It's disgusting how any parent could ignore the sexual abuse of their own child, especially in the case of another abusive parent.
If the mother isn't there to stand up for her child, who will?
Parents which sweep stuff like that under the rug need to pay!
Yes Jacey its so hurtful and so the feelings are unexplainable, but you never feel worth anything for the rest of your life when your own mother abandons you.
~violet
Shirley Lowery says she's glad she never told about her abuse. Betty Price says she's glad she never told about her abuse. Jan Kruska told about her abuse and her mother apparently told her to keep quiet so her abuser wouldn't go to jail. That was so helpful to her that now she lobbies for the sex offender rather than the victim.
You are a strong and intelligent person Violet and I admire you very much.
"How can humans be trustworthy when they do not break the cycles that are destroying each other?"
Well said.
Stitches
Thanks Stitches. The same to you!
Shirley Lowery says she's glad she never told about her abuse. Betty Price says she's glad she never told about her abuse. Jan Kruska told about her abuse and her mother apparently told her to keep quiet so her abuser wouldn't go to jail. That was so helpful to her that now she lobbies for the sex offender rather than the victim.
I see a pattern there Shirley, Betty, and Jan...hrmm... looks like... ignorance!
This is why it is so important that we tell about the abuse and get it out.
The more we talk about it the more
we heal.
The more we heal the more aware we are of our surroundings and making it a better place for the next generations, because we chose to break the cycle of abuse.
We chose to stand for that which does not destroy.
Those 3 women, the ignorants--- they have not evolved enough to realize that the world is not all about them and their selfish desires.
~violet
Shirley, Betty and Jan are so stupid it makes my head hurt just thinking about their opinions. Like you say, telling is the only way to help heal. Every survivor I know has told me this. My experience when younger from a childhood friend indicates that having understanding and emotional release could have made all of the difference in the outcome of their life.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MEN WITH YOUR SICKENING PENISES AND YOUR SICKENING TONGUES AND YOUR FUCKING SICKENING TESTICLES!
I HATE YOU!
LOL. You should sign this:
http://www.petitiononline.com/CA...F/
petition.html
Much love,
gentlesubmissive
I was in the midst of a flashback there... lol
Yeah i would love to see them all castrated and medicated.
systenogo
Yes it is the key that we survivors must use to heal.
I saw that movie too.. and it's ppl like jan and the other blame gamers who stay in the past and let the man rule the home.. that's why i get so pissed off when they speak and wish they'd shut the hell up.
It was hard to watch, but in those days it was a reality.
Like my aunt told me,when I asked why she let my dad take us away and no one helped us she said " I didn't this was going on, and even if I did we didn't tell the men what to do back in those days".
She did know.. she choose to not say a word.
Yeah I know and it is a shame, I think though I would not had been so grateful.
lol!
I don't remember if I told you about this story I was told years ago.
There was this lady who was married to a woman beater. He came home mad every so often and beat her and then yelled for his meal and then went to bed.
The wife decided one day she would take no more. Being a strict catholic divorce was out of the question. She made a plan.
So one night he comes home and beats her, demands dinner and goes to bed.
After he was sleeping she tied him up with some rope, and beat him with the broomstick.
He never beat her again, in fact, he was a changed man for the rest of his life.
I will never forget this story. It takes all you can do to change and force change. No violence is not the key. But men like this only understand violence, and only understand what it is like after they feel it.
Kinda the same for these pedophiles.
This is why BRD they hate us.
Because we are whipping them senseless!!
~violet
I love that story!
This is why BRD they hate us.
Because we are whipping them senseless!!
Oh yea, we sure are
reading your post reminded me of me and my mum, it was like i was reading my story, i have never seen that film and don't think that i could.
I came across your site from youtube, your site was on my links to my video 'child abuse poem healing' (i am pantz64) but couldn't find my video anywhere here but no matter, I like what you do and keep it up and lets get these pedos off our streets and away from our kids.
Hi Angela!
