing. Do you have any idea what the Onion is? It is a satire mag. The articles are not real. Wake up in there. So you missed the whole point of the article which is that no one goes out of the way to get pregnant so they can have an abortion. And also that it is some of the same so called pro-life doctrines that cause woman to experience unwanted pregnancy in the first place.
In the immortal words of Rachel Green, "No uterus, no opinion."
Dee Dee! I haff fiiiiiiinaly found someone dumber THAN YOU! Read his blog: He is so STEWWWWWWWWWWPID!
Peter,
Hopefully, this experience has taught you to CLOSELY examine your beliefs. This is a simple world made complicated by people who behave just as you did; speaking before thinking first.
I encourage you to expore all religions of the world. That way, you will know WHY you believe certain things. Your behavior indicates a past full of actions taken based solely on your upbringing -- not on what YOU have decided to be true.
Many times you will find yourself wanting to evade the hard questions. But in order to wake up; you must first realize that you have to let go of your own past mistakes and FORGIVE yourself.
I wish you Bright Blessings of the highest love.
You know what the scary thing is?
The USA is full of fuckwits like this.
Many of them have guns.
And all of them can vote.
(shudders)
Ha! And: Thank You!
Assuming your response to the Onion piece is not a put-on: hilarious, but so valuable!
Thank you for becoming a poster child for the lack of reasoning ability so common in the anti-choice movement. I've heard of people in other countries not understanding what The Onion is, but you apppparently are a _Native English Speaker_!
To miss the satire is amazing: striking since your writing ability being at least high school level, but there is a second-grader quality to your world view and ability to process and dissect ideas.
Note, for instance, that the article is self-consistent in orginal form (the Carolone Weber character hapily anticipates the prospect of abortion), but your interepertation did not have self-consistency criteria applied. In your interpretation you have Carolone Weber 'blame' her HMO for her pregnancy. Incorrect, she thanks them, since lack of oral contraceptive allowed the abortion, for which she is 'totally psyched'. You have "Weber" both celebrating abortion and blaming someone for it -- an inconistency you'd need to point out, especially in a piece attacking "her" judgement.
This lack of flexibility in thought and identification of the reasoning of others is characteristic of the still-forming minds of young children. Please consult at the nearest University teaching hospital about this, there may be a treatable organic etiology to what appears to medium developmental disability. My congrautulation on high functioning in other areas (assumedly obtaining a computer account, mastering typing, etc.) but please get that consulation -- and assoicated cognitive, functional, and motor testing --as soon as possible. The current disabilities may be important warning signs of very serious conditions.
You have helped choice enormously. Thank you! (And please look after your health as suggested above.)
Hahahaha you dumb bitch.
so harsh a criticism on a humorous mistake...you all must be perfect.
You are unbelievable. Nothing you say should be taken seriously because you fail to fully investigate the source you're lambasting! Shame on you.
If a fake artcicle bothers you, then I'm giving discount abortions and assisted-suicides this week only, just for the writer of this blog
idiot
Sarcasm is one of many words in the dictionary. Please, please, do everybody a favor and look it up sometime so you don't get your panties all in a wad over something so clearly sarcastic. Geez, if the law said you had to get an abortion, I could understand you being all riled up, but it clearly doesn't. Don't like abortion? Don't get one! See how easy that is?
This is my new favorite bleg on the internets.
It is parody of wingtards, right?
Right?
Satire?
You...thought... the Onion was.. serious?
Damn, lady. Get a brain.
Maybe as we approach the 300th comment to your reaction to a news article on the onion, with every single post harolding what a complete moron you are, you're questioning whether there's a god or not for having created such an enourmous waste of time like yourself.
What they said up there.
You am space peopel.
Wow, I knew right wingers were incapable of indipendant thought but... wow just wow.
YES!
As if your clueless rant wasn't entertaining enough, these are some of the best comments I've ever read.
Thanks for being a fucking idiot!
No need to reiterate the specifics of your imbecilic literalism and utter lack of reading comprehension, so I shall simply add that YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!
By the way, have you seen Stephen Hawkings' robotic exoskeleton? It's hot. And real. Really.
it's fuckw*ts like pete who are sending the US down the sh*tter. is it any surprise people in other countries mock and scorn us?
pete: you shame this nation.
Just remember everyone--"Pete" is only one of at least 23% of the US population proven to be just this batshit fucking stupid (if not moreso).
And they always vote Republican.
you are a retarded douchebag.
Yeah, and all sorts of other outrageous stuff is going on in the world. Like, did you hear that Congress is going to move to another city if Washington DC doesn't build them a new retractable Capitol dome? That was in the Onion, too.
Can someone explain the logic of telling Pete to kill himself? The amount of violence and hostility is baffling.
If you all are as you say pro-choice why can not Pete's ideas be another choice?
What is wrong with people in a community coming together to buy a property to remove the business from their neighborhood? If people wanted to say get rid off an industrial plant you all would want what? Of course, legislative action but here we have people through civil action removing an offending structure (instead of government) and you all can not stand that. You are afraid just maybe the majority of Americans are not for unrestricted access to abortion. By the way, neither was the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade. Pete publish the decision for the lemmings.
What is next, government mandated offices for abortion?
This author created a post that's all and yet all respond like he is the new Hitler.
Wow
Why are you blogging when you should be marching on your local abortion clinic? Babies are dying while you are typing, you godless heathen!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
"We're goin to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
Goin to the Zoo all day"
from a children's (!!) song by Pete Seeger
How stupid are you Pete? Seriously? You took the bait: hook, line, & sinker.
I LOVE The Onion, it's hilarious.
Please tell me you are Andy Kaufmann
dumber than advertised!
HAHHAHAHA, this is why dumb fucks like you should not be alowed close to a PC,
another dumb Pro Life guy shows the world what a turd he is!
I'm not pro-life, I'm pro-afterlife. Letting an innocent baby be born is the most heinous sin imaginable because then that baby is at risk of learning about the Word of God and becoming morally responsible for their inevitable sins. An abortion is a free pass to heaven. Aborting a baby is the greatest favor one can do because it guarantees that baby's soul will never have to face the torments of hell. The fact that abortion is a sin makes it all that much more noble. What greater altruism could there possibly be than to risk hell yourself in order to save someone else from it?
Holy Fucking Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just goes to show....Christians be dumb.
Long live The Onion!
My goodness you are an idiot.
Thank you for taking the time to expose this now blindingly obvious fact, and therefore removing any chance that anyone will ever listen to you without laughing again.
Good job!
Next up: Pete publishes an impassioned plea to Sylvester, asking him to stop harrassing poor Tweety.
Dear Sir:
I agree with your stance on abortion. As a Christian you must realize that the end of days is upon us, and your savior is due at any time.
As a member of the Church of Satan I know that anti-Christ likewise is due at any time and an abortion could stop his rise to power.
The Onion is obviously not aware of how sensitive this is to both of us and we must work together to stop abortion so that the battle against your lord and my lord will happen and the end of days will begin.
Tickets for the final battle will be available through Ticket Master.
May the rapture get you and your kind off the planet ASAP!
Sincerely yours,
Lou
We all laugh at this fool...
But I hope we all vote to keep this kind of neo nazie away from the law books.
Hahahahahahaha!!! How can you be so ignorant????? Don't you know what kind of newspaper The Onion is???? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And he took it so damn seriously... hahahahahaha ....ahhh... this happens when you are stubborn... I guess I don't know... hahahahaha
RAmen!
"Your'e making baby Jesus cry!"
Jesus loves you for making him laugh.
Yes, the person writing this blog is too ignorant to understand The Onion.
And, you're probably Pro-War, Pro-Death Penalty, and a MEAT EATER. Pro-Life, my ass.
Okay, People -- I'm so happy to see all these comments, but can I just say this: if you can take the time to mock, you can take the time to vote.
