Talk to me!
Someday when Atticus is at the age where he's embarrassed by you, you'll have an opportunity for redemption.
Also, "the operation" is reversable. My dad had it and had it reversed 10 years later to have my sister. The funny thing is he had four boys before the procedure and after it was reversed he finally got a girl. He says the doc reversed the plumbing.
Did you know that there are other methods of birth controls aside from condoms and vasectomies?
It's true!
Oh, stop being such a pussy and get snipped already.
Condoms are for teenagers and drug mules.
On the other hand, it would give you something to blog about...
men and mommy.
scarred.for.life.
Ha!
That's hilarious. Our 2 year old thinks the little plastic wrappers are the best toys ever invented. Money is wasted on Dora toys when she'd settle for a pack of Four Seasons Ultra Thins. Problem is she has supersonic hearing and can recognise the rattling sound in her sleep. Get the snip...
I'm with you. Done having kids, leery of the snip. I actually don't mind condoms because they, um, help prolong the moment. You know, from one minute to two.
We bought a box of 40 about three years ago. Still working through it. See, I've got sad stories too.
If we ever reach the end of that old box, and I have to buy a new one, it's Amazon.com all the way. The mailman thinks he's delivering a book or DVD.
I would have told the cashier that the midget in the trunk of the car should be hungry about now.
And to have a nice day.
Not that it's relevant here yet but the snip scares me because it doesn't seem to work very well. Be careful! My family back home knows three young kids (from three different families) who are all post-snip babies and ten or more years younger than their siblings.
I guess that could be a damning indictment of NZ doctors, though. Or maybe praise for NZ sperm. Not sure.
This is going to have me laughing all day!
Hysterical. Yep, we do have it made. Great pasta, Liza Minnelli and I always know I'll never have an kid by accident.
Thanks for another great laugh.
Go get snipped. The one's that it doesn't take are the ones who don't follow up afterwards (the number is HUGE that don't return to make sure they're shooting blanks.) My hubby got snipped. He tried to duck out of it with a, and I swear to you this wasn't said in a joking manner, "Well, but honey... you've already had two kids. So, you know... the pain wouldn't bother YOU... Wouldn't it just be easier?"
I think once he realized I might go get the garden shears, that he went and made an appointment all by himself and got it taken care of. BTW - he said it wasn't that bad. (But he might have still been picturing the shears.)
I don't want my junk under the scalpel either. There's some new laser procedure, but if you think too much about it it's not any better.
There's really an expiration date? I better go check.
By the time this box expires, Atticus should be old enough to run to the store and get them for you. That'll teach him.
"My Daddy uses this on men and Mommy" had me cracking up for about a minute!
You wrote the expiration date for the condoms or for you?
hilarious!
one of my good friends just had that procedure and while he had to lie about for a couple days with a bag of frozen peas on his balls, he claimed it was a piece of cake.
you can choose a different frozen vegetable to soothe your pain if that's any consolation. 
You're definitely not alone here! I've been trying to convince my husband to get snipped for years.
Who's that casting devious stares in your direction? Mama this surely is a dream. You wish. I still have to suit up when I go into the voting booth with the wife. I too am 36, I want to be like Tony Randall though, producing kids and revivals of The Odd Couple well into my 70's. Good news....they're reversible now. Vasectomy and voting results.
Get the operation, already. It wasnt a big deal for me.
Other than the smell of burnt flesh and the doc having a running conversation with me the whole time as he was cutting my sac.
"Man" and mommy wouldn't have caught my attention but "men"? :P
No, no, and no.
These were the words I spoke when the subject was broached by the current Mrs JerryChicken some years ago after the doctor had told her "you can't keep taking these tablets for ever you know...send your husband in for a chat with me"
"What does he know" I asked of her, "he's an imbecile who's too young to understand imperial measurements , why I bet he's not even done it with a lady yet..."
"We haven't seen your husband for nearly fifteen years" the doctor told her the last time she went in there.
Given that he's threatening to chop my bollacks off the next time I go what does he expect ?
