Talk to me!
Thank you, thank you so much. I only hope that tomorrow, I will be able to throw something at a cook.
What no rootbeer? This is the worst paid posting I have ever read in my goddamned life. I want my money back damnit! You told me it would be all artistic and shit.
Hey Anthony, why are we hanging out here at 2am?
Excellent story but the "I stayed there for two years after" part is a little soul-crushing. I think you should retell this story once a month with a different ending every time.
I look forward to the "Drunken Knife Fight in the Alley" ending.
My current set of co-workers are more of the "all sorts of cosmetic dentalwork" variety, but I still could have written that first paragraph about how my job makes me feel. And your cook reminds me of the one in my father's old bar, who we called "scary toothed Mike." He called frozen meatballs "meat candy."
Oh my God!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!
That was hilarious!!!
Priceless. Brilliant.
I LOVED it - and now I feel a little guilty for that...
You truly are a treasure, Mr Honea..
xoxox
What a story. I love the part about the tooth winking at you. Ha! But yeah, the end is kind of depressing.
"...and that, children, is when I learned to Never Trust A Car."
Who knew you were the Gordon Ramsay of family dining...
Consider me one of the ranks of soldiers who truly appreciate this post. I worked as a restaurant cook for nearly 10 years and know exactly of which you speak. Heck, I probably even worked with the same mono-toothed greaseball as you did at one point or another. I learned very early on that the job of the expediter was no easy task. Trying to coordinate the personal timings of each individual cook with each individual server so the food got to the table at the right time and as hot and fresh as possible takes a lot more skill than people realize.
Anyhow, as you can tell, you've pushed one of my buttons - but in a good way. Thanks...
Fabulous story!
"I hurled that frozen corn dog twenty feet, past trays and heads and glasses of beer. I threw it long and I threw it hard. My aim was true."
I could see this happening, I saw that damn frozen corn dog, in all of it's glory, flying with the cartoon trails of speed. I even saw the corn dog hit, then the stars, oh the stars!
Fabulous, just fabulous!
Sorry about the two years after but you will ALWAYS have this story, and you will always be feared, when a corn dog is in hand!
DAMN IT, WHIT!! I swear I'm always wearing cloths at the beginning of your posts. I can't say the same when I'm finished.
I worked in restaurants for some time and can say that I'd pay some money to have been able to throw a frozen hotdog at a cook...especially a real cutie-pie like that fucker.
I worked as a waiter at a Mexican restaurant where the head cook was insane. Seriously certifiably insane. I once was removing a plate from the heat lamp only to find that he had gotten sauce on the bottom of the plate, making me to lose my grip, causing the plate to drop back under the heat lamp. Unfortunately for me, this caused a drop of sauce to splash on the nut-job's arm.
He chased me with a giant knife and started screaming he would kill me.
I left and did NOT go back, and thus ended my career as a waiter. :-(
your aim was true. heh, ok mr. costello.
dude, this post is epic in its awesomeness. you are so righteous.
i so remember that night. It was awesome. Just so you all know, he was always feared on the line. He would start yelling and the people would scatter. There were a few of us that would jump in the fray but most just vanished
Great story. I've had miserable jobs that I've stuck with too. I never threw anything though...I just pissed people off.
We had the same fucking job only I had to wear fucking stripes and flair and the place rhymed with Crydays.
I walked out over a bowl of dead cold french onion soup that the fucking MANAGER refused to redo for me. What an ass.
The only good thing that came out of that fucking place is that is where I met my wife. So I guess I can't complain too much.
I just said, "Hey listen to this story about Whit throwing a frozen corndog at a meth addict. It's really funny!"
I loved the story. Are you working on a proposal for the my experiences at peppers book?
Looking back, are you glad the car didn't start? That would have been about the time Zane was coming into the picture I think.
...That is hi-larry-us! Why haven't I heard this story before?
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