Please remember people -- asshats like this guy Pete DO VOTE.
All of us need to remember this on the next election day. Whether it's a local, state or federal election, we need to turn out and actually stand behind our beliefs.
Guys like Pete are responsible for getting Bush...er, I mean Cheney and Addington (if you don't know who I mean check out the July 3rd New Yorker) into the White House.
Pete's stupidity coupled with his idealism make him a dangerous man. I can only take solace in the fact he's a laughingstock for so long. So please...
PLEASE people...read credible news sources and VOTE. Every chance you get.
While other people find you funny I find you vile and disgusting and your existence reprehensible. If murder wasn't illegal I would track you down, rip your eyes out and skull fuck you to death but only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit. Half wits like you that try to impose their will on other people should be bound, gagged and sodomized with a cheese grater until you slowly bleed to death and die.
WOW, hope you feel good after ranting and having half the site's attendace laugh at you. not with you like u hope... At you. 
The first time I saw The Onion, as a freshman at UW-Madison, the headline was "Great Macaroni and Cheese Bakeoff". I thought, man these people in Wisconsin love their cheese! The next week, the headline was "FLYING MONKEYS SEEN AROUND CAPITOL DOME" (with a photo).
It's no surprise to me that nutjobs like this person can't tell the difference between FLYING MONKEYS and REALITY.
Flying monkeys were responsible for 9/11. We must kill the flying monkeys!! Also, they're spilling across the borders and taking our jarbs. Not to mention threatening our marriages, but that's just the gay ones.
yeah, i agree with tom too!
Another example of the uninformed spouting their ignorance about things of which they know nothing. What do you expect from folks that think that a talking snake that tricked someone into eating fruit caused the world's problems? Or that an old man gathered 7 of all clean animals and 2 of every unclean onto a single boat? These people need to realise that if they want to believe in fairy tales, that's fine.. just don't bring that primitive, ignorant, superstitious claptrap and hogwash into our government and laws.
I think this is a ruse and the one who is laughing is the person who created this blog.
sorry that you're too ignorant to do a little research before standing on your right-winged, christian, pro-life, pro-war, pro-guns, pro-death penalty box....get a fucking grip.
may b-smooove sex you wild.
These fundies are just too funny. In an unfortunate pathetic sense.
IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME WITH A CHOICE, HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME WITH A CHILD?
One thing's for sure: I can't trust pro-lifers to distinguish satire from real journalism. Listen, pro-lifers: just because you don't have fulfilling sex lives doesn't mean you should lash out at everyone else who does. Envy is a sin, so is judgement of others.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You have no sense of humor, you crazy fool.
i just wanted to say that caroline weber is hawt and can abort my baby whenever she wants.
that is all.
Stupid asses dont even know what the Onion is. Its fake news dumbfuck.
Oh boy, great move, your site probably never saw as much traffic as from this humor piece of yours.
I cna't beleive people like Lou are aloud to post hear!
Hi Pete,
It must feel nice to know that everyone hates you.
Assheaded-ness like yours is holding back evolution (yup, evolution).
You're also a hypocrite, and a disgrace to the human race.
Get a fucking clue.
And you do not even close down the comments..., probably you have no idea how...
You are a complete moron
While breathing, remember: in...out...in...
Here's some other fiction to make you lose your shit :
http://www.filthylies.net/d/2005...d/
20050608.html
Enjoy!
Ok so this is a for real rant of a Bullshit article. Next time condemn SOuth Park like its occuring in the real world. Jeebus there really is no hope for the world.
You mean you didn't realise this isn't supposed to be taken seriously?
*points and laughs*
You fucktard.
very good work! I hope everyone in the world reads your piece and sees your point. Which is, that you lack basic comprehension.
A+ Commentary.
I'm glad you responded to this article from the Onion.
It just shows your complete and total igorance.
You are a silly, silly man.
HI!
IF YOU FOUND THIS KOOK FUNNY, YOU SHOULD BUY JERKBEAST!
www.jerkbeast.co.uk
It's funnier than many abortions!
Okay, I'm seriously laughing out loud here. Thanks for this.
If you don't believe in abortion, for the love of God, please don't reproduce. You really shouldn't curse a future generation with your fucktard genes.
FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD!
well i can't say i'm surprised you believed the article as real... i suppose you believe the bible is true as well? people like you shouldn't be allowed to vote
I'm more shocked at home many of the respondants here are straight out of the gate with the four-letter variety of comment.
I ask what's wrong with THEM? The author didn't realize what was going on, but they most certainly do.
Nice manners, people.
Commas and periods go inside quotes, you moron. Learn to punctuate.
Dear Pete,
Were you aborted? I sthat why you hate abortion?
- Ali G
You have got to be the stupidest person in the solar system...
Is The Onion still up and running? I thought that site shut down in 2002. Someone inform me if I'm wrong.
Question: how do you dress yourself in the morning?
Wait unitl this guy see a few episodes of the Daily Show or Colbert Report. His head is going to implode!
Dan
People are voicing anger and angry humor in many different ways and for a variety of reasons. I can only guess that a majority of them are doing so because shit like this makes this country look even worse to the rest of the world. A strong majority of the people here in the US (regardless of party affiliation) like to pretend this extreme part of our society doesn't exist...And besides, who doesn't like to rip into the occasional 'dog barking at traffic' mad religious fool every now and again.
4casey4
Blogging Without A Brain
It appears that the internet at large has discovered the first person without a brain to be writing a blog. Technically Pete has a brain, but it stopped growing when he was a fetus of only eight weeks, so medically and legally, he has no brain to speak of.
When asked to explain how he was able to achieve such a feat, Pete replied "Ramen. Ramen." His mother/sister explained that "Ramen" was the only word that Pete was able to speak, but that she always knew he would one day enter the blogosphere.
And so the dreams of brainless Pete and his mother/sister have come true as he spreads his ignorance through the blogosphere to try to find someone else that's as stupid as he is.
Mike: If you go into the Local, Sports, etc links on the left, you'll see new articles there.
a woman tells you she would consider it 'okay' if she were raped and murdered, and you took her seriously?
why, because she could keep a straight face while talking to you?
like I am now?
*cracks*
BWAHAHAHAHA!! omg this is too funny.
*gasps for air*
thanks, the 'decadent liberal left' needs supporters like you.
actually this doesn't suprise me; coming from the pro-life crowd. Let me guess, your anti-science as well?
Its a shame you self-righteous idiots are running the country at the moment.
wow. 361 comments on how much of a mistake you made and still you don't take the comments down. lol I think the commments are even better than the article.
Check out this great article about the Fall! here!
What about those of us who are married, yet don't want children? Are we considered "promiscuous" too?
Dear anti-abortion people.
Let other people get on with their life and stop trying to control them. We don't life in a facist state, after all, although sometimes I have to think twice about that, and it's usually because of people like you.
Why must you always have a problem with what other people want to do? You have your beliefs, and they have theirs. You follow yours, and they will follow theirs.
Stop trying to enforce your opinions on someone else, it's just pathetic.
Thank you for your time.
Jesus thinks you are an idiot.
"We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings"
YEAH! lets stop the war in Iraq and government exectutions!!
oh wait we're only saving the lives of those that arent actually alive and walking around yet. sorry - wrong blog
I don't believe everything I read. On the Onion nor on your blog.
Eat Fresh America
we need more prolifers like you..stupid retard.
I... Love you.
This blog made me think about
SNAKES ON A PLANE!
l0ll3rcaust
Dude, it's satire. You know, like a joke.
HAHAHAHAHA Pete you are a total moron! Right now you are the laughing stock on several forums. I really hope one day you do get a clue.
"Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child."
I've had two abortions, both were excellent choices for my life, which I have never regretted. I made the right choice for myself, and the women I see with babies made the right choices for themselves. There is nothing about seeing a baby that makes me feel ashamed or guilty, because I have never harmed a baby. I removed fetuses from my uterus prior to the quickening, and I don't equate that with the murder of a baby.