The buffoon.
as much as want to deliver some snarky comment about sex and being young and blah, blah, blah, i can't get passed the line about your cup being filled to the brim and you being ready to enjoy a drink. seriously, that's one of the cleanest lines from a parenting blog i've read in a long time outside of dooce and sweet juniper. in the middle of all the other humor in this post it shows how much you truly love your life. nice work.
If you get snipped, I'll call you Charlie with more reverence and enthusiasm than ever. Wait, that sounds totally creepy and scary - nevermind.
Your kid is funny.
It is funny what kids understand from what you say. Wait until he is older and then pray he has no memory of what he thought you said or you are going to have to explain why you use them on men too.
We had a lovely conversation on the way to the sledding hill the other day about my surprise baby and how did he happen if we didn't do "that thing" to get him. They also now understand what it means when someone says they are trying to get pregnant. Possibly more scarring emotionally to me than to them!
Damn that's funny!
Men AND Mommy? - do tell Atticus...
Salad dressing and baby batter made me shoot the proverbial milk outta the nose. Wait - that's not a proverb, is it... whatever.
quit being such a pussy already. it was a $30 co-pay for chrissakes!
mine went something like this:
http://
thechestpains.blogspot.co...22_archive.html
it wasn't the procedure that freaked me out so much as the follow-up:
http://
thechestpains.blogspot.co...04_archive.html
FYI: that thing is still loaded - 15 to 20 ejaculations - after the snip.
Sadly, this sounds like just the type of this my GROWN-MAN of a husband would say to embarrass me.
My kids have never noticed the condom box. Maybe they've gotten use to it because I buy the bulk pack from Costco about once a month. :P
I'm more of a rhythm man myself. I call it the jackrabbit machine gun, Crystal loves it. She still doesn't make me coffee afterwards but whatever.
Men & Mommy. Nice.
My wife and I are laughing at this one together. That is pure comedy, at your expense.
As for baby control I prefer the pill. then if anything goes wrong I can blame my wife.
I think I'm done with kids and wives too. My checkbook runeth over.
Too funny. You've got to leave those kids at home when you're condom shopping, clearly. Although if you go through condoms at such a rate that you're having to throw out expired ones, maybe it's a rare occurrence, shopping for condoms.
That's hilarious!
"their salad dressing being misused as baby batter"
Ewwww.
Also? LOL. It's been a long time since a blog made me do that.
OMG!!! that may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. Can't wait to tell Wynter and the girls at work! Atticus is going to be famous someday!!
Okay, I'm laughing out loud. The poor Target girl. And poor you. So freaking funny. Found you on sk*rt. Awesome. Great story.
Classic.
ROFLMAO.
I've never been here to visit before but you just made me a lifelong reader. Goooood stuff and Oh so true!!!
When Alex was 3 and I was checking out I turned to him and said "Oh, we forgot daddy's chips! What do you think he'll do?"
He promptly replied, "Probably beat you up."
My cashier, the one next to me and the lady behind me all stopped and just stared at me. I thought I was going to die and of course the more I explained that I wasn't a beaten housewife, the more I seemed to convince them I was.
Men and mommy.
I seriously laughed out loud and I don't laugh out loud.
PERFECT.
I loved this post... it is nice to know men have these embarrassing experiences, too. ...and isn't it always the KIDS that "out" ya? LOLOL!
Hi,
After reading a comment on Gathen's blog where you called him a dickweed, I had to come over and visit. Here I was just thinking that there were funny and talented moms blogging, and now I'm finding dads that are just as talented and funny, and from a different perspective, even.
Just wanted to let you know that my husband was also afraid of the snip. I think his exact words were "no freaking way is anything sharp going near my dick", or something like that. At the time we had two girls. Now we have three. Ages 15, 13, and 5. Luckily, #3 was a C-section and I had my tubes tied at the same time the kid was removed.
Of course, he didn't do the condom thing either. We used the "rhythm method" (stop laughing, it worked for 7 years). So anyway, I'm sure you're safe with your raincoats. Probably.
Sometimes the stories just write themselves. Awesome.
Priceless.
That was hys-fucking-sterical!
Clearly, I lucked out getting you as my interviewee for Citizen of the Month's Experiment. Questions coming to an in box near you shortly...
Nice. As for the vasectomy...yeah, it aches, but it's not that bad. I expected worse!!
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