What the Beautiful People Say
Can I vote early?, pretty please 
I am pulling for my bud Cpt. Dumbass!
I was thinking more along the lines of bacon to your chocolate. It sounds gross until you try it. You signed up a super awesome crew. I already got an email from Capt Dumbass telling me I better stay out of his Effing way or else. That guy is competitive and totally unreliable totally.
It's a Blog-Off! Can't wait. I never thought of writing as a competitive sport, but I guess it is. I look forward to reading the dads (and dads to be). Be back soon.
Stand aside Ryan, the Captain's Dumb-Ass is about to be mine (and not in a good way)
IB
Hey, I hoping to get distracted by you scratching my...ooops...hehheh, sorry, it got away from me there 
I also have a windfall of cash from a shipment of chocolate (I kept the best) that I double bartered for a stepvan full of Chateauneuf du Pape and a crateful of something called the "Thai Rabbits - requires batteries", so am I in?
I would be delighted to help with the HBSB! Please count me in!
OK Irish Gumbo, you are in as well! I will send you your questions post haste!
Oh, this is really starting to get exciting. I think The Captain fits the job description but I don't know many of the other dudes competing so I'll be nice and wait to make my decision after reading their shiznit.
Can't wait to see how this turns out.
Shit! Even with all the pre-game hype going toward the Captain, I still thought I had a shot. Now that Irish has shown up, I can see I'm going to have to pull out the BIG gun(s)
Petra, I think they were scratching their balls before they even linked over. Can I just tell you how many times I've caught the husband asleep with his hand down his shorts? What's UP with that? Is he trying to cool things down or warm up his hands? Oh, you can make that a question for the new HBSB!
YESSSS!! stand back, y'all, the big balls are in the house!
They make great handwarmers by the way.
Don't worry, girlymen, I'll be gentle with you. "I cry for you, but my tears are from laughter..."
Woot, woot! This is going to be FUN!
Day one and the trash talk has already begun. I've been stricken with man-plague (so much worse than man-cold), but I've shaken myself out my over-the-counter cold medicine induced stupor and I'm brewing a fresh pot of coffee. Stand back, girls, this could get messy. And ladies... ladies! You are looking fabulous today! Did you do something with your hair? Club Hasay woman? Lookin' fine. Please don't take this the wrong way, but are those new jeans? I wasn't looking, honest, but wow!
Ok, I've got some writing to do now, but first I have to wash the kitchen floor, do the laundry, get lunch ready for the kids and rub my wife's feet.
Captain,
Tell the wife to give me a call. I'll show her some foot rubbin' that'll make her head spin.
IB
Pfftt. Pikers. Pansymen. Already with the excuses, Captain? Stand aside, boys should never attempt the work of men...I am the Master Footdude!
Wow, sounds cool, Perhaps we could get some stats from the dad bloggers, Height, Weight and you know WPM (words per minute typed). We could give odds, make bets... Wait thats to serious? ok, ok.. back to high risk off shore betting. just trying to keep it local.
hahahahahaha, you guys are all making me laugh so hard, especially my husband (you better be kidding about the off-shore betting mister!)
Irish,
After I get done with the Captain's wife, Mrs. Gumbo is next!
Oh, and by the way, I don't want to put any pressure on you guys (yeah right), but Cajoh has already passed in his answers and they are pretty good...better get crackin' fellas!
I'm calling a foul on rubbing feet jokes. Just remember what Marsellus Wallace did to Tony Rocky Horror for touching his wife's feet. You just don't do it.
I hope you feel better soon Captain you will need your strength.
I am on pins and needles! I can't wait!
Wow, Cajoh finished pretty quick. Sorry, Petra, but I like to take my time. I like to make sure my "reader" has had the fullest possible experience, that I've done everything I possibly could to please them.
Ryan, nice reference. Now go take some pictures, bitch.
Captain Dumbass' name is Chad? Its like finding out the name of Santa Clause : )
I cant wait to read what they have to say!!!
Ryan--good call. You guys might want to keep the wives out of this. I don't want any bloodshed. Although that WOULD make for an interesting blog post...
I'm actually taking some pics this afternoon for a post later. I'll be sure to build in some extra time to take one more special for you... of my ASS for you to kiss!
When it comes to competition between guys, there must be blood lost. It's part of the fun!
It's also a pre-requisite that we do everything possible to humiliate each other so brace yourself.
OK, I will just step aside then. I don't want to get caught in the crossfire...