I hope that every woman you see from now on makes you feel the guilt and shame of your efforts to try and control what goes in and out of their vaginas. Shame on you for wishing to force women to go through childbirth as punishment for "promiscuity." I wish their was the equivalent danger for you to go through as a result of sex, but there's not. Not to mention the fact that you've probably got a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting laid by a woman. It's not like you have time to go a-courting when your Saturdays are spent screaming at medical patients.
"We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings"... unless they are muslim and/or brown.
what an a$$hat )
storm78676, are you married to this charmer? That's the only way I could imagine someone defending him. Typical righty, though. "No, he MEANT to not get that the Onion is a humor mag. Then he could prove that you're not not able to get a joke! PS: you are Godless Hypocrits(tm)."
You made Jesus cry....
tears of laughter.
Jesus now wishes your mom had had an abortion. The governor of your state blames you for lowering the statewide IQ level. TBL regrets inventing the WWW and giving people like you a mouthpiece. The staff of the Onion is ROFL at your expense. Well done, sir.
um.... look pal. i don't do this very often. but i told tipton, i told hinn & now i telling you. leave me out of this.
thanks,
JC
Yo evvybody buy the new HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS
y bro, united you fall. divided we laugh.
kudos to you sir. not many people would have the bravery to speak out against The Onion and the hatred it embodies.
for your next topic, please speak against Kevin Spacey. That guy is a total asshole. I just saw a documentary where he was trying to take over the world by dropping some crystals in the ocean and creating a new world that he could then occupy all by himself. Billions of living humans could have died as a result of his very selfish actions, and that is not very Christian.
to add to the great people who have gone before me on theses comments. You are a dumb fuck. The onion is purely satire nothing more
Moron.
I respect your beliefs and all, but hate to break it to ya, the Onion is a bullshit paper.
Aww, sheeit, i done knew some foo done ate up my crack. Why you eat my crack Pete? Now you done did make an ass out yerself.
Wow, I mean Wow.
I bet you really dig NASCAR
I always wondered what kind of person considered a bunch of cars driving in a circle 500 times entertaining.
I now have my anwser.
Thank You
and may you invisible superman that lives in the sky and counts how many times I masterbate have mercy on you.
Pete, I want to have your baby, so I can abort it and hand you the fetus.
You are a certifiable idiot. The Onion is a satirical newspaper-- oh wait- I am sorry- is that word too big for your stunted vocabulary? It means it was not real.
Lame ass..
It's not your fault or her HMO's fault that she got pregnant: It's MY fault. (I got her pregnant by putting my penis inside her vagina and then ejaculating semen into her, which contains the sperm that unite with her egg, thus fertilizing it and "conceiving" a child.)
o_O
I think there's a problem with your brain being missing.
VOTE PETE FOR CONGRESS!!!
Zealots + internet = bad news
LOL. You're a fucking moron.
Pete...
You "Know nothing about real life" gullible, moron. You are a shining example of why the the pro-life movement has no real voice. They live in the same obscure reality as you.
I forgive you for the sin of ignorance my child. Ignorance of the Onion's satirical nature, and ignorance of My satirical nature.
If you actually read and understood Any of my teachings, you'd know that I don't want you or anyone to try and impose their will, beliefs, or morals on anyone else...no matter how righteous the cause.
Just turn the other cheek. If you don't want an abortion, then don't have one!
Yours in Me,
J.Christ
ygUDuh
ydoan
yunnuhstan
ydoan o
yunnuhstan dem
yguduh ged
yunnuhstan dem doide
yguduh ged riduh
ydoan o nudn
LISN bud LISN
dem
gud
am
lidl yelluh bas
turds weer goin
duhSIVILEYEzum
You should really delete this entry, it's pretty embarassing that you didn't realize that The Onion is a joke newspaper. All the stories/articles/etc are fake.
People like you are the reason I'm pro-choice.
McRib is back...
I mean BK Stackkerz!!!
Give me the gold!
Leprechaun news story! seen it??
Sadly, you are probably self-righteously indignant to our crass heathen reactions to your mind-numbingly blind judgement...
Don't take your post down--traffic to your blog will slow immensely.
I am so excited about penetration. I engage in penetration at least six times a day. And I love to swallow cum. I hope to get pregnant in my throat, and I will throw a party after I have the first oral abortion.
ps: the onion is satire
Please don't have children.
srsly tho this chick is hottt she on myspace?
Uhh...will you please go back to your corner and eat some paste before you hurt yourself.
Sooooooo glad dozens of other people explained The Onion to this guy so I don't have to it.
uh, that fact that you're a complete moron aside...I have to say that one thing in your blog that is consistently wrong terminology is your insistence on using the terms pro-life and pro-abortion. This isn't an "equal" debate. Choice is THE LAW. No Choice is NOT the law. Why don't you idiots call yourselves:
anti-law
and call us:
pro-law
Crazies!
One time, I like went to the shop to buy some candy, right, and this dude like totally tried to rob me. Which was funny cos he said his name was Rob.
I lolled at that.
Then, I gave him my wallet, I kung fu'd the gun out of his hand, kicked him in the back of the knee, punched him full force in the throat, and discharged a round into his chest.
But then I noticed.
He was a she.
The breasts flew and seperated at a right angle. The bullet, due to the 'gangster' fashion in which I had been holding the gun, travelled straight downwards tearing through the *womans* body.
A baby began to cry.
Then the crying stopped.
And that's how I became an abortion doctor! I know have a clinic in Boston MA.
Look me up!
Oh my sweet merciful god. Get out of my gene pool.
LOL
you quoted the onion like it was fact.
were you also the one who booked steven Colbert as teh speaker at the white house press dinner?
Why does it seem that more and more right-wingers have no sense of satire? is it because comedians have taken R. wing opinions and turned them into jokes ?
do you ever find yourself in a room where everybody is laughing except you?
your in one now!
You're so stupid, it's hilarious!
BTW, I bet you eat meat, but you don't want people murdering humans? You're a total hypocrit. It's still murder if you are eating an animal (btw, I'm not a vegan or vegetarian, and I'm also pro-choice). But you're probably one of those morons who believes animals exist for the benefit of humans.
Also would you like me to send you my period blood every month since it's so precious to you and signifies life for you? Maybe you should drink it if it's that great to you. By the way, another person causing someone pain is not innocent. Babies can be painful to carry, they are causing the mother pain, this is not innocence. They are hurting another person. Get a grip on yourself budday. Plus, why should I ever listen to someone named Pete tell me I shouldn't abort? You are most likely male, and will never quite understand what it's like to be a woman.
How is it even possible to be that stupid?
We'll see this guy on the Darwin Awards next.
LOZL
Comment 420, about a guy who just doesn't get it, go smoke another one Cheech.
dipshit!
I hope that I really piss you off when I say this. And do NOT ever pray for me, I am an athiest. I have had 3 abortions. I am not sorry that I had any of them. It makes me sad that the mistakes happened because I always use protection. And that is what a lot of pregnancies are---*MISTAKES*. Not a mistake for having sex. Sex is amazing. But just for not realizing the condom was slipping off or whatever. And I'm only sad because it cost a lot of money, although worth it. The only time I ever tell people about my 3 abortions is when I hope that it will upset them and hopefully give them a heart attack or something. And that is what I hope for you. I hope you cry about my 3 dead fetuses. Can't even call them that anymore, now they're dried up mush. hahahaha I hope you get so upset that you die.
Next article I think should be on how Planned Parenthood makes 9 figures primarily through their investment in Partial Birth Abortion Krazy Skwigli-Wigli Skull Skissors...
Hot damn nicole, thats some mean shit!
you got myspace? LOLZ
Pete:
Remember how I told you that if you didn't stop touching yourself all the time you'd become retarded?