Thanks for commenting and stopping by!
That link you seen on YouTube was more than likely from a comment. I don't remember posting that video- in any case glad to meet you!
~violet
It's just a movie, bitch.
I watched "Bastard out of Carolina" several years ago. I happened to see it during a time when I was dealing with the death of my own abusive father. I know it's crazy, but even though he sexually abused me for years, I miss him terribly now that he's gone. Part of me hates him for what he's done, yet another part of me wants to make excuses for him... it was just the alchohol... he really was a good person... etc. My mother also turned her back on me when I told her what was going on. She left him over it, but the crazy thing was that she tried to leave me with him!! I heard her leaving in the middle of the night after they fought over what I'd told her, and I chased her out the door and begged her to take me with her. She knew for years it was going on, but I suppose I'd just happened to tell her at a convenient time. She was already planning to leave him because he was abusive to her, so that just added to her side of the arguement. I'm still not sure if she ever believed me. She sure as hell wasn't trying to protect me, she was just using that as an excuse to get away from him... pretty evident in the fact that she tried to leave me with him. Either way, I know how twisted your mind can become after you've experienced something like that, but I also know that you have the power to stop that cycle. I have three beautiful children, I love them dearly, and I would kill anyone who hurt them. The fact that I was abused doesn't make me more likely to abuse them, it makes me more determined to make damned sure that it doesn't happen to them. I have no sympathy for someone who uses their own abuse as an excuse to abuse other children. If it really hurt them, they'd never want to do it to another person... and, I believe that the fact that I was abused makes me a better parent in a way. I'm way more protective of my children, and I'm extremely careful about the people my husband and I are friends with. Don't be fooled by that "cycle". It's only a cycle if you allow it to be.
Proudmommy777
I am sorry you had to go through that.
It hurts to know that the people who were supposed to love and care for us abused us and used us and then in my case just walked away.
Breaking the cycle is what we must do. I am glad that your doing the same.
You are thriving because you choose to be a survivor and break the cycle. Great work! Welcome here anytime!
~violet
Violet,
Thanks a million. It's nice to have people that want to be there for you after you've been through something like this. We've been pretty much taught our whole lives to keep our mouths shut about what happened to us. It seems a taboo topic of discussion, even though it's the one thing that will help us to heal. I'm also sorry about what happened to you, and I'll be here if you ever feel the need to discuss what happened. It makes me feel better to have people come right out and ask questions about it, although I understand not everyone feels the same. I guess, when people talk to me and ask questions about it, it almost makes me feel like I'm more normal... like I was the victim here. When people treat it as a taboo subject, it makes me feel like I did something wrong. It took my husband a while to realize that. He was just so uncomfortable with the fact that something so bad happened to me, and there was nobody who he could take that anger out on because my father was already dead by the time I'd met him. I now realize that it tortured him to hear these things about the person he loved. He wasn't trying to avoid the topic because he didn't love me or because he thought I'd done something wrong. He wanted to avoid it because it hurt him as well. I feel lucky to have run across you. Thank you for your offer to be there for me even though you don't know me. I'm a firm believer that something good comes from everything.
Hey all... I posted a comment on here a few months ago, and the reply I recieved was so wonderfully sweet and caring, that I've thought about you (Violet) several times since then. I just wanted to drop in and give a little update. The man I've been seeing for the past 8 years has finally proposed to me!! It's times like these that make me feel like I've really overcome what happened to me in the past. I know I've only heard from you once, but the fact that you reached out to me to offer your kind words in the face of such an ugly situation has stayed with me ever since. I care about you for that, and I wish you the very best. Thank you!
Thanks Kristi
I am glad you came back! Congratulations on the engagement!
Yes once we get past the pain of the our childhood and grow and learn how to survive we can truly thrive. Like we were supposed to, to begin with.
We can break the cycle and we are lovable. We are fine, we are ok we are survivors! We deserve to be loved!
Your welcome here anytime!
~violet
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