Oh, the stats-- I guess you'll at least find out my shoe size in my post (since I'll be trying to fit Heinous' shoes). But other things of note:
Hat size: 7 1/8 to 7 1/4 (depending on the hat) Oh, and by the way I want my hat that I threw into the ring back-- it's cold here in ChiTown.
WPM: Unfortunately I can't break the 65 WPM barrier because I spell in my head.
I'm just glad to be nominated-- oh, that's from my Oscar speech...sorry.
Look at the roosters struttin their stuff around the hen house!!
I'm over here just rolling!! And picture... "of my ASS for you to kiss!" O.M.G. LMAO!!
Suck it, bee-yotches! I'm done. I am the next American Idol!
OK I've tried posting three times. The first time it failed. The second time it told me I had already submitted that comment - Jeeze, really? - and the third time it failed again.
So either you're blocking me or there is a conspiracy.
But what I was going to say was...
Crikey, twice a day? You powerhouse.
I hope these chaps understand the eloquence and polished literary talent that they are up against!
stoneskin, I am not blocking you but I am pretty sure that Haloscan is involved in a conspiracy of some sort because my comments have been constantly fucked up lately.
ooo i can't wait! i love all the trash talking too! unfortunately when i try trash talking i usually lose. just saying...
oh, and i'm still trying to reconcile myself to the fact that it doesn't even seem like you considered my offer. i really do think more like a dude than a chick on most things. i can even prove it. 1. i hate shopping 2. i hate clothes 3. hate makeup 4. hate dressing up 4. like to point out a nice set to hubby if i see them 5. will scratch myself in public if i feel it's necessary.
see? i could do it, i really could!
being the heterosexual male I claim to be, there will be nothing pulled from ass... ever. Thank you very much.
Of course, at the same time in reviewing the candidates I almost made a quip about them being "stiff" competition. Worthy as they are, I'm not going there.
nonna - I would love to work with you on this, but your lack of actual male genitalia unfortunately disqualifies you. There is something about a good hairy pair that makes the comparison between me and my counterpart that much more authentic.
Sorry babe, but I would be happy to collaborate on another project anytime!
Joe Joe Joe Joe!! :o)
I can't wait to read the entries! I assume there will be a shirtless photo accompanying each one to help us decide?
@Jenni: Darlin', I would send a shirtless photo, but in the spirit of fair play, I won't so as to not gain unfair advantage over my esteemed competitors. I'm all about the fairness...
Ooh ... I can't wait to see what happens, I loves me a good hanging, I do!!, ... erm ... I mean contest!!!
(freaking quoting from Robinhood Prince of Thieves ... sad!!)
shit. i've heard actually, if a woman takes hormones then her lips can turn into a set and there's already hair on them. well. sometimes...
i still think i qualify, but i will accept your decision. i didn't really want the pressure of trying to fill jim's shoes anyways...i just enjoy begging. hmmm some reason that doesn't sound right....oh well goodnight!
ok ... now i must come back. hilarious.
(will there be a comment takeover following each posting??)
i might have to quit my job.
Yeah I'm waiting to see how IB is going to make the Captain's dumb ass "his." Ouch. Is that a photo post????
And Petra, I'm applying. Screw these men. No one can give it to you like a woman, honey.
Now you can all trot off and pretend I'm a lesbian and that I mean something else by that comment.
Petra, I think you should just let them all battle it out in comments. It has to by as much fun as reading whatever they write in response to the questions.
You guys are hysterical! Have I stumbled into the high school locker room?
Now BRAJA is getting in the action? Oh, lawd, between her, Cat and Petra I'm not going to get anything done for the rest of the MONTH, jeez...
There is no way I could choose between Ryan and O Captain, my Captain.
I mean..can I stand in like, I don't know, Iowa somewhere (half way between them) and have a race to see who can smack me first?.. Just a thought.. oh, that might be nice.
Sorry. No offense to SL and Cole. Just thinkin'.
Irish, there's nothing fair about it with you in the contest!
And Captain, it sounds like I'm going to need to make an extra large pot of scantily clad soup! It's nearly done.. and I've got my car warming up already so I can bring it to you.. except wait.. I don't have a car. SHIT! Sorry, man.
Gotta admit, I already have a leaning towards Irish Gumbo. We Irish have to stick together. Then again, a guy who can come right out and admit to being a Dumbass, well you just gotta love that!