Well...
I hope the staff at The Onion has seen this.
We are aware.
I know I'm late by about a week, but I have to say that I was having a rough day today until this. I'm starting to think Darwanism is a crock cause evolution should have selected you years ago.
Thank you, I was feeling a bit down and that really brightened my day. Ignorant flaming activists are some of the most hilarious things out there. I'm sure this article will be deleted soon, but I saved a mirror just for when the time comes that I need a good laugh at the expense of someone else's pure gullibility. Blogs like these are guarunteed proof that a sucker really is born every minute, and modern technology is making the suckers more abundant than intelligent beings.
You are the dumbest mother fucker on the Internets.
Hit every branch falling off the stupid tree didn't you?
You should write for The Onion.
TOO FUNNY!!!
I was very depressed today as I had been planning to abort my pregnancy. I changed my mind however after reading your article. I decided that I wanted my child to see how hilariously stupid you are. Thanks
...and I present to you the winner of the "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Poster Child" contest.
dumb--da--dumb--dumb---DUMB!!
your a laughingstock hahaah hahahaa
hahahaaha
the worst part of this whole thing is that pro-lifers keep polluting the gene pool.
pop!
keep the "Darwin Award" quips coming...priceless phrase, use it more!
Thank you for the biggest belly laugh i've had in years.
your
you're
their
they're
there
Pete, I bow to you. As a liberal, I have spent a good deal of time wondering my party was truly the better one. Were Republicans really as stupid as I expected them to be? The thought came to me several times and haunted me night and day. Well, my friend, you bring comfort to my life. You have taught me the true nature of Dubya Drones. I had feared comments from you groupies about us Democrats might have some truth to them. Were we crazy for caring about the thousands dying in the war more than a handful of unborn fetuses? Were we really tossing humans aside to animals in wanting to stop an animal torture ring over saving a single unborn child whose mother didn't want it? Were we unpatriotic not wanting our soldiers to die pointlessly? Were we going against God to not want homosexuals to be treated like spawn of the Devil for something beyond our control? Yes, our ways were truly those of lunatics, assuming "lunatics" means "people who actually use the brains in their heads". Thank God I now know that conservatives like you are not only as idiotic and blind as I thought, but about a million times more so. You have proven that you are the lesser party. Though, I know, for a Republican, that's all in a day's work. Good work Pete, and keep up with your life’s work, because it’s all you’ll ever be good enough for.
YOu fucking stupid moron cunt.....
Bababooey?
NOICE!
Epic lulz A++
you're an idiot.... must be the only person alive to not realize that the Onion is a satirical newspaper.
der
420.
pete, i just wanted to say that for every 100 comments from people on here berating and laughing at you, there are thousands more of us, also laughing.
Oh my! John 11:35 with laughter!!!
Could this be a really good troll?
it's a shame you weren't aborted
I get it now! Fundamentalists like you choose not to believe in evolution because apparently you simply didn't evolve past the mental capacity of an ameoba.
Wow, talk about stupid.
Do you need a special license to be so fucking stupid?
You made my day you magnificent moron.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Mar...gether_For_Life
Congratulations Pete! Your pontificating on the morals of fictitious characters is being immortalized on wikipedia! Bravo!
The satire presented in this entire blog is so sublime...the author coming across as a sincere believer and then using The Onion to bolster the argument? Not even Jesus' General can approach such levels.
There's still time for a "oops, I goofed!" post. You can laugh this off, petey. We certainly are!
Oh, this is just too easy.
more proof that liberals are leagues smarter than Christofascists.
I think stem cell research may yet hold promise for people like Pete. I've heard they may even be able to create brain cells.
Call Bush and ask him to stay that veto, Pete!
PUT ON YOUR ASSHAT!!
AND DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!
These blog comments are proof that America is full of sinners!
Like Marilyn Manson! read my blog about him, link below!
Oh my God... when people are as stupid as you, I thought they would not be able to type.
To be completely charitable, I can only say that you sir, are an idiot.
A duddering, shut-in idiot.
Spend less time praying for others, and more time praying for a little intelligence of your own.
It's no wonder the right-wing considers us liberals to be intellectuals - if they are all this fucking stupid.
Caitlin--what planet are you from? I thought liberals were "open minded", yet you go and stereotype every last Republican/conservative based off one dumb twat's blog entry? Holy shit, you're just as stupid as Pete.
Heh. Now that it's been pointed out to you that the article was a BIG JOKE about an IMAGINARY PERSON, how do you feel?
Oh, I know, I know! You're saying to all your equally gullible pals, "But there really are gals out there who feel this way!!!!!"
Geez, the clue phone is ringing for you... pick it up. It's Reality calling to tell you that you literally do not know what you are talking about when it comes to abortion.
What, were you traumatized when the fetus said, "Today my mommy killed me!" at the end of the movie?
That kid never existed either.
I can't begin to tell you how sad it is that you actually thought this was a REAL story.
You need serious help.
You should be ashamed of yourself, wasting your time on left-wing practical jokes while the uneducated lower-class is being encouraged to eat their own children.
http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html
ATTENTION THIS IS THE HYPER_REAL PETE
I STANDBY MY BLOGGING MY ORIGINAL BLOG WAS TEH GREATEST BLOG EVER BLOGS R THE FUTRE OF NEWS REAL OR FAKE BLOGS
Further proof that while most of us humans evolved from a chimpanzee-like ancestor, there are a few still stuck with a sub-simian intellect. Well done, moron.
*snerk*
http://www.dailykos.com/story/20...7/11/155545/
719
I think others said it well...but not only are you a moron...but even worse, you're an anti-choice moron.
Double Douchebag Wammy. Congrats.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! You are an idiot. I'd pray for you but I am an atheist.
Jesus, I hope that YOU don't have any kids.
Fucking douchebag moron.
OhMehGod
you just ownt yourself!!!11!!one!one!!1
Peter,
I tracked down Caroline Weber and I asked her, point-blank, if she had written the article that appeared in The Onion.
And she admitted that she had, indeed, written said article. In fact, she told me, she LOVED writing that article because she knew it would upset people in the pro-life movement.
Caroline Weber is a woman of loose morals. I know because I then propositioned her and she consented to have sex with me on the spot. (I was testing her.)
I pretended to be interested. After all, she is an attractive woman and it took all of my Jesus-given strength to resist her "charms" (those being a set of very perky breasts and an attractive, round and firm derriere). And I asked her if she was using any form of birth control and/or should I be using a condom.
She said, "Not at all! I hope I get pregnant again so I can abort another one of God's children!"
This woman has Satan inside of her. Somewhere. Maybe down there.
Anyway, just wanted to back up your post. Your take is dead on, Peter.
Jesus loves you.
I can't believe there is already a wikipedia entry as a result of this shit. Pete might end up going into his church and pulling a columbine on his congregation if it gets any worse here. I especially like all of the earlier recommendations for pete to have sex with animals...hahahah.
Pete is now famous for being the dumbest shitbag on the planet... Go Pete Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go to my blog for good Indie Rock mp3s
I think the girl has a real point. I mean, why don't we start commissioning our best chefs to create lines of baby pies. MMMM, baby, mmm...
How did you make it this far in life being such an unbelieveably stupid person??
If I were you I would be ashamed of myself for not checking my sources out. This is why the political situation in our country is so messed up. The so called activists do not even know how to fight intelligently for their cause.
I assume i can thank you for the 35% approval rating.
Pete, I am sorry that everybody is making so much fun of you. I have two nephews who are developmentally disabled, and I know how difficult things are for them.
I'm proud of you for learning to use the internet! Don't let these people stop you! Make sure, the next time you read an article, you run it by mom or dad to make sure it's real first, and then let us know your opinion. Go get 'em, Tiger!
Woo.
