Your last paragraph is thought-provoking. Somewhere I read the question, "What if God took away all the gifts we didn't thank Him for or didn't use properly?" Well, I'd be a mute! 
Kim,
I still remember walking down the aisle at my wedding, and my dad said, "I sure am proud of you." For the first time. I just wanted to stop the processional and say, "You are?" Instead, The Show Must Go On.
My dad showed some wisdom when he went in for surgery...surgery he knew he could die from (and he did.) He wrote us an email, telling us how proud he was of us, and how much he loved us. What a gift that letter is. I went most of my life without knowing that from my dad.
My six year old responds to "I love you, Brennan" with "Mama, you have told me that a thousand million times." I consider that a compliment and intend to make sure to say it a thousand million more. Beats the alternative, eh?
Great post,
Diane
I just wrote a letter to my own mother regarding our very conflicted relationship in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and after I'd prayed about it for awhile. Words (written or spoken) are a very big deal - thanks for a great post.
It IS so important to be affirming, not only to our children, but to everyone we come in contact with. I can remember making it a practice to not say 'no' all the time to my son. So, if he came in asking for a cookie and it wasn't the right time for one, I would say, "Yes, after you eat dinner." Or, "Yes, you can go out and play, if you have finished..." That way it wasn't always a "no, no, no..."
Thank you, Kim, for writing so much on this topic. I've had thoughts and feelings related to this topic this week, but haven't been able to get them down in writing. I appreciate you sharing.
You are right on with this post. I've got to look into some of the things you mention you're reading- such good stuff comes out of them!
One of the things I thank God for is that even the healing, tender, encouraging words of a third party can influence the hearts in a relationship. A kind word spoken on someone's behalf can be so encouraging. That's something we easily forget.
My mother was a miserable lady- sad, hurt, bitter, terrified of life, and unable to ever open up or be loved. She loved fiercely, but you'd never know it to hear her talk. I spent the first 22 years of my life convinced she hated me and wished she'd never been a mother.
Then God sent Zorak into my life- and he was able to help me look through the damaging words and see the fearful heart behind them. Wow. Now that Mom has passed, it breaks my heart that her other children didn't have someone to whisper God-breathed affirmations to them. They wonder if she really loved them and still feel rejected.
Oops- gettin' too wordy again. Sorry.
Anyhow, I'm thankful that God can use the words of others to soften our hearts toward those who don't know how to express gentleness or kindness. What a blessing!
Dy
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