I am glad to see that Irish has ChurchPunkMom in his corner, he's going to need her praying.
Just so you know. Advantage ME...
I haven't even started writing my responses yet. Petra asked for a "Males Perspective" and like a MALE, "a DUDE", I decided it would be more fun to go stand out in my driveway and drink beer with my friends. Rather then scurry around all a flutter being sure to get my writing assignment turned in on time. Then I watched a Rocky marathon on TV. Ate a couple pizzas. Downloaded Porn. And took to napping my hangover away till the next day. I plan to just scribble some funny shit down 5 minutes real quick at the last minute. Just before the deadline. You can't beat that.
Ryan: Tut, tut, tut. The infinite capacity for you second stringers to delude yourselves never ceases to amaze me...
I already have it beat, see, you are too late. Thunder follows LIGHTNING, girlyman!
Ryan,
Good luck.
@Ryan, shit, thats probably what i would do, we have a lot in common... Oh wait you were only kidding? Crap. Petra can you stop the DVR on the Rocky Marathon, u know doubt its even on??
I'm glad I didn't throw my hat into the proverbial ring. I can't possibly pull off the 02/08 deadline. And the last time I lost my hat, my wife was very upset and spent more of my money to buy me a new one.
Oh well. Good luck finding a new guy. I do like Ron from Clark Kent's Lunchbox.
Wow - looks like the competition over here is heating up just in time for Valentine's Day! Looking forward to seeing who gets to be your blogging partner!
This is so highly entertaining! I have to wonder how the comments would be if it were women competing for Petra's spot? Start out begging and being adorable and then turn it all sexual in an effort to gain the male vote? Ha! Or jump straight to cut throat and bring out the claws?
I'm just gonna grab my popcorn, a Dr. Pepper, and sit back and enjoy the bloodshed. Oh, yeah.
Funniest comments I've seen in forever. These dudes are all hilarious, but I'm rooting for El Capitan. He is muy funny.
Girlyman? Really?! Isn't that from like 1988? You must be saving your A game for later.
This could get ugly, but I will be sure to stick around to see how it turns out...
Can I be "Sweden?" about it!? LOL!
Blah, blah, BLAH!
This isn't about who's the prettiest, who's the most popular, not even who's the best writer. It is about who can bring it. Every fucking week.
You guys better bring your best shit because I brought mine. AND. IT. KILLS.
@Ryan: Don't mess with the bull, you gonna get the horns, chump!
@IB: Kills? Kills what,every buzz in the room? Please, don't waste our time...
Irish you're backtracking. "Mess with the bull, you gonna get the horns" Breakfast Club 1985
come on buddy
IB - I am terrified of you. terrified.
Wow, look, Ryan can use Google! Say, man, is your underwear size the same as your head size?...'cause you are going to be wearing your ass for a hat! Boo-yahh!
Awwwwww shit what did I get myself into.
I might have to bag. I pulled my groin really bad today doing squats.
Wait, let me get my measuring tape out. I might have to measure them SEVERAL times to get an accurate, uh, um. wait what was I talking about????
Scoot over a bit, Liz! I'll join you with my Diet Coke with Lime. This is gonna be FUN! It's reminding me of my childhood and my 4 brothers going at it over who gets control of the TV.
Pass that popcorn, wouldya?
Let the games begin. I've got some blue cheese stuffed olives - vodkamom?? are you bringing the martunies?
OH!! I nearly forgot the Captain Morgan to put in my coke can!
Oh, this is going to be GOOD! I can't wait.
Awesome. Can't wait to review the wreckage on Monday.
Who's going to clean up all this blood and guts and gore?
My vote's with Sir Irish. He was the first Knight that rode into my Blogdom and He therefore takes pride at the Round Table...
Ay, yes, lass, for the blood of the frikkin' Irish! I hear the bagpipes aplayin' cross the moors, din't ya?
You've done laid dooon the gauntlet, you have, Petra. The boys they'll be arushing to prove who's the man of the day, they will.
Let the games begiiin!
SweatPea, don't feel bad. Irish Gumbo quoted Cars of all things. LOL
Can't wait for Monday!
does HBSB stand for Hospital Building Safety Board ,was established by Senate Bill 519 (Alquist) in the original Hospital Facilities Seismic Safety Act of 1973.
mp3-legende
I guess I have to vote for the dumbass, seeing how we are family.....and he is my ride to the airport next week!!
Commenting by HaloScan