I would not want to be 'Pete' right now.
well, Pete, I hope you can take it as a lesson learned. You probably fell for this satire, because you genuinely believe liberals are evil people who like to carelessly abort fetuses just because it's fun.
An abortion is a terrible decision to have to make. It is the ending of the potential for a child.
It just isn't the killing of a *child*. And, as such, it's a decision that remains entirely with the parents, that neither government nor church nor anyone else should have any say in.
You know that the number of abortions under Bush has increased from under Clinton, right? That's because poverty has increased, which forces people to make difficult decisions.
As Clinton said, we look forward to a world where abortions are safe, legal and rare.
Smooth one, dumbass.
Hey dude, is your refrigerator running?? LOL!
And you purport to tell me how to live my life and force me to procreate?! Jesus, if you have kids do I feel sorry for them.
Has anyone sent this to The Onion yet? I'm sure they'd be thrilled!
Pete,
Thank you for making the rest of us look like geniuses. Moron.
rofl
You must be one of the 30% left that just doesn't get it.
I sincerely hope you are on drugs. I hate to imagine that someone not under the influence of some drug could actually take the Onion as a serious publication.
What a douchebag you are Pete and if you speak for the entire bunch of people from the "right" of the political spectrum where I ONCE came from I pity them and you. You are spiteful, hateful people and because of those traits you miss humor and most of the big picture where serious issues are concerned...no wonder our country has gone to hell and we lock people up for wearing t-shirts that say, "Veterans for Peace" in the city of Chicago now. Why don't you go to the playground where you truly belong.
"we look forward to a world where abortions are safe, legal and rare." I am pro-life but when a woman has a decision to make about whether to carry a child to term, that is her own to make and it is between her and her God if she believes. It is not between her and the world! The same it isn't the world's business how many peole you sleep you in your lifetime if you so choose not to share that information. Everybody has to know what everyone else is doing instead of minding their own damn business. Is your life really that boring????
LoLz satire.
I honestly thought the article YOU wrote was satire. Now THAT'S
100% LOL
:-*
Man I am so happy we have the Internets. I haven't laughed this long in months!
How much did your mom and dad pay for that junk DNA?
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Idiots!
This is how smart the pro-life movement is. Arguing with a satirical paper. Next up: Bat Boy- Why are they so MEAN to him??
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, until you can *prove* that an embryo has a soul, it's just a lump of cells until it has higher brain function. And it's absolutely none of your business what the woman carrying that lump of cells chooses to do with it.
Hysterical! That was funny! The Onion article that is; you really believed that crap!?
Wow. How a person of your intelligence got on the internet in the first place is beyond me.
If this is all the brighter heads in the pro-life movement have to offer I guess all we have to worry about are their bombs and guns.
dude. where have you been. you've never heard of the onion????
LULZ. Just seriously, LULZ. I love you, internets.
Jesus loves you ... everyone else thinks you're a waste of breathable air.
Dear Genius:
The Onion is satire.
It's true, isn't it? You guys really *don't* have any sense of humor whatsoever.
Man, are you gonna hate the afterlife. It's full of sight gags.
Egads--there is already an article in wikipedia about this!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life
Well, I mean, if there are people stupid enough to believe Fox News...
Dear Pete,
That was dumb. Really dumb. I hope you know that no one will ever take you seriously again.
I will pray to the FSM on your behalf. May he touch you with his noodly appendeges.
RAmen,
Ashley
You may in fact be the most ignorant blogger on the planet, and that is really saying something.
*points and laughs*
Just from misinterpreting The Onion, the honest thing for you to do would be to realize you're not qualified to speak publicly on most subjects, let alone one as thorny as abortion.
all I have is avoid the hell out of the hot dogs and pate at the party. Who the hell knows what is in that......
someone who doesn't even have the wits to spot heavy-handed satire is obviously well equiped to tell other people how to manage difficult and complex circumstances, right?
poor judgement, and judgemental -- you're a real winner, 'pete'.
Don't worry, Pete. Jesus let my retarded friend into heaven. I bet you can still get in.
You know I have been so down due to the constitutional crisis we face in America lately. I mean we have people being arrested for wearing anti-bush t-shirts, we have people being locked up without due process, wiretapping domestically without a search warrant, not to mention the prisons in Europe that are torturing people in America's name...all for good ole retard Dubya! Then suddenly I come across this moron who seems to not have enough intelligence to realize that the onion is satire! ROF thanks for the laughs!
Dam yuo make me look smrt! :ot:
lol, you're an idiot.
So now everybody knows it was a satire. What I want to know now is: Where is the retraction? Now that you know that The Onion is a satire, it would be a serious breach of ethics for you to leave your posting up without a retraction.
I'm retarded and I knew this was a fake article at a very well known satire publication.
you are the stupidest person ever.
Everyone has already said it.
You have got to be one of the most stupid people in the world today.
Congrats!
Another reason to keep you people off my body.
Pete,
Hear that whistle?
That's the lifeguard at the gene pool.
- You - OUT!
Jesus christ what a FUCKING MORON! AHAHHAHA!
haha, you're a douche and 500 people are telling you about it
501 now
See name and email
I'm sorry te say this, my child, but I am not pro-your-life. If you would kindly kill yourself, I won't have to deal with you in the afterlife you probably believe in. kthxbai
"That was amazing! Did you have to swear a circus oath to never reveal the source of your clown powers?"
--Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Wow. Wow. You're f*cking stupid folk.
(and you actually think that you or the government has the right to tell anyone whether to have sex before marriage or make decisions about her own body? Remember the Taliban and stuff).
Wow.
This is much funnier than anything on The Onion. I'm glad your mother didn't have an abortion, we wouldn't have had you to laugh at.
Don't feel too bad, at least the readers got a good chuckle (including myself).
Hi Pete,
Thanks for posting my story on your site. I really appreciate the free publicity you're giving us abortionists. Its through supporters like you that our quest to kill as many babies as we can continues to thrive.
As a show of gratitude, I invite you to my next abortion, which is scheduled for next October 27th at Planned Parenthood. Afterwards we're having another abortion party, and will be drinking the fetus' blood! Its gonna be so much fun, and we'd all love to have you.
Thanks again for the plug,
Caroline Weber
Blogger Pete is a fucking moron
dum dum dum dum dum
You are a complete failure and a waste of natural resources.
Love,
John
You just put the pro-life movement back 5 light years.
Next, please do an article on whether your pharmasist has cotton balls.
No, you guys don't realize that The Onion is usually satire but this piece was based on fact...okay I can't even type it with a straight face. But don't worry guys. When I was younger this guy told me if my hand was bigger than my face then I was a genius and then slapped me in the face with my own hand. We all have our moments.
Hahahahahahahah. Check your facts errr I mean check your satire! Moron!
"because I meet women like her in the field all the time."
Pete, Earth to Pete...What fucking field is that? Don't tell me you do "field" work?!
Wait, yeah go out into the field please, and let Evolution do its part!
Dum-de-dum-dum. Damn, rethugs are stupid.
This is hilarious.
Nice job "Pete" or George Dubbya, as you're more widely known.
Now get back to using the Oval Office computers for a rousing game of solitaire.
the amount of hate displayed here saddens me
I bet your mom is wishing she'd had access to an abortion right now, Pete!
This is similar to Delay putting a Colbert interview up on his website...good grief you people are dumb.
Don't let 'em get you down. so what if hundreds of people around the country (maybe the world) know you as 'that dipshit who can't understand a joke'. Your heart was in the right place. You didn't insult Miss Caroline Weber, and instead said you would pray for her. Thats big of you, and if she existed, i'm sure she'd appreciate it. And you're standing up for what you believe in, and thats honorable too. Next time just go after something real. AND you genuinely feel that abortion is murder and you're doing all this because you care. Good for you I say. Oh and incidentally this isn't one of those things that just goes away. I totally showed all my friends.
