I worked with kids for awhile in various venues. I was a single foster parent to adolescent boys for a season, and worked in a Christian facility in Texas with teen girls. I worked in various shelters in New Hampshire and Nevada and taught middle school. Our hands were tied in many instances in regards to discipline because the state has dominion over how children in institutions and such are disciplined. One must be creative because it is getting to the point that a child can't even get put in time out in some places (too traumatic! they say) I got trained in Texas with something called Love and Logic principles. I have been trained in every way imaginable with regards to kids. Love and Logic turned out to be the best that I came across. It is very practical and Biblical in many ways. Check out their website sometime. Loveandlogic.com. Especially read their articles. It just regards parenting as a way to teach kids through their own trial and error so to speak. It puts responsibility on their shoulders. As an example.....the never ending battle parents might have with a child wearing a coat when it is cold. Parents generally say....wear your coat, it's cold outside! Kid rebels. Love and Logic states....would you like to wear your coat or carry your coat? It gives kids a sense of control, and you get what you want. There is much more involved of course. I am trying to encourage my daughter to read the book because I am sure she has the real Damion for a child and he is that magical age of two. "rolling eyes". She is fruitlessly trying the countdown method at this time...I'm gonna count down! I mean it! Three, TWO...I MEAN it! You better do it....ONE....I SAID do it!!! You get the picture. This child has also learned that screaming, crying, whining will get him what he wants. Sigh....I am giving her a great tool to utilize but she doesn't see it yet. Anyways, long post, but seeing how this method worked so well with teen girls that came to us so so so rebellious..made it really fun to "parent". I wish I could have used it when my kids were growing up. Anyways, long comment, and I am generally not a proponent of "methods" to raise children, but this method really works and is fun too.
Nice entry. Also agree with above comments about the love and logic program. It really seems to work. I used Dobson and other authors while raising my kids (Actually I'm not done yet...) but they were good resources for me. The best, really, were other parents which I felt were good parents. I modeled mostly after others. But you're right. I have a special needs child, and there just wasn't a lot out there. There is no magic formula. Prayer is best.
I went to the site I mentioned but the articles are bits and pieces, so it is hard to get the whole picture of love and logic. Here is a page of enforceable statements that I found effective, especially when kids get manipulative. Hope it is helpful. I consider parenting information as tools and nothing more. The wisdom and discernment that God gives us is to be paramount of course. Anyways here is one page to check out.
http://www.loveandlogic.com/
pdfs...enforceable.pdf
Kim, thanks so much for this post. As a new mother I am very interested in parenting discussion and books. This post offered some very helpful insight. I'll have to go back and read your old Ezzo entry.
I know so many people (me included) whose one regret as parents is that they didn't lighten up more or a little sooner.
well said, Kim.
Excellent, Kim.
I felt like cheering, which is more than I can say about the Oilers game tonight (sorry to bring that here ...).
Kim, that was just what I needed to read tonight. . .
And while not everyone has a good relationship with their own mother, I've found that best parenting guidance for me has come from my own mother. She was not the perfect mother. She didn't do everything "right" by a long shot. But she has the wisdom of the years, knows what DIDN'T work with us--and has a strong relationship with each of us. She was very gentle and respectful of my mommying, even when I was doing stupid, stupid things. *cough, ezzo* But only made kind observations--never pushy. But the comments she made stuck with me, and later helped me have better perspective.
All that to say, I wish I had listened to my Mom more when I was younger, and she's one of my primary sources for wisdom now.
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