You are either the dumbest person or the most messed up person in the world. You are either so stupid that you could not tell it was satire, or you could tell but still decided to try to use it for your propaganda purposes. Either way, I pity you.
Hundreds? Your kidding right? Try millions! The Onion is sure to get wind of this one and I am sure they will run with it. This is like the Holy Grail for The Onion!
hehehhehe....
This is awesome. Thank you so much, if it weren't for idiots like you I would have nobody to laugh at.
It's people like you that make me wonder how the HELL the human race continues to function in any real way. Holy mother of god. And not only are you a complete fool who is incapable of recognizing that The Onion is a work of satire, you also think that you and your government have a right to dictate another person's reproductive choice. Let me ask you something: after these unwanted children are born, do you look after them? Didn't think so. Do you donate money to social programs to help these kids? Do you worry about the long term damage done to a child born to a 15 yr old whose father raped her? Do you worry about the 15 yr old? Are you yourself EVER going to have to face the difficult decision of either a) terminating a pregnancy or b) dying? Do you care for one f&*king second about that kid once it has left the womb?
Just go away.
LOL!
Hey, douchebag, guess what?
If *ever* (EVER, I say) there was a poster child for abortion, *YOU* are it. The last thing the human gene pool needs is you. Evolution is about improving the quality of rational thought, which means folks like you need to be bred out.
LOL! HAHAHA!!! What a dingleberry ...
Wow, I suddenly don't feel nearly as bad standing here holding a bloody coathanger.
Satire trumped by satire? It's better than great. It's greatabulous!
Say, when a woman suffers a miscarriage or a spontaneous abortion, is she a murderer too, Ms. EffNut?
The Effing religious right. May they all burn in hell for their abject stupidity, hypocrisy and just because they are living examples of why abortion is so important.
Thanks for the giggle, twit.
Good god, you are a dumbass.
I knew the Onion was fake back when I was in high school, but apparently it takes a little longer for braindead anti-abortion retarded ranters like you. Nice job making absolutely no acknowledgement of your idiocy, too
HA HA HA, you people are only as stupid as you are fucking evil.
pete-
please get in touch with me ASAP. i have a bridge to sell you. cheap!
Jeebus to Pete: Shut yer piehole. Get a life...one of yer own.
ps: dumbass.
Greetings Mr. Peter,
I hope this communication finds you well. My name is Malcolm Abachu and until recently I was Finance Minister for the nation of Liberia until recent events hastened my departure from government service. I found your name in a business registry and am assured that you are a gentleman of the highest integrity and intelligence.
An American woman by the name of Miss Weber recently travelled to our country for a certain medical procedure not available in her home country. Unfortunately, the procedure resulted in her untimely death. Miss Weber left a considerable sum on deposit at the National Bank of Liberia, monies that, with your assistance, I would endeavor to recover.
If you, kind sir, would present me with your banking information and a photocopy of your credentials and identification, I would tender 35% of the monies Miss Weber left on account to you.
I hope you keep this communication strictly confidential. Thank you.
Yours in Christ,
Malcolm Abachu
Pete,
"You are so freaking talented"
I'm watching Seinfeld,the one with Bette Midler
p.s. you dumb dumb dum dumd udm dum dum
AHAHAHAH HAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HA HA! HA!
pps:
Pete, your engraved invitation to my next monthly abortion party is in the mail. All the girls will be premenstually sloughing off eggs & uterine linings, & a tad edgy, so bring beer. We'll have plenty of whine.
does the 7th Commandment apply to stealing bandwith? Because that's what you did when you hotlinked a picute of a FAKE writer to a FAKE news site.
You are dumb.
The Onion=Fake
you are stupid
Dude. WOW! this is fucking awsome response to that evil onion conspiricy-shit.
Kill the abortioning mothers while there still pregnant, SSAVE THE PREFORMED FETUS@!!!!
what a great article. don't mind the naysayers, you stick it to that bad "onion" website, they're killing babies!!!
hahaha........even as we sit here laughing at this ridiculous post, it is making the rounds on the internet....spreading laughter for one and all.
hahaha. What an idiot. hahahaha
Over 550 comments so far pointing out that this is satire...how could I resist piling on? It's like frickin' Woodstock, man! "Where were you when that sex-hatin' crazy dude responded to the Onion article in all seriousness?"
The chinaman.
Not the issue.
Your a special kind of idotic self abosrbed moron arnt you.
Its ok. I forgive your ignorance and will pray that you will see the error of your ways. And that every time you see an onion before you, you will wake up and relize what a bafoon you appear to be.
Congrats.
wow, pure genius... lets try and rip on a newspaper that exist ONLY to parody the news, where every article is an invention in the mind of a comic writer...
you are a retard. Abortion exists so people like you can't breed or influence others into imbecility....
see look how I'm forced to react...
I'm just gonna have to have a couple of abortions to make myself feel better.
if people are alive the moment they are concieved how come i just turned 22 instead of 22 and 9mos.
BWAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
I SHALL PRAY FOR YOU PETE
United We Stand, Divided We Look Like Complete Morons. You have just proven the stereotype that pro-lifers are misinformed, humorless idiots. Gold!
Greetings Mr. Peter,
I hope this communication finds you well. My name is Tsihc Susej and until recently I was Aborted Fetus Minister for the nation of Liberia until recent events hastened my departure from government service. I found your name in a business registry and am assured that you are a gentleman of the highest integrity and intelligence.
An American woman by the name of Miss Weber recently travelled to our country for a certain medical procedure not available in her home country. Unfortunately, the procedure resulted in her untimely death. Miss Weber left a considerable amount of placenta and fetus material on deposit at the National Bank of Liberia, material that, with your assistance, I would endeavor to recover.
If you, kind sir, would present me with your banking information and a photocopy of your Junior God Patrol membership club ID, I would tender 35 grams of the fetus material Miss Weber left on account to you.
I hope you keep this communication strictly confidential. Thank you.
Yours in Christ,
What a perfect example of how Christians will believe something without making an effort to find out whether their is any truth behind it.
Furthermore, it is great to see a perfect example of just how out of touch with reality people like you can be. Not only are you incapable of following your own rules, but you can't even keep up with the most basic of society's norms. The Onion has been around for over 10 years. If you are going to use the internet as a medium to spread your hate and narrowism then at least research your internet sources.
NOTE TO READERS: You can't believe everything some jackass writes on the internet, or publishes in a book.
wow... dude. pick up the clue phone. jesus is calling. He says if you put down the bible and pick up a dictionary, the word satire is in there somewhere between IDIOT and STUPID. Check your sources next time, whizbanger.
Take care and God bless your thick skull.
LOL
Ok... seriously... someone please tell me that this diary entry is a joke.
/is skeptical
To God (should you exist),
I just want to thank you for Pete. If you hadn't made Pete, thousands of people wouldn't have just had a wonderful time.
-Garrett S
satire. if the bible wasn't the only book in your house, maybe you'd have heard of it. buy a dictionary, idiot.
way to support the theory that the religious right are a bunch of moronic, easily led sheep.
unless you are actually pro-choice, and you are just posting things like this to make the anti-choicers look bad. if so - bravo! awesome!!
ROFL
Send me your address, Pete, and I'll send you a free God detector. You can start writing again about what God wants after the dial moves.
http://www.yo-god.com
Congrats... you're officially an idiot. This rates highly in the world of douchebaggery. Heck, you should check out Stargate SG1... apparently they've found a portal to alternate universes! Quick, you'll be the first to blog it!
Hey man, wanna buy a bridge?
Congrats dumbest person alive. You win the "I'm a fucking moron, and a republican" award.
I did not have the time to read all the comments and don't know if anyone mentioned it, but- can we agree that Pete's mantra of "United We Stand, Divided They Die" is scary as FUCK?? Or, if not that, then the best mantra evaaaar for a megalomaniac? Yes, oh yes.
Seriously, thank you for your stupidity. It almost makes me feel better, that this somehow explains the outright idiocy being played out every day by our government.
Don't worry son, everyone makes mistakes in life. The real story here is that you just cannot believe everything you read, including most of the posts here.
My real point is, you suck at the internet.
This just proves my point. People on the Christian right are bloody morons. Idiots. Without a brain. Operating with less than 80 I.Q. points. Self righteous, moronic, without any subtlety, without any understanding. Jackasses, the whole lot.
This just proves my point. People on the Christian right are bloody morons. Idiots. Without a brain. Operating with less than 80 I.Q. points. Self righteous, moronic, without any subtlety, without any understanding. Jackasses, the whole lot.
On a more serious note, it's people like you who are responsible for the tens of thousands of deaths in Iraq, for the unnecessary suffering in New Orleans, and all the other such attrocities perpetuated by the "Godly" administration you kept in power. You know not what you do, but I do not forgive you.
There's not much left to say except-
lol
oh my god so much lulz
Hey Pete, i thought you could use a joke after all the heat you've been recieving, so here it is:
how many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
depends on how fast you can abort them...
aborted babies taste like candy, if you weren't so stupid you could realize that.
The onion is funny leave it at that, i would go into hiding if i were you (i hear osama found a good cpot, maybe you should get in touch with him)
WOW!
UNBELIEVABLY FRIGGIN' STUPID!
Whatta maroon. Thanks for the laff . . . now, go save that vag, simp
Thanks for the much needed laugh today but on the other hand, it's kind of depressing to know that there are people THAT stupid.
Actually, I do believe in abortion. Too bad all the rural jackasses who use my name for their bigotry don't. God knows you're all too fucking stupid to live.
Hey Pete,
Thanks for the laugh!
Sincerely,
El Comandante
I am so sorry. I don't think anyone deserves this much abuse.
On the other hand ...
GOD this is funny!
I will also be praying ... for you to get some common sense, that is. Though I must admit, your dumb ass has provided an enormous amount of satisfaction to me. You've proven that the ultra-right wing of the country is a bunch of out-of-touch nutjobs living in its own personal ideological echo chamber hell bent on silencing dissent or alternative points of view. Your ignorance has done wonders for my outlook on our current political scene.
You really aren't aware that the onion is a satirical humor site are you? Such a thing would have been made clear by simply looking at few articles on the site or even doing a quick check through google for "the onion." Instead you chose to publish without even doing a simple check on the reliability of your source.
I do honestly hope that this is a failed attempt to add your own level of humor to this satire and not a serious response to what is quite blatantly a comical article.
Holy sweet mother of fuck you are stupid. Thanks for making my day, you stupid asshole.
Please read my book The Coming of Tan, it will make everything clear to you my child. You are not really stupid, juts a little confused, it happens. O kwa tan zeen wan, friend.
first.. it's the ONION, lady. the fucking ONION. nobody believes the onion.
second.. so WHAT if people have sex before they're married? are you a Christian? then it's GOD'S place to judge. NOT YOURS.
Like several commenters here, I am a bit bothered by the intense criticism and hate directed at you, Pete. We all make mistakes.
But the problem is that you and people like you believe Americans are too free, and you have elected those who can turn the U.S. into the land of the less free.
Believe anything irrational thing you want, but once you try to impose your irrational rules on everyone else, be prepared for the well-deserved hate.
ABORTIONS KICK ASS
Pete is the world's biggest Jackass who will believe any fantasy for the truth- from the Bible to the Onion.
Going on my 5th abortion next week, cant wait!
The Psychotic Patriot is furiously working on a post ... uhhh... somewhat similar to this... ummm... one... using a NY Times story about the rape and murder of a teenager in Iraq, which fills the neocon bill of killing all the Muslims (and a little slap and tickle beforehand wink wink). I would never believe this NY Times story as real, because, you know, it was in the NY Slimes.
I'm ashamed at all my liberal bretheren and sisteren taking cheap (but exceedingly funny) shots at Pete. He is only doing what he feels called to do, which appears to be forcing people to have as little sex as he does.
So lighten up, libs. We're looking directly at the future here with Pete, and it's really seriously funny.
Remember, I'm writing a post that will be even more satirical than Pete's, believing the NY Times!
Nah. I just couldn't resist leaving a comment on the most popular (for all the wrong reasons) one-day wonderblogs on the internets.
I guess he felt the truthiness of it. :P
Pete's response: http://marchtogether.blogspot.co.../07/
satire.html
...I'm afraid it's hopeless, not only with Pete but with all those like him.
I daresay, this cake appears to be rofl.
Hahaha...pwned!
Visit www.sternfans.net
The West Coast Howard Stern Fan Site.
You've received a place of honor at the Laughing Academy.
Be assured that this will be distributed throughout the Internet, and that you will be encountering this for decades.
The Internet is a Darwinian place. You've heard of Darwin, right?
Good lord. I'd offer you a clue, but you are clearly beyond help. Just keep believing whatever it is you believe, just stay out of our lives.
Ha ha. proves everything I ever thought about fun-duh-meantalists.
Wow.
How could ANYBODY be that stupid?
593 comments? Time to pack up, tuck tail between legs, and start a new blog somewhere else.
And try to avoid gaffes like this the next time.
this is fuel for my "post-term abortion" campain...
Thank you pete!
lol...sorry man
Pete, you magnificent bastard - I READ YOUR BLOG!
And it was fucking High-Larious!
Don't ever change dude. And make sure the cream cheese you have between your ears keep churning out the comedy gold.
Hey Pete, people like you make me happy that I had an abortion. I certianly wouldn't want to be resposible for raising a retard like you.
Keep writing, though.
You're precious!
btw- my husband and I pray for your misguided little soul.
To Satan, of course.
I normally pride myself on my tolerance. But Christ, you are a fucktard. And God hates you, he told me so.
Dude... hope you are not on vacation!
Haloscan might be asking for some extra $$$ to house all these comments!!!
Well at least you can say you made #1 on BlogTopSites. Bet you didn't think you could do it
________________________________________
ZZ Bachman / ZardozZ News & Satire Portal
You're an idiot. Better luck next time.
You're one of those people who thinks cartoons are real, aren't you? One of those kids who wore a superman cape and tried to jump off your house, right?
I know you were. Don't worry, it's a secret between us. ~
Umm, you do realize that "the onion" is satire, right?
I mean, you'd have to be pretty dense not to realize that.
Maybe you are satirizing satire in your blog?
OH! I get it now! HAHAHAHAHHA! erm..
Pete,
Unlike most of the people commenting here, I am going to ignore the blatancy of your level of intelligence in posting this. I'm not here to call you stupid. HOWEVER, your implication that only unmarried women get abortions is untrue, and not very informed. What about victims of rape or incest or women who have more goals in life than being brood-mares? What about selective reduction for multiple fetus pregnancies? What about babies who will be born with horrible deformities or die shortly after birth anyway? What about when contraceptives don't work?
I also object to your objections about birth control; Arent you trying to avoid abortions? You'd think pro-lifers would realize that sex is PART of life, and people are going to have it. Even good christian women. (GASP!) Isnt that what the 60's and 70's were all about? So how do pro-lifers like yourself not get the point already?
The bible says sex is only for procreation. Until all pro-lifers commit to not having sex, I don't believe them. True, this was written long before modern reality, but you seem to want to keep up all these archaic outdated practices, so...
Oh yeah, and one more thing...these days we call someone who walks again after being dead a zombie. Anyone who worships a zombie is kinda scary in and of itself... :: shiver::
p.s. i agree, no uterus, no opinion. You tell me you dont think there might be a little merit in the idea of abortion after you have been pregnant and suffered through that; hemorrhoids, cramps, morning sickness, diabetes, and all the other 'beautiful' side effects...
Not only are you a moron and making yourself look foolish by responding to a FAKE newspaper, but you're also a moron for expressing your moronic opinions. I'm married, and I don't want kids right now. I use contraceptives, but if for some ungodly reason I were to get pregnant, I'd still have an abortion, simply because it's my body, and it's my right. I bet that tears you up, doesn't it? You, sir, are one load of semen your mother should have swallowed. Idiots like you are sucking up my precious air and wasting space on the planet. Please do us all a favor and remove yourself from the gene pool by killing yourself. Now.
Seriously, go turn the oven on and stick your head in it. You can also try playing in traffic, turning the car on in the garage, swallowing household chemicals, playing russian roulette, jumping off a tall building, putting weights on your ankles and jumping into a large body of water, dousing yourself in gasoline and lighting yourself on fire, etc, etc. You get the idea. Now that I've helped you brainstorm, please go kill yourself.
i could only make it through the first two-hundred or so comments, before my tears obscured the screen and my stomach hurt from giggling.
sometimes i worry about the forces of evil (bushco) winning, but if the operators of fascism are at this level, i have no fear.
Abortion could've ended this tragedy of a blog.
Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? I don't get it, signed, Pete
I'm not for one second surprised that this article was written by a pro-lifer.
Blogs are great
except for Pete's!
You are not very smart?
His Karma killed his Dogma....
Perhaps the brain-trust here, who are continuously pointing out that "The Onion" is a satirical entity, and calling him (Pete) an idiot, perhaps are unaware that Pete might just be Onioning all of you?! 
Wow, if ever there were a walking typing example for why abortion should remain legal for brain dead fetuses.
You're are the perfect argument for pro-choice. Thank you. Keep up the good work.
In other news dinosoaurs have been cloned in jurassic park. and superman has returned!
I haven't read all of the nearly 600 comments to this, but in scanning, I don't think I've seen anything from anyone who actually has been through the procedure.
I'm here to share my experience.
I'm a married woman, and we do use birth control, but sometimes it fails...disastrously.
We have neither the money or the future prospect of money to raise a child, nor do I suspect that any offspring of ours that we would foist upon the state would be cherished and loved and adopte by a family that could feed, clothe and educate that child.
My birth control failed.
As I found myself upon the table, drugged out of my mind, the doctor who was making part of his living doing this procedure had the BALLS to say, "Are you sorry you ended up here?"
In the pre-operative suite, all 13 of us got to know each other well: one girl was seduced by her high school gym coach; another was raped by a relative; several of us were there through simple failures of birth control and a few of us were repeat offender White Trash people who just simply considered an abortion (yuck!) less expensive than birth control.
I said to the doctor, stoned as I was, "Hey, you give me $100,000 to raise this kid, and I'll stop you from sucking it into the sink drain. Or else, adopt it!"
And the bastard said, "You should've thought of that before you opened you knees."
If I hadn't been stoned beyond all reason I would've kicked him in the head.
I won't be a woman who will raise a little under-privelaged criminal: I will think through what I do.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of that BABY (yes, I said the word), but I won't contribute to a society in which we abandon our children to the mercy of the system and expect OTHER PEOPLE to rear our children.
I want to live in world where children are wanted, supported, fed and educated properly. Barring that, I live in a world where abortion exists.
This is just another reason why less people are taking the pro-life movement seriously.
You go, girl! Stick it to that moonbat publication "The Onion"!
LOL
Even *I* knew that was satire.
Hey Pete - hear that honking outside your door? The short bus is here to pick you up and drive you home.
You DO realise that the article you linked to and quoted was satire, right?
The Onion is a newspaper of parody and satire, nothing more.
The only thing that would have been funnier is if you had quoted a Weekly World News article.
Helen you stupid bitch. Get me the coat hangers.
The only rational course of action is to find and firebomb this imaginary woman.
IMAGINARY FETUSES MUST BE SAVED!
Lightning has struck twice.
After agingyoung@yahoo.com cited as proof an Onion article showing all homosexuals to be extraterrestrial devilworshippers, or something, I never expected [feared] that I'd find another imbecile inferring anything Oniony to be factual, accurate, or otherwise real.
Pete: In a few months, when this information permeates the protective lining of your brain, and you realise what an utter fucking mistake you've made, go directly to http://GodHatesBrains.com and ask for forgiveness; then stop over at http://LandoverBaptist.org just to be completely safe.
--Gremlin
http://gremlin.net
I've had two abortions. The first one was a horrible experience and I had emotional issues about it for a few years. (mostly because the guy who got me pregnant refused to believe that I was pregnant and offered no help in the situation.) I found out that I was pregnant again a few years later and had another stressful experience. The second abortion was better in terms of pain, but I can't say I enjoyed it.
Why did I do it? I wasn't ready and I had a drinking problem. I didn't want to risk my life or a child's life by having a baby with birth defects.
Whatever your ideas about what morals are, I think I took personal responsibility and made the right choice for the mistakes I made.
Call me a drunk slut, but you have no idea what it's like to make that choice. I had to take care of my addictions first. I did the best thing I could.
I'm thinking about having a party now. Thanks.
I have the coat hangers
Wow. I mean, is it possible to have missed that the Onion is a satirical publication? How could you have made it past the main page without getting the joke? God bless you Limbaughstic Dittoheads for giving intellegent conservatives and liberals and all us in between something to laugh at!
ssts
What a stupid moron! Are all anti-choicers as dumb as you?
im so glad Pete hasnt found out about my plans for a chain of drive-thru abortion clinics.. id really be in for it then..
I am amazed you can even operate a computer.
Wow. I don't want to kick a guy when he's already down, so let me try to put a positive spin on it--
I'm jealous of all the traffic to your blog, Pete!
And...let's keep abortion safe and legal.
Just wanted to add one more name to the list of people who read this and are laughing at you, dumbass. OWNED!
And these are the morons that think that they have the special right to "breed"?
Hahaha, hilarious. You're the laughing stock of like 2 dozen message boards now. NICE ONE!
This is the best thing that's happened to me all day.
Thanks.
hilarious - such a fucking botard
So, you mistook the Onion for a news source? Aren't you glad to know you have something in common with the Chinese communists?
-jcr
Dumb Shit -- do you live in a hole? If you are for something, make sure you know what the f&$k you are talking about. I'm against abortion too, but Jesus Fucking Christ your stupid!
Your new Caroline Weber myspace default image.
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You're an idiot.
lurk more noob
I can't even keep up with all the comments; by the time I finish reading one comment thread, a hundred more comments have been posted, and an utterly clueless Pete has decided to post not one, but two follow-ups as undeniable testimony of his stupidity.
I read that and then all the smart fell out of my head.
THAT is bloody GENIUS. Thanks, Pete. Wondering if this lady's actions count as an attempted manslaughter?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/
20060...gnant_rescuer_2
You should really get on that.
I believe Nelson from the Simpsons said it best: "HAH ha!"
Please never post again. You're a terrible person, Pete. Terrible and incompetent. And an idiot, to boot.
Most of your comments made wet my pants with laughter, though - that's a positive thing.
Hey Pete, well you know how dumb you are by now, but really what gives you the right to tell women what to do with their bodies?
How about women all over the world getting on your case to get the snip so you can't procreate and bring another dumb shit into this world.
Way to go idiot.
I know it is mean to laugh, but honestly! This is just so beyond belief it is hilarious.
Sorry Pete, here is some advice for you you should shut this joint down, slink away from the blogosphere, take a hammer and smash your computer to bits, and embrace life as a luddite, take up knitting or something.
It really saddens me that I am in a culture war with the likes of idealogs like this. Oh well, save the babies so we can send them off to war...
ha. you fucking idiot. just goes to show how ignorant, self-righteous and stupid anti-choice folks are!
Wow. You're